Sweet Fifteen

"The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together." -Erma Bombeck

This weekend I went home for my niece Sarah's 15th Birthday Party, or as it is known in my culture, her quinceanera. I had a very enjoyable time and though I admit that I'm not a proponent of quinceaneras in general, I went in support and had a great evening since I am a fan of birthdays. I went to one or two when I was 15 or so and stood up in one of them. I have a fuzzy memory, so I don't really recall what went into it though. They were common growing up.

My brother Abram and I left Austin after work on Friday and made it to the Valley a little after 10pm. This is where I normally clean up, find some friends and go and have some drinks. I was exhausted though and decided to go straight to bed instead. Little did I know I would be needing that rest the next day.

My mom was fighting off a sickness, which is never fun, but she was a trooper all weekend. Saturday morning I visited with my father over breakfast, and later picked up a small bottle of Maker's Mark since the event allowed hard liquor. I figured that would be more than enough for me, but I threw in a bottle of Parrot Bay rum for family. Then I went over to my sister Ana's house to hang out with all the kids while they got ready. So my sister Ana's daughter Sarah was the birthday girl, my sister Eliza's daughter Victoria was a dama (like a bridesmaid), and my sister Vero's daughter Jamie was also a dama. Sarah's little brother Michael was also in it. Eliza was also over helping out with hair and whatnot. I caught everyone on their way out to their family church thing before the reception. My sister Ana looked great and not just because of the efforts she had made to get in shape. I think she made a good dress choice. She looked a like a very proud mother.

I arrived at the hall and was impressed with the scale of the event. I imagine if I had a wedding reception this big I'd be lucky. The whole event had characteristics that were a reflection that Sarah's dad that put a lot of work into it. I put aside the fact that I might do things differently and just appreciated all the hard work that went into the evening, it was apparent. We took some formal family pictures with Sarah and I dropped off my gift in the card box. Dinner then started, and after eating, I visited will extended Alaniz family that I hadn't seen in quite some time. My niece Bekkah hung out with us and even her family able to make it. That is my favorite part of family gatherings like this, that you get to catch up with so many people.

Sarah was wearing a light pink dress that had pearls sewed on and looks white only from a distance. She looked very pretty and happy. Then the whole presentation started and I'm probably not well equipped at describing it without over simplifying it, but there was an introduction, and then a few dance numbers. The kids all did great and I was impressed with their dance routines. They looked like there were having fun. You can tell they put in many hours into the preparation. It was also the first time there has been an event where 4 of my nieces/nephews were all participating. I thought the idea of wearing pink laced converse with their dresses was cute. Below are my nieces, Tori and Jamie.

So here are all my Flickr photos of the event. I also posted a few on Facebook.

We finally called it a night and said our good nights as the kids continued to have fun on the dance floor. The whole thing went very well from my perspective.

After the party, I went with Abram to hang out with his good friend Elaine. They have been good friends since high school and I have gotten to know Elaine better over the years. She is quite the up and coming business woman I must say and her professional advancement is always impressive, but was more so on this occasion. We also met up with a married couple they have known since high school. The night took the usual path of drinks at various bars, the lively discussion of random topics, mixed in with a little reminiscing. It was fun. I learned that when a place has the word Irish in the name, that that can sometimes be a misnomer if all you hear is Spanish music, and that it is hard to go out in your hometown without running into familiar faces. We all returned back to her place where Elaine's boyfriend came home with some friends and her little sister showed up with the worst tasting diet Big Red drink I have ever tried. We shot the shit for a few hours and I was happy to find out that maybe more people might check in on my blog than I might imagine. I hadn't drank like this for a while I have to say. I scored a free t-shirt, but I don't remember the context, yet I am a fan of free t-shirts and it was a nice surprise.

Here is a funny thought I had that night while out drinking, that common sense should have made apparent. What I will say is about it is that no matter how adorable that college co-ed might be, once the conversations shifts to how unfair it is when your parents don't respect your privacy when you are in your bedroom, you know there is a reason for the half your age plus 7 rule. It makes for a funny moment, if only in my head.

