Year Ten

"Running isn't about how far you go, but how far you've come." - Bart Yasso

It has been 10 years since my older sister Veronica passed away. Each year on February 16, each member of my family marks her passing in their own personal way.  There is nothing expected that you do on a day like this, but it is still special despite it marking such a tragic day in our lives. I have written a lot about my sister in the past, but probably not all I have left to say.   I seem to write about my thoughts on this at least twice a year, usually once on this anniversary day (e.g. seven years, six years, five years) and also on her birthday.  I'm missing a few links there, but you get the idea.  But this entry is different.

Vero has two wonderful daughters, Rebekkah (20) and Jamie (16). Having my nieces is a wonderful way to always feel connected to our sister.  Rebekkah has now joined her sister Jamie in having lived her life for more time without her mother than with her mother. That breaks my heart.

This past January Bekkah ran her first half marathon with me.  It was great experience that I was happy to share with her.  After, Bekkah decided to also run the Austin Half Marathon which fell on the day after the 10 year anniversary of her mom's passing.  I was happy that Bekkah and my brother Abram wanted to run it with me since that makes races more fun. It was probably why at first I wanted it to be the day I completed my first marathon.  This was unrealistic considering how recently I started running and my current fitness level.  So I moved my full marathon goal to a date near Vero's birthday in late May to accomplish that feat.  That goal is ongoing.

On this cool day in February, my brother Abram was going to attempt his first half marathon with Bekkah and I.  Here we were, Vero's two brothers and oldest daughter doing something I know Vero would have been so proud of.  Vero loved the gym and probably for the same reasons that I feel need it sometimes.  It wasn't running the race and crossing the finish line that was meant to honor her, but the act of doing it together as a family.  The idea her little girls are being taken care of all these years later by family that truly loves them is what I wanted it to symbolize.  I think my sister would be proud to see us living our lives and in this case doing something healthy.

Here is a photo of all of us before the race.  I called my shirt red-ish, but yeah, it looks pink. 

So here is the how the race went.  Abram had been really busy with work and wasn't able to prepare as well as he would like for the race.  He still did a lot, but this was going to make it more of a challenge.  Bekkah was dealing with a few aches and pains from her hard workouts, but generally she felt ready.  This was the first race where I felt like I wasn't injured, so I was just wanting to get out there and see how I could.   

The day before the race, on Saturday morning, Abram went with me for a 2 mile run with my running group.  It was nice to share with him where I have been spending so much time.  We ran a very fast clip, but it felt good.  I was surprised to see that he was wearing very old shoes that he had for years.  Bekkah made it into town after our morning warmup and we all headed to the expo together to get our racing bibs.  I always end up buying so much stuff I shouldn't at the expo, but it is a lot of fun.  Bekkah convinced Abram to buy a new pair of shoes, a decision that I think ended up making all the difference.  Once we got our bibs and did our shopping, we headed out to Abram's new house to join my sister-in-law Ashley for lunch and so Bekkah could check their new place.  We had our carb filled lunch and spent time together chatting. 

I rested most of the day as we would be getting up really early the next day.  While it was still dark the next morning, Abram showed up to my house and we headed together out to race.  We parked by my running class and walked about a mile and a half to the start line.  It was a chilly morning, but we had jackets from Goodwill that we were wearing that we would leave at the starting line to be donated right back to charity.  I'm still new to this and my last race was completed in 2:34 and my goal for this race was to beat that for a new personal record. 

As we crossed the start line, Bekkah dashed out in front as she is the faster runner of us three.  We would not see her again until the finish line. I was worried that Abram might not be up for the challenge since he was dealing with an injury, but I under estimated my brother.  We started off much faster than I had intended. I worry about burning out by going to hard too fast, but I just told myself I would keep up that pace because there was no way that he could keep it up for long and assumed we would setting into my long run pace.  His shoes felt great and by the time we hit mile 5 I knew there was no question he was going to finish and most likely rock it.  We literally ran side by side for the first 10 miles.  I'm usually not a fan of running with someone unless I know their pace and even then I'm still happy to take off on them or have them take off on me during a run.  At mile 10 we hit the worst of the hills and this is where I thought I would make my break, where all my training would pay off.  Well, I still have some work to do because this was where Abram found new energy and broke away ahead of me and conquered those hills.  I fell behind and still worked hard, but it was tough.  I knew I was way ahead of my initial goal, but I wanted to do my best.  At mile 11 my usual calf cramps started to set in, something I'm always working to address.  I didn't let it deter me and I kept pushing forward as I took in more water and some salt, but at mile 12 my pace really dropped and any attempt to try and run faster would result in a slight convulsion in my calf.  Surprisingly, aside from that small issue, I felt amazing, though I knew I didn't have a full in me yet even if I gave it my all.  I was so happy to see the finish line and when I crossed it I felt wonderful.  Bekkah had already crossed with a new personal record and finished in 2:08, Abram came in 2nd of us three with 2:15 and I came in third at 2:17.  I was so proud and impressed with how well Abram did for his first one.  I hope he keeps it up.  That is what general conditioning and being in good health can do for you.  None of us felt spent, but I needed some pickle juice to put the cramps at bay. Ashley was there waiting for us and even took some pictures. 

