"Well, to say you stop loving someone you once loved more than anything else in the world would be a lie, but you move on, don't you, you have to move on." - Cal Lightman, Lie to Me, 6/21/10 "The Whole Truth"
Everyone wants that fairytale romance, but few people find it, and most come to believe it to be only an illusion. Mark and Ashley have found that in each other and it is more than apparent in the love that they share. I am so genuinely happy for both of them. Two impressive people and in the case of Mark, who I know well, a rare and great person.
In celebration of this love, this past weekend I went to Louisville, Kentucky for my friend Mark’s wedding, known as the Rainahey Wedding (Rainey-Donahey). Mark was my housemate from DC and I consider him one of my closest friends. I met Mark when I was working in DC. I had a good friend who quit work to go to law school in Miami, and Mark was hired in his place. I would joke to Mark that he was the new Fed and took my friend’s job. The more I got to know Mark, the more awesome I found him to be and it made sense when I was looking for a housemate to ask him. We lived together about a year before I decided to follow in my friend Fed’s footsteps and go to law school in Miami. One of the hardest parts about leaving friends behind in DC was not getting to hang out with Mark on a daily basis. That was harder the second time I left.
After a year away, I transferred back to DC to attend George Mason Law. Lucky enough, Mark was looking for a roommate, so we became housemates again. Mark had now moved up to this awesome job which even now I have trouble explaining. I spent the next two years in DC and my 3rd year of law school, Mark started his first year at George Mason Law. It was a blast.
The how is less important than how awesome of a friend Mark is. This guy is by far one of the smartest people I know. He possesses a gift for explaining really complicated things in simple ways. As I heard said about him at the wedding, he is the type of person that acts good even when nobody is watching. We had some great memories, from conversations about politics, Notre Dame and social interaction to hours and hours of talk and practice of poker. He was a natural and I learned so much from him. I even went to see him compete in the World Series of Poker. A great conversationalist, and a jack of all trades. When I moved to Texas shortly after law school, little did I know he about to meet the love of his life.
It is now three years that I have been away and it is his wedding, an event that I would not miss. I was honored to be asked to be a groomsman and looked forward to meeting the famous Ashley who Mark talked so fondly about. She was so special, I learned about her right after they met. They were smitten at first sight. The story is a good one, and you should read about it at their Wedding Site. You should start in the About Us section and work your way down.
As a visual background, here are my photos from the trip and wedding. http://www.flickr.com/photos/hyadus/sets/72157624375664938/ I can't wait to see the professional photos taken.
Friday morning, June 25th, I woke up at 4am to catch a flight to Louisville, Kentucky. I had to make a connection, but the trip wasn’t too long. Arriving in Louisville, I was greeted by an awesome Maker’s Mark advertisement. If you know me, you know this is my drink of choice. I was introduced to it in DC in about 2002 and it has been my go to bourbon ever since. I wouldn’t have time to visit the actual factory, but I’ll be back to dip my own bottle soon enough.
I stayed at the Seelbach Hilton which was an older swanky hotel. I’m a fan of hotel rooms for some reason. The first thing I did was walk around the downtown area seeing all the bars that they had in the 4th Street area. It was very much a sight during the day and I would soon find out quite the event at night.
Finally, I got to see Mark, and it was like picking up where we left off. Mark, Dan, and Mark’s childhood friend Mark P. all went to pick up our tuxes. We chatted and joked and I got the highlights from his bachelor party from the night before, and the, what I imagine to be, sordid stories about the fun at the bachelorette party. It was great seeing Dan as well, I met him and his wife Thea through Mark during law school. They are awesome individuals and then step it up a level as an awesome team. I spent a lot of time with them during the wedding and they are so gracious and fun.
After taking care of our tuxing and a driving tour of Louisville by Mark, we returned to the hotel and decided to get a quick bite to eat to hold us over. Dan took us to this hotdog stand called Red’s Comfort Food. I had, for the first time, a Chicago style hotdog and my life was forever changed. Ok, well not really, but it was a great hotdog.
Then it was time for the Rehearsal at the church. I suited up for what would be a fun night. This is where I got to meet the other Groomsmen, many who I had met before and many more who I knew many stories about and felt like I knew them. Mark and Dan dressed in Seersuckers since they are both Virginia lawyers. It was awesome.
