Honesty

There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing, and that's all you'll ever find." -Robert Flaherty

Tuesday I swapped trucks with Abram and he did me the favor of taking my truck up to north Austin to get the window installed. After, he went to turn in his application for the apartment and the rent for May. It is nice to know there are people in life you can count on. During my lunch break I met up with him to change trucks and man it felt good to see a window instead of a cardboard cover. We had lunch and I went back to work. Now I need a good car wash.

Here is my HIMYM review for the week. It just seems like each show gets better. Watch it people. Really, if after reading this you go out and watch the show and don't find it great, I'd like to know. I just think people don't give it a chance. In this last episode it was awesome how Barney hired Marshall as his attorney and then told him a secret and held him to attorney client privilege. That was classic, as was the devil's threeway joke. The ending was great and I'm glad Barney got what was coming to him. Ted was turning 30, but it seems like 29 would of made more sense.

I finally caught up with a good friend of mine this weekend. It had been a while since we had talked. I feel like I end up really going on with random mundane things, which means we will have a long conversation, so I should probably just call more often and keep the conversations shorter. I can just go off on so many tangents. It is nice to see people's lives going well.


Words can say a lot of things, especially written words. Things that change the way you see the world, things that change your entire perspective of a person or how they are feeling. They can also sometimes just be words, maybe with some sort of meaning when put to paper, but when pressed for action, not as strong as the impact they made on you when you read them.

Thanks for the recent kudos. My Myspace readers don't leave enough of those.

I'm really waiting on that tax money. $300 won't go a long way, but I have people I owe money to that this would help with. Sadly, it will probably pay for a few tanks of gas.

I'm tired of hearing 'no'

The Pound

"I must claim the quoter's privilege of giving only as much of the text as will suit my purpose," said Tan-Chun. "If I told you how it went on, I should end up by contradicting myself!" - Cao Zhan (c.1715-1763)

I am welcoming the end of this week. Thursday was another day that left much to be desired. I'm at work and I get a phone call from animal control. The dogs got out yet again and this time the neighbors called the authorities on me. I had to rush from work and when I got there, the dogs were sitting on the porch of the house while the dog catcher was waiting for me in his truck. He was a very cool man, he told me that the fine would be about $130 a dog, but that this time I would just get a warning since it was a first offense and he didn't have to take the dogs in. I was very lucky.



My hearing must be bad because I can't hear the under 40 sound in the video below. Where do you rank?

I run into a lot of really random websites. Here is one I thought was clever. http://www.exboyfriendjewelry.com/, a website for women to share their break-up stories and sell their jewelry. It makes me wonder about my discussions with friends about buying an engagement ring from an engagement that did not work out. You could get a really great deal, but the history makes people see it as bad luck, or at the least, it comes with a bad story. Maybe that is why ebay or craigslist would be a better idea. Considering the diamonds were probably mined in a way that has a worst story, you would think it wouldn't compare, but people don't like thinking about that. A wise person once told me to "marry someone you can talk to." When we are old and grey, talking will count for more than we can imagine today.

I finally got to see this weeks How I met your mother. Oh my...Barney and Robin....that is so wrong. Maybe I never got over the Robin Ted breakup, but Barney? Yes, I'm this emotionally invested in this show.

is it just me?

Shattered Window

"We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities." - Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

I hate to talk about negative things, but sometimes they just happen. I just feel that harping on them just makes them worse. So yesterday I got a speeding ticket for going 40 in a 30. I mean, 40, really? It will cost me the same as if I was going 80 in a 70. Now which seems worse? I don't have a TX license, so I can't just take a defensive drivers course. I tried to let it go and not think about it.

Then Abram gets home last night and we move all my stuff in. It felt so good to have my couches. We are probably done at about 12:30am and I go to bed at 2am. I'm up and ready for work at 7:30am and as I walk to my truck I notice that the floor is covered in black glass. I wonder who would of broken a glass by my truck. Then as I look up, I notice that my back window is smashed. Someone broke into my truck last night and took all kinds of stuff from the inside. My ipod, gps, maglight, ripped up part of the dash, and probably some other things I haven't yet figured out. I called the police and they got there quickly and I filled out a report. They noticed another car broken into on the way over, but they had yet to call. They took prints but found nothing. What really pissed me off was that they tried to get in by messing with the handle lock, which means that that is messed up too. Now I have to find out how much it costs to get fixed and if it will be more than $500 or less than, since that is what I'm paying either way. Sure beats getting a few stratches. To make matters more interesting, it starts to rain as the cops leave. I have to create a ghetto window cover with cardboard, thick plastic sheets and tape. It did the job and is the least eye sore you can expect.

Well of course, other than being late to work, it starts to rain even more testing out my cover. It will need more tape later. On the bright side, with a day starting this bad, it can only get better.

