The Diploma Frame

“Love is a gift. You can't buy it, you can't find it, someone has to give it to you. Learn to be receptive of that gift.” -

Kurt Langner

Over 8 years ago I graduated from college and my family came up that spring to Ithaca, NY for my graduation. I got various presents from my family for graduating, for example a class ring from my mom, but the one present that I think about often was from my sister Veronica. She wanted to buy me a nice Cornell diploma frame for my graduation. I told her that I could really use the money instead because I was about to move and was very short on cash. She told me that as a gift, the money would be gone and soon forgotten, but that the diploma frame would be something I would always have that I could always see and think, "That gift was from my sister Veronica." She wanted to give me a gift, not a donation. I made a deal with her, she would give me the money (since at the time I thought I needed it) and that later once I got a job, I'd go back and buy the diploma frame for myself and it would still be my gift from her and I'll always look to it as, "the gift from my sister Veronica" for my graduation. She reluctantly agreed, and I intended to keep my promise.

When I moved to DC, I purchased a cheap frame from Walgreens for $8 as a stop gap solution, even got one for my then girlfriend, and figured in no time I'd have the extra cash to go back and buy the nicer one from the University. Less than a year later, my sister Veronica passed away. Frequently, I still think about how 29 was such a young age and how no matter how old I get, she will always be my older sister.

It is 8 years past from that moment at the Cornell Store, and in my office on the wall is the same cheap $8 frame I bought so many years ago in DC. I did not keep my word, but not because I don't want to have a gift that was so meaningful from my sister. Part of me felt like buying the new frame and receiving the gift was the last transaction we will ever have, the last gift she will ever give me. I had trouble coming to terms with that and wasn't ready to let go. It felt like my last chance to feel close to her. But the more I have thought about it, this is something she wanted to give me, and asked for a short forbearance of the gift, but it has been way too long. I kept thinking about the one moment I had by buying the gift, instead of all the moments I would have with actually having the gift.

So today, I got online and ordered the exact same diploma frame that she wanted to buy for me on my graduation day. It should arrive in a few weeks, but instead of making me like I was losing the last thing between us, it became clear that was gaining not only a treasured gift from my sister but also keeping a promise. She was right, the money was forgotten, and this gift, which will be always be on my office wall will forever be an item that I will cherish and as I look at it, I'll think, "that is the gift my sister Veronica bought for me." Thank you, Vero.

I keep thinking about my approaching trip to DC for Halloween weekend. This is going to be a really good time and I'm excited that so many friends are going. I wish I would make the effort to travel more, but KY, AZ and DC in the past 4 months isn't too shabby. I haven't done much planning for the Rally for Sanity, but I figure we will just show up. Plus, with so many people, I'm sure someone will have the details under control.

I enjoy baseball, but I'm not a true fan compared to a lot of people I know. I watch during the playoffs each year and when I lived in DC I would occasionally go to a game every now and then. My teams have always been the Texas Rangers and Houston Astros, but I haven't followed the Rangers closely since back in the day when Nolan Ryan pitched. The memory of one of his no-hitters is very clear in my mind. I remember those days and how much I loved baseball back then. Sadly, I've probably seen more Red Sox games than Rangers games in the last 10 years. But for now, I'm a Rangers bandwagon fan and I'm enjoying it. It also doesn't hurt that I love to hate the Yankees.

I had mentioned in a previous entry that I had gotten my mom one of those new ipod Nanos (6th gen). I would get one for myself, but I decided I wanted a 5th gen ipod Nano because it plays video and has physical buttons. I think there is a lot to be said for physical buttons. My dad told me that Toys R Us were having an ipod trade in promotion, so I took in my old ipod classic and was offered a whopping $5 for it. Considering that I can also take it into the Apple store and get 10% of an ipod, I thought I'd rather do that. But then again, I can buy an ipod from Amazon, at a small discount and with no taxes, so I'll get it even cheaper that way. I'm still left with an old ipod I don't use. I'll figure it out, since it is a lot of thinking to save a few bucks. But instead of trying to figure out how to save a few bucks, I went on Craigslist and bought a 5th gen used ipod nano at a great price, which is all I really need. I know I have an iPhone, but you can't use that when working out. Why even risk it? So far, so good.

Another random thing I purchased was 5 toed barefoot running shoes. I had seen an interview by the author of Born to Run a long time ago which peaked my interest. Then looking on Facebook I noticed that a friend of mine was wearing them in a photo so I asked her about them. She gave me a lot of helpful information. This motivated me to take the plunge and purchase a pair. I haven't tried them out yet really, so I can't talk much about them, but I have heard a lot of good things. This should be exciting.

Here is my last purchase story. On Wednesday, I purchased 3-day tickets for ACL 2011. Feels weird spending money now for an event that is going to happen September 16-18, 2011, but it is the 10 year anniversary and should be a big deal. Just think, a year from now it will feel like the tickets are free since I paid for them so long ago. For now, it sucks paying for something in the distant future. I think it will be worth it. I've had a great time every year. I'm looking forward to seeing the lineup.

holding on too tight is the same as letting go completely