This was the moment I finally got to meet Ashley. Talk about a lovely bride. I was finally able to put a voice and person to countless stories during their journey together. She looked wonderful and this was only the rehearsal. Looking at Mark in his seersucker and Ashley in her white rehearsal dress, it very well could have been their wedding day, but they were only a day away.
I also got to meet the other groomsmen and bridesmaids. There was Mark's brother Mike, John V., who I once visited with in DC, Brent, who created this love spark by introducing the two, Dave P. from DC who I was happy to hear was also engaged, and Mark P. who knew Mark since he was little.
After the church, it was time for the rehearsal dinner. They had a private room at Z’s Fusion and the food was fantastic. We got the long version of the best man and maid of honor speeches that were very touching. You learn a lot about people from the stories their friends share. Mainly in what great esteem they are held. The open bar was welcomed and I loaded up on bourbon since, when in Rome.
It was a great time to see a lot of people again and meet some new faces. I must say, Mark and Ashley carry some good company. All stellar people, who not only have ridiculous amounts of education and fantastic jobs, but genuinely good down to earth people. You always read that successful and happy people surround themselves with the same and this seems to be the case. Both their families were so gracious and accommodating. Both their parents had strong lasting relationships that provided great role models for their children. I enjoyed their stories.
The night progressed to a bar called Proof. It was an art gallery and a bar which made it interesting. It was very nice. Here I got to see everyone else, including Scott and Heather from law school, Jim and his wife Michelle (who is now a private practice doctor) and met some new friends as well. Bars close at 4am in Louisville, so when the night was called, I thought I would be going home to rest up.
Instead, as I was stumbling to the hotel alone, I walked through 4th Street and saw that everything was still going on. I noticed that they had a Howl at the Moon Piano bar, so I made my way there. I love a good piano bar. There were some folks from other weddings celebrating, so I hung out with them. It was a fun night and it felt great to be able to walk back to my room instead of worrying about the driving issue.
Saturday, June 26th, was the big day. I slept in to work off the night before and be adequately prepared for the night to come. I even ordered room service for breakfast. It was also the day before Ashley’s parents 40th wedding anniversary, which made the day that much more special for them.
I met up with everyone to watch the USA World Cup match at a bar and had some good conversations with Dan and Dave. Mark showed up and was a bit stressed. The most awesome thing was that he wasn’t stressed in the least about getting married, that he wanted more than anything, it was the event, the making sure he did everything right on this most perfect day.
We had to leave at half time to get tuxed up, so I watched the 2nd half from my room. I did not know I would soon be disappointed by the US. We made our way to the church and I caught the overtime on my phone slingplayer.
It was time for the wedding. I helped out as an usher and helped seat people. Dave P was great at this, a stand up gentleman, escorting people to their seats. I just told people which side was which. I walked to the back room where Mark was be sequestered and he was there with his best man reading a letter that Ashley had written about him. I watched as he was completely moved and then quickly left to let him finish. This moment was later talked about by the best man at the reception and how much the letter moved Mark.
The groomsmen gathered in the side room and got pumped up. John V. had a great "Sunday, Sunday, Sunday" announcer voice he did and really wanted confetti and t-shirt cannons going off was we came out. Such a great character he was. It was an energetic and enjoyable juxtaposition to the reserved tone of such an important event. We all walked out took our places. The bridesmaids looked wonderful and the men were sharp as nails. I was honored to be up there with them.
Then the music started and the bride started walking out with her father. Ashley looked very beautiful. It was the first time Mark laid eyes on the dress she so carefully picked. Every eye was on her and the lighting in the church was enhanced by the sunshine coming through the stain glassed windows. Mark never looked happier. I'd share pictures, but I was busy looking groomsman like. I can't wait to see these professional pictures.
They looked perfect together. There were two readings, one was a reading of a letter Mark Twain wrote to his fiancée before they were married read by Mark's friend John O. It was moving and I wish I had it here to reproduce for you. The Pastor did a great job and decided to share with the couple excerpts of letters they each wrote to him on why they loved the other person. This was extremely moving and brought tears to my eyes, not a simple task considering they had not been able to produce tears since my Lasik the week before. This was my favorite part of the wedding. I was in awe of the true love I was witness to. It is what everyone aspires to and you could see they had found it.
