Final Four

"My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared." - PJ Plauger

Mason is making a lot more news than I expected. All the enthusiasm is contagous. I just goes news that Mason Law got ranked 37, up from last year's 41. That is great and hopefully peer reviews will go up and the rank will keep going up as I look for jobs in the future. Today I helped a delivery guy find the campus bookstore to buy Mason shirts for his co-workers and boss. He told me how inspired he was by the team and how they were the kids nobody wanted. I think they are just coachable and the coach has done a great job. I have some problems will being able to watch the game due to other commitments, but I'm gonna try to do all I can to make it work out.

I have been pretty busy this week. I had dinner with Gissele on Tuesday. It was really cool catching up. I felt like I have known her for a long time, but when I really think about it, I never really knew her when I did know her. Wednesday was Shawna's bday. The plan was to go to Melting Pot, but we ended up going to Mexicali. It was a fun time and I had totally forgotten about her bday, so it was a nice surprise and evening. Cynthia arrived in town, but I have yet to see her. I'll probably see her on her friend Nellie's bday.

Today we had a happy hour at school. I have to tell you it was interesting since well I'm typing this under the influence, a bit. In criminal law, we got to leave to pick up beer and food and then go back to class. After class I just kept drinking. So now I'm in my last class for the week and definitely feel buzzed. It does make it harder to take notes, but I guess we will see how it goes. It makes me worry less that I am not prepared.

still a bit confused

Mason Patriots!

"Don't be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against; not with; but against the wind." -Hamilton Mabie

Mason made it to the final four and it was a hell of a game. Rick called me to congratulate me just before Nova came back to send the game into overtime. Talk about nerve racking. They pulled it out at the end, but man, had the 3-pointed dropped. I am pretty excited, and hopefully I'll get to see the final four game next weekend, I might be out for a bday party. Texas lost, and that hurt mainly because it would of been awesome to have both teams in the final four. Hopefully now when I apply for jobs, maybe more people will know what school I am from.

Is today the day I change my life? It might be. Today I get a fresh start, start from scratch.

I have been playing a lot of Online Poker recently. My game is improving, but the better it gets the more boring it gets. You have to play less hands and fold easier. Hopefully it will start to pay off.

There have been a lot of protests going on with this Immigration issue. I am proud that people are getting out and making their voices heard.

missing someone is not enough

In My Mind

"Rationalization may be defined as self-deception by reasoning." -Karen Horney

I have a paper due tomorrow. Just thought you would want to know. Because of it, I won't be able to go to a dinner party I was invited to. But let me tell you the latest development in the Giselle Call (friend from high school days) story. I'll cut to the chase, well she knows my downstairs housemate. They work together. So this entire time that I have been living at my house, she has actually visited on a few occassaions and been literally right under my nose. The world is much smaller than I had thought. She actually dropped by the other day and it was great seeing her again. She is so much older now.

I can't wait for the George Mason game. I guess you are a fan of what you are affliated with and everyone likes to be affliated with a winner. I might go see the game at a bar or at home, but hopefully the team plays well. I'm also rooting for Texas and UCLA.

I'm going to be honest, I think I have a problem with the way I think. When I objectively look at my life, everything is great and fine, yet somehow from day to day, I find ways to make myself feel somewhat miserable or angry. Not like seriously depressed miserable, but just less moments of joy than I want out of life miserable. I could try to blame external factors, you know, not being super rich, debt, life, etc, but honestly, everything is either how I want it or I'm working towards making it that way. So the problem I feel is in my head, it is my thoughts. I have self destructive thoughts, or just non-positive thoughts, that make me feel worse instead of thoughts that make me feel better. I think about things I've lost, moments I've been hurt, things that anger me, what could be going wrong. Writing it, it sounds worse than it really is, but it is small things, small thoughts, but they start to add up and lead to an overall feeling that keeps joy just at bay. Joy is like a girl, the more you want her and the harder you try, the worse things get. Point is that I know I can change my outlook by changing the way I think about things. If I think about things positively and don't let myself dwell on those negative thoughts, well I'll be happier all around. It is not easy though, you don't know you are having negative thoughts, don't say to yourself, oh let me think something negative. It just creeps in, sometime when a memory pops up or as you sit there wondering why you are not writing your paper.

