The Impossible

"Impossible situations can become possible miracles.”- Robert H. Schuller

The Cornell Basketball team is playing amazing, and I'm not just saying that because they are my college team. They not only beat Temple on Friday, but also proved to be the Bigger Red against Wisconsin on Sunday to move into the Sweet 16 of the NCAA tournament. Cornell had never won an NCAA tournament game in the history of the school. They are now playing Kentucky, the best team in the tournament and this is their last chance for a while because Cornell's team is mainly seniors. As one player put it, "after this it's all babies and memories." Cornell is America’s darling Cinderella team in this tournament and I will be pulling for them to pull their biggest upset yet on Thursday night. That said, I threw my bracket out long ago due to all the upsets and it was well worth it. I like that a lot of underdogs have been winning. March Madness is my favorite part of college basketball.

I stayed up Sunday night watching the news as the Historic Healthcare Bill passed the House. I know the Senate still has to pass the fixes, but it really brought joy and hope to my heart. I wanted more, some Americans wanted less, but none of this changes the fact that the Democratic-controlled Congress just approved historic legislation Sunday night extending health care to tens of millions of uninsured Americans while cracking down on insurance company abuses. Check out this great discussion: How Will Health Care Reform Affect You? - Newsweek.

I think the philosophical debate is whether healthcare should be a right or a privilege. I'm on the side that thinks that it is a right. Others do not agree with me, and some make good arguments. The day we as a society decided that people can show up to a hospital and not be denied care, I think we decided that healthcare was more than just a privilege. We are a long way from universal healthcare coverage, but at least we took a step forward as a nation. So, Sarah Palin, this is the "changey" part of that "hopey changey thingy." This debate really brought out the worst in people, preyed on their fears and biases. I know they call them "isolated" instances, but there are too many for my tastes. Politics is a science now and how can you blame people for getting upset when they are fed purposefully crafted phrases like "government takeover" to describe insurance regulation. This sweeping generalization does not discount the fact that there is a debate to be had over the details, over the best way to improve our system, and the many legitimate concerns on the left and the right. I just personally feel that we are a whole lot better off now than what we had just a few days ago. I hope this bends the cost curve and if you don't think it will, well then try to make it better. I am also just one small voice in this debate, but this will have an important impact on my life. I also think it is a great tribute to Ted Kennedy.

On a tangentially related note, I finally filed my taxes and I feel like I paid a lot this year. I gues anything feels like a lot. I do not blame people for hating taxes in the least, but if my taxes are going to be spent on wars and to line the pockets of defense contractors, then I'd rather my money also go to social programs for people truly needing it, like the unemployed -- Also for roads, bridges, fire departments, etc. Too bad I don't get to pick and choose what I think is legit and what is not. I really do hope waste can be cut. That said, no big refund for me this year. I know I said it last year, but this coming year I'm paying an expert to do my taxes for me.

I finally saw Shutter Island. I thought it was a great Martin Scorsese film. This psychological mystery-thriller film was not just impressive because of the plot, but because of how it made you feel during the course of the movie. A film that can evoke that much suspense and thought is really doing something right. I've read mixed reviews, mainly centering around its ending. I thought the last line from the movie was amazing.

I have purchased my plane tickets to Kentucky for my friend Mark's wedding in June. All my friends are growing up. I'm looking forward to it and to meeting his fiancée. It is funny how you can know a lot about a person, but not yet have met them. I had just moved away from DC when she was moving there. I've heard really great things. I think I'm the most excited about visiting the Maker's Mark factory. Excuses to travel to new places is always fun.

Today feels like the type of day you would like to throw a surprise party for a loved one. A quiet day in the middle of the week where friends join together to celebrate a person's special day. For those of you that watch HIMYM, I guess I have the Marshall black tie party in my mind from last night. I'm a big fan of birthdays I guess. My mind drifts away like that.

like a furnace

Impressions

"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live." - Oscar Wilde

This week varied from my usual routine. On Thursday, I had a legal writing seminar downtown. I really need to focus on my writing and the hardest part is re-learning grammar rules and starting from the ground up. I admit it isn't very exciting, but I'd like to be a better writer. The class was great and more so provided the tools and motivation to improve my writing rather than teaching enough material in one day. I even won a book while I there for answering a question, which made me feel wonderful. Now we will see if I take the time to review the materials and begin my own self study. Not only will this help me professionally, it will also help me in my efforts to do other types of writing I enjoy.