We were very proud to get our medals.  Here we are after the race:

And that was it.  We have come pretty far during those ten years.  We did it and we knew it would not be our last one.  I've spent many years during this time feeling overly sad about my sister, but this time I felt like doing this with her on my mind really helped me get past a milestone this is still hard for my mind to comprehend. I was really thankful for this. 

My other niece Jamie, Bekkah's younger sister, shared her thoughts about her mother during the anniversary on Facebook along with my sister Vero's high school photo. They were:

"Today marks the 10th year memorial of our angel up on heaven....today isn't a day to be sad or cry but to stop and remember. To cherish the days we have left and appreciate them. To stop and reflect on those awesome memories of when she would tuck us into bed or just hold us close and tell us not to worry... She may not physically be here,but we all know that she loves writhing each and every one of us:) I love you mommy❤ " - Jamie C.

A lot of my sentiments were captured in her thoughts and I did my best to cherish my days.  My biggest fear was always to forget her, to think about her less and less.  I'm happy that that fear has not materialized and that her memory and our time together continues to serve as inspiration as I move forward.

missing

Just BE

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination; happiness is to be found along the way not at the end of the road, for then the journey is over and it's too late. The time for happiness is today not tomorrow." - Paul H Dunn

  A Home

The year is flying by and so much seems to be happening in such a small period of time.  I can't believe it is February already.  My brother Abram and his wife Ashley just closed on their first home.  It is about 10 miles from my house and I am so very happy for them.  The place looks great and I really like what they are doing with it.

Cousins

My cousin Adam from Ft. Worth came to visit Austin for business.  It was great to see him.  Us cousin's got together and had dinner.  Rino, Abram, Adam and I all grew up together as kids and have a lot of memories from those times.  It probably explains why we are so close.  Rino's wife Jessica and Abram's wife Ashley, joined us for dinner too.  Aside from the usual ill advised straying to in politics, we all still get along so very well. I have so many great stories I could share.  Talking about the good old days is great, but it is also great to catch up on all the great things happening in their lives right now.  They are all grown up and married now.  The next night I had drinks with my cousin Adam and some of his co-workers downtown. We had a good time and got to catch up more.  I'm going to stay with him when I go up to Dallas for half marathon in March.  I'm really proud of him and all that he has accomplished.  There are a lot of things i could learn from him.

We all spent a lot of time together as kids at my grandparents' house. We each had our own way, but we functioned well as a team.  Cousins are truly your first real friends.  Below is a photo of all of us as kids. that I recently got from my Tia.  I wonder if you can tell who is who.  Look at me and my brotherly shoulder hold, I looked very godfather like. By the way, grandparents, awesome. 

And here we are now after having had dinner in Austin. when Adam came to visit. My how we have grown.

Allergies

 

I have had horrible allergies. How about that for a segue? I always have since I was little. I've learned to deal with them with medicine, staying indoors often and hoping the people around me just get used to me sneezing often.  The funny part is that they have gotten much much better the past 3 years.  To the point where I'm not taking medicine daily like I used to and can go outside and do stuff like hike and run.  I attribute that to factors that probably qualify as mostly placebo, but is some green stuff I take every morning.  Then for some reason, in the middle of Cedar Fever season, I just had a terrible allergy week.  I could not figure it out.  Was it some environmental factor in my house, my work, just the cedar?  It was enough to get me to finally go and see an allergy specialist.  So I made an appointment with an allergist and had my first allergy test.  The best part was I couldn't take meds for a week, so after being so bad that I wanted to see a doctor, the next week was worse.