Sunday, I said my goodbyes and made what felt like a much longer trip back to Austin. There is never enough time on short trips like this and there were a few friends I missed out on getting to hang out with. Not to mention friends I have promised to hit up when I visit home. I'm sure it won't be long before I have occasion to visit again though.

not really like samson

Yearly Physical

"You may delay, but time will not." - Benjamin Franklin

I mentioned in one of my recent entries that in December I started making an effort to change how I was approaching my health. I figured I'd write an overview entry on my thoughts while I have been taking these steps. I by no means imply that I have any knowledge about health or nutrition since I'm sure my information is about as misinformed as most of us. Today I had my yearly physical to see where I was health wise.

I was in great shape in college, man that was long ago. Then again during my first year of law school while I lived in Miami, but starting in my second year until the present I've thrown out everything I know and just adopted habits that I thought I would somehow be immune to. I would worry less because I know how to lift/workout, I know how to run, I know how to eat right. The problem was that the gap between knowing and doing started small and grew to a point where I started to forget what I knew and didn't even consider that there was probably a lot that I had wrong. Bad habits creep up on you and before you notice, they are not habits, but just the way you are.

Everything started for me when I read the book Born to Run. It really inspired me to start running. I have always disliked running, especially for distance. I always blamed my asthma and low arches and used it as an excuse. Even when I was in college playing lightweight football, I was able to get my 40 yard dash speed impressively low, but still never cared for running for distance. I had good cardio, but still was not a fan of running for the enjoyment of it unless it was for a sport. The book made me think differently about running.

So, one of things I have learned in life is that there are a lot of limitations you put on yourself that you don't fully recognize. It all starts with a small thought that becomes a belief. Confronting limiting beliefs is hard. For example, I'm not a person that runs, dances, or is always happy and cheerful. I'm not musical, artistic, or funny. As if somehow these are innate abilities and not things you learn by putting effort towards. (Note: I do not discount that some people may have natural advantages, but I think they actually only make a negligible difference in outcomes.) I started challenging a lot of things I believed about myself. Foods I told myself I didn't like, I tried again for the first time. So on running, I picked up a pair of Vibrams and started running, but that wasn't the real change I'm writing about today, because honestly, my journey on running is yet to come, it was something different that I call my personal placebo effect.

Having the feather in Dumbo's hat can make a world of difference in the confidence you feel. Whether the feather actually makes a difference or not isn't the point though. In the book, they mentioned wheatgrass as great source of nutrition and I was impressed that a lot of ultra-marathoners swore by it. Usually I wouldn't think much of it, but a few good friends of mine had talked to me about wheatgrass in the past and just like the neti-pot, I listened, but discounted it to hype and over enthusiasm. But now that I had someone else mention it, I thought that this was something worth trying. I ordered some powdered wheatgrass online and gave it a try. I was very impressed with the way it made me feel. I started to read up on it and I was discouraged by how oversold it was, I mean, when something is promised to cure almost everything, you have this feeling of warranted skepticism when you hear things like that knowing that you have to take the information with a grain of salt. So, I make no claims as to its health effects, but I can say it wasn't bad for me, which was good (it probably is good for me I will say) and second, it served as a catalyst for change.

Wheatgrass is like the gateway drug of green superfoods. I learned about all these other grasses that were also good, including barley, kale, etc. and then I tried my first green superfood. It had a lot less wheatgrass since it was a mix, but had a lot of other good stuff, so I felt like I was covering my bases since NONE of this was in my normal diet. Then after trying a few products, I found the supplement that I have used until today and with no financial interest would recommend to anyone. It is called Vitamineral Green. It is a super green food mix and I consider it my daily multivitamin. I'm not saying all its claims are verifiable, but even if the health effect is small, it is my personal feather in Dumbo's hat. I take it in the morning mixed with V8 Fusion Light and have it again with my dinner. It helps me feel more awake in the morning and maybe best of all, when I'm drinking it, I'm not drinking something else, which I would normally have at that time, like a soda. It comes in a pretty cool looking bottle.

My next step was giving up coke. Now I'm not making any proclamations here because as terrible as coke/HFCS is for me (and you), it is still my favorite drink. But 3 a day is way too many and though I was able to move to only 2 a day, my doctor told me that 2 a week was pushing it. So cold turkey I went and everyone knows what caffeine withdraw feels like. Having water at a restaurant just feels weird or wrong, but I started to do it. It was a small change and after a month with no cokes, I let myself have one every Sunday. That I would say was my most significant change mentally.