Sxsw has been going on all week here in Austin and my friend Marisa from the Valley came into town with a few of her friends to check it out. I met up with them Thursday after I was done with my seminar. I was fighting off a sinus infection, but it's rare that I'm downtown and I didn't want to pass up on catching up with an old friend so I toughed it out. The streets were packed with people and musicians were everywhere. Very alternative looking crowd. It was quite the festive atmosphere and I can see why it is such a strong draw. My friend Christina was supposed to come out that night with her cousin, but those plans fell through. It probably worked out for the best considering she had to work the next morning.

We met up for pizza after they got out of a show where I got to meet Marisa's friends Robert and Debbie. They are good people and I'm glad I met them. I hope I made an impression. We saw some live music in a bar for a while and rested a bit since they had just spend hours standing in the front row at a concert where Marisa had a pick given to her by a band member. There was a lot of walking involved considering how many venues had things going on. After enough time on 6th street, I took them down to west 6th street and we saw a band that had a real life harp. I'm talking full sized angel harp. The band was very good and I regret not catching their name. Marisa's description of her weekend at this point was that it was something only Austin could provide. I paraphrase badly because my memory is hazy. We next headed to an Irish pub, a day after St. Paddy's, on Robert's request. He really enjoyed their beer selection and we had the usual chats about life experiences that men have when drinking. Robert told me that he heard they planned to close soon. I hope that is not true. Marisa introduced me to fried pickles, of which I am thankful. Debbie and I found out that we had very different opinions on the use of pre-judging people based on limited data, but a lot was learned on my part. I was very impressed that they were able to stay out all day and after the pub we called it a night. They were heading back the next day.


Friday I had a sinus infection so I stayed home from work. I reference my exact aliment because I'm proud of myself for figuring out that it was not a cold, the flu, or allergies. WebMD you are a good friend and probably make me a bad patient. I had missed Thursday already, so I'm sure that I'm going to have a lot of work when I return on Monday, but it is hard to think when you are feeling this sick. I curse this immune system, but its of my own making. For the most part, I'm actually a lot healthier than I used to be, but it is not easy to tell. Friday was mainly a blur.

I did watch Cornell play in the first round of the NCAA tournament with some alumni. The team was amazing and made quick work of Temple. It felt great to be proud of my alma mater and cheer for my Big Red. Especially considering Texas broke my heart the night before. I met some interesting people and one in particular who so jovial and energetic that it was really a pleasure to get to know her. A kind person with a genuine smile really makes a good impression. Unfortunately, I was trying so hard to not look deathly ill that I probably came off as very quiet. It was a good experience.

I wanted so badly to spend the rest of my weekend out on the town enjoying free concert after free concert, but instead I spent it at home recovering. Luckily for me, there the NCAA tournament was on, so that kept me somewhat distracted. My bracket is so busted I don't even bother looking at it anymore. I also got in some reading, which I'm noticing that I'm doing less of lately.

I also saw the HBO replay of the Pacquiao boxing match at Cowboy's Stadium. Though I had hoped he would be fighting Mayweather, I thought it was an interesting enough fight. My favorite part of the fight was during the pre-fight when Max Kellerman said, “Pacquiao is – he’s the best show on TV. It’s not just comparing him to other athletes. It’s like you have to look for other comparisons. He’s like ‘Chappelle Show.’ You know, the best show on TV, and you want to enjoy him while he’s here. He’s like the political talk host Rachel Maddow. He’s so prepared. He’s so persuasive that he embarrasses the opposition. He’s a spectacle.” Such a great description.

get back up and try again

Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon

"The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterward." - Arthur Koestler

Monday night I saw John Mayer live in concert for the first time. It was a great show. I was surprised to see that it was much more about the music than the lyrics. The sound was awesome and it impressed me very much. I also enjoyed the show part of it. It has been a while since I have been to a concert where I knew all the songs that were going to be played. I remember when John Mayer first was getting to be known and a friend of mine told me he had seen him and even met him at some of the smaller venues in Austin. Those many years ago, I thought it would be cool to see him in Austin and it finally happened. You would not believe how many girls where there.

