Clever Ending

“Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.” - Epicurus

You ever wake up from your sleepy daze while in your early morning shower and have the realization, I'm going to die? Not like at that very moment, but at some point. It is one of those thoughts, like the thought that God might not exist, that you feel guilty for having so you quickly change your thoughts to something more appropriate, knowing that it is something you have never truly let yourself think out of fear of what you would discover. The first part is scary because you think about how today could be the day that you cease to exist. You don't feel too guilty for having this morbid thought because you don't usually think things like this, so you feel the license to indulge the process for a bit more. Then your mind quickly jumps past the heavy weight that is your mortality and thinks about the how. Will it hurt? I hope it doesn't hurt, but we have all held our breath and that hurts. At what point does it stop hurting? You quickly convince yourself the odds are low that this is your day and that hopefully you'll live until a ripe old age. But you know you can't out live death even if you can delay it -- and once again it might be years down the road --but you are back at the question of how, and if it will hurt. You shake out those thoughts as your dry off from the shower and try to go back to the blissful denial of the inevitable. I guess I'll just do what I have done my whole life and live like I have all the time in the world, like I'm indestructible, like I'm part of a story that is guaranteed with a clever ending and a spectacular twist.

if you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to.