Note: For those of you getting here from Google because you want instructions on how to mo-ve a t-read-mill up-stai-rs, I don't have any helpful instructions, only a story about the way not to do it. Maybe you should go here: How to put a treadmill upstairs - eHow.
I was talking to my sister Ana yesterday and she told me that she noticed I had stopped writing. Ironic how the day before I just started up again. For a person that doesn't have a lot to say, I have a lot to say.
--Here is a Long Story - If you want to skip, go down to next marker --
As I sit here in intense bodily pain, it makes me think about how I make a lot of stupid decisions and no matter how they turn out I have to live with the consequences. Well Tuesday night was right in line with my patterns. I have this thing where I like to move things around. You should ask my college roommate, I used to rearrange the room at least once a month. He was a great guy so he just let me do my thing. Maybe it is that idea that when you find the perfect setup, then everything is going to be the way you want it. Recently, I've been moving things into my new media room (Danny's old room) and constantly rearranging the computer, futon, TV and other furniture.
I get this idea, I would like to have my treadmill upstairs in that room. Now the thought of getting that heavy monstrosity up Oscar's steep flight of endless stairs has always made me pass up the idea in the past and move on to another pointless pursuit. This day I was determined. Now the smart thing would be to wait for Oscar to get home and have him help me out so that this clearly two man job may be possible. Other than my issues with impulse control, I wondered if Oscar would think it was a good idea. Also, he isn't the one that wants it upstairs, so why should I make him toil for my ideas. I get it set in my head that I am going to move the treadmill upstairs alone. I'm strong enough and if not, well smart enough to figure out a way.
Getting it inside the kitchen isn't too hard of a problem, but as I line it up with the stairs and try to figure out the best way to push (or maybe pull I think) it up, I notice I'm pretty winded. No matter, will forge ahead. I try a few different positions before I think I find one that seemed like I could make at least a little progress moving it up. So I start to push and to my dismay, it doesn't move. Laying it down on the stairs gives me like 5 stairs already up, but the bottom is still on the floor. I think, fuck it, and I just start pushing as hard as I can moving it a good 3 feet. I'm starting to understand that this is just not going to happen. But I can't quit can I?
I remember from I think Duck Tails to work smarter not harder. I get a plank of wood...I wasn't sure how I would use it, but it might be useful. Then I decide what I'm going to do is lift up the treadmill and flip the bottom over to the top of the stairs making the top part now the new bottom part. As I start to lift I notice the idea was much better than the reality but I won't let go because I have this heavy machine looming over me. I finally flip it over and feel content with myself that I am halfway up now. If it weren't for the pain I would enjoyed the progress more. Now I'll push I think, but once again pushing does nothing. It is time for another flip. As I go for the flip, the treadmill slides down a few steps with only me in the way to catch it. At this point I use my plank to keep it from crushing me by putting it at an angle stop. I finally get one last flip in with a huge burst of energy and I'm 2/3s up the stairs. Holy shit, I might actually do this I think as I start to pant and remember that my fitness is not anywhere near where it should be.
My arms are now numb and I have to use the plank again to hold the machine for a bit so that I can get some blood circulating in my arms. I think, just one more flip and I'm there. So I start to lift and find out that either I'm much weaker now or the height has made gravity much stronger. The machine then starts to slide downwards as a quick pace with only me between the bottom of the stairs and the machine. It is almost like Indiana Jones and that boulder that is chasing him. As I use all my left over strength to keep it from pushing or knocking me over and disabling me, I'm able to stop it after losing a few more steps of my previous progress. The fact that it stopped moving made me give God a quick prayer.
At this point, my thought is, wow that was a close one. What were we looking at there, a broken bone at the least, probably a broken neck, or at the least some sort of tragic stair accident. Is this really worth it? I know I'm an idiot now and there is no way I'm telling anyone about this ever! Now I think I have to get this up before Oscar gets home so that I can be like, "oh yeah, I moved it upstairs, yeah no problem at all, I'm just that awesome."