On the subject of bad handwriting, which includes mine, did you know that in any given year, approximately 7,000 people die because a pharmacist couldn’t read a prescription.

Let me tell you more about yesterday. So Abram brought my couches, my table, dvds, games, dart board, kitchen ware, stereo and a few other assorted items. Rino, Abram and I started setting up the upstairs and it was starting to look real good. We put some carpets down, some pictures up and even got the TV on a stand. Rino brought a mini-fridge up and now the place really looks like home.

In pretty damn amazing news, I just found out that my friend Angie just passed the Virginia bar exam. I'm so very happy for her. I can't wait to hang out with her and Bob to celebrate. Now she has two bars under her belt. I looked through the list and noticed some names of people I went to school with too. That was a great way to end the day. Can't wait until I join the taking two bars club.

this sucks

Another Primary

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." - Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968)

So today is Earth Day, did you know that? I didn't, but it seems like every year I forget until the day actually arrives. It kind of feels like the one day people talk about the environment, but more in a spiritual way rather than in a we have to really change the way things work type of way. I'm drinking from a water bottle as I type. I hear those are terrible for the earth. Hope you had a good one folks.

The air condition broke at work on Monday. It resulted in a very hot day. I guess the good news was that we got to get out an hour early. I had to go home to wait for the cable guy in the morning, so it really put a damper on the hours I was able to put in.

The only Sunday talk show I seem to watch is Meet the Press. I really respect the show and like Tim Russert. This Sunday I caught him making a mistake that really urks me. I quickly looked for an article to see if anyone else noticed the same and it wasn't too hard to find. Here it is.

On Meet the Press, Tim Russert asserted that “many Democrats fear Republicans in the fall will string together an ad which shows,” among other things, “[Sen.] Barack Obama with his hands clasped in front of him rather than holding his heart during the Pledge of Allegiance.” However, the photo to which Russert was apparently referring appeared in Time magazine with a caption indicating it was taken during the national anthem, not the Pledge of Allegiance…read on.



I have this medicine for my heart. To be honest I'm not taking it. I took it a few times, but I wasn't sure if it was making me feel sick, so I just stopped. I just feel like my body should fix this problem on its own. This of course is not happening. The idea of being one of those people that gets a heart attack is kind of scary. That is the kind of thing that happens to old men, and in my case when I'm old, old men that are not me. It is hard to worry about something you can't feel. Maybe it isn't my body that should be fixing the problem, but instead my actions and choices.



You know what I hate more than bad smells? Bad smells that I've been around so long that I no longer notice. Our downstairs couches are really nice, but they still have that dog smell that although less, still hasn't gone away. My concern is that I'll just get used to it and not notice it anymore and the problem will still be there.

test results

Hard on me too

"When i was your lover
No one else would do
If i'm forced to find another i hope she looks like you."
- John Mayer, I'm Gonna Find Another You

I now officially live in my new place. You should come over and check it out. I still have a few things to move from Oscar's and a lot of cleaning to do there, but I have a new home. I should probably start getting my address changed. It is starting to come together, but it is a big place and there is still so much to be done. My room was a terrible mess because I wanted to organize everything, so I poured everything on the floor and now the mess keeps getting smaller and smaller. Where do you put stuff you don't use, but don't want to throw out? ie old credit cards, letters or business cards.

Rino's dad, my Tio Cama, came up to visit. He brought up my bed from the Valley. I was happy to not have to sleep on the air mattress anymore. I do have to say, the bed I had at Oscar's was so much better than mine. I'll miss it. My bed actually isn't the best, but it got me through law school, so I'm sure it will do fine. Rino's mom also came up to visit and was so nice and made us dinner. It was very good. It was nice visiting with them. They were great.

Sunday Abram went down to the valley to visit the family. He took my truck, so I'm using his for the time being. I left him without any gas, but he returned the same favor to me.

In family news, my niece Sarah made her middle school drill team squad. She is so happy and I hope she really enjoys it. That is all the updates I have right now, but I'm sure there are many more other achievements I don't know about.

My sister a few years back told me about the movie About a Boy. I had never seen it, but thought I had so never really looked it up. It happened to be on TV and my Tivo recorded it without asking me. It was a pretty good movie I have to say, considering it is a romantic comedy. I like that he argues that the saying no man is an island is not true. I know the movie tried to prove the opposite, but that was the message I took from it. What I have to tell you, is that I've discovered that Rachel Weisz is now one of my favorite actresses. She joins the likes of Natale Portman, Anne Hathaway, Kate Beckinsale and Reese Witherspoon. (the last one doesn't seem to fit the same mold I think.) The scale I use rates them on attractiveness and decent acting ability. It started to hit me during Definitely, Maybe and then the Constant Gardener. It was cemented in this most recent movie I saw (which ironically is the oldest one.) I didn't mention the actress from October Road because she still has more movies to do.