I need to be more positive, I can do this, I have done this, and I can be very good at this...but it is not me it seems. You see, it is just like running or eating right, poker or some other project I take on with full enthusiasm and completely devote myself to, and then over time after I've passed the point of making it routine, one day I just don't do it...then it is two days and I slowly fall back to my default self and what once was routine is now no longer part of my life. I think to myself, well this is me this is how I am when I am not trying, so it might be who I really am. If I didn't have to get up for work or school I think I'd spend all day in bed and at home wasting away. I'd have no purpose and well it is kind of what my weekends look like sometimes. Alternatives take work. I have written some personal things before, but I think this is the most personal because it defines a large part of me. This is my daily struggle, with a solution that only ever seems to be temporary. It affects my life, my friendships, my relationships, everything.

Let me give you an example of how my mind, well my thoughts can make my outlook be bleak. In Spain, well I had a great time and kept up a positive outlook and enjoyed every minute, but it was work and I was trying, but the benefits were great...I don't want to have to try. At one point, I ran into this fortune teller lady. I think about the things she told me every now and then. I won't get into my views on people like that, but she was able to describe everyone I've dated quite impressively. She told me that in college I spent a lot of time thinking about a girl and it made me miserable and I did poorly in school and didn't fully enjoy life. She said I needed to let go of those thoughts and being that way. But that is just it, in college, I did waste too much time being miserable about things that really in retrospect did not command myself feeling so shitty about. I spent too much time depressed and all because of the thoughts I was running in my mind. I made big things out of little things, everything was about loyalty to me. I blamed the snow, the cold, and other external things, but a large part was all in my mind. The moments I did have a wonderful time in college were the moments I was too busy to entertain negative thoughts, where I was doing stuff, having fun with my friends. The lady told me I needed to let go, stop torturing myself, but there is a reason I don't, or won't. I don't know why exactly.

I hate the picture this paints, but this is the part of myself that I ignore. I focus on fixing the fruits instead of the roots. I can make great fruit, but once I stop working on it, the fruit gets bad again because something is wrong with the roots. Fix the roots you say, well I would, if I knew how to fix it. I know how to fix the fruits, but the underlying reasons why I choose these thoughts I don't think I understand. They just seem to pop up and before I notice they are there, they have changed my emotional state. You try to tell yourself to not think about a Purple Elephant and you'll see how easy it really is. It is not so easy, but I don't give up on things either. So I'll keep cleaning up my fruits and having this presentable outward appearance to the world while trying to get down into the root level figuring out why I do this to myself...and hopefully change what has been, but hopefully won't always be the default me.

Dinner at the Melting Pot, well that was my plan

Break is Over

"Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command." - Alan Watts

Spring Break is not over and it's back to school and work. This is the home stretch and very soon I'll be getting ready for finals. I learned some important lessons over break. I didn't get to take a real trip like I had wanted, but I still got to visit NYC and rest. So for the lessons, first, no matter how much I sleep, I'm always going to be tired. Either I have chronic fatigue syndrome or my diet and lack of enough exercise make me feel like shit day in and day out. I wish I had medical insurance so that I could ask a doctor, but I'm sure I'd get a bullshit response and no good medication to help me out. I also learned that if you ignore your work, it doesn't decrease, but that is a lesson I have never learned, so I guess I didn't really learn it.

So Friday Sarah Beth got in. I had to study for the MPRE and since she took a red eye, she slept for most of the day. At night, I took a break and we all (including Mark, Shawna, and Andrew) went to this Crab place. I'm not a fan of crab, but everyone else is, so it ended up being a messy, but good time. I couldn't get that smell off my hands for a whole day after.

I woke up and took the MPRE in the morning at Howard. After I took the metro to the bus station were I met SB and we took a bus to NYC. I saw "are we there yet?" on the bus and it was the worst movie ever. At the very least, very very bad. We got to NYC and met up with Jorge and Michele. We stayed at Michele's place. She has a very nice studio in Manhattan. It was great seeing my friends again. We had dinner at a Turkish restaurant and went out later at night were we met up with everyone. I can not believe that Jorge woke up the next morning (2hrs of sleep) and ran a half marathon with Michele. I really have no excuses. NYC was fun, we did random sightseeing, but didn't get to go to the zoo.

We took the bus back to DC and Sb left for Miami on Wednesday. I did my best to be a good host and hopefully she had a good time. I was pretty down that I didn't get to go to San Diego like I had planned, but things ended up being allright.

As of late I have been doing a lot of basketball watching. I didn't fill out a bracket, but am glad that George Mason and Texas have both made it to the sweet 16. I was actually rooting for A&M to make it too. GMU will be playing in DC, so maybe I'll be able to get tickets.

