Procedural Win

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful." - Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Grey, Chapter 2, pg. 21.

I had quite the weekend. Friday night I played poker with some friends and even though it had been a long time since I played, I didn't do too bad. I had a very good time. I need to talk less about poker and more about life when I play. I have this thirst for learning the game and how others play, but the constant talk about strategy gets annoying I admit. That all said, I met some pretty cool guys. I don't have a lot of friends my age who are married and it is like we are living in parallel worlds, one with responsibility and one without that maturity. I did not win, but was happy to be invited. Nothing like a good poker night to start off a weekend.

On Saturday, a friend of mine came into town and we pretty much just bar hopped in Austin for most of the day and night. I can not drink the way I used to. It is always interesting getting to know people so much different than yourself. I didn't get to try the wings I was told about, but things don't always turn out the way you expect. We almost ended up at a cage fight, but we couldn't get the contact info from the poster at the bar. I learned a few good lessons, but its always better to learn from mistakes than to just watch as events pass you by. The trip made me appreciate Austin.

Sunday was the end of the Winter Olympics and even though I didn't watch too much, I was excited to see the US/Canada gold medal hockey game. It was an exciting game and I had hope the US would pull it off in sudden death. It was amazing how they tied up the game with just seconds to go. Canada played hard and was ultimately victorious in overtime. It was a well earned win, but in the US's defense, they won the first match up. I guess 1-1 doesn't mean much when the one you lost was the gold medal game. It is not fair, they get healthcare, couldn't we at least get a gold medal for our hockey team.

I read an article on Rachel Maddow that summed up my feelings for her exactly. "I think I'm in love with Rachel Maddow." This brilliantly written piece by Brian Donnovan took the words from my heart and put them down on paper. Here are some of my favorite parts, " You can ask people to be smarter without making them look stupid, and this is Rachel’s gift. I loved the way she reported the news, no more no less.... Now I know what you’re saying: how can you fall in love with a woman who is not only uninterested in your entire gender, but also doesn’t know you exist? That’s a good point. I had trouble with that one myself." I don't like the part where he said, "she won’t refuse to date you just because you’re not a woman." I take it out of context a bit, but it kind of doesn't fully respect the fact she is gay and no matter how much one loves her, she isn't attracted to men. I know it was tongue in cheek and it doesn't take away from the fact that the entire article is gold. She is the kind of woman anyone would be lucky to be with even just for a dinner conversation. An awesome person to have as a best friend. As my friends know, I too am in love with Rachel.

I also know that I'm a big fan because she is liberal, but I really think it has to do more with how smart she is. There are conservatives who I respect who are very intelligent, yet who I disagree on many issues such as Joe Scarborough, Reihan Salam, George Will, Ron Paul, and a lot of not so well known people I have met through work and life. There are also many others that I just don't know about and am always happy to learn about.

I read an article on 3D sidewalk art. I had never heard of it, but it is awesome. 3D Sidewalk Art That Will Blow Your Mind (PHOTOS) It is amazing how real some of the art work looks. There are even videos on YouTube showing how they draw it. Here is a cool example that I thought was clever:

I had a great conversation with a friend last week about purchasing a home and money. I very much value her expertise in both areas and she shared some important advice and insight. I am very appreciative of having good friends who are willing take the time to help me out. This is another area of my life I need to devote more time to.

I recently read this article preferences in human evolutionary history and found it extremely interesting. Intelligent People Have "Unnatural" Preferences And Values That Are Novel In Human Evolutionary History
"Higher intelligence is associated with liberal political ideology, atheism, and men's (but not women's) preference for sexual exclusivity. More intelligent people are statistically significantly more likely to exhibit social values and religious and political preferences that are novel to the human species in evolutionary history..."
I don't have a lot to say about it and don't know if I agree with it, but it gives you something to think about. I do wonder if there is a correlation between intelligence and fidelity in men. I would think it wouldn't matter at all.

Here is a battle that has been going on in my head. In poker you learn to make the best educated decision based on the information you have. Then when you make that move, there is still a probability you will lose. If it is a high probability move and you lose, you need to not learn a bad lesson from that and instead keep doing it over and over because in the long run you will come out a winner. The problem is when you make a move where you lose and it is a low probability play, but you think it is a high probability play. If you don't know that, then you are missing out on a good lesson and are doing a bad thing over and over with the stubborn belief that it will work out in the long run. Sadly you are wrong and it will just make you a losing player.

That is how I feel about a lot of things in life right now. The hands feel like they are coming up against me over and over and as I hold on to my confidence that my move was correct, I just keep doing the same thing over and over with the same negative outcome. So I need to make a decision, either I'm right and I need to have more confidence and faith and just keep on moving forward in doing the same thing, or I need to rethink my entire approach since that might be the flaw. It is so much easier to just do A and if you get a positive result to do A again and vice versa. I really don't know, but I do feel a bit lost and I just want to buck up and feel good about my choices and either win big or lose big. Or on the contrary, maybe it is time to reevaluate. Maybe that is a problem, always being willing to reevaluate instead of just having a plan and pushing forward no matter what. I love the fact that life is ours to do what we want with it and do not try to blame circumstance or luck, but my own decisions. Maybe some things are out of my control and I need to accept that. I know I think too much about things, I mean this paragraph should have ended long ago, but my mind keeps going. No decision is a decision and for right now all I can do it keep doing what I know.

buyer's remorse