Panera and the Chocolate Wall

I'm here without you baby

But you're still on my lonely mind

I think about you baby

And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby

But you're still with me in my dreams

And tonight it's only you and me

- Here without you by 3 Doors Down

I jumped on a flight Wednesday morning and landed in DC at 4pm. Terri was at the airport waiting for me when I arrived. It was wonderful seeing her again and she looked the same even though she was now a year older. I didn't see myself returning to DC in quite some time and the town is filled with a lot of memories, both good and bad. This time I felt like I was in a new and different city, but one where I knew my way around, knew how it smelled and how it looked.

I gave Terri her birthday Easter basket and we got on the Metro. Of course we got on going the wrong way and we ended up on King Street before we turned around. We were having so much fun catching up, that we didn't notice. The trip to DC/Maryland was long, but I didn't feel it at all. It is so much fun seeing all the southern tourists on the train. Terri enjoys them more than I do.

As we got off the Metro in Friendship heights, we stopped by Chipotle to get some food since I hadn't really eaten all day. I don't think I have found a Chipotle in Miami yet. They might not have them here. The food there is always great even though it is owned by McDonalds. Terri had a very nice apartment in Maryland. It was actually just outside of DC, probably blocks away from the line. I don't remember her other apartment too well, but this one was much cooler and bigger. There is so much I could say about how I met Terri, how we became friends while I was in Miami and how happy I was to see her, but this story is about the trip.

Taking a step back to the flight, I was on the plane sitting next to this girl about my age. Well I started chatting it up with her since I thought she was from DC considering she had like 3 jackets with her. She told me how she was visiting her boyfriend who was doing a med program for 6 weeks in DC and how she was from Miami and this was her first time there. The conversation could of been better, but Terri kept coming to mind reminding me how annoying it is for that guy next to you to never shut up when all you want to do is read your magazine or sleep. Since girls generally suck at interesting conversation, I left it open to her and of course it dwindled down and I decided to read instead of talk. Oh yeah, in line at Ft. Lauderdale, I met a woman from upstate NY who was down in Boca visiting some friends. She had never been away from her kids this long in her life and she was really excited about getting back. She seemed to be middle class with 3 kids, minivan type of mom, visiting her rich friend who lived in a mansion, drove a Bently and had a pool WITH CAVES! Then when I tell her I would love to retire in Boca, she tells me money isn't everything. Yeah I know that, but she seemed really excited to have experienced the life, driving around in that Farari with her rich friends. Ironically, the next night, I saw trading vacations with Terri and her roommate Andrea and it was a rich and poor family on an Aspen vacation and a camping one. Funny how both families seemed to be out of touch with reality.

After we eat, we relax and I settle in after the flight. We then get ready to go out and eat. Terri, her roommate Andrea and their friend go to eat at the Cheesecake Factory. That place is so good, but man those portions were big. So I'm sitting there with 2 3L law students and a recent lawyer thinking, wow, soon enough my friends are going to be lawyers, that is a really different world than I have been used to. Dinner was great, the girls talked about their cruise and we all had an enjoyable time. We even got some cheesecake to go. We got home and watched Alias (Terri's show, not mine) and then got ready for bed since Terri had a long day of school on Thursday.

Thursday, Terri left me for her obligations and a long fun day of law school and law school related activities and though I thought about just sleeping all day, I got up and went to have lunch. After, I wandered around DC for a bit, stopping by bookstores and coffee shops finishing up my former intern's recommendation letter I should of had done prior to my trip to DC. I then found myself at a bookstore chatting with Terri online while she was in class. Once 5pm came along and Mark got out of work for the day, I met up with him. It was great seeing Mark again. He was a great roommate and a good friend. I used to call him my 2nd favorite roommate from DC. We caught up and walked over to a Mexican restaurant to meet up with Mark's co-workers for Happy Hour. We had a great time, and then Jenn, my former co-worker, showed up with the roommate. Seeing her was great and she seemed to be doing wonderfully. Shawna, Mark's gf, was there too, and it felt like we all picked up where we had left off. I miss DC happy hours.

Once happy hour was done, I made my way from Virginia to Maryland to meet up with Terri and her friends at Rock Bottom. I had to navigate through some streets, but I found my way after getting a bit lost. I get there and meet Terri's friends Mike and Heidi. They are very good friends of Terri she has known since she was a 1L. They were very nice and lots of fun. For whatever reason, Mike reminded me of that Nick guy who is married to Jessica Simpson. We had some very good deserts and watched some basketball. Two happy hours = a lot of drinking. Another good day and no thought of how much study I probably wasn't getting done.

Friday was also cold and rainy, so we had lunch at Panera and spent the day indoors. At night, we watched the OC that Terri's roommate Andrea recorded for us. That was really nice of her and since Terri and I talk about the OC all the time, it was great being able to see it with her. When you start pertending to be like characters like when you were little (NO I'm Donatello!), you know you are addicted.

Saturday, we slept in again. It was sad knowing it would be my last day there. I didn't have the feeling that my flight was leaving later that day. We went to Chadwicks and had lunch. After, Terri came with me to DCA. It was very nice of her to accompany me on my metro ride to the airport. I guess that is when the sadness part started to kick in, but I knew that I would see her again. There is a lot that I am probably missing, but I am sure my memory will serve me well. I am looking forward to having experiences like this in the future and continuing to be this happy. I hope to take more pictures next time, but I took a few.

