Thursday night I drank alone. It was my mini graduation celebration I guess. I had half a bottle of Johnny Walker Black and hell if I didn't deserve it. It is never a good sign to drink alone, but I think this made for a good exception. I got drunk and watched my tv shows. It was not as uplifting and celebratory as one would think. The morning did not feel good.
Friday night I met up with Bob and Angie for Marty Extravagnaza. Mark finished finals today also, so he is now a 2L. We pretty much went out to Georgetown, drank and hung out. They are such great people. I am really going to miss them. When I think of people I consider good friends, they are on that short list. Bob and Angie both told me that they wished I would stay, and though I feel that way too...I just know I need to go somewhere to start over. Somewhere without memories that I can't shake, somewhere I can set down roots in. Maybe that is just how I deal with things, by running away/running towards things, but a fresh start always makes you feel like there are all kinds of opportunties.
You learn a lot of things from your parents. You learn about faith, that no matter what life brings, faith is the most important thing and everything will be ok. You learn that you should think, that thinking and doing what you feel is right is more important than getting what you want. Not everything you learn is right, but it is sometimes such a part of you, separating it from how you think isn't easy. I am lucky for the lessons I have learned as I try to sort the ones I should keep and the ones I should dispell.
You know what is fun to do, well relatively fun, going back and reading entries I wrote years ago. There are so many I usually just randomly come upon them, today one that had Notebook quotes, mind you before I knew how manly liking that movie made me. Some of my entries were funny and made me laugh. My first thought was, man I haven't matured much in the last few years. Maybe one day I should read all my entries starting from the beginning, that would be an undertaking. The only problem with looking back is by reading, somehow it brings me to that place emotionally as well, it is hard to explain.
I was reading a friend's blog today and I found out that a good friend of mine from college is getting married very soon. I'm so happy for Karyna, but sad that I lost touch with her and have no clue what is going on in her life. I wonder what path she took, and how things turned out. I've come to accept that I can't keep in touch with everyone, but it doesn't mean I can't work harder at keeping up to date generally. There is a lot I can say about Karyna, as a friend she taught me lessons that I probably still don't utilize today, but what I'll never forget is that the way a person seems on the outside isn't always how they are in the inside. You may not understand the person on the inside, but that is because everyone, though so similar, are still so very different.
a better way
No comments:
Post a Comment