My cats are not liking the dogs. Maybe they don't like the being chased thing. I hope they learn to not be scared because I worry that they will go to the restroom in my room because they are scared to do downstairs. It is interesting, I don't think you can get mad at other people's pets. I am working on creating that secret invisible barrier of my doorway that may not be crossed.

Imagine how it would feel if you put your hand down and swung a hammer as hard as your could right into the spot between your pointer finger and your thumb. Painful right? Now imagine it happening to me. A bit funny eh? Well it hurts, so don't laugh. I'm just glad I'm able to type today. I won't explain how it happened, but maybe more use of tools in my life would of helped some.


I have to end with politics of course. I'm looking forward to the Pennsylvania primary. Here is the way I look at it. If Hillary wins by 9% plus I think she should stay in the race. If she wins by less than 15%, I'm moving to the Obama camp. I just don't like what the campaign is looking like now. I get it, I do. They are trying to show you why she is better and it does take some negative campaigning, but if you can't win without that, then you don't deserve to win. Now Obama is hitting back with his own negative campaigning and I don't like who it is making him become. How about just facts and policy, not associations of days past. Hell, the Bushes were married to the Oil industry and they still won. What I want to make known is that no matter how much I like Olberman, his being a jerk to the Clintons was the one thing keeping me back from moving to Obama. I'll cut him some slack though.

nothing in the mail

Upper Hand

"If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want." Oscar Wilde

I'm going to start right off with politics because a lot has happened recently. Here is an article:

Critic: ABC "Clear Loser" Of Pennsylvania Debate

There was that horrendous debate on ABC. The candidates did well, but the questions were not germain to the real problems of our nation. Why do they keep asking about shit I don't care about? I mean, it was the equivalent of, "Why are you a secret Muslim?" type question Colbert jokes about, which is just lies and gossip. Even the questions that were based on fact, were just less important than how they will deal with the war, fix education, the credit crisis and the gas prices that are making me poor and some people really rich. There are a lot of editorials and articles on this debate, but here is the first one I read.


Fox & Friends' Steve Doocy Congratulates His Son For Asking McCain Question About Hillary's Drinking

I actually saw that question happen in real time. I was watching TV and didn't know the background story. I just thought the kid was an idiot and that maybe they should vet questions, not to discourage free speech, but stupid questions like that with ridiculous assumptions. "Hitting the sauce," how juvenile is that? Later, I read the article and found out that there was more to the story. Seriously, that kid was such a douche. I've never seen a more smug, obnoxious ass, second to his father. I'm glad he got called out on wasting my time when he had a chance to ask a presidential candidate any question in the world, maybe even one pertaining to policy.

I enjoy learning new things and one thing I really like is studies. I know that studies are not always reliable, but sometimes they give you important insight.

Study: Men More Forgetful Than Women

This seems so very true. I feel like I forget a lot of things and I would rather take, I'm stupid than, I just don't care enough to remember when your cat's toy's birthday is. I think overall though, comparatively, I have a really good memory when it comes to things I should remember. Which is funny because you set a higher bar for yourself and when you don't meet it, people get upset, yet they would expect so much less from someone else.

Now more house talk since this is always on my mind. I love my new place. I have to tell you one of my favorite things is my shower. I wish I had a single standing shower long ago. So much better than that tub hybrid I've had my whole life. Now that I think about it, I had one in Ithaca that I shared with Sonya. I like that one too. Either way, having the garden tub separate is so much better. I probably need to get some bubble bath stuff and candles and such, but that will be some time.

One thing I will say that I'm not happy about with my place is the light switches. They are all just placed in very inconvienent places. Very counter intuitive. You move to turn on the light where it should be and the switch isn't there, it is in another place. I wonder how much people think about these things. I'm sure I'll get used to the weird placements, but I don't like them.

There are a few things I need for the place before I feel it is somewhat complete. First would be a TV stand for upstairs, and some coffee tables. [Plus the couches Abram should bring up for me.] Then there is a TV stand for downstairs and a table for our formal dining room. Probably some art for the walls, but that will come much later.

On Thursday I left work and ran some errands. It is really cool how timing worked out just great. Abram invited me to see a band named Pepper at Stubbs. I hadn't heard of them before, but Abram likes them a lot. We arrived there and met up with some of Abram's friends. I was apprehensive to going because I was still feeling sick, but I was better. So the opening band we saw wasn't very good. They were not bad, just not great. Nothing special. Then Abram's band came on and they were pretty darn good. We were near the front so I tried to hold on to my beer as people crashed into me from all sides. I was doing great, but the cigarette smoke was killing me. The pot smoke I could deal with, but with all the cigarette smoke I decided to go get another beer and enjoy the concert from more of a distance. What I don't get is all the girls that smoke. There are more unattractive things, but that is a deal breaker. We had a pretty good time and it didn't rain like the weather report said.