DCA doesn't have internet access, so I just read while I waited for my flight. On the flight home, I met this couple who seemed like the graduate social activist type. The stereotypical rich kids, who are educated and devoting their time to social causes. Another nice guy got me into the conversation with the girl, and I found out she was a teacher in DC. Her boyfriend went to school with her, but I don't know what he did. I finally got her to say what school she went to, and she hesitantly said Harvard (grad '03). I guess she didn't want me to associate any stereotypes of Harvard with her, but ironically, she fit the one I found in my college experience. She did come from money, but she hid it well in her dress and way of living. I tried to find out more about her motivations on pursuing this path, but she gave me no real explanation of her passions or plan or path. I just wanted to know what happens to a person like her when they move past their service stage. Is this a life long commitment, or does she even view it that way, or does she want to be a teacher. I wasn't too impressed with her explanation of her choice to teach, but she did teach me a lot about being Jewish, and about their holidays. I probably annoyed her with all my questions, but she was nice and was the type that enjoyed talking. Meeting people on planes can be fun.

I got home and Sunday was Easter. I talked to my sister Ana about how they celebrated at home and how all the kids had an Easter egg hunt at my Dad's place. I'm looking forward to spending the summer with them. I have been calling home a lot more than usual, but it is nice.

Say yes I meant it

Not the most Efficient Approach

"I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past." -Thomas Jefferson

On Friday, I went to class and then came back and met up with Juan who was hanging out by the pool reading. It was a sunny day and you usually don't get to hang out by the pool getting a tan in NY. We went down to Ocean Dr and walked around a bit. Juan was introduced to the small dog as a fashion accessory. We then walked over to Lincoln Road and walked amongst the other tourists looking for a restaurant that we found intriguing. We finally setted for a jazz bar called Van Dykes. We ate outside and caught up on how life was going. It was a good meal with good service.

That night was dedicated to dancing. Frank set up a night for use to go to Bongos, a latin dance club, and we met up there with some of his friends. The place wasn't as packed as it was the last time we went, but there there were enough people to have a good time. Frank and Juan danced a lot, and even I got out there and tried to learn thanks to Frank's nice and patient friend.

Saturday was a very warm and sunny day, so Juan and I made our way to the beach. The beach is a great place and I don't go often enough. I read a book, got some sun and even played soccer for a bit. The beach was really packed, and some people, the sun bathers, are better be by than the loud drunk guys. I always took for granted that you could drink on the beach, but Juan said in NY that you can't drink on public beaches. It was really damn relaxing and I felt like I was the one on vacation.

As the sun went down, we found a nice Cuban place on Ocean Dr. to eat at. I bought Juan a Mojito for him to try. It must have been strong because we were feeling them before our meals came. This is the first time I've actually enjoyed eating plantains. I still won't seek them out, but they are not as bad tasting as I once thought. I really like Moros, but I've always been a rice and beans person I guess.

Saturday night, the plan was to go out to the South Beach clubs. Considering the fun Fed and Juan had in Ft. Lauderdale, we went there instead. It was probably better, because the club scene is more fun when you go with a group of girls. We had another great night out.

Overall the trip was great. It was great seeing Juan and thanks to him, I actually went out and had some fun. These were good times I would not of had if not for him. So I am very thankful to him for coming.

I was driving to Burger King to get some food for Juan and I and I ran into a law student acquaintance who was out there in the parking lot doing a support car wash. I was in a rush so I didn't have time for a wash, but when he came over to talk to me, I donated 10 dollars to their cause. So this is a good guy who probably isn't much older than I am. I know he is married, but I don't think he has children. He was there working with his church raising money for these kids to go to a church camp. I was impressed that he would donate his time to his church like that and work with so much enthusiasm to raise money for kids that were not even his. There are some good people out there.

Monday morning, I wake up, do my reading for contracts, and walk out to my truck to drive to class. I was in a good mood, and then as I walk up to my truck, I notice that my front left tire was flat. My first thought was, how am I going to move this big truck to a gas station to put in air. Then I thought, oh, I should put on the spare. I think my mind was running slow. I have yet to need to use the spare on my truck, and I didn't have time. I thought of missing class, but due to my absences, I couldn't miss class. Fed was gone already, so I didn't know what I could do. Luckily, I ran into a classmate who gave me a ride. I am a very lucky guy. I got a ride home from another friend.

So I am getting ready to embark upon my 4th spring break. I fly out on Weds and get back Saturday night. I have sent Terri my list of groceries I will need, including but not limited to my orange juice and my special brand of ice cream. I am not happy that it is going to be raining every single day I am there, so you add that to the cold and this should make for a fun time. I am going to be very happy to see her again.

My basketball bracket is all busted up. I am in last place and am doing the worst I have done in 3 years of playing. I haven't been watching the tournament as much as I have in the past.

same background, different experience

Yellow and Blue make Green

But since you been gone

I can breathe for the first time

I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah

Thanks to you, now I get what I want

Since you been gone
- Kelly Clarkson Since U Been Gone

I can not get that Kelly Clarkson song out of my mind. Maybe because they play it 2 times a day at the gym while I am there, but it is really addictive. I like the way it makes me feel. What bothers me is that I don't like Kelly Clarkson much. I mean, I am impressed that they got her a trainer and made her hot and all, but she seemed like an average girl who could sing, but nothing special. Whomever wrote this song, knows how to write music well.

Juan Carlos is in town. He came down from NY and I hope to make up for Herbert's less than stellar trip by making Juan's time amazing. I have never gone out so much in my life. I hope to take him out every night he is here. I am lucky that his first night will be St. Patrick's Day, so we are going to Ft. Lauderdale where I am told they close off the streets and have a celebration. Terri will be quick to point out that it is not Boston, but not having know the fun of a Boston St. Patrick's Day/Week/Month, this should probably be the biggest celebration I have seen.