I just heard from an old friend recently. Her name is Missy and I met her in high school. There was a point in college when I lost contact with her and always wondered how she was doing. I don't think you could meet a happier person, and genuinely happy, not annoying happy. I knew she got married, but that was the extent I had known. She now has two children and still runs. I used to always ask her to explain to me why she loved running so much, I never could. I'd like to start running more, but there always seem to be an excuse not to. Maybe this will inspire me. Hearing from her really brightened up my day. I'm kind of glad I joined myspace.

Sopranos are back. I can't wait to see how this final season turns out. Sundays are now Sopranos and then Grey's Anatomy. That show has very witty dialouge. I think Prison Break also starts up today, so in a why I'm glad deadwood isn't back because I need to find some time to be a student between all this tv watching.

My nephew JoMichael turned 9 this weekend. These kids get great gifts. I also wouldn't trade my upbringing either. I always put their (nephews and nieces) bdays in my calendar, but somehow I always seem to lose them as well.

Today I got a message from Sissy Call. She was the daughter of the drama teacher at my high school. She lives in Alexandria, VA. This site has been awesome for finding long lost friends. I have lots of questions to ask her.

Today I was talking to my aunt. See, I feel like every since the US elected Bush that the country and gotten worse and worse. Defenders blame 9/11 and the economy, but his decisions have made the worst impact. Scandal after scandal, I mean I've already forgotten about his last 10 screwups with the next 10. I won't list them, but I think even one would sink a democratic president. So my aunt was complaining about gas prices. This is an issue I don't completely blame on Bush, but for a man that took us to war for oil, you'd think at the least we could have cheap gas for all those lives. These are his people, but yeah so I tell her that the high gas prices are like everything else (civil liberties, katrina, lobbying scandals, gun control, failed war on terror, failed war in iraq, and gas prices) is penance for our countries decision to elect him. Her response was that things wouldn't be better with Kerry. She would rather have a terrible now than a theoretical world of Kerry where women can have abortions and the government will have to be separate from religion. What really gets me, is that she is not alone in this thought, a lot of people still think the same way. What else needs to happen to see that this administration is the worst thing that could happen to our country.

At some point you can't wait anymore

Atari

"Invest your time wisely and choose your friends accordingly...for life will become stagnant if you surround yourself with those who sincerely can offer nothing but just a way to pass the time..."-Frida I. (i think)

A friend of mind has interesting quotes up that describe her adventures in teachings...I wish I collected them. Here is the most recent. "My kids are taking the state mathematics test today, tomorrow, and thursday which determines promotion to the next grade. Well, it sure is a good thing they can't even add 3 + 9 without counting on their fingers and they have to perform algebra on this test. I hope they like the fourth grade because they'll be getting another dose of it next year!"

The MPRE is getting closer. I'm listening to tapes and have to say I'm pretty bored with the subject now, (last semester class, studying for finals, 5 hour class, tapes, and reading book outline)...so I'm worried I'm going to stop memorizing and say, oh i know that. So I need to start keeping this info in my head. I can't wait to be done.

Today was my last day of work until after Spring Break. It will be nice to have a bit of time for myself. I was working on a project I found really interesting, so hopefully I'll get to work on it again when I return.

Everyone seems to be so excited about Spring break. I have yet to get the feeling. Maybe it is because I am no longer going anywhere cool for spring break, but mainly because all I am thinking about is this MPRE. I figure once I am done with it, then I'll start to think about relaxing.

I was driving home from work and I was behind a surburan. It has the whole whole back painted with this large text. Our daughter if fighting for "YOUR FREEDOM" You're welcomed!. It was in red white and blue flag colors. Instead of thinking, "oh my, thank you so much for saving my freedom of speech and privacy." instead I thought, "talk about being humble, you all are obnoxious jerks." Sometimes I feel like a bad person, but not so much in this case.

"If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, then stop accepting crap and demand something more." - Grey's Anatomy - Yang

Very angry, yup

Oscars

"The joke was really his audience, who came across as humorless dolts. Damn Hollywood, learn something about self-deprecating humor." - Article about Jon Stewart hosting the Oscars

I feel like I have turned my mind off. Like I don't think about things or fully appreciate the consequences of my decisons from day to day. My decisions to do and not do things, what I eat, how much I workout. Just putting my head in the sand and hoping it will all turn out find. Then something comes up and hits you in the face...sometimes finals, other times bad health, and hopefully not things that I won't be able to figure out when I start looking around.