None of these changes had anything to do with a silly resolution, but New Years did play a role. I was out with some friends and we got to talking about their diets (by that I mean foods they have been eating for years.) They were like vegetarian, but with fish. pescatarian? So I took that as inspiration to add more fish to my diet and picked a few meals that I enjoyed and pretty much only have that. Not all of it is super healthy, but comparatively to what I ate before it is much better. That day also reinforced my motivation to work harder taking my nutrition seriously. For how long I wondered.

There is more motivating me than just vanity, mainly that fact that I had a physical coming up and the last time I had one my cholesterol numbers were super high. To the point I was given meds to lower it, which I did not take for self serving reasoning that has no medical justification. I needed to make an improvement because I know that heart disease is a real possibility and there is no point helping it out. Though, I won't kid you, vanity is nice and provides the core of the motivation.

So now, in about two months, I have dropped 21 pounds and it wasn't too difficult. I hope to get my last 15 done in the next three months. Now that I'm at a good weight though, I'm focusing on lifting more and getting stronger. That is a project in itself. Your mind sees weights and remembers what you could lift and then you find out that man, that feels impossible now. Another uphill battle just to get to where you had once started. Luckily, I have always enjoyed the gym.

Here is the status of my progress which is only apparent if you have seen me in the past two years.

You might notice that my cat Mia on the right, who decided to photo bomb, needs to go on a diet, something I have yet to figure out since my other cats are under weight. It is just hard to feed them separately, but I'm working with my vet on that.

Now it is easy to say that moderation is the key and that once I hit my goal I'll stop creating a calorie deficit and practice moderation. The truth is that I don't have a strong plan for when I reach my goal. I have time to make one though. In reality, I know that there is a real chance that I'll slip back into my old habits and over time be back to where I was in 2010 if not worse. I feel like the girl that tells you how bad her cheating boyfriend is and why she broke up with him. Then to only, not too long later, end up back with him with a hidden sense of shame. I have no grand illusions, but knowing that, I hope I can come up with a plan on how to deal with my moderation plan. I want to be able to eat at restaurants, have ice cream and popcorn at the movies. So as long as my main routine meals are good, those may become options, but we will see. If only it was that easy.

The truth is that I will probably have to consult with a nutritionist since everyone has their own theories and advice on what to eat. There is so much conflicting information, from the debates over calories out/calories in to all calories are not created equal. Then we have when to have carbs and how important fruits are to ones nutrition. I'll probably go over what I eat and figure out how to improve it.

As you probably realized, this entry was mainly for myself, like a form of self talk, to see where I stood and what my plan was. Eating better isn't that deep or revolutionary warranting an entry, but for some reason writing about it helps with the motivation. It cleared some things up for me I will say.

Today, Thursday, I had my physical and got the results from my cholesterol blood test. They came back much better than before, but they are still too high considering my risk factors. I guess am on a good track though. That made me feel better, but the real test is to return a year from now for my physical and have even better results. Everything else checked out great which I was happy to hear. Did you know you turn your head to cough only so that you don't cough on the doctor?

Now beware, words are self serving and I realize I neglected to mention a lot of things I know I'm doing wrong and motivation I have yet to act on. Things are never all rosy and positive. I know those things are there, I know my history and my habits. I hope to move those into the positive category too, but opining about them just isn't productive unless it is to find a solution. What I did share was honest and if you got here, full of more detail than I intended.

no need to label it

More than Complicated

“I realized I loved you, and I didn’t want to be married to somebody I didn’t love. I wanted to be married to you. It isn’t all that complicated.” - Fireworks by Richard Ford

I hope everyone had a Happy Valentine's Day! I have never viewed this holiday cynically, but I have never been a real huge fan either. I think a day where you really focus on the idea of love is important and I'm kind of tired of all the "it's too commercialized" arguments you hear from unhappy discontents. People can celebrate it how ever they want, that goes for you too. I enjoy the single awareness day tag that it has been given in recent years, but though it makes me chuckle, I don't really see it as that. Sometimes it is just fun to get all dressed up and celebrate for the sake of celebrating. It isn't like its the only romantic time of the year.

This weekend my friend Christina went horseback riding with some of my other friends. I didn't go because I wanted to be responsible and save some money for my house downpayment. They had quite the adventure, especially Christina who was able to stand up to her fears and well watch them come true, making her defeat them. It has been a long time since I have been horseback riding, but even longer since I have been on jet skis. That is on my list for this summer. Like the saying goes, you have never seen an unhappy person on a jet ski. I might be too old for spring break, but not for a trip for a Caribbean island.