Today everyone is wearing green, all types of shade, yet I haven't really seen too much pinching going on. I am wearing yellow and blue, but yeah, nobody cares. I guess I don't care what other people are wearing either. How did beads become parts of St. Patrick's Day?

So took him down to downtown Ft. Lauderdale for St. Patrick's Day on Thursday. I have never seen so many girls wearing green in my life. Due to the rain, it took a while to pick up, but when it did, Juan had one of the best nights ever. We pretty much bar hopped among all the Spring Breakers. I am so glad I discovered this strip of bars because it is a lot more my style than South Beach. Fed went out with us and liked it so much, he went back the following night.

A good compliment I got from Juan, was that I as different and happier. Nothing like a little validation to make you feel good about feeling good. I guess I feel more relaxed and laid back now that I'm not burdened with so much stress. Juan also seemed to be in good spirits and I was impressed with his dedication to running.

Last time I casually mentioned my acceptance as a law clerk for an internship in Texas. Let me tell you now how excited I am. It feels great to have an understanding of where I am going to be and what I am going to be doing. I am very happy for the help and recommendation I got and hope to do a good job. My job next summer is going to be a big deal, so I'm going to have to really start looking early for that one because I want to make sure I find something that will help me decide what I want to do after I graduate.

I am now done with that motion for summary judgment I had talked about so much. Talk about a pain, but hopefully I did well. I worked with Ralph on it, which really helped a lot because I think had I had to do it on my own, it would have been much much harder, I would have worked for less time on it though. Now it is time to get back to law school. One thing I noticed was hard working people studying for class each day. It made me rethink my approach and study habits. I know I'll stick to my usual routine, but it never hurts to work a bit harder.

Right now my room is a mess. I tore my room apart to find an old phone before I got this new one. I have been so busy, I haven't had a chance to clean it up. My plan is to take some time soon and clean it up. I hate having a mess. I have having a conversation with a friend about the difference between messy and dirty. I can be messy, but I'm not dirty...it sucks when a person is dirty, doesn't make for a good roommate I think. Luckily, I make an effort to not be messy and actually enjoy things being clean.


So they kicked my girl off the OC, moving her to Chicago. (illegitimate daughter girl) Nobody liked her but me, which makes me happy because it means that my interests are unique. I saw that she is going to be on some shark attack movie on CBS. Ok, I know she could have picked something better, but at least she is still getting tv time. I watched it only for a bit, but her character didn't impress me much.

We get some time off for Easter, so I decided to go and visit a friend for her birthday. This should be a great trip. I am looking forward to it, despite that it is going to be cold, something I have made a point to stay away from, but I think this will be worth it. I will probably take some school books with me, but I'm sure I won't touch them. I hope to take the experience for what it is, not what I wish it to be or what it could be. I don't know if this will make the week go by faster or slower due to the anticipation.

When Julia was here, I met up with her for lunch. She was staying at her grandmother's in Boca Raton. The name of the community was called broken sound. That is a really cool name, I should start a band called broken sound. I enjoyed seeing first hand a closed gate community. I hope to own a home in Boca when I retire. It seems like a relaxing life, though very closed off from the outside world.

Feds bowls came in. The bowls he purchased for the one he broke of mine. Well I am glad that I found my bowl because his bowls were not bowls, but saucers. They were small and useless, probably made for dips, which is funny because it really makes you think about perspective when looking at webpage pictures. We will find some use for them though.

Math, it is really simple. If you put 10 marbles in a jar and one is red and 9 are black, your odds of pulling a red marble is 1 in 10. This means that if I were to make you a bet, I would say that if you pulled the red marble I'd give you 10 bucks, but if you pulled a black one you give me 1 buck. The is how odds and betting odds work. So I offered Jenny 5 dollars if Texas beats IL in the NCAA tournament, but if they lost, she had to pay me 20 dollars. The odds of beating IL are like 100 to 1, so it was a bad bet on my part, but nobody ever wants to make a bet where they can lose more than they can win. Hence no bet. Instead I joined a bracket tournament with Fed for 10 bucks. I didn't play with my heart like I have in the past, so I have some of my favorite teams going out early. I'll actually admit that I have IL winning the whole thing, even though most of the experts don't have them winning. I miss being at work where the pot is huge, since I'm sure Fed's tournament is going to be somewhat small. (Update: Texas didn't even get to play IL.)

Stay away from negativity, negative people and negative situations is my advice. That shit just seeps into your life and starts to poison your world. What sucks is when someone is positive, yet they choose to be negative around you, maybe they don't like you, maybe you make them angry or resentful. I guess though they may be good, you should keep your distance too. Another problem I have is people I can't help but be negative around. There are few people that fall into that category, but whenever I'm around them, I am very hard on them, expect too much from them and then to give off a disapproving feeling. I tell myself to stop it, but I don't know I am doing it and don't do it on purpose. So all I can do is do them a favor and stay away from them because I won't be able to add anything to their life.

tell me something sweet

Abercrombie Shirt

I missed the good part then I realised

I started looking and the bubble burst

I started looking for excuses.

I've got to tell you what a state I'm in..

I've got to tell you in my loudest tones

That I started looking for a warning sign

When the truth is

I miss you.