I had never had an allergy test before, but I was pretty sure what they entailed.  They pretty much just pricked my back over 100 times with various allergens and then pricked my arm with some they were not sure of.  The back ones were not great feeling, but not too bad.  The arm ones hurt I must say.  Then I got my results.  I was not surprised, they were really bad, even impressed the doctor.  I was allergic to 42 of 44, pollens, trees, and weeds for example.  There is not a season where I get a break.  I wasn't allergic to many foods, but had a lot of positives for environmental factors. 

Now the best part, I am allergic to cats.  I did get a false negative the first time, but showed up as allergic on the second try on my arm.   That is probably not good considering that I have cats.  Not that it makes a difference, I mean I don't care how allergic I am to my cat Koki, it does not change much and I'll just do as I have always done, just deal with it.  I'm now starting allergy shots, which is not exciting due to my dislike of needles, particularly when pushed inside me.  Only 5 more years of shots to go and maybe I'll be a little better. I do look forward to some relief though.

Cornell Memories

Life has an interesting way of working out.  My freshman year in college I met a girl from NYC who was the Resident Adviser for our dorm.  She embodied the classic NYC girl to me, which I had no understanding of at the time. I thought she was cute, but I was taken, but I did think we would probably be good friends if she was not our RA. Considering I was a freshman with a rowdy bunch of friends, we probably had our dorm run ins, though my memory isn't very good.  We lost touch after freshman year and never really became close friends, although we were acquaintances since we had many mutual friends.

Over a decade later we became Facebook friends as people often do with acquaintances and it was nice to see how an old college friend was doing.  At some point in the fall she had a trip to Texas to visit a potential job opportunity and we started to chat as I explained all the wonderful selling points of Austin.  When she was in town we met for a drink and I enjoyed catching up on where her life had taken her over all these years.  People always have such impressive stories.  I must say, even though everyone's journey is different, it is interesting how much everyone's path has in common.

We continued to be Facebook friends and old college acquaintances. Months later, we reconnected again to discuss her questions about the the city now that she was having to make a decision.  I shared my opinions and must see places if she were to come back to check it out again.  Then I guess we just strayed into life and how things were going.  It was really nice to chat with someone who approached things in a similar way to me, who understood why I thought certain things.  We quickly became friends and it was nice having a friend who you didn't have to worry about liking each other since you live so far apart, so you feel like you can be more honest. I had a new pen pal.

I have a complicated (although still very positive) track record with being close friends with girls and the word complicated is an understatement.  This was not complicated and that was nice.  I was later excited to find out that she was going to visit Austin again for a few days to check out some job opportunities and I volunteered to show her around this time. 

The trip was great and probably something that I really needed. It has been a long time since I have had a week of such fun.  It was like being a tourist in my own city and it also allowed me to check out things I have never had the occasion to check out before.  We went to Zilker park and I finally got to ride the little kids train, which has been a goal of mine for way too long.  Most people would be let down with a slow moving train geared towards little kids, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  We got to visit the botanical gardens, eat at some of my favorite places and the weather was mostly perfect.  We did the usual downtown outings like Rainey St and I was happy to have a friend to go and see the Lion King Musical with.  Great musical by the way, I regret not having seen it sooner.   We even capped the trip off with VIP concert tickets to see one of her favorite musicians, Matisyahu.  He was impressive and the concert was an experience. Here is a photo of us at the concert since I didn't really take many photos that week.

The week went by very fast, but I was glad that I got to confirm that we really were friends that got along well in person as well.  It is always too bad to have such a good friend that lives so far away, but since most of my college and law school buddies are spread out, I know the feeling.  I was sad that she had to go back to NY, but am glad to have been a decent host and to have a good friend in my life.  Sometimes people can only be in your life for a short period of time, but they have a very positive impact.  I was impressed with her ability to not go crazy from hearing all my running stories and thoughts on the subject, but who knows, maybe I'll make her a convert too.

Coming Races

Speaking of running, coming up this February is the Austin Marathon and Half Marathon. The one I'm running with my niece and brother.  It is going to be his first one.  I'll probably talk more about it in my next entry I'm sure, but for now I must say that I'm really looking forward to it.  I really want to push myself this time and see how I can do.  I love the signs people hold up like "Go Random Stranger!", "Your feet are hurting because you are kicking so much ass," and "why do all the cute ones run away."  When I finally do my full marathon in June, I hope to have someone there holding this sign for me:

 

don't mess with happy