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Sunday, April 18, 2010

New Truck

"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires. " - Susan B. Anthony

I've always been aware of the trend that the more that happens, the less I have to say. It is these type of time periods that I enjoy. For instance, this weekend was also an eventful one- I'll summarize. I passed up on Reggae Fest in Austin, Oyster Bake in San Antonio and even boating on the lake to take my brother Abram down to the Valley for the weekend. He was in the market for a new truck. He did his research for at least a week and we headed down on Friday for his purchase. The trip was through quite a rain storm, which made me glad he didn't go down on his bike, and despite all the water we made it there safely. Being down, also provided the opportunity to visit with my family, which is the real reason for any trip home.

On Saturday, Abram purchased a Toyota Tacoma and it is a pretty good looking truck if I might say so myself. I might be biased though because I'm a former Tacoma owner, and mine was a great truck to me. The dealership staff was great to us and the experience was relatively less stressful than I had anticipated. Here is a photo of Abram's truck.


My nieces Rebekkah and Jamie came to my mom's house for the weekend, so that gave us some good quality visiting. Unfortunately, my oldest sister Ana was in Austin for the weekend, so we didn't get to visit with her, but her trip sounded like a lot of fun. My little sister brought over my other two nieces Victoria and Celeste. It is always hard not to gush over 2 year old Celeste, but considering my stance on other people's kids, I'll spare you the proud uncle stories...for now.

While Jamie went with Abram to finalize his truck paperwork, Bekkah and I went to see Alice in Wonderland. I had been wanting to see this movie for some time, and we even sprung to see it in 3D. I enjoyed it, but I wish I had refreshed my memory on the cartoon prior to watching it. I didn't know the movie was a part 2 of sorts, not like a Malice in Wonderland, but more so a return to Wonderland. I'll put the cartoon on my netflix while the memory of the movie is on my mind. The Johnny Depp character didn't impress me as much as I thought it would.

My niece Bekkah is also graduating from high school this spring, and the family are throwing her a graduation party in May, when I'll return to the Valley again. She also has prom coming up, which is a memory I relish from my old days. I'm proud of her as she heads off to college in the fall. She still doesn't seem this old to me, but kids grow up fast.

Here is a funny story. So I'm chatting with my nieces Bekkah and Jamie about perspective and always trying to view things in a positive light rather than a negative one. The example I gave them was about driving. I told them, when a person cuts you off, instead of being mad about what just happened, be concerned for them and hope that where ever they are rushing to, that they get there quickly and safely because it might be very important or maybe even an emergency. Not 10 hours from my life lessons lecture, I'm driving back from the movies with Bekkah and a guy cuts me off in the parking lot. Automatically I yell out profanities at this man who has no regard for safety and consideration. As I finish my verbal reaction, Bekkah turns to me and says, "But Tio, maybe he has somewhere very important to go, shouldn't we be hoping that he gets there quickly." I was so proud and so embarrassed for my immediate hypocrisy. In my defense, I'm usually very forgiving and patient on the roads and it takes a lot to upset me, but at this moment, I was not my best. Also, this guy cut off another person before us, and we tailed them slowly as we witnessed a road rage fight in front of us, cutting each other off and yelling out of windows. I'm glad they finally parted ways.

Saturday night, I took some time away from my family to visit with friends. I had drinks with my friends Claudia and Rick, whom I have known since the 2nd grade. Claudia lives in Miami right now and it was very cool that we both happened to be in the Valley on the same weekend. Claudia has a great blog that I follow, which I recommend. It was like picking up where we left off and we had some great conversations about life, and relationships. I also hung out with Abram and his friend Elaine, who ended up getting the night off, so she was able to spend more time out.

My favorite tv stereotype story is the child of the divorced parents who believes that his parents divorce was all of his fault and has to be continually reassured. I always grew up thinking that those kids must be really dense and self-centered to believe this. Ironically enough, though I never took it seriously, my father once told me my parents got divorced because of me--so that I could go to college. You know, now I was the son of a single parent father who didn't make a lot of money and thus I'd qualify for a bit more help. -- I'll interject here with the point that I have great and very loving and great parents and this story is more about my journey than theirs, which, of course, I will never fully comprehend. -- I always saw the story as a pre-text to save face, an unfunny joke if you will. My parents get along and never remarried after being divorced, but growing up, especially in my teens, I always thought they would be much happier if they parted ways. For me it was just a coincidence that the actual divorce came when I was graduating high school, but in my opinion it was inevitable. Now, over a decade later, I was having dinner with my family and I made a joke about being told that I was the reason for a divorce and how it contrasted to that tv stereotype. I was assured this was not the case, but I also found out my point of view was merely that, mine, and that others saw it much differently. One sibling said, "wasn't that the case?" Then my mother told me about a moment at my college graduation when my older sister said with true emotion, "Look at the sacrifice that dad has to go through for him to be here today, even losing his marriage." She must have truly believed that. I even went as far as to ask my little sister why she thought my parents got divorced and she said, "so you could go to college." I won't even get into how logically this makes no sense, because a sham divorce would have sufficed if this were the case and that was not the case. So I was confronted for the first time with the question, wait, was this my fault? Then common sense kicks back in and I know that I wasn't, but my situation provided an excuse to let go and to move on (to whatever extent). What made the bigger impact was that, to some degree, even if not fully, I had family members that somewhat believed this...they were like characters in that after-school special. I may be where I am at due to extraordinary sacrifices made by my parents and family, supporting me in whatever I ventured toward, but this one sacrifice I'm confident was not on my account. I would hate to think my father really ever believed this, but if it gives him some sort of comfort that he martyred himself for my benefit in this respect, I'll accept that. Sometimes you can only see a sliver of the world, from only one viewpoint and all I have is that sliver, even know, but I do wonder what the real picture completely looks like.

perhaps

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