- Warning Sign

I can tell you a lot about a girl and her personality by the way her eye brows look. You can see a lot, their insecurities, their vanity, their friendliness, their confidence level, and even their sense for fashion. If you know a person for a while and you see how they change over time, you can see how they mature as a person too, or in some cases make bad decisions and go ways that weren't best for them. If they don't change, you then they probably didn't change much either, maybe they were scared to. If you are a girl, here is my personal advice. Too small is never good...but of course bushy isn't attractive either. Go to an expensive professional, get them done correctly and then follow their lines from here on out, instead of just trying to figure it out on your own. People see your face first and eye brows are an important part of that.

I had to make my decision on the phone situation today. I was ready to change to Sprint and join the countless other people I know who have Sprint. I walked into the store and picked a phone I liked. There was a Samsung that I liked, but it had no speakerphone, and a Sanyo I thought was cool, and was about to buy. Then I went outside, sat down and thought about it more. As I looked at the phone I was going to buy vs. the phone I just bought, the only benefit this other phone had was that it had a flash on the camera. I really like my Motorola. Then I thought about the benefits of getting Sprint. Main benefit, a lot of people I know have it and my calls to them would be free. But was the issue really about minutes, I mean I do have enough minutes on Cingular. It isn't service, cause I'm happy with service and now that money is knocked out, it is just about vanity. Change for the sake of change isn't good and there wasn't enough reason for me to try a new company out. I'll be an individual and have my own unique plan different from everyone else. So another one year contract with Cingular.


Nobody cares about your success, but you. I know this sounds really cynical and bad natured, but if you really think about it, this is really your responsiblity and not other peoples. I know people whose success and happiness mean a lot to me, and I would do what I could to help them out, but having people like that is rare and they should be counted on secondarily and not foremost, because your success is yours. I learned young when I came home with my perfect grades, being disappointed that my parents were not excited enough. They offered me no rewards and their praise was similar to those of my siblings who had far lower grades. I used to resent that and keep lists of $5 for every A so that one day I could pull the list out one day and collect a windfall. No windfall came. I think I've run into this problem with getting in shape and going to school. I start to get excited as I am dropping weight and getting stronger, and then I notice that nobody really cares. (by cares I mean by longer than the second that I get a compliment). At first I found this discouraging, not understanding how my friends could careless that I am pursing all my goals and making all kinds of progress towards them. Then it really hit me, I need to be responsible for myself and stop being dependant on the thoughts and feedback of the people around me because they are all off doing their own things to make them happy. So I could just stop everything I am doing in life and lay down and do nothing and nobody is going to come to the rescue.

I have been kicked out of the library 2 times already, not like by a bouncer, but because they were closing. I've never had this problem in my life before. Today I plan to hopefully get kicked out for a 3rd time in 3 days, and hopefully with a Motion that is almost completed. I don't think I have worked this hard in a very long time. I feel like we worked too hard in some of the wrong places, but in the end I'm sure we will turn out a good product.


Saturday night I went out with Cynthia and Michele. I felt terrible because they thought I was no fun because I wasn't up for getting drunk and staying up with them to walk on the beach in the morning after going out. Usually I would be a good friend and stay out all night and make sure they had a good time, but I have this academic issue of this motion due and I had to be at school in the morning to work on it Sunday. Cynthia gave me a lot of shit for not being fun. So I get ready and show up at their hotel at 11pm. I was hoping to go out early so that I could bounce early, but guess what, they were not ready when I got there. So I chilled and hung out as they get dressed and ready. Of course I wasn't in the best mood because I knew the time I was spending there I could be at a bar or club meeting new people and having fun. We finally get out of there and don't get to the Delano until 1am. I only planned to have a drink there, but we ended up having a really good time. We met some cool people, the girls got invited to the Keys, I got some nice compliments and one woman who we asked why Miami people were so "not very nice" quickly said I looked like I was from San Antonio. I laughed telling her how cool it was that I was a stereotype, but it was a good call. I was talking to Michele outside of CVS while Cynthia talked to some guy in who pulled over his Benz to come out and talk to her. I was laughing and telling Michele that I bet CVS was a good place to meet girls. There was a group of girls inside and while I looked their way telling Michelle, one girl smiled. Usually I wouldn't go over and talk to her, but Michelle said that she had that natural look I liked, and for whatever reason I took that as enough justification to go talk to her. So I go in and talk to the girls who are on vacation. We talked about their night and where they had been and where they were from. They were all very nice, but I didn't want to use my night to hang out with friends to hit on tourists, so I said good night and went to collect Cynthia. In retrospect, I should of talked to these girls more, but all that was going through my head was "you have to be up at 8am, you have to be up at 8am." Then we run into two girls from Mexico. I think I'm liking this talking to more people thing. They were on their way to Mangos, but were not worth going all the way to that club. I would have gotten into more conversation, but when they asked if we knew spanish, Cynthia said yes, and her spanish is probably as good as mine, so once the language changed, I didn't feel like talking as much. We get to Mint and guess what, Michelle doesn't like the music, so she wants to go to Mangos. Seriously, there is one club I learning not to like and that is it, but instead we decide to go to Crobar. We finally get there at 2:30am and before I pay the cover, I tell the girls I was going to leave. Cynthia gives me the guilt trip of how she is never in Miami and what a terrible friend I was and I took it trying my hardest not to tell her off and tell her how if we would have gone out at 11pm we could of had more time to hang out and since they spent all their time getting dressed, they were the ones to blame. But I kept it in, because I honestly did want her to have a good time. I left and stopped by a bar had a quick drink and some conversation and then drove home to catch some sleep. Another funny moment was when I was asking the girls about guys with awesome cars and they told me cars didn't matter, but during that conversation, a group of greasy guys in a kick ass car call some girls over and they were all over them. Maybe I just don't understand.

isn't getting what you want grand, saves you from what you want to avoid by having it now.