He even did a cover of Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. That was a nice surprise. Here is a video of that. He didn't get to my favorite part of the song, but it was still cool. I love that there are so many concerts in Austin.

Last Friday night, I went to see State Radio with Abram and Christina. They are an alternative rock band that I first saw at Austin City Limits, but that Abram has been a fan of for a long time. They inject a punk-influenced sound and politically charged viewpoint while staying true to the tenets of the band's chosen style, which infuses a blend of Roots-Reggae, Ska, Punk and Rock. They seem to care a lot about "inspiring public service" and "promoting human rights." I had a good time, but I don't know if I was that much of a fan of the venue. I was pretty tired from being out late the night before because of the stand up thing. After, we had a few drinks and hit a few bars. It was a good start to the weekend. I think I saw one of the morning DJs at a bar.

This Wednesday, the 10th, my niece Celeste turned two years old. She is my little sister Eliza's daughter. Those two years went by fast. I can say that of course because I didn't have to watch her every second for those 2 years making sure she was ok. Being a parent looks like a lot of work, but being an uncle is a lot more fun I think. I can't believe I've been an uncle for almost 20 years now. Celeste is a pretty awesome baby, but I know everyone thinks that about family, so I won't gush. I hear she has a problem with opening the refrigerator when no one is looking. It will probably be a while before she is old enough to remember these moments, but I think they have to shape who she is.

This past Sunday was the Austin Kite Festival, but it was postponed due to rain to this coming Sunday. I'm hoping to check that out. I hope people fight kites like in the Kite Runner, but I highly doubt it. That would be so cool. It also marks that Spring is here. The weather has been so nice and even though I'm not looking forward to the allergies, I'm enjoying the freshness of the cool air.

Sunday was the Oscars. I feel guilty for not really caring. I had seen most of the movies up for awards and thought it was awesome that Sandra Bullock won a razzie and an Oscar in the same year. I think best picture should have gone to Avatar. I get the reasons people dislike it, Pocahontas in Space, etc, but how can a movie revolutionize movie making, but not be the best movie of the year? I just fast forwarded through it to see the winners and finally just waited for the final list to come after. I wish I understood why Up in the Air was so highly regarded and why 500 Days of Summer was not nominated.

So most of that was journaling, so I figured I'd talk about a study to close.

Most of the studies I run across have to do with relationships for some reason and most seem to be negative. That isn't very good. Maybe I should read the Notebook or something more positive to get a brighter view on things. So according to AshelyMadison, a dating site for married people, Doctors, Stay-At-Home Moms Likely To Cheat: Survey. Here is why I found this survey interesting, here was the breakdown of professions:

For Men:
1. Physicians
2. Police Officers
3. Lawyers
4. Real Estate Agents
5. Engineers

For Women:
1. Teachers
2. Stay-at-home Moms
3. Nurses
4. Administrative Assistants
5. Real Estate Agents

Is it me or are these just stereotypical jobs for each gender? Of all those, the survey said that doctors and teachers are most likely to cheat. I know a few of those. This whole survey doesn't seem to be very helpful or say anything too important. That said, this isn't really scientific I don't think, so it seems more like an advertisement for the website. I wonder if a husband and wife and have found eatch other on this site? It could be like a modern day version of that song, Escape by Rupert Holmes, "do you like pina coladas?" I never got that song, they both were trying to cheat on each other and it was sweet because they did it with each other. Relatedly, Plan B: Fallback Birth Control Gaining Popularity.

is to see how far I fall

Little Did I Know

"If words are to enter men's minds and bear fruit, they must be the right words shaped cunningly to pass men's defenses and explode silently and effectually within their minds. " - J.B. Phillips

Thursday night, I tried my hand at stand up for a second time. I wrote a whole new set than the first time I tried it (with the help of Abram). Christina gave me editorial pointers and came out to support me that night even though I went on pretty late. It was a great time. I wasn't too nervous, but nervous enough to skip my first joke where I talk about being the guy at the party who doesn't remember people's names so I have to call them "man, buddy and champ." I'm still learning how to write this stuff and how to perform it, but I think it is a lot of fun. So here is the video that Abram took last night so you can see the set yourself.