The Superbowl has long past, but it was pretty exciting weekend. I was happy that Green Bay won, especially since my cousin Rino is a huge fan. Abram had a Superbowl party at the house which got a good turn out. It was timely that we just got the carpet cleaned because it really made the place look nicer. My favorite commercial was the one with the little Darth Vader. All I could think about was how I have to go to Cowboys stadium next year.

On last Wednesday night, I went to a pot luck dinner party with friends in San Marcos. My friend Christina came with me and we took wine and salad. It felt like a real grown up thing to do. The host's home was really nice. Since I'm looking, I like seeing different layouts and what works best for me. I really liked how the kitchen's bar faced the living room. I really like that setup. The main course was eggplant, which even now I'm not sure if I liked, but I'd have no problem trying it again. I learned a lot about Chinese weddings and played Risk for the very first time. I was not very good and lost quickly for being too aggressive. It is fun to attack. Part of me prefers pizza and poker I must say.

Last week, the dictator of Egypt finally stepped down and I was very happy. I'm very pro-democracy, but not by means of war. There is a lot of fear mongering about what this will mean, considering that if you get rid of a dictator that was our friend, it can be substituted by voting in some religious nut that might take the country into a worse place. (Also what I worry about with Republicans for 2012, but that is my personal politics.) The fact is that there are risks in democracy that the right leaders might not be picked, but I'd rather have the freedom to choose than have a benevolent dictator who keeps stability (in which case this one was not.) With freedom comes responsibilities and to say that being under a dictator is better than being free because it serves our country's best interests makes no sense to me. I don't know what is going to happen next, but I really hope they have free and fair elections. Here is hoping to a positive outcome and that this sentiment may spread in the region. Looking at you Iran.

Due to the cold weather as of late, I've had to put my outdoor running aside for a bit. I will admit, part of me just took the excuse to be lazy. Now that things are getting sunny, I hope to rev up again and hopefully increase my miles. A half marathon still seems like an impossible goal right now, but I'm going to keep trying. I've done all my running in my Vibrams and I am still happy with them, though I still have terrible form. The eating changes I made a few months ago are feeling more normal, but my cheat day each week worries me. One day where I can have bad food makes me feel like I'm more willing to go bad to old habits than if I just tried to stay away from everything forever. Then again, really how realistic is it to never have ice cream again, or enjoy a soda. Speaking of eating right, here is a health blog one of my friends just set up: http://eatingforlife.blog.com/ The start of law school was the last time I took on a being more healthy project like this and I was pleased with my commitment then. I also had a schedule where I could spent hours in the morning in the gym, but there are always excuses.

I feel like I have learned the most about parenting from Facebook posts, as an uncle 7 times over and from conversations with my friends about their kids. Here are a few lessons I have learned. I mean everything in a lighthearted way, especially considering I don't understand the first thing about parenting and have a lot of respect for parents since they have an important task-making sure they raise a good human being. I'll do my best to tread these waters carefully because lesson one is that parents take things super seriously, especially when it in any way is related to their children. Constructive criticism is a no no, so pipe down if you think there might be a better way to handle a certain situation. Though, they have no problem telling you what others are doing wrong, which is kind of cool and also how most people are about life in general. I thought I enjoyed taking pictures of my pets, but I'd say that at least 50% of a parent's pictures are of their kids. Though I find it interesting that if they have more than one kid, then that starts to decrease, and seems to be a bigger ratio when you have just one. Second, kids are super smart now, but for some reason their teacher has it out for them. I don't know how to reconcile this with the fact that test scores keep dropping across the country. I have learned a lot about childhood illnesses and by that I mean colds/rashes/stomach aches, from Facebook, which make me worry that dealing with a child when they are sick is super stressful because it happens so often. I have been told that I'll never understand [insert parenting topic here] because I am not a mother, which means even when I have kids, I still won't get it. Birthday parties are super important, even if the child is 2 and won't remember any of it. (Not an argument for it not being important, but maybe for a bit of restraint.) Next, people really really enjoy going on dates with their kids. Part of me could never imagine my mom calling taking the kids out to the drive-in as a date night. Oh and when kids are away, this is a super sad time when all you can think about is how much you miss them and can't wait for them to get back home. Kids require a lot of driving to and from places-I knew this, but it really started to sink in. Oh, and you can't forget that kids are the reason for living, which worries me sometimes because I enjoy living too. Here are some things I do fine adorable, Halloween costumes, babies in pj's with animal ears on them, and how much some kids resemble their parents, since I knew some of those parents when they were kids. I'm sure I have other observations that slip my mind right now, but I'll keep a running tally.