Back to the Real World

"No good deed goes unpunished." - Clare Boothe Luce

Frank and Fed both know spanish very well, but neither knew how to say "best man" in spanish. So I started asking around trying to find out the correct translation (not just literal). I talked to so many spanish speakers and nobody knew. So if you know, help me out. You can use my message board.

There is something new I have been thinking about, my life purpose. It is a big term, so I'm not just gonna pick anything to label it. I am trying to put it into words. Here are things I am ruling out. Being successful and rich...that will just happen and money will come with, but that really isn't a purpose, but a means of fulfillment. Being happy...that is not a purpose but a state. Then we have the helping other people bullshit that seems to be everyone's life purpose. I used to think it was mine, and I do plan to help other people from my family to my ultimate goal of immigrants, but everyone's life purpose is to help other people and I just can't see that as my own unique life purpose, maybe a component. Then you have the spiritual life purpose of making God happy, but that too is too general and should be done as well by living a good life with a good life purpose. So I think I can't think of a good life purpose because one, I haven't heard of any good ones yet, and two, I am thinking too large and abstract. As I try to find mine, give me ideas of ones you have heard, or what yours are. I won't attack them or tell you they are bad, but I think if I can hear a good specific one, I will be able to more clearly define mine. What if I get it and then die the next day? No matter what it is, I think I am pursuing it right now, I just don't have it clearly defined where I can explain it well. Now talking about goals, which for me is much different, those I am still working on and learning more about. I do enjoy the structure of setting goals, but I still think I'm too scared to make clear definite ones for the future in that I like the leeway of going where life's opportunities take me, though I think they are not exclusive, so maybe that is just an excuse.


In class on Wednesday, I was watching a girl type and she was very fast. I am a decent fast typist, but I don't think that all my practice has helped me get faster. I type everyday, for class notes, online chatting, writing these entries, but yet I don't feel that each day my typing improves. I remember how in the 7th grade when we learned to type, Rick was freaking fast. I've always been content with my speed, but I'm thinking, I'm going to start putting some time into my typing skills so that I could make less mistakes (backspace I don't even notice anymore) and a bit on my spelling skills. Woah, spelling, maybe I'll work on that...ok I'm gonna put that off, but I'm gonna add it to my list for later. I think since I type so much, typing faster and better would actually help me be more productive.

It is interesting how a day can go from amazing to downright crappy. I wake up early Thursday morning and decide to skip class. Instead I go to pick Terri up from her cruise. She came back with some great stories and it had inspired me to go on a cruise before I leave Miami. She had a great time, got a nice tan and got me a carved wooden cat from one of the places she visited. It was very thoughtful of her and now I am starting a collection because Herbert got me one from Mexico. Seriously dude, I'm collecting cats now...well it is better than collecting live ones. We had lunch, spent some time together and I dropped her off in Ft. Lauderdale to catch her flight to the oh so warm DC. As I drove away, I decided since I was in the area, to go to Hard Rock and play a round of poker. I had this feeling that I couldn't lose. Well I lost, and quick.

Then Julia canceled on me for Friday, but we made alternative plans. Cynthia and Michelle arrived from Texas, so I met up with them and took them out. Cynthia wanted to go to Mangos, a place she had seen on a prior visit. The place was laid back, but not worth the 20 bucks which kept me there. Then the night starts to get fun when some dominican guy Cynthia was dancing with comes up to her while we are talking and maybe we were arguing or something, but this guy starts yelling at me and picking a fight. He asks me in spanish what my deal with her is. He was a big guy, with a strong crew who could all probably kick my ass, but fuck them, I told him that I didn't know what his problem was. Well as he looked like he was going to start bashing my ass, the bouncer came in and broke shit up. Thanks Cynthia for almost getting my ass kicked. Then later I dance, and somehow my cell phone must of fallen out. So I lose my cell phone. I do all the usually things, lost and found, retrace etc, but nothing. It is gone. Honestly I could care less about the phone, but man there were some important numbers in there that are going to be hard to get plus some pictures in there that meant a lot to me. So my day went from great to losing more money than I care to mention, almost getting my ass kicked and losing my connection to the world. Did I mention I missed my workout too? This should be a good test of my positive outlook on life. Note: IF WE TALK ON THE PHONE, EMAIL ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE IT. For those of you that lucked out and I no longer have your number, well this works out perfectly for you. :) PS Young and attractive girls feel free to send me your numbers too.

Let me tell you how I turned around my day. I slept in. Usually this would be a bad thing, but I was sleep deprived from many short nights of sleep and figured I'd just catch up. I woke up, went to Cingular and got me a brand new phone, one that perfectly fit me. I found out my contract was running out, so I can switch companies, but I only have 3 days to decide. I was thinking about Spirit, but I don't know if there is a phone there I would like, I really like Motorola. So if you have any advice on that, give it to me quick.

