Lone Wolf

"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory." - Unknown

I wish I had Wednesday, Veteran's Day, off like government employees do. Anyway, today is one of those days where I feel like writing, but I don't really have anything pressing to say. Anything I've had to say, I think I've done my best to say in the normal course of events. I guess a lot has been going through my mind as of late, but nothing relevant or pressing. Nevertheless, I figured putting pen to paper would help me shake out the cobwebs.

Saturday night, Abram and I went to a comedy club to see Joe Rogan perform. I think he is a pretty cool guy and a good stand up comic. Cynthia and I saw him a year or two ago here in Austin and I enjoyed the show very much then. I was still feeling sick from my cold, but I was still able to make it out and have a few drinks. We got pretty cool seats near the front. It was his last show in Austin and I wondered if he would go all out on his last show or be burned out by then. I hear Thursday night was an awesome show where he went 2 hours 45 mins. (source: twitter). I had a great time and laughed a lot. After the show, Abram and I hung around to meet him. We shook his hand and I got a picture of Abram and him on my iPhone. It was a cool experience. Rogan is definitely a jack of all trades and I'm always amazed with his MMA knowledge. He is an asset to the UFC and is the source of most of what I have learned watching over the years.

How I Met Your Mother's episode, "The Rough Patch," this week was awesome. I was kind of worried that the show had been really dropping the ball plot wise when they just spun some amazing gold. Watching Barney become a fat slob is something I'm sure many people can relate to. You have to see the episode to fully appreciate it. I think I'm going to watch that episode again. I think it would be fun to a show's writer.

A friend reminded me today that my people are dispersed. There is a lot to be said for one's social network of friends. I value my independence and my alone time, but it sucks not always having your best friends around to talk about the randomness that is life. You know, to share adventures that you bring up years later as an epic story over drinks. I have so many of those memories, but I'm not making as many of them as routinely. I think I'm lucky I have some good friends here in Austin, but I should really expand my social group.

I feel like I'm always having to stop and reevaluate things every so often. It usually comes after a triggering event that puts a mirror up to my face. You'd figure I'd have it right by now and wouldn't have to be always taking stock of things going forward. Maybe it is a good periodic exercise, instead of just blindly moving forward without considering if you are truly doing your best. The problem is that the changes I make are usually too big, or even if the correct change, are just not sustainable over the long run. I slowly slide back into my past routines and habits and find myself starting all over again, or worse, waiting to start all over again. I don't mean to sell myself short, I think as I have grown, I have become a well rounded person adapting to life's lessons. I'm just not where I want to be, though part of me thinks I should just be content. Maybe it is just a function of expecting greatness. I think it is time to stop expecting greatness and start pursing it.

If you play poker you know that if you make the mathematically correct move under the correct circumstances, that even if the final cards draw out and make you lose in a big way, that you can't really question if you make the right call. It is when you make your call and you find out that you misread things, like what you put the other person on, then you need to adjust your approach. You just have to have faith in the long run. It is easy to get discouraged when you are drawn out on, but the next hand is new and independent. Of course you have the common problem of thinking you are making the right calls, but are actually making terrible uninformed calls and are sticking to your bad choices for hope they pan out in the long run. I think that describes many players, confident in their losing ways. The other concept I always found important was looking at the bigger picture than just this individual event. A high probability move that risks everything is a great decision late in a tournament and not so great a decision early on. So every decision you make can't be viewed in a vacuum.

I think I've hidden this far enough so that most people don't get here. I have to admit that the show Glee is pretty cool. As of right now, I don't much care for the plot and really just watch the music scenes, but the plot is starting to sneak its way in and each time I watch it and I watch more and more of each episode. This was a show I was wrong about and I think I'm a great judge of shows. I still feel I shouldn't like this type of show.

I need a new adventure