Opportunity

"The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well." -Joe Ancis

We all have our quirks. Maybe the more you get to know someone the less normal they become. Maybe the more normal they actually become. I'm ok with that. I think this is why it is sometimes hard to let someone in.

I like learning lessons and enjoy lists. Here are some good ones I felt applied to a lot of people I know including myself. Harriet Braker, Phd wrote a book in 2001 about women's need to please entitled The Disease to Please.

The Ten Commandments of People Pleasing

1. I should always do what others want, expect, or need from me.
2. I should take care of everyone around me whether they ask for help or not.
3. I should always listen to everyone's problems and try my best to solve them.
4. I should always be nice and never hurt anyone's feelings.
5. I should always put other people first, before me.
6. I should never say "no" to anyone or let others down in any way.
7. I should never disappoint anyone or let others down in any way.
8. I should always be happy and upbeat and never show any negative feelings to others.
9. I should always try to please other people and make them happy.
10. I should try to never to burden others with my own needs or problems.

No one could realistically live this way. This sets you up for manipulations by guilt and obligation. Some of these things make so much sense to me. I should read her book. She has another cool list I that I feel applies more so to me.

The Seven Deadly "Shoulds" for other's behavior

1. Other people should appreciate and love me because of all the things I do for them.
2. Other people should always like and approve of me because of how hard I work to please them.
3. Other people should never reject or criticize me because I always try to live up to their desires and expectations.
4. Other people should be kind and caring to me in return because of how well I treat them.
5. Other people should never hurt me or treat me unfairly because I am so nice to them.
6. Other people should never leave or abandon me because of how much I make them need me.
7. Other people should never be angry with me because I would go to any length to avoid conflict, anger, or confrontation with them.

These are good lists I think, what I should do about it, well that I'm not completely sure about because I know the opposite isn't the answer. Just something to ponder.

So here is the big news for today. Maybe I should of lead with it. I was offered a job today! I am excited and scared at the very same time. It will be good for me though. The work day starts at 8am which is going to be tough for me, but it is time to grow up. I start tomorrow, talk about getting thrown right into it. I don't know what to expect, but I know we have trial next week so that should make an interesting start. I'm starting off as a law clerk for a small firm, but if I pass the bar I'll be on the associate track which is a situation where my own self motivation will govern my future.

We got our 2nd ACL ticket today for Saturday. So I am going to ACL. I am excited and am very thankful to Ericka for taking me. It is so kind and thoughtful of her. Now I need to start listening to the bands I want to hear. Marty outdoors for an entire day, it is going to be hard.

everyone has a past, right now is what matters