I had a paper due this morning. I spent most of the day Sunday working on it, and when I say day, I mean night and into the morning this Monday. Even when I do get working early, as I did in this case, it is like my pace is slow and tedious, until it hits midnight, when the few hours left start to become apparent and fatigue starts to set in. I just start pumping out more text and nwo the goal is just being done. It is like a cresendo of productivity. Of course that leaves you with the hope that if you only had one more day to edit your fine piece of work, you'd do amazing. Sadly you know when the thought crosses your mind, that if you did have that day, you wouldn't of been working on Sunday.

Check out these fun laws:

Va. Code Ann. § 18.2-344 (2006)
§ 18.2-344. Fornication
Any person, not being married, who voluntarily shall have sexual intercourse with any other person, shall be guilty of fornication, punishable as a Class 4 misdemeanor.

Va. Code Ann. § 18.2-345 (2006)
§ 18.2-345. Lewd and lascivious cohabitation
If any persons, not married to each other, lewdly and lasciviously associate and cohabit together, or, whether married or not, be guilty of open and gross lewdness and lasciviousness, each of them shall be guilty of a Class 3 misdemeanor; and upon a repetition of the offense, and conviction thereof, each of them shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor.

not the way I envisioned the weekend going

Raindrops

Derek: [to Addison] There is a land called Passive Agresseva, and you are their queen.

Derek: Meredith... [to Addison] You really are Satan, you realize that right? If Satan were to take physical form he'd be you, everywhere all the time.
Addison: I am so not Satan.
Derek: How come you haven't gotten on your broomstick and gone back to New York where you belong?
Addison: Stop being petty.
Derek: Stop being an adulterous bitch.

Meredith Grey: We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?

Meredith Grey: At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.

Meredith Grey: Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

Meredith Grey: Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.

Christina Yang: I get angry when I go without sleep.

Christina Yang: You are eight feet tall. Your boobs are perfect. Your hair is down to there. If I was you I would just walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job, I wouldn't have any skills, I wouldn't even know how to read. I would just be... naked.
Isobel "Izzie" Stevens: It's makeup. It's retouching.
Christina Yang: You get that we hate you, right?

Voice Over: We break the rules we set for ourselves because we don't have our parents to rebel against. Grey's Anatomy

- Grey's Anatomy Quotes


I am now done watching two seasons of Grey's Anatomy. So now I can watch with the rest of America on March 12th for the next episode. I'm a sucker for tv series(es?). HBO has yet to get me hooked to anything new and my favorites are all on hiatus right now.

I'm taking my MPRE study course this weekend. I feel like I'm taking my test at the wrong time, I don't know if I'm taking it too early, or too late. Should I have taken it in November when I took the course, or next November when I am a 3L. Well I guess now is as good as ever.

I found this online:

We're jealous of your guy friends.
True!There's a theory that we're supposed to get over the fact that you have guy friends. We won your heart, after all -- they didn't. But we still can't get over the completely childish insecurity that envelops us when you go out with old flames, friends, or even coworkers.
Sometimes it's that we don't trust the guys. Other times, we just want to be invited along so we can meet these chums of yours. And often it's that we don't like the way you quote the funny things they say or bring them up in conversation. See, we don't necessarily fear that you'll cheat on us; we fear that we won't be the coolest, funniest, and most highly revered guy in your life.

We need to control the remote.
True!Guys always ask for the remote. Or, in some cases, simply take it. Sometimes in some cases this is because you girls flip too slowly. But the main reason is that this handheld device gives us power. We won't fight to control much else, but television is our domain. How many times a day do you go around quoting movies or discussing sports stats? See, TV is our secret code to the man world. And giving you the remote is like letting you know our handshake -- it gives you more control than you think. So please, ladies, let us have this. You don't have to understand it, but just know that holding a remote means so much more than it seems.

Saturday Night Live was awesome. You rarely hear me say that, but Natalie Portman was on it. I have come to expect dissappointment when it comes to her, considering her movie selections and such. Well she did the most amazing job. Mark and Shawna were watching it and called me over after the weekend update part, I love having DVR. So she did a skit, pertending to be Sasha Cohen, and the Aristrocrats joke. It had everything, my favorite actress, my figure skater (who I wish would look older), her knack for falling down, and the Aristrocrats, a documentary I had just seen a while back. It was so well written. Then she did this rap, it was written for her, but she was awesome and the lyrics were great. It made my night.

It turns out that only 1 million viewers watch Jon Stewart's "The Daily Show" every night. After Sunday, 40 million new fans will be born.

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