Costumes Parade

"Ours is a sick profession. [A profession marked by] incompetence, lack of training, misconduct, and bad manners. Ineptness, bungling, malpractice, and bad ethics can be observed in court houses all over this country every day." - Justice Warren Burger

First off, I'm flying to Dallas and am staying Friday - Sunday, so if you are in town shoot me an email at ma73@cornell.edu with your phone number if you want to hang out. I'm going up to Fort Worth to hang out with Abram and do some visiting.

Happy Day of the Dead to anyone that actually celebrates that. I don't, but maybe because I was brought up to think it was evil just like Halloween. Of course I don't think it is, but all I have in my mind is the idea of leaving food at cemeteries and poor people coming to eat it after. So after work on Wednesday I scrummed to Ericka's desire to go to 6th and celebrate Halloween. Had it fallen on a weekend I think I would of dressed up, but being during the week, and not being in college, I decided I'd wait until it fell on a weekend. We met up with Karina and went over really early.

So they close off 6th and there is almost a parade of costumes as families sit on the sides with their children. We had a lot of discussion if it was appropriate to bring children to this type of event at night and my view is that it is a fun experience, so just cover their eyes for the inappropriate costumes. The other problem is that some of the kids just seem ready for bed.

So I'm out being my own personal costume judge, with points for creativity, simplicity and dedication to the role. I was sure my top 5 list would be full of lingerie cladly dressed co-eds who were bunnies, or slutty nurses, or slutty [insert whatever here.] Instead, there were not as many of those than I expected, but then again it wasn't late yet.

The first costume I saw that I ranked as my number one was a little boy dressed as Chucky. He was the right size and the mask and clothes were great. He even had a knife. It was adorable yet scary at the same time. I wish I would of had my camera, so I could show you, but I didn't have that foresight. I tried to include pictures anyway for this blog, but these are not the actual costumes, and I do promise the costumes I saw were much better, but I just wanted to give ya a feel for them.

Then there was the 100th drag queen, which I just don't find to be a clever costume. Halloween isn't an excuse to dress drag (unless you are Guiliani). Well there was one guy who pulled off the drag thing well, but when he would pose for pictures, he would lift up his dress exposing his huge plastic genitalia. It was so funny in a Crying Game sort of way. He got mad props. I do wish I had a picture of that.

While we are at a bar, two guys walk in, one dressed as Ali G. and the other as Borat in a suit. It was cool, and I thought very creative. Maybe it was a bit last year, but it was a good team effort.

Then came in what I thought would be my favorite of the night. A guy dressed in a suit, with sunglasses and his dick in a box. Not only was it just like SNL, the guy was totally committed the role walking around like a bad ass with his dick in a box. Step two: open the box.

As we are doing one last walk around, right out of nowhere comes a guy also dressed as Borat, but this time, in a, what I can only call a bright green neon speedo. He was pretty darn naked walking around just like Borat would. No shame whatsoever, but his costume was one of the highlights.

So I'm pretty impressed with the costumes, but I'm sad that I didn't see any Hillary Clinton costumes. I didn't expect any, but Ericka told me it was the must purchased costume this year. I was also sad I didn't see any Larry Craig's. Then as we are driving away, out side my window is a man in a suit inside of a large stall looking object. As we get closer I look inside and it is a Larry Craig with bathroom stall and all. It was very elaborate. It made my night.



There was a point in the night were I listened to the soap box mic guys telling everyone they were going to hell for debauchery and embracing evil. Karina said it was the same guys from ACL. That is a good gig, go to all the fun events to complain, you get to enjoy yourself and not go to hell. I started chanting George W Bush thinking we were in Texas and they would probably be big fans, but no one else seemed to care as my chant crescendoed.

On a similar note, Pat Robertson: Halloween "A Mistake For Christians [Did] you sent your child out trick or treating ? No? Oh thank God. Because Pat Robertson proclaimed [Wednesday] on "The 700 Club" that Halloween is the "festival of the Devil". He went on to say that celebrating Halloween is "a mistake for Christians" and to participate in it is "wrong". If you really care about your kids and don't want to see them end up in eternal damnation, you'll keep them home tonight and let them play the Bibleman video game.

I hope people understand I share this because I disagree with that man.

All of this was to distract me from what is one of the most stressful weeks I've ever had. Good news or bad news, sometimes you just need to know so you can experience the emotions and try to move on. The not knowing is what kills you.

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