Then I talked to my sister Ana and found out my brother got more money than he had originally planned on from his tax return, so that made me feel good. I talked to Julia and we rescheduled to meet up for lunch tomorrow, so that was good. I checked my email and guess what? I got accepted for the internship in Texas for the summer. Now my summer plans are set, how sweet is that. I started working on my summary motion project which is due Tuesday and will take most of my weekend. I am ending the day feeling much better than I did last night.

creative avoidance

In Her Eyes

"Man is made or unmade by himself; in the armory of thought he forges the weapons by which he destroys himself; he also fashions the tools with which he builds for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peace. By the right choice and true application of thought, man ascends to the Divine Perfection; by the abuse and wrong application of thought, he descends below the level of the beast. Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and master." - James Allen

Cable is free in my apartment, but I pay extra just so that I can have HBO. I don't really watch the movies on HBO, but I am a fan of their original series. Sunday, the new season of Deadwood started. This is a great show and I hope it only gets better. Right after, there is Carnivale, another show I really enjoy, which gives me two hours of viewing enjoyment. If you don't watch these shows, you should. I would love to write for a show like that, well write an even better show than that. There are a lot of permutations of sex and violence that can go into a story. Fed's classmate is an extra on Deadwood, but I have yet to really talk to the guy about the show, and i'm sure he is tired of talking about it. I just met him the other day, but I haven't seen him on the show.

Monday morning I was in the gym and I ran into a classmate who told me we had class at 10:15 instead of 10:45am. That saved me some embarrassment, but cut my workout short. I had to go finish it up later in the day. I barely made it to class, and found out that Wednesday I have class at 10am, something I didn't know either. You miss one class and you can miss some important things. It feels good to get back in the swing of things academically, but I'm going to have to cut back on all my audio book learning and start putting that time towards school again.

After class, a classmate came up to me and told me not to forget to sign in. That was really nice and thoughtful of her because I had completely forgot. One problem I have with my contracts professor is that she asks questions where she expects you to finish her sentence. Hence she is looking for one specific word, not an answer, and sometimes trying to read her mind and pick that word is harder than knowing that answer to the general question. The fishing for words technique I don't think helps me learn well.

This weekend, my friend Cynthia from Texas gave me a call. I hadn't talked to her in a while. She is coming to Miami with some friends on Thursday for her Spring Break. I am planning to take her out and hopefully some other friends that night. Juan comes in the following week, so I'm really extending this Spring break thing out.

I was thinking about times in my life I have rationally or irrationally dealt with fear for my person or safety. There are probably a few other times I can't remember, but three that come to mind are first, when I was in high school leaving a girl's house and driving fast on a dirt road and losing control. The road had cement walls on either side and as my car fishtailed, had I hit a wall I would have wreaked my car and probably really be very hurt. I was lucky and gained control and only crashed into a ditch. Then there was my trip to the Bronx in college to help Juan move. I won't get into the story since I've detailed it here before, but there were some bad people there who were dangerous and Juan's uncle protected us as we went in and later the cops helped us get out. Another time, which was somewhat irrational fear, was one night while I was asleep and I heard loud knocks and thumps on my apartment door in the middle of the night. The girl I was with woke me up and I was honestly scared nothing understanding what was happening. As the sounds got louder, I went to the door to find out what the problem was. When I finally opened the door ready to deal with some sort of danger, I noticed that the person was no longer there, but saw that the girl's keys were still in the door lock. It was actually a good neighbor trying to help keep us from being in a dangerous situation where a bad person could just come in due to the keys and the bad things those people do. I've thought about that experience a bit and thinking back, I wonder if I would have acted differently had I been alone. At that moment it seemed more important to protect her than worry about myself. I think it is easier to be brave in protecting another person rather than when you are just protecting yourself.

Since I have been listening to a lot of books lately, I decided to start doing book recommendations here. I'm gonna start with a lot of books to catch you up, but I plan to do a new book every now and then as I finish them up. If any of these interest you, let me know since I have the audio version I could send you. I'll keep sharing my recommendations here. I recommend Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer, 101 Ways to Transform your Life by Wayne Dyer, How to Win Friends by Dale Carnegie, The Alchemist, Eat that Frog by Brian Tracy, and Tony Robbins - Personal Power.

Monday night, I went to see Milliondollar Baby with Justine. I honestly hadn't heard too much about the movie before the Academy awards talk. After it won all those awards, I decided to find out what all the hoopla was about. The movie was indeed great and deserved the awards it got. It made Justine cry considering the movie was really moving. I honestly thought it would be about some boxing comeback or something, which made me happy that the movie didn't go the easy route and instead was unique and well thought out. I also like how it ended in such an open ended type of way and not really definite, which is what you are used to getting. The movie reminded me of my goal to start to learn to box again, but with all the goals I got going, I don't yet have time to pick this up, but once I get some of my other goals out of the way, I hope to join a boxing gym. I could never compete due to my contacts and sight, but I'd still love to train nevertheless.

"I was gonna say" that I hate when people say "I was gonna say." I do it too, so don't feel bad because I know you say it. People say it a lot in class, especially when the question they were about to ask was just brought up right before they were called on. They start with that so that people won't think they are being redundant, but they are being redundant and even though they spent a few minutes perfecting their statement in their head and they want to get it out, they really shouldn't cause it no longer has a purpose. So, if you are gonna say something, just say it.

On my way home from the gym yesterday, I ran into this stray black cat. She let me walk up to her and pet her. She was loving it and I felt bad because she was so skinny. After our petting session, she followed me home. So I took her upstairs to my 4th floor apartment and gave her some cat food. The sound of the bag brought Koki and Mia running. The black cat, humm let me name her, Tiff, ate like no other. So Koki gets upset and starts to hiss and like Fed said, she was probably thinking, 'man, not another cat, won't this guy just stop getting more cats.' Mia is all about about being friends with all the animals and went up to Tiff to be friends, but Tiff wasn't too nice to her and just hissed her away. This cat was exactly like the type of cat Terri says I would want, one that is real loving and that loves and wants attention. Neither Koki nor Mia are like that. After she ate, I had to take her back out into the wild/alley, so I tried to hold her again, but due to the food she got upset and started hissing at me. Who said cats are not like girls. I can handle upset cats, but I didn't want to risk the rabies thing so I put her in a carrying crate and took her out with some more food. I set her free and put the food there for her outside. Unfortunately, another mean alley cat, well name him Bush, a cat I don't really like, came and stole her food. She had eaten well inside though, so she went about her way. I am proud of myself for not increasing my load, I mean there is only so much of me to go around.

