My three day weekend is now over. Memorial Day weekend is always one where I don't know how to feel at times. May 28th is my sister Veronica's birthday. I should be keeping track of how old she would be each year, but in my mind she will always be 29. I never know how to celebrate, I mean birthday's are a day to celebrate life and its the one day of the year that belongs to that person. This was her day and I don't know what to do. I can't just buy her a present or a card like I could my family, I can't do anything it feels like, but I can remember her and make it a point to think about her more. What did end up making my day was an email from my niece Rebekkah reminding it was her mom's birthday. That small moment is the moment that I'll take away from the day.
May 30th is Abram's birthday. I've made it down for a lot of his birthdays but this year the timing didn't work out. He was able to go home and spend the weekend with the family so that was good.
May 29th was my friend Julia's 21st birthday. We went out on Sunday night. Mark came with me and we had a very good time. I had given up drinking after my trip home, but I picked right back up pretty easily. We got to hang out with her friends and it was a nice time. By the end of the night we were pretty drunk. Mark and I jump into a cab and ask him to drive us to the McDonalds by our house. Now, our plan was to get food and walk the half mile home downhill. I sobered up enough to remember you walk through a drive through, so we asked the taxi to drive threw for us. We had to pay him more, but never in my life had I ordered fast food in the back of a taxi drunk. Since we were paying more, we just had him drive us home, which was probably the best decision.
I played a lot of poker this weekend. I'm working on getting a lot of experience while reading poker books on my downtime. Mark is getting really good, but his tight agressive play plus his larger bankroll are helping him move up the ranks really quickly. He was close to qualifying for the world series of poker this weekend. I'm trying to master the small stakes tables and then work my way up. I really need to work harder at this since once school starts in August, I won't have anymore time for liesure reading until after the bar exam.
On memorial day, Shawna had a bbq at their new place. It was nice, not the best of neighborhoods, but only a few blocks away from where I live. The house was great though, much nicer than the one I live in. They are really great about doing fun stuff like that.
I'm financially in dire straights. I've dug a hole that is going to take me 10 years to get out of. I've always banked on my potential earning capacity as my justification, but the truth of the matter is that I have been irresponsible. I've never worried about my student debt and just run it up as much as I can, but that in itself is a problem, but still not one I'm going to worry about. I see people who manage their money well and are frugal and smart and I feel like I don't have that self control. I made a comment about trying to stay out of default until I can sit for the bar so that I get a chance to sit for the bar, but someone told me that staying out of default shouldn't be my end goal. That is when it started to hit me how my approach is like quicksand. I don't have a solution, but need to start seeing it as a problem.
selfish
No comments:
Post a Comment