After the concert we dropped by Oscar's house to pick up the dogs. We put them in the back of the truck and took them over to the new place. After feeding them, I went to bed. So now it is 4am in the morning and I'm asleep and I hear a noise, there are two dogs in my room. The dogs opened the door and got in during the night. Luckily they ran right up to me, so they didn't have time to do damage. I took them out and thought, wow all their dog kicking paid off finally. I thought it would take longer to go back to bed, but it didn't. I woke up 20 mins later with the dogs inside again. I need to check that door. This time I locked it.

I have to tell you about the dogs homeward bound story. They keep digging out. They dug out one night and oh my, it was crazy. We couldn't find them all night. The next day Abram got a phone call and they were back at the old house. Not only did they travel 3 miles, they also crossed a highway (I-35) without getting hit. Brooks did it with a hurt leg, meaning he walked on 3 legs. I guess dogs have a crazy homing sense.

Here is a video that Cynthia sent me:

The Sad Truth About Relationships

why does it take a person to tell you that you are a genuinely good person to fully believe it?

My Back

"Whenever you fall, pick something up." -Oswald Avery

April 14th was my mom's birthday. I think she went with Ana to see the movie Under the Same Moon. Ana recommended it to me and I liked it. It is in Spanish, but being able to understand plus subtitles made me forget that. It is a movie definitely worth renting. We sent her flowers to her work.


Abram has been working pretty hard lately. He has paid for April and May's rent, plus most of the deposits we needed. Moving into this place has had so many unexpected expenses. I hardly get to see him it seems. We are almost there.

On Monday I was feeling sick so I left work early. Feeling sick and having to move isn't too fun of a combination. Those are the times I have felt the most lonely I think, when I'm feeling sick and no one in the worlds knows really but me. There is just something nice about having a person there to care for you. In college I used to feel this way, but then when I had it, well it was nice. I do think it would make me sick longer and more often, which is something that is not very good. I woke up sick on Tuesday so I missed work. I ended up staying the day at the new place waiting for the guy to install cable and internet and another guy to turn on the gas so we could have hot water. The cable guy was cool and I talked to him while he did all the wiring.

I will tell you one thing. On Monday night, I didn't have internet or a DVR. It felt so weird. I think Southpark is doing an episode on this topic tonight. The daily show was about to start and I was on the road and usually I just think, oh, it is being recorded, but this time it wasn't, so I rushed home to catch most of it. (didn't want to stay up for the 12:00am rerun and totally forgot about the 6pm rerun.) That is why I like vacations, I can get away from computers and TV...but of course while I am gone it is nice to know my TV is recording for me. I need to spend more time reading books, but man I read a lot at work.

I moved more stuff over during the day and decided to just empty every box in my room on the floor. It is a huge mess, covered in wires, clothes and stuff all around. I have created trails so I can get around. The reason was that I want to organize and purge a lot of items and the only way to do this properly is to get them of their boxes where they have been hidden for, in some cases, years.

I don't have a bed, so I'm sleeping on Rino's air mattress. My neck hurts a bit this morning, but it isn't too bad. So I brought Koki over to her new house last night. She was not happy about the trip and took some time to get used to the place. They really liked Oscar's house, so I can tell they are not yet happy with this new place, plus I'm sure they don't know if this is a stop or their new home. Each time they get comfy, I go and change things up on them. I guess it is kind of like life.

would I rather be angry or sad...most likely, neither

Long Awaited

"Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves." -Italian Proverb

It is pretty amazing what I can do when I put my mind to it. As I have mentioned, I got the keys to the house early, but there were so many things to set up. So I got working. Friday I got cable and internet moved to Tuesday the 15th and had to negotiate a reduction of over 70 bucks on the installation fees. Then I delegated to Rino to get the electricity going, which he got for Monday, and Abram to get the gas up, which he got for Tuesday. I feel bad because I was on their asses calling and texting each half hour, but it was Friday and I knew we needed to act quick. We also needed a fridge, yet we didn't have much money. I got out of work early and purchased a fridge from an apartment complex that was changing appliances. I got it for a hundred bucks and though it needs some cleaning, it will do the trick. I wasn't done yet. I then went to the post office and put in the paperwork for our mail keys. Finally I went by the house, dropped off the fridge (alone mind you) and found the garage door openers. Everything is coming together. All we have left is sewer (how does that work?), trash, name change for water (it's working) and well the actual moving. I'm sure I'm forgetting something (like all my stuff from Edinburg). This move will officially make me an Austinite.

Why I love the Daily Show. Look at their Documentary on Fox News.
The Rise and Fall of Fox News.