Everyone talks about how much the grooms and brides are in love and perfect for each other, but in Mark and Ashley’s case, this is most truly a reality. I have rarely even seen two people so much in love and perfect for each other. And this comes from hearing just about how he talked about her over the years and was confirmed watching them together. It is a sight that brings real joy to the heart. I am so very happy for Mark that he found her and know that Ashley has found a pretty amazing guy who I'm proud to have as a friend.
After the wedding, it was time to celebrate. We headed over to the reception. There was an introduction of the wedding party to the tune of Rocky. I was unprepared for such an entrance and tried to spontaneously improvise to the best of my ability. It was so much fun. The dinner was superb.
The Best Man and Maid of Honor speeches were heartfelt and great, and I don't know how they came up with new material after giving the toasts the night before. When it was time for the first dance, they danced to Halo by Beyonce. It was a great choice. Here is a clip. (http://flic.kr/p/8dS7Y6)
The rest of the night consisted of an open bar, lots of dancing and socializing. I got to spend time with Dan and Thea, a couple that proves that married people can be not only a lot of fun, but great friends. There was Scott and Heather who I was able to catch up with after so many years. I didn't know them that well, but I feel like I know them a lot better now. Dave and his fiancée were happy to indulge me in sharing their love story, which I always enjoy. Having just met Brent and his wife Becca, I confirmed what I had heard, they were cool as shit. It was also nice to see Jim and his wife Michelle and meet John O. Like I have said, Mark travels in a stellar group of friends and these might just be a list of names to most, but were pretty cool people.
I even met some of Ashley's friends. I grouped them into family/home friends, Michigan friends, and DC friends, though it was completely arbitrary. The foreign service grad students were awesome. At one point they broke into German and I was extremely impressed. They knew a lot of languages and had interesting backgrounds. It was a bit hard to fully understand what they are going to be, but they did a good job of explaining. They may be spies one day I have concluded and they have denied, which would be super cool. I even met a Cornell alumni who sang Ave Maria at the wedding which sounded amazing.
At one point a guy, Ryan I think, asked us to all sit down behind each other in a line. I didn't know why, but I did it anyway. we looked like this. <<<<<<<< (top view - one guy = <). Then he ran at the group <--- and crowd surfed all the way down the line. It was pretty awesome and everyone took a turn. I would love to see pictures of this. Even the groom and bride got to crowd surf. It was a pretty creative idea and by the end my arms where shot, but it was super fun.
I also must give credit to the DJ. He was very good and took requests. It was nice to see how a professional DJ operates. He ended the night like most bars do, with Journey's Don't Stop Believing. As great as the song is, I really enjoy the ending to the Glee version where it ends with "Don't Stop."
Scott set up the after party at the Seelbach Bar and I got to start the whisper campaign. We all met up there and I continued my bourbon binge. Mark and Ashley joined us and we closed the place down at about 2am. I tried to be as social as possible and meet as many people as I could. As they excused themselves to the Seelbach Suite, which I hear was awesome, those still brave enough, continued the night on 4th Street. We went to the Social Club and hung out there. By this point I really wore out my tux. I'm glad it was rented. Thea made a poignant comment during the night, she said, "it is ok to have a good time." Probably a comment on my propensity to forget to smile when I'm happy. She is a wise one.
Then the night came down to Dan, Thea, Eric and myself standing in the middle of 4th street. They knew I wanted to go to the piano bar, so since Marty wanted it, they decided to push on. Unfortunately, it doesn't stay open until 4am, but the gesture meant everything to me. We went back to the hotel room and parted ways with promises that I'll visit DC much sooner than the 3 years I've been away.
Sunday morning, I was less hungover than I expected, but maybe it hadn't been long enough. I flew back home and had time to rest before having to come to work the next day. It was an experience, one I'm glad I was able to be a part of.
There is so much to the story that I don't know, so much shared I never saw, but even from just my conversations with Mark over the years and watching them together these past few days, what I see between them is amazing and hope inspiring. I think that says a lot and they are both very lucky to have each other.
I wish them all the happiness and bliss in the world, something they have been enjoying for the past few years.
effort is not always half the battle
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