Funny how I'm more nervous about posting the video than about standing in front of a crowd. I tried to get some advice from some comics there and I was told to cut the fat and get to the jokes. I'd like to learn to write a story which is long list of jokes. The story telling part is what I think seems the most fun about it. There were a lot of comics that night that I thought were amazing and others that were pretty bad. The ones that confused me were the ones that were supposed to be good, but that I didn't find very funny at all. I've seen some of them multiple times and yet I still don't see why they are highly regarded. Maybe it is a matter of taste.

So you want to see my practice video I made at home before the show? The video alone might be comical since I use a lint brush as a mic. At least in my practice run, I didn't miss a joke. I'm also more happy with my last joke. I need to decide if I want to keep trying stand up or if I got it out of my system. As of right now, it still feels like a neat hobby. If I do it again, it is going to be with new material because the writing process is almost as fun as the part where you share it.

In DVD watching news, I finally saw the movie The Boondock Saints. It was a huge cult hit and even though Abram owned it, I had yet to sit down and see what the big deal was. It is a 1999 crime thriller film about two brothers who become vigilantes. The Boondock Saints gained a following mostly thanks to word of mouth publicity and was a bestseller when it was released on DVD. I found the movie to be entertaining action wise, but somewhat corny and unfunny. The reason I saw it recently was because I wanted to watch The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day. Now this one, filmed 10 years later, made the original seem awesome. It had its moments, but the jokes and acting just seemed intentionally bad. If that was supposed to be the case then the joke went over my head. I'm glad I'm caught up pop culture wise on this though. Now there is a documentary that I'm looking forward to watching called Overnight, about the making of Boondock Saints, which I hear is even better than the movie. Can't wait to see it and finish out this trinity.

Here is an unexciting and completely random confession, when I write emails, I never put an email address into the To: field until I am done and read to send. I have this fear that one day I'm going to click send before I meant to and am going to send an embarrassing unfinished message. Especially when you cut and paste from another email you wrote or you have stuff written you plan to delete. Maybe I just generally have a fear of people seeing behind the curtain.

It was a heavy news day for me, but the last thing I found that I don't believe is that theAverage Handbag Weighs 23 Pounds. Based the results of a OnePoll survey, the average handbag weighs 23 pounds, the same amount as a small child. What do you women carry in there? Would you say this is true?

This video is very wrong, but still very funny. Should We Be Shaming Obese Children? (VIDEO) - The Onion does some great work.

Jokes aside, this is a real problem. Obese children as young as three years old show signs of future heart disease, say US researchers. http://bit.ly/9sY6a9 Twenty percent of black and Hispanic children ages 2 to 19 are obese, versus 15 percent of whites. Is it a quality of food issue or a lifestyle issue? I don't know, but I think there is a difference between being too chubby and being obese. Adults have this problem too, I'm not immune, but we can take responsibility for our own actions, but kids I think need supervision when it comes to food. I know I'll probably be the worst parent in this regard though, I mean my pets are overweight and they can't even talk and make me feel bad for not getting them a happy meal.

I'm a huge fan of studies as you can tell and I just read this article on Gawker: Science Proves: Marriage Is Dead. "New data shows that more babies were born in the US in 2007 than ever before. Good news for matrimony? Ha! "Births to unmarried women in 2007 increased to the highest levels ever measured." And the cohabitation data shows that "By the beginning of the last decade, a majority of births to unmarried women were to mothers who were living with the child's father. Just two decades earlier, only a third of those births were to cohabiting couples. In short, everyone is getting more comfortable just moving in together and having a baby and just chilling." I've seen this trend among some of my friends as well, but personally I could care less about whether parents are married or just together. Personally, I think I would rather be married than have a kid with my girlfriend. Though as I have gotten older, I can understand not getting married with a person just because you have a kid. That all said, I've clearly chosen not to go down the married route, nor the kids route.