Part I:

Part II:

While I was moving some stuff on Saturday night, I noticed the darnest thing. I saw a man walking his dog on a horse. The dog, horse and man all seemed very happy. Only in Texas. I think it was that moment, and the one where I drove into my neighborhood which has cows and horses in the front when it just made clear how very much I am in Texas.

I was going to go out Saturday night, but I took the night to myself. I needed it and though I had planned on drinking, I ended up just using the time to think and reflect on the fact that now, almost a year later, I'm in Austin for real.

of course I get let out early this Friday

The Keys

"Well you came and you gave without taking
but I sent you away, oh Mandy
Walked away when love was mine
Caught up in a world of uphill climbing
The tears are in my mind
And nothing is rhyming, oh Mandy." - Barry Manilow, Mandy

Today is another day, just like any other, but yet completely different. I've made the decision to not go home this weekend and instead stay here to move into my new place. Other than reasons not discussed, I just can't afford it. At least I am making a responsible decision. I was able to work out a cool deal where I got my keys early. I'll move stuff I think, but I don't see myself living there without a bed, power, cable, internet...or a fridge. I really can't wait until payday.

This weekend on the 12th there will be a lot of reason to be celebrating. It's a good thing and despite events I'm not too happy with, great things have happened to people around me. I'll be sure to have a drink and make a toast to good fortune. I wonder what I will be doing? Probably moving boxes.

After work I listened to the radio rather than used the phone, and waited for a call from my landlord. I met up with her husband later at my new apartment/house. I had the keys in hand and it felt great. The guy was really cool and we actually got along well. He plays poker and has a regular game. Luck would have it, his wife (our landlord/property manager) is really good at poker. He invited me to play anytime. It is always nice when good things happen. So I surveyed the home. The power was off, so there will not be any premature move in until that is turned on. It made the house really hot. I looked at all the space and really felt blessed. I then went upstairs to my ridiculously huge master bedroom, with a bath the size of another room, a walk in closet and my own balcony. I actually wish the balcony was attached to the upstairs living room because I see Rino and Abram getting better use out of it than me. It would be a good place to read though. Considering I have no bed and don't have a trip home for a long while, I think I'm going to get an air mattress to sleep on for the time being. There is so much stuff to move, I do get kind of tired just thinking about it. I'm so comfy at Oscar's house.

Blink by Malcolm Galdwell is a great book I read about 4 years ago. I got this from an article he wrote on it.

"People are in one of two states in a relationship," Gottman went on. "The first is what I call positive sentiment override, where positive emotion overrides irritability. It's like a buffer. Their spouse will do something bad, and they'll say, 'Oh, he's just in a crummy mood.'

Or they can be in negative sentiment override, so that even a relatively neutral thing that a partner says gets perceived as negative. In the negative sentiment override state, people draw lasting conclusions about each other. If their spouse does something positive, it's a selfish person doing a positive thing.

It's really hard to change those states, and those states determine whether when one party tries to repair things, the other party sees that as repair or hostile manipulation. For example, I'm talking with my wife, and she says, 'Will you shut up and let me finish?' In positive sentiment override, I say, 'Sorry, go ahead.' I'm not very happy, but I recognize the repair. In negative sentiment override, I say, 'To hell with you, I'm not getting a chance to finish either. You're such a bitch, you remind me of your mother.'"

As he was talking, Gottman drew a graph on a piece of paper that looked a lot like a chart of the ups and downs of the stock market over the course of a typical day.

What he does, he explains, is track the ups and downs of a couple's level of positive and negative emotion, and he's found that it doesn't take very long to figure out which way the line on the graph is going. "Some go up, some go down," he says. "But once they start going down, toward negative emotion, ninety-four percent will continue going down. They start on a bad course and they can't correct it. I don't think of this as just a slice in time. It's an indication of how they view their whole relationship."

Source: http://www.enotalone.com/article/3935.html

Last night there was a terrible storm. It was almost like the weather was matching the way I was feeling. I wasn't able to get to sleep until 3am or so. In the morning, I went to feed the cats and only Mia showed up. That started to worry me. The only time this happens is when the cats knock over the food and have eaten all night. This time Koki was nowhere to be found and I looked. I left for work because I was running late. I found myself texting Abram to ask him to find Koki for me. He texted me back to tell me she was chillin on the couch. I was just amazed at how worried I got, the idea of something happening to her really got to me. Pets are a big deal I think.

No good mornings, no I'm out, no goodnight, all the surprises left unopened.

Lease on Life

"Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose - a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye." -Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, Frankenstein, 1818

This has been an eventful week. Wednesday, Rino and I signed our lease and we are getting ready to move into our new place. I'm enjoying the new computers at work, but it is much harder getting them all ready to go than I thought it would be. This Monday is my Mom's birthday. I'm not going to make it down this weekend to celebrate.