I climb over the machine and decide to pull on the machine which kind of reminds of the rowing machine you have in gyms where you are using your back and arms. I get it to move about the two to three steps I had lost earlier, but after that it just won't budge, maybe it was caught on something. I'm completely spent now, but I know the machine is wanting to find its way back down (that silly gravity.) So I get all my belts and tie them together and tie the machine to the the top of the railing. My next thought is wow if it pulled the railing off this would really suck. I spent the next 15 mins thinking of a new plan to get it up. I'm almost there, but I'm too far for brute force and too close to turn back now. The problem is that my entire body is throbbing. I'm literally drinking water out of the faucet with my hands and I'm a bottled water snob. There was this big machine in the way from me to the fridge
I'm finally sitting there at the top of the stairs, with my back laying down staring at the ceiling waiting for that epiphany as I look at a rubber hose that I think might be useful if I could just figure out a way. What would MacGyver do? The belts locked on make me feel better about not completely losing my progress. As I'm waiting to get feeling back, Oscar shows up and there I am with a machine blocking the stairs. We undo the belts and he easily helps me move it up with almost no problem at all. It was a two man job and no big deal to him. He asks me how long I had been at it and I didn't want to let him know.
I later move it into the media room, set it up and that is when the pain really starts to set in. Part of me is proud of myself and the other thinks, I'm a complete idiot, what did I have to prove? Was this just a distraction to get my mind off of things, a clear almost impossible project. Well I am paying the price right now. My upper back and neck are killing me, and the rest of my body doesn't feel too hot either. Sleeping was almost impossible. Straining yourself and working out are not the same, so I can't just claim it was some sort of workout to justify it to myself.
The moral of the story, I wanted something and no matter what cost and what it took I found a way. There was probably a more responsible and patient way to get things done, but I am the master of my own fate and no can can tell me I can't do something. (Even though I recognize I couldn't finish the project without Oscar's help.) And that was my adventure. Next time, a long drawn out version of Marty throwing out the trash.
-- Told ya it was long. --
All of my watches are out of battery. I have been going a while with no watch and even though I now feel used to it and feel less naked, I decided to take them in and get them changed. I hope to just pull out the side thingy and not let the others drain as I wear the ones I want for the mean time. It will be a very long time until I'll get that Rolex I hear such good things about. (To be able to say, my seconds are more precise than your seconds.) One day right, with all those other materialistic things.
Thinking, talking, no action. Thinking no action. Thinking, talking, action, no follow through. No Thinking. I live way too much inside my head, but the aforementioned are processes I'm trying to change to "Thinking, Action, Follow Through." (Maybe Talking if I need some insight or advice.) This applies to so many different parts of my life.
I think I like to read blogs because sometimes you identify with what someone is experiencing. Here is an entry I read that I just really understood from Texas in the City. Ouch that Stung a Little.
So 9iu11ani is now dropping out of the race. I'm glad to see that, but it seems like Republicans have a rock and a hard place to choose from (in their twisted ideological minds.) It it weird, I'm supporting the war monger over the other pro-war conservative rich guy (oh and Huckabee is in too.) I don't know, but I still respect McCain despite how completely wrong he is about the war. But any Democrat over him I'd vote for. Just think, imagine Romney vs. Obama and those evangelical Christians having to choose between a Mormon and a Christian more like them. Would they really be able to be open minded enough to go with the Mormon (who I think actually has more in common with their belief system than a reasonable Christian such as Obama.) That is what they get for using a religious test for president. Last time they all voted for Bush and what did he get them?
My boy Edwards is also out of the race. I guess I need to make my pick between Obama and Clinton. His endorsement will play a big role for me. I would pick Obama in a second if he said he would pick Clinton as vice and I'd pick Clinton if she would pick Obama as vice. You know what, I think I'm going with Obama and hopefully he will pick Edwards or Clinton as vice. We'll see how Super Tuesday works out. This is a can't lose sitution as far as having a candidate I'm going to be happy with. Now if they can only find a way not to throw it away in November.
forgiving a person who doesn't want your forgiveness won't put things the way they used to be
Marty, I could not stop laughing at your entry. My staff came to see what was so funny cuz I was laughing so loud. You are a great writer you know that. Glad to see your blog up again, it was missed.
ReplyDeleteChow...lots of love... Ana