My classmate Jenny from class told me today that she had read my page. I think it is cool when new people find my page, and knowing they might read this also insures that I won't talk too much smack about them. You should of seen the fun she had in class discussing the important legal principles of "mink v. minkS." I hope it is on the final.

Here is something about me that I was thinking about last night as I was sprawled out on my bed. When I share a bed with a girl, and it is finally time to go to sleep, I can't fall asleep holding her. I don't know why exactly, but I just can't fall asleep like that, even if I feel very comfortable. There have been rare times I have fallen asleep that way, but usually I'd rather rollover and just fall asleep on my own. It is nice having her there close, but not where I don't feel the freedom to toss and turn. Some girls are cool with that and might even be the same way, while others sometimes get offended or upset. Because I only know myself, I don't know if this is a normal thing or if I am unique in this. I also can't sleep well in beds that are not my own, but it must be a mental thing because I can sleep fine on my couch. Maybe I just haven't met the girl that fits perfectly and maybe it's just a way of waiting for a good fit.

once I did bad, that I heard ever....twice I did good, that I heard never.

Well Needed Rest

"So what we had meant nothing?

No, it meant everything to me THEN." - OC

Wow this Spring Break is going by fast. I definitely needed the break, but I am not getting any real work done. I hope I can get back into the law school mindset soon. Terri from DC is going on a cruise out of Miami, so she came a few days early to hang out. It was nice seeing her again. Of course with her luck, it was cold and rainy while she was here, though I'm sure that things will be a sunnier once she is on the cruise. This girl is anything but simple, but knowing her is fun. You have to remember how smart she is and hence you can't get much past her. She is the type of person that reads a lot, yet doesn't talk about it, works hard on her academics, yet from the outside you might not guess it. We had this conversation about putting things off, and I found it interesting that unlike most people, she didn't put off her papers or assignments off until the last moment. It just wasn't an option for her. You can learn something from everyone.

We went to Ft. Lauderdale on Thursday and had lunch there, though the plan was to go to the beach, that was nixed due to the weather. I took her to Aventura mall to get a book for her cruise, and for her to tell me if she considered it to be better than Tysons Corner in DC. She didn't confirm my stance and said that it did have very good stores, so it might actually be better. I still like Tysons better, but I guess a girl's view and a guys view could be different since I don't care for the girl stores as much. That night we went out to Coconut Grove. It was my first time there, but other than the rain, we had a good time at Oxygen. One thing we noticed, myself included, was that all the guys looked the same. The dress, the hair, the way they acted. Then again, I could say that all the girls act the same, so I guess that is why all clubs seem similar.

Friday, we went to south beach during the day, had lunch at Cafe News and went for a walk on the beach and the surrounding area. It was starting to warm up, but there was still a cold breeze that made it impossible to layout on the beach, tan and read. I lost my parking ticket, and had to pay the 24 hour price, which sucked. The worst part was that I noticed I lost it before I got out of my truck, so I knew it was in there somewhere. For the life of me, I could not find it, but of course the next day I find it in a small pocket on my shorts that I didn't know existed. At night, we went to Opium at south beach. It was a nice outdoor club. I saw this one girl making out with a guy who kept saying things like, "So you don't speak English? Well welcome to America." I liked the place, but I guess what matters most at places is your company.

Saturday, I dropped Terri off for her cruise and got to quickly meet her roommate Andrea. I didn't know Miami had this big port for all the cruise ships, kind of like an airport. It wasn't too hard to find, but I found a way to find a few routes that didn't work. Man those boats are big. I hope to go on a cruise sometime before I leave Miami.

Wednesday, I was getting my car washed so I went to a local cafe to have lunch while I waited. I went to the bar and had a water and a salad, which seemed kind of weird, but I was trying to be good. The place reminded me Cheers. Everyone knew Jack the bartender and there were all these men that seemed to know each other for years just talking about the usual stuff. When I came in, they were trying to figure out what the 7 wonders of the world were. Do you know what they are? I don't think many people do. It was a good time and a glimpse of watching these people interact and joke around. They were all nice to me, but I observed more than interacted.

Tuesday night, I saw the movie Man of the House with my friend Diana. It is that Tommy Lee Jones cheerleading movie, one that I would usually not pay to see, nor probably even rent. I understand why it got such bad reviews, but at least all the Austin references made the movie palatable. I wonder if they filmed it there, for some reason I feel they didn't. Diana is another one of my friends who knows Spanish well, but it never seems to matter in helping me learn more from them because we communicate in English. She says she is not a big cat person, but I think people that say that haven't ever had a cat.

I purchased a fishing rod with a hanging mouse type of toy for Koki a long time ago. At first she didn't much enjoy playing with it, but over time it has become her favorite toy. Because of her enjoyment, I would tie the rod to something and let her play so that I could take a break. The elastic string would always break and I would find the mouse hidden and would have to retie it. I couldn't understand why it would keep breaking since it was pretty damn strong, but I figured all of Koki's pulling took its toll. Then one day, I noticed Koki playing with it and her goal was to get the mouse. So after batting it around for a while, she would then grab the mouse in her paws pull the rope and then start to bite on the rope until it broke and she cool take the trophy mouse with her wherever she wanted. So the string wasn't breaking, she was tearing it. I was impressed with her problem solving skills, but a bit proud too. Things aren't always what they look like.