Coming after the other nights Countdown news show, similar thoughts to mine are summed up here: (http://www.talkleft.com/story/2008/4/7/202333/8404)

I remember when I was little and would watch Rush Limbaugh on TV. It was my first introduction to US politics and I learned that Democrats were evil and Republicans wanted you to be rich. I grew up to find that not only was he full of crap, but that he was really off the wall wrong and I was buying that shit. I was little, but that isn't an excuse, I still should of tried to think about what he was saying. I'm very careful of trusting people in that respect anymore. Now that I am a liberal, my favorite commentators are Jon Stewart, Bill Mahr, Colbert and Olbermann. Jon Stewart once made a comment about how people would tell him, "oh you are very funny, I love you, but that comment you made about that one thing, oh no that was wrong." He was making the point that people love you when they agree with you, but when you don't then you are not as funny. So my favorite thing about Bill Maher is that he takes a lot of unconventional views that I don't agree with at all. (ie racial profiling I think was one he alluded to a few years back.) But I respect his views and still learn a lot from him even though I'm not completely in the tank for him. Stewart, well he is great. This was really supposed to be about Kieth Olbermann (my Cornell Alumn) though. So I watch his show daily and agree with most of the wonderful points he has made. I'm so glad his show exists and that is where I get a lot of my news. Lately I was worried that maybe I'm just like those right wing idiots believing what I am told and not thinking for myself. The thing is, I do think for myself. So now that Olbermann is going crazy attacking the Clintons, (picking a topic I don't agree with), I'm so happy to see that I'm not blinded by my respect for Olbermann. Now I do listen to his arguments, and it is sometimes hard to get past the disdain to see his points objectively, but in the past, his disdain he had for the administration I shared, so I was able to move past it quickly. Now I'm not saying what he is saying is false, and right now I won't even say it is unfair. I have seen him defend Hillary from the Republicans, but also attack her as if she were one. What I would want, or what would make me feel better is if Olbermann would just say he doesn't support her and give his reasons why, instead of hinting at it every chance he gets. The guy is awesome, and I'll still watch him even when I don't agree, but when you are fighting monsters, you have to make sure you don't become one in the process. He sometimes comes off a bit Billo in my opinion when it comes to the Clintons. Note, this isn't just because I supported Clinton, I also support Obama and want him to be president more than anything.

Here is another article to add:
Gov. Rendell: ‘Keith Olbermann Should Be On The Obama Payroll’

It sucks when you know what the inevitable is and instead of watching it slowly creep your way, you choose to confront and rip off the band-aid because your naive beliefs were misplaced to begin with. Yeah, it does suck to feel like a fucking dope. You have the feeling of anger, sadness, disappointment and another lesson learned. If what you have is so weak that it can fall to something so abstract, then this is how it was meant to be. What really gets me is the idea of believing what a person is telling you. You feel like they are not being completely honest, but they tell you they are. Then you find out they were lying. Now, the truth is probably at the time they didn't know they were lying, but does that really matter? She was right, but I didn't listen. Maybe I knew all along. I guess it is better knowing.

contempt

The Courtesy to Give a Heads Up

"Of all the traps and pitfalls in life, self-disesteem is the deadlist and the hardest to overcome, for it is a pit designed and dug by our own hands, summed up in the phrase, 'It's no use_I can't do it.'" - Maxwell Maltz

I didn't go out of town this weekend. Friday night I was going to visit Abram at his work to get a drink, but I couldn't get anyone to go with me, so I decided I'd just relax at home. Saturday I watched the final four in HD, but wasn't as excited as I should of been. I saw some movies I had been wanting to see for some time. I still have a very long list to go. I haven't even touched my list of books. Sunday I watched the History Channel documentary on Martin Luther King, Jr. I highly recommend it. I might enjoy history more than others, but I think anyone would take away at from this. Monday night I watch the NCAA finals.


So in moving into this new place, we have to get all the utilities setup. So far I have cable ordered. We don't even move in for 2 more weeks. Instead of the cable DVR, we are going with TIVO, which I found on special for free, which is much better than the 20 bucks a month for a DVR I can't afford. So far it is great, but I'm just testing it, I won't really know how much I like it until we are in the new place. Next is electricity, gas, water and a gardener (ok, no gardener.) We are trying to make this as cost effective as possible. I'm excited, but man I'm going to miss living in Oscar's house. If I could, I would totally buy it from him, unfortunately, financially and credit wise I can't and secondly, it just isn't a good time to be buying a house right now, or is it selling?



April, 14th is is my Mom's Birthday. I am rarely home for her birthday. This year I'm going down to see her, but we have to celebrate on Sunday the 13th. It would of been the 14th if not for leap year, so I think that should count.




