Our Coquito - Get Well Soon

"The power of love to change bodies is legendary, built into folklore, common sense, and everyday experience. Throughout history, 'tender loving care' has uniformly been recognized as a valuable element in healing." -Larry Dossey

I found out last week that my dear friend Maria Morales from LA was in the hospital ill. I'm told she has Adult Respiratory Distress Syndrome (ARDS) which is caused by a variety of things, but essentially means her lungs are swollen and irritated and she has an infection and add to that her battle with cancer. It was scary news and it was just a few months ago that Maria and I were talking about how things were going and she sounded great.


Here is a somewhat recent picture of Maria and her boyfriend Clay.




I found out from her sister Fatima about the hospitalization and she has been so kind as to give us periodic updates on Maria's status. Fatima said in one of her updates, "My mom and family and I know my sister is strong and feisty and loves life too much to give up. We are praying for the best and believe she will beat this." That gave me a lot of hope.


Words cannot express the world I think of Maria. I've been pretty open about this with whoever I talk to. She is one of those people who are genuinely happy and with that optimistic glow around her that draws you to her. I met Maria in college, probably on one of the first days I was there. She was part of our group and the memories and stories we have together span over 4 years. After college, I feel like Maria and I became even better friends keeping in touch via blog and on phone calls that would go for many hours. We just get along and she is willing to go down the rabbit holes and talk about the mundane and deep all in one conversation--A great person to share your thoughts about life with who genuinely cares. She can go from sweet, shy and kind to fiery and passionate when the moment requires it. There is so much below the surface.


Like many friends I made in college, Maria was different from my friends growing up. She grew up in LA and her story was an interesting one. I learned about what it was like growing up in Watts and a lot about Central America. As I got to know her, I found out that we had a lot in common. We talked about decathlon, and other experiences. For a while Maria was my best-friend's girlfriend, so it made me very protective over her. I was also impressed with how brilliant she was and I would even ask her for help to edit my writing assignments. She was part of our small circle of friends and we were a close knit group. It is like we all grew up together and went from being kids to adults through the experiences we shared. There were hard times and some of the happiest, even if we didn't fully appreciate it then. She was a huge part of that transition in my life. I got to meet her family, namely siblings, over the years as they came to visit and they too were great people. Her brother even lived in Ithaca with us for some time. Maria can't stay angry and it is hard to stay angry at her. She would use funny words like "planchandoing" (ironing) because it felt good. That word always made me laugh. She shared a unique bond with everyone in the group, most so much closer than mine.


Post college, we drifted apart for a few years, but she would periodically check in on my blog and one day we started talking again and it was like our friendship was renewed. I remember how excited I was when she started a blog. I was her number one reader, always asking her to update because I wanted to know what was going on. I also remember while I was living in DC, her and her boyfriend Clay came to visit. It was us three at a bar catching up with life and talking about all kinds of things. It felt just like old times. I didn't want to like Clay at first in the protective sense, but he was such a stand up guy and he makes her so happy that I could not resist. I'll leave my thoughts on the awesomeness that is Clay for another time, but it is truly great watching two people mesh so perfectly.


Now the idea of a close friend of mine battling cancer and now ARDS is very scary. The energy she has must come from a very special place. She told me once that no one knows what they are capable of until they are put to the test. She has had that test and has proven to be a real fighter. I'm glad her family is there with her giving her strength. She has dealt with her cancer with such grace and determination that each time I talked to her I was always lost in admiration with ability to not let it take over her life. I know it wasn't all positive outlooks and smiles, but compared to the sadness some people live with not dealing with adversity, it was a remarkable feat.


I'm just one person who has crossed paths with Maria and I can only imagine what it is like for her best friends, her family and her love. I don't know the details of her daily life and the particulars of everything she has gone through in her fight. I am still a friend who cares deeply about her. I'm not great about telling people how much they mean to me, but I know that Maria knows me well enough to know where I hold her. I'm looking forward to her fighting through this and getting back to her life as usual. I'll be the first one there joining her side sharing old memories and her and Clay's plans as they continue along their path. I enjoyed hearing about their new house and the new opportunities they were exploring.


Here is a photo from freshman year that brings back memories from the Bodega. We were so little back then.

Here are my photos from Freshman year 00-99 for memories sake as well since I took a stroll through them today to make me feel better.

Maria, this part is just for you, since Fatima told me she would read this for you. I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm thinking about you daily and hope you get better soon. I miss you and our long chats. You have been so strong and I'm sure your family's love has been your driving force. I feel like I should say something important or memorable, but you know me well enough to know that I can say a lot without saying anything. You are special and I'm proud of the woman you have become since the day I first met you. One day I want to be wise like you, have the patience you have shown and even be as forgiving as you. You are a great role model who teaches people lessons by example, not by lecture. Your friendship means the world to me and that is why I wanted to share a few words with you. All your friends are here with bated breath hoping for a rapid recovery. Poor Jorge, has to explain all the medical stuff to me since its all over my head. Soon enough we will be talking about El Centro, the Bodega, Shortstop, Slope Day and those late nights in the LLC dorm causing all kinds of trouble. Your life has been one of overcoming adversity in so many ways, but has not been defined by it. I'm sorry this adversity has been put in your path, but I have faith in you. I always tell you how much I envy your world view and perspective on life, the peace and the happiness you let yourself experience. I'll never forget how you explained your perma-smile back in Ithaca by saying that in Cali it is sunny so it is easy to smile, but on the east coast it is so cold that it hurts to smile and that must explain why people are so grumpy. Your smile is the one thing everyone one remembers best about you and the thing I look forward the most to seeing again. You are loved and supported Mary. I truly hope you get well soon. - Marty

the bag of candy