It is hard to be self observant, and since people don't usually come right out and tell you what your annoying habits or actions are, sometimes you consider things normal and they are actually might be something that if you changed would make you more enjoyable to be around. Something I have noticed is that I am very argumentative. I don't have too much of a problem with this because, well I am on my way to becoming a lawyer, but I think the how and when I do it I should be more careful about. I think I argue with people too much, even when I have something positive to say, I still say it in a way that comes off as arguing against them and probably makes the person more annoyed with me than caring about any positive thing I was trying to say. I can think of a few times I have done that recently and regret, but am at the same time glad it happened so that I could begin to notice how I behave. It is hard to be understanding when you think or know you are right, but there are more important things than just going around trying to be right all the time or show people how wrong they are. So call my ass on this shit people, I need your help.

Saturday night, was Frank's friend's bachelor party. They had an interesting day planned, but I decided to meet up with them later. I went over to the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino to meet up with them and play some poker. This casino only has slots and poker, which is kind of a blessing because I don't enjoy slots and the games other than poker just drain my money no matter how fun they are. I played a $135 no limit tournament. While I was waiting, I met a young guy who said that he has made thousands of dollars playing poker and how much he loves the game. He gave me pointers for about 20 mins and because he wasn't 21, he couldn't go to the bar to get a red bull, so I went and got him one as a thanks for his tips. We ended up at the same table. I made a side bet with another kid for 20 bucks to see who would get knocked out first. Well the kid I met knocked sidebet kid out and I won 20 bucks. Then I moved in with a bluff, and the kid raised me. I knew this guy was bluffing pre-flop, so I called considering I had an average hand. Well I flop a low pair and he goes all in. I knew he had me beat, but I had most of my money in, so looking at pot odds, I knew I had to call because the amount of money I could win was much more compared to my chances of winning. So I call. I was right, he did move in with a bluff, but he did, like I thought hit something good and my low pair was down to his two pair. He of course knocks me out and I get all kinds of shit for my play from the other players, but I could care less because I needed to make my move and my stack was getting low. Instead of hanging out for another tournament and try to regain my glory, I went home so I could play another day. I need to keep these lessons at a minimum because they can get expensive. In retrospect, I'm going to value my tournament life more in the future, rather than my pot odds (something I still need to get better at figuring out.)

keeping what you want is far more difficult than getting what you want.

Spiritually Repressed

"I'm alive...When I'm eating, that's all I think about. If I'm on the march, I just concentrate on marching. If I have to fight, it will be just as good a day to die as any other. Because I don't live in either my past or my future. I'm interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man. You'll see that there is life in the desert, that there are stars in the heavens, and that tribesmen fight because they are part of the human race. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living right now." ~Paulo Coelho

As much as everyone loves hearing about my adventures at the gym, I enjoy talking about them. Sunday is my day off, my cheat day. This is the first cheat day that I don't really want to have a really big fast food meal, but I know if I don't, I'll be more prone to cheat later. So Saturday I did my run and it felt good. I woke up this morning and decided that I was going to stray from my program and go run today to make up for my Pollo Tropical. Instead of my usual half hour intense cardio running, I wanted to see how I could do running longer slower. So I ran 4 miles in less than 40 mins and finished up with a cool down to 5 miles. Juan Carlos, I am ready for the Bronx four mile challenge. It felt great, and I know I shouldn't mess with a program that is working, but I'm sure it isn't gonna hurt.

I talked to my mom Monday night for a while about my plans for the next 6 months and just random things. She told me about a problem my sister Eliza was having with the car she bought. In short, she got a great deal on the car and she was told she would get 7% interest (if you ask me, it is still high). So she gets the keys, takes a picture at the dealership, takes the car home and now over a week later they call her and tell her they are going to increase her interest rate. It is true nothing has been signed, so getting a contract enforced would be hard, but honestly, if they got a lawyer, I'm sure they could get the deal enforced. Update: I talked to Eliza on Tuesday, and found out that my mom put her mind to it and got the car financed through her bank at 5.9%. I am very proud of them for making it all work out.

Tuesday, I'm cooling down on the treadmill and there is an older black lady next to me walking. She looked over and I thought maybe this would be a good time to really practice getting to know strangers. I turned to her and told her I liked her water bottle and inquired where I could get one. It had an interesting strap. Well you could tell she was wanting to have conversation because she went off on where she got it and why she liked it so much. Then she began to tell me her story, about how she had an aneurysm and became paralyzed. She showed me the scar on her head. She told me she couldn't move half of her body, but because of the Lord, she was normal again and could walk and function. She told me how now she cherishes life so much more and how happy she was to be able to walk and be on the treadmill that day. I told her she was an inspiration and that I hope I could have that type of determination, and though I wished to talk more to her because she was enjoying the company, I had already stopped the treadmill when she got into her story, so I was just standing there and not walking with her. I wished her a great day and left, happy I got to meet her. I didn't share my name or get hers, so I still need some work on my skills, but nothing is better than practice. I think all people want to talk and share, they just need someone to listen.

Sometimes you say something to someone, and when you good back on it and let the experience sink in, you feel very guilty. I've been working on being a less judgmental person, letting everyone be themselves and not trying to change them. This isn't as easy as it sounds and I think you can hurt someone with just your words.

When you change the way you look at things, you change the things you look at.