So I'm watching the news this weekend and nothing too interesting is on. I end up watching Ballot Bowl on CNN and then see this segment by a CNN Reporter discussing McCain's current tour around the country. He referred to this one high school student at a speech as a "heckler." I waited to watch her question and see what she had to say. Instead, she asked a straightforward, intelligent, honest, brave question. Not that she wouldn't have the right to her free speech, but this was nothing even remotely close to, "Don't Taze Me Bro!" I get pissed off and wonder if anyone else felt that this was messed up how it was portrayed. Then Sunday, I find this article on Crooks and Liars. Talk about expressing my sentiment so perfectly. Click the link below for the full text and video.



CNN Reporter Doesn’t Know The Difference Between A Legitimate Question & Heckling, Defends McCain. Again.


So as most people, I am getting a bit bored of the Clinton Obama race. Probably because of the lack of primaries. I have said it the past, I like them both, voted for Clinton and will be more than excited to have Obama as our next president. Now do I think Hillary can win at this point? I agree with the pundits that it is remote. Now do I think she should drop out? No. I'd rather see the final count and see how America decides and if neither has enough delegates, then give it to Obama who will have more of the popular vote. (Still hate the idea of superdelegates. That was stupid Democrats.) I don't think her running is hurting the party as much as all this infighting of telling her not to run. I don't agree with some of the attacks each has made on each other (usually via proxy), but it helps me learn more about my candidate. Well Bill Maher took up this issue on real time and I've enclosed his thoughts below.



Real Time with Bill Maher: Your Delegate Sensibilities
Play Video See Text Below

"And finally, new rule: If voting can destroy the Democratic Party, then the party isn’t very democratic. Democrats need to stop freaking out about how this long primary battle between two popular candidates needs to be “settled yesterday! Because the candidates are bloodying each other! They’re causing irreparable harm! Mommy and Daddy are fighting!” Hey you people need to reach into your teenager’s knapsack and pull out a Paxil or Prozac and chill out.
Democrats, your task is not just to choose between this pair, it’s to grow a pair. Now, I know the idea of a very close race brings up some pretty bad memories for Democrats, but these are Democratic primaries. There are no Republicans in this race, so there is nobody organized enough to actually steal the election. What is so terrible about a long, drawn out contest? A season of American Idol is, what, 87 weeks? That’s a lot of time just to pick out a cruise ship entertainer. This is the presidency we’re talking about. I understand that a lot of Democrats feel passionately about their candidate, and that’s great. But then their passion gets the best of them and they go on websites like DailyKos, and post stuff, like the Obama supporter, who wrote, “I will vote for Hillary, but then I will leave the country.” Yes, because who could live in a nation that elects the person that you just voted for?
And that is what is so great about the internet. It enables pompous blowhards to connect with other pompous blowhards in a vast circle jerk of pomposity. But that doesn’t mean I’m throwing my hat in for Hillary. For one thing, she would say I was shooting at her. And I know she’s going to have a tough time catching Obama, because he’s black and she’s not that fast. But this is America, we don’t call the election before we know who the real winner is. That, after all, is the job of the Supreme Court. "

Lots of news today: For those not keeping up with news this past month, here is a recap of the the mainstream media has found important.
Your MSM In Action

Glenn notes how well the media is doing its job:
"In the past two weeks, the following events transpired. A Department of Justice memo, authored by John Yoo, was released which authorized torture and presidential lawbreaking. It was revealed that the Bush administration declared the Fourth Amendment of the Bill of Rights to be inapplicable to “domestic military operations” within the U.S. The U.S. Attorney General appears to have fabricated a key event leading to the 9/11 attacks and made patently false statements about surveillance laws and related lawsuits. Barack Obama went bowling in Pennsylvania and had a low score.

Here are the number of times, according to NEXIS, that various topics have been mentioned in the media over the past thirty days:
“Yoo and torture” - 102
“Mukasey and 9/11″ — 73
“Yoo and Fourth Amendment” — 16
“Obama and bowling” — 1,043
“Obama and Wright” — More than 3,000 (too many to be counted)
“Obama and patriotism” - 1,607
“Clinton and Lewinsky” — 1,079

The sad thing is that the mainstream press really does believe that things like Obama’s poor bowling skills and the Clinton’s tax returns are more important stories than, say, the trillion dollar war that continues to rage on with no end in sight or a collapsing economy. Like Glenn says, people care about the petty stuff because the media loves to tell themselves that they do."

Now for the fun. Here were some recent jokes I enjoyed.