A new study also shows that "The likelihood that a marriage would last for a decade or more decreased by six percentage points if the couple had cohabited first"—yet despite this, more couples than ever are cohabiting. I have lots of opinions on this, but I wonder if making decisions based on trends and statistical probabilities is the best way to pursue life choices? Shouldn't the individual decision be looked at and not the outcome? Then again, we all think we are special. Our long distance relationship will work out. Everything in theory is easy, but I know how it feels when you spend all your time with a person and it just makes sense to live together even though neither you wants to get married. Maybe it isn't the greatest decision long term, but it definitely has its short term benefits. My theoretical plan is to only let a girl move in once we are engaged. (I feel like I'm 22 thinking these things.) That way, there is at least some pseudo commitment before I give up my last bit of freedom.

I'm thinking of checking out that new show on HBO called How to Make it in America. It has the main guy from October Road in it. It is NYC based and at first it didn't interest me much, but I trust HBO and it is only 30 minutes.

Back in 2007-2008, I was a fan of the show October Road. I thought it had great writing and each week I watched with much interest to find out if they would say his book was about exactly. Like many shows I tend to like, it ended up getting canceled well before its time. The show didn't even get a proper ending. Recently, I found out that the DVD for Season 2 had a 15 minute series finale that they put together last minute. I need to see that. Then I found out that both Beautiful Girls and October Road were written by the same guy, Scott Rosenberg, and that it was semi-autobiographically based on his life and friends. October Road is loosely based on events following the release of Beautiful Girls. That is one of my favorite movies and maybe it explains why I was such a big fan of October Road. If you have not seen Beautiful Girls, rent it today. It is where I first met a young Natalie Portman. I'm excited about getting my hands on that 15 minute finale for October Road.

Speaking of Beautiful Girls, I have one more study that I thought made perfect sense. Beautiful Women Make Men More Accident Prone: Study. Men become accident prone at the sight of a beautiful woman, scientists say. Research shows that just looking at an attractive female makes them more likely to indulge in 'physical risk-taking' which results in embarrassing failure or even injury. Haven't we all learned this growing up? Stop showing off for her, my mom would tell me as a kid. I think I will agree with this because if a girl says something crazy like, let's go sky diving, I'm more willing to entertain the idea than if a buddy of mine says it. On the bright side, beautiful women inspire men to be gallant and when not done for stupid purposes, like thinking you are defending her honor at a bar when drunk, I think it makes for a better society.

tortured romantic lead archetype

Procedural Win

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful." - Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Grey, Chapter 2, pg. 21.

I had quite the weekend. Friday night I played poker with some friends and even though it had been a long time since I played, I didn't do too bad. I had a very good time. I need to talk less about poker and more about life when I play. I have this thirst for learning the game and how others play, but the constant talk about strategy gets annoying I admit. That all said, I met some pretty cool guys. I don't have a lot of friends my age who are married and it is like we are living in parallel worlds, one with responsibility and one without that maturity. I did not win, but was happy to be invited. Nothing like a good poker night to start off a weekend.

On Saturday, a friend of mine came into town and we pretty much just bar hopped in Austin for most of the day and night. I can not drink the way I used to. It is always interesting getting to know people so much different than yourself. I didn't get to try the wings I was told about, but things don't always turn out the way you expect. We almost ended up at a cage fight, but we couldn't get the contact info from the poster at the bar. I learned a few good lessons, but its always better to learn from mistakes than to just watch as events pass you by. The trip made me appreciate Austin.

Sunday was the end of the Winter Olympics and even though I didn't watch too much, I was excited to see the US/Canada gold medal hockey game. It was an exciting game and I had hope the US would pull it off in sudden death. It was amazing how they tied up the game with just seconds to go. Canada played hard and was ultimately victorious in overtime. It was a well earned win, but in the US's defense, they won the first match up. I guess 1-1 doesn't mean much when the one you lost was the gold medal game. It is not fair, they get healthcare, couldn't we at least get a gold medal for our hockey team.

