Fresh Start

"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together." ~ Unknown

What a weekend! It was St. Patrick's Day and I should of been out drinking green beer and enjoying myself. Instead I chose to stay in and drink wiskey knowing that if I drank too much my bed wasn't too far away. I was a bit useless, but I really didn't mind it too much. I also spent the time fighting off allergy attacks that are only going to get worse. Claratin used to be a magic pill for me, now I take it like birth control and I wonder if it is doing much good. I have added two other medicines to the mix, which I'm sure is a bad idea and it just seems to leave me tired.

I would of thought I'd play a lot of poker, but one of my rules is no (or little) drinking while I play poker and I have to be in a good mindset emotionally and not tired...considering I wasn't able to play. I did watch a lot of TV, mainly basketball and movies. I saw Casino Royale, a very good action movie. I also saw the holiday, not really my taste and I can be a sap for movies like that, but this one made Jack Black such a wuss that I just couldn't get into it. I saw some episodes of The Winner, which I have to say is winning me over. I'm a sucker for Dailyshow alums.

So Koki and Mia are sleeping away and I wake Koki up to play with her. She got really angry, probably because she was too close to Mia. I think sometimes when she is pissed I like to provoke her more than I should. I'm usually wearing glasses so I don't worry about my eyes, but I wonder with all her hissing if she would ever really hurt or attack me. I have yet to get her to do so and well I think I love her too much to put her in a spot where she would be hurting and would have to. I just annoy her, mainly holding her while Mia comes close that that drives her insane. I try not to do this too often as to not make her hate me, but I do wonder why I have such confidence that Koki, no matter how angry or mad would never hurt me. Mia on the other hand is hard to make angry since she is always scared, so since it has taken years to slowly train her not to be scared, I don't bother her as much. Maybe I just don't trust and have to see...maybe I'm just a jerk. 99% of the time I'm at their beck and call, so please don't think I'm some sort of bad owner.

Spring break is over. I haven't had a real spring break since senior year of college when I went to Cancun. The next two years I was working, and then in Miami, well I spent it in Miami since it was a good location for spring break, then last year I stayed in DC (with a trip to NYC) and this year I stayed in DC too (with small trip to AC). At some point I'll be going to San Diego.

Being back at work feels weird, just like I'm getting back into the swing of things. Bob and Angie moved the offices around. I'm trying to get all my work hours organized and help out in any way I can. Bob I think is out for the week for his other job. It does feel nice to be back, plus it will help get me into a better routine than I had last week.

A girl I dated for 3 years a few years ago is getting married soon. For some reason I was sure she was already married, but that was not the case. Enough years have passed that I am actually very happy for her. You can't help but wish someone happiness when they have found their one. I learned a lot from that relationship and it did take me a long time to get back on my feet after, but looking back, it made me who I am. I think it made me a better boyfriend in my future relationships. I’m the kind of person that doesn’t want to talk to, about or know anything about a person I am no longer dating. It is almost like it never happened. People have given me a hard time about this, but for me it was how I dealt with things. I’ve always seen it as a way of showing my respect for them and leaving them to go on with their own life as I go on with mine.

I need to figure out what I am going to do in my life. Sometimes it is easy to use someone else as an excuse to not ask yourself the hard questions of what I want and where I want to be. I might of procrastinated filling out my bar app and paying barbri off because I wasn't sure of my decision. I have now made a decision by not making one and am for sure going to try my hardest to be a Texas licensed attorney. SMU is starting to seem like a better choice had I known for sure this would be my path. The question still remains what job will I work at and where. At first my plan was to move to Edinburg jobless and just look for a job once I was done. This isn't the best plan, but it was and still is my default. Who knows, it might still be the best option. I'll talk about my possible options in another entry.

"This old man" ahhhh...not "Thislle man" what is thisle? I don't know, thought it was part of the song.

erased all I could