I recently discovered Reddit and I must say I'm pretty addicted. Such a great website and that is because I just read the posts, instead of adding anything because I could see that as becoming a slippery slope of trying to get up votes. It is worth checking out and I catch a lot of news and funny things there before it is picked up.

biting off more than I can chew

Short Sale

"The past is strapped to our backs. We do not have to see it; we can always feel it." -Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

More than half a month since my last entry. (And I didn't even post this entry until much later after I wrote it.) My motivation to write has been waning. I don't have a good excuse, except maybe that I haven't had a lot to say. I have a feeling I'll be writing less often for the next few months.

On Monday, January 31, I took my 7 month old kitten Maddie to get fixed. I felt bad because she was going to have surgery, but knew that it was the best thing for her. She was a champ on the half hour ride to clinic and didn't meow very much. Koki on the other hand has an anxiety attack each time I put her in the car and it is very hard on me to hear her yelling while I take her to the vet. The check in was pretty simple and I was impressed with how many animals this place deals with daily. I picked Maddie up after work and she looked very sleepy. I felt guilty knowing that she was in pain. When she got home, she hid under the bed and slept. I gave her pain meds before bed and again in the morning. I hope she heals quickly. Glad I don't have any animals left to get fixed.

I have had one goal for many years, to buy a house. I feel too old to not have a house and ever since I was a kid, I bought into the American dream of home ownership. So that is one of my goals for 2011. I've got my life in order to make it happen, but I'm still working out the details with the mortgage people. It may be that I have to wait another 6 months or so, but one thing is for sure, I'm going to keep moving towards my goal. I've tried not getting ahead of myself and looking at homes to closely, but from what I have browsed, house shopping looks like a fun process. So many things to think about and pros and cons to weigh. I found out that I like when the kitchen is open and value larger bedrooms as opposed to larger living rooms. It is funny how things like appliances, granite counters and a jet tub influence your much larger home buying decision. When I do get a home, I'm going to install a doggy door for sure. Maybe even an interior cat door. It is fun to imagine stuff, now it is time to figure out how to make it happen.

I read the most interesting article the other day. It has to do with how men judge women who were once fat and now lost weight differently than women treat men in that situation.

"[Women] typically see positive change as a good thing. When people notice a frog become a prince, they tend to think more highly of the frog in retrospect," Geier said. "However, [men] rated thin women as less attractive when they were allowed to view the 'before' pictures. Seeing that a thin woman was once obese apparently detracts from her present appearance."

Sadly, this made sense to me, but I'm not exactly sure why. I hear from women that they are treated very differently based on that too. In either case, getting healthy is a good thing.

On a somewhat similar topic, Childhood obesity linked to habits, not heredity: U-M study.

"Because the eating and exercise patterns of obese children were so different than their normal weight peers, researchers concluded that lifestyle was more closely linked with childhood obesity, than genetics."

This is pretty obvious, but I think a lot of people feel better blaming it on genetics and not their lifestyle. I worry a lot about the childhood obesity problem since it always seems to be getting worse.

So why the discussion on weight? Probably because I have been changing my eating habits and it has been on my mind. Since late December I have changed what I eat daily and have given up cokes completely. I now understand why alcoholics can't have "just one beer." I feel like if I have a coke, I'll relapse back to my 3 a day habit that took years to move to 2 a day. With an eating change and some running I've dropped about 15 pounds in a month and a half, but with 20 more to go before I hit a healthy BMI, I don't have a lot to be excited about. It hasn't been too bad, but sometimes I worry I'm just going to wake up and start eating all kinds of bad food. I haven't eaten so much salmon in my life. The Superbowl is going to be a hard test food wise. I really hope to keep the running up, which I used to not be fond of. The part I do hate is that this all occurred during the stereotypical New Year's Resolution time period. I am not a fan of resolutions, since they implicitly carry with them the understanding that most people quit. It was a change I started before the New Year, and one I expect to keep for a few more months and then I'll figure out a plan from there.

a new deal