During a "Weekend Update" segment about Eliot Spitzer: "And you wanted to have sex with a hooker, but you didn't want to wear a condom? Really?!? That might not be scary if you were client number 1, but you were client number 9. I wear a condom if I'm ninth in line at the deli. " -Seth Meyers

"They say Hillary Clinton has a bad personality. Really? I forgot about Dick Cheney's wow factor." - Greg Proops

My mom says to me, "Honey, I don't want you to think I have diabetes because I'm fat. I have diabetes because it runs in our family." I said, "No, mom, you have diabetes because no one runs in our family!" - Carolyn Castiglia

"I'm still in my first marriage. I know, it's wrong to talk about it so temporary like that. My current husband hates it when I do that." - Ophira Eisenberg

"I had a bully as a kid. He was dyslexic, so he used to stick "Me Kick" signs on my back. Then everyone thought I was the bully - with bad grammar and the courtesy to give a heads up." - Josh Comers

This in an interesting stat. I'm a God loving Christian, but I don't feel Christians have any monopoly on morality.

"Seventy-five percent of Americans are God-fearing Christians; 75 percent of prisoners are God-fearing Christians. Ten percent of Americans are atheists; 0.2 percent of prisoners are atheists." (I should find the cite on this though.)

It has been a long time, but I finally went through the class of 98 high school reunion pictures. I didn't even know they were up. I missed the reunion because I chose to attend a friends wedding instead. I was kept up to date with the planning, but didn't really do too much to help, which I still kind of regret. I was impressed what they were able to pull off. I saw a lot of faces in the pictures that it took me a while to recognize and others that looked exactly the same. Everyone looked happy and proud to have graduated with our class. It looked like a fun time. I wonder when the next reunion is? 20 years?

moving to Austin

Full Circle

"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

There are days at work when I really feel like a lawyer. Namely when I'm able to prove another lawyer's argument wrong. (usually in a brief). The other time is when I meet with clients and I know what I am talking about and am able to provide a valuable service. We are getting new computers at work and I really excited about that. I got to choose and order them, which of course I enjoyed very much. Now we have to wait, and I'm not good at that. Also, moving my files over should be fun, and helping get Vista ready for me to use takes me some time as well. I'm starting to look at my personal office as just an extension of my life, like my other bedroom, but the one I work in. I need a new chair, but can't afford one right now. Mine is really cheap, but its a chair and it works.

Tuesday I had a doctor's appointment. It was a follow up for a physical that I had a while back. Last time my blood work turned up really high cholesterol. My doctor was worried, so he ordered that I eat better, etc. I thought it was an aberration and just tried to live my normal life. Well my results from my second blood test came in on Tuesday and my cholesterol jumped 5 more points. It is like old people high. Now I'm going to have to start taking medicine for that. Crazy huh? I do take responsiblity for this though and am not going to say, oh it's genetics...no, its my lifestyle.

Thursday, Erika got some great news. I was so happy and excited for her. It was something she had really wanted and had worked so hard for. I wish I could of been there to celebrate with her, but I'm sure the next time I see her we will celebrate a lot. It is nice to get something that could be potentially stressful out of the way. She now has a wonderful peace of mind and is excited about what is to come.

So Max has a dog house in the back yard. Well Abram's dogs have commandeered it and now Max sleeps outside while the other two sleep in his dog house. He is the smallest of the 3 and they have their own natural order so I stayed out of it. The sad part is when it rains, like it was this morning. Max is out in the rain getting all wet as I open the door and I see running from the dog house two very dry dogs thinking there might be food in store. Max does have this trick where he puts his head in the cat door and it stays dry while only his body gets wet. It is cute and sad at the same time. It is funny though, I wouldn't mind him being out in the rain if all 3 dogs were in the rain, but because two get to be dry, then it makes me feel bad a bit. Well you got to respect dominance, hopefully one day Max will grow up to over take his higher status friends. I hope they enjoy their new backyard.

This Saturday is my nephew Andrew's 18th birthday. Talk about being an adult. Even though he still has a lot to learn about being a man (as do most of us), it is amazing how fast kids grow up. When Abram was 18, I was in college and he was drinking with us at a bar. Andrew is going to be the first grandchild to graduate from high school and go to college. I'm sure he will have a lot of celebrating in store for the weekend.

I was talking to my grandmother the other day about how things were going. I was telling how that for the part things were very positive, but that there were some things that I worried about (debt and health choices), and I tend to over internalize them making the effect of the worry much worse than what I actually think it is. Her answer (second to the one involving God) was just not to worry about it. Her line was, "Don't think so much. Besides, one day we are here and the next day we are not." Of course this was all in spanish and that is the best translation I can put to it. It was so simple, but so much more helpful than the, "don't worry bout it" advice. It is hard sometimes because I don't want her to worry about me since things for me really great.

So many things have changed from being in college 7 years ago. The way I imagined my life is exactly like I had planned. I'm a lawyer working for a firm, I'm living in Texas and I have a dog. Then there are the things I didn't expect. I thought I would be rich by now (though that I dropped the ball on), thought I would own a house, my BMW, and own a lot more suits. I also thought I would think really differently, but other than maturing, I don't feel like a person who could be a dad. I'm really lucky though and very much realize it.

emotionally mature