I read an article on Rachel Maddow that summed up my feelings for her exactly. "I think I'm in love with Rachel Maddow." This brilliantly written piece by Brian Donnovan took the words from my heart and put them down on paper. Here are some of my favorite parts, " You can ask people to be smarter without making them look stupid, and this is Rachel’s gift. I loved the way she reported the news, no more no less.... Now I know what you’re saying: how can you fall in love with a woman who is not only uninterested in your entire gender, but also doesn’t know you exist? That’s a good point. I had trouble with that one myself." I don't like the part where he said, "she won’t refuse to date you just because you’re not a woman." I take it out of context a bit, but it kind of doesn't fully respect the fact she is gay and no matter how much one loves her, she isn't attracted to men. I know it was tongue in cheek and it doesn't take away from the fact that the entire article is gold. She is the kind of woman anyone would be lucky to be with even just for a dinner conversation. An awesome person to have as a best friend. As my friends know, I too am in love with Rachel.

I also know that I'm a big fan because she is liberal, but I really think it has to do more with how smart she is. There are conservatives who I respect who are very intelligent, yet who I disagree on many issues such as Joe Scarborough, Reihan Salam, George Will, Ron Paul, and a lot of not so well known people I have met through work and life. There are also many others that I just don't know about and am always happy to learn about.

I read an article on 3D sidewalk art. I had never heard of it, but it is awesome. 3D Sidewalk Art That Will Blow Your Mind (PHOTOS) It is amazing how real some of the art work looks. There are even videos on YouTube showing how they draw it. Here is a cool example that I thought was clever:

I had a great conversation with a friend last week about purchasing a home and money. I very much value her expertise in both areas and she shared some important advice and insight. I am very appreciative of having good friends who are willing take the time to help me out. This is another area of my life I need to devote more time to.

I recently read this article preferences in human evolutionary history and found it extremely interesting. Intelligent People Have "Unnatural" Preferences And Values That Are Novel In Human Evolutionary History
"Higher intelligence is associated with liberal political ideology, atheism, and men's (but not women's) preference for sexual exclusivity. More intelligent people are statistically significantly more likely to exhibit social values and religious and political preferences that are novel to the human species in evolutionary history..."
I don't have a lot to say about it and don't know if I agree with it, but it gives you something to think about. I do wonder if there is a correlation between intelligence and fidelity in men. I would think it wouldn't matter at all.

Here is a battle that has been going on in my head. In poker you learn to make the best educated decision based on the information you have. Then when you make that move, there is still a probability you will lose. If it is a high probability move and you lose, you need to not learn a bad lesson from that and instead keep doing it over and over because in the long run you will come out a winner. The problem is when you make a move where you lose and it is a low probability play, but you think it is a high probability play. If you don't know that, then you are missing out on a good lesson and are doing a bad thing over and over with the stubborn belief that it will work out in the long run. Sadly you are wrong and it will just make you a losing player.

That is how I feel about a lot of things in life right now. The hands feel like they are coming up against me over and over and as I hold on to my confidence that my move was correct, I just keep doing the same thing over and over with the same negative outcome. So I need to make a decision, either I'm right and I need to have more confidence and faith and just keep on moving forward in doing the same thing, or I need to rethink my entire approach since that might be the flaw. It is so much easier to just do A and if you get a positive result to do A again and vice versa. I really don't know, but I do feel a bit lost and I just want to buck up and feel good about my choices and either win big or lose big. Or on the contrary, maybe it is time to reevaluate. Maybe that is a problem, always being willing to reevaluate instead of just having a plan and pushing forward no matter what. I love the fact that life is ours to do what we want with it and do not try to blame circumstance or luck, but my own decisions. Maybe some things are out of my control and I need to accept that. I know I think too much about things, I mean this paragraph should have ended long ago, but my mind keeps going. No decision is a decision and for right now all I can do it keep doing what I know.

buyer's remorse