Found: Lost Kitten

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” - Jim Rohn

Tuesday night I hear a noise from outside and when I went to check, I saw a kitten crying. I looked around for other kittens, another cat or a person I could ask. It was empty and quiet. Part of me thought I would just leave the cat outside, but it was so small and a thunderstorm was coming. I brought her inside and made a poster that said: Found: Lost kitten. Koki and Mia were not pleased, but they are usually not happy with new pets. I named her Maddie (after Rachel Maddow) and gave her food and water. I would love to keep her, but I have too many animals already. I'm trying to convince a friend of mine to take her if I can't find the owners and she is thinking about it. For now I'll put up posters and see who responds.

Update: Thursday morning I ran into a neighbor and he told me that there was a mother cat and two kittens hanging out at his house. He had been feeding them. He said in that this morning the mother cat came around without any kittens. This makes me think that Maddie is a stray and not a run away kitten from a nice home like I was imagining.

I'm excited about the FIFA World Cup starting on Friday. I'll hopefully be sneaking a watch of Mexico's game while I'm at work. I'll be cheering for the USA and Mexico, but mainly I just care to see good games. I'll never forget my first World Cup back in 1998 when I started college. Herbert got me into it. Ever since I have watched every 4 years and each time vowed to attend the next one. This should be exciting.

A year ago I was running each day and working out. I was able to increase my pull ups from 2 when I started to 15 over a few months. Well now I'm back to square one. I can do one painful pull up and running does not go well. I hate the feeling of starting over. It sucks to lift weights when your mind remembers being able to lift so much more with such ease. I could do this daily for a year and still not be back to where I was 5 years ago. That really saps my motivation, but at the same time, you have to start somewhere and it is this type of thinking that has let my health deteriorate to this degree. The worst part is that I've written about this very thing before. The topic even bores me. I just hate to think about the cycle, I'll do this until August and then slack off and get back to square one. It's a discouraging thought. We'll see.

Maria has been on my mind a lot as of late. After one of my last entries my friend sent me an email that made some really poignant observations that really struck a chord. I wanted to share some of them. She stated:

"you know, i think the hardest part is the silence that remains when someone passes away. some people might think its not being able to see someone again but I dont think that is really the case because you can always remember the image of them in your mind. they never cease to exist in that way, but for me, its the sound of their voice--the memory of sound seems so much harder to retain. when i reflect on my deceased relatives, I can remember them quite vividly but at some point my memory of their voices fades. i can remember conversations had, but never the way they sounded to me when they said it. i wonder why this is. after the passage of time they sort of just become images, mirages. "

"i think that must be very hard for you too because your relationship was so centered on the opposite of silence--sound, communication, sharing, laughter. not being able to see her in some way must feel normal because of the way you led your lives, but not being able to dial her and hear a response on the other side is part of where i assume the devastation would lie. the last memory i have of her is of hearing her, talking to her with you. i very much remember the sound of her smile. "

She put into words a lot of the thoughts that I have been dealing with. It the communication I will miss, the sound of her voice. It isn't a good comparison, but that is also how it feels when a relationship ends, you miss a lot of things, but the communication is the part you miss the most. I feel like I'm looking at phone ready to call her and I have to remember she isn't there. I can't bring myself to delete her number. My friendship with Maria was based on communication and her ability to relate in conversations we had. I'm really going to miss that. I hope I don't take communication from the friends I do have for granted.

When I'm feeling down, I buy stuff. Since I'm a guy, it is usually electronic stuff. I won't even go into the random gadget I bought today, which lets me transfer the internet in my room to the game room. I need to watch myself or soon I'll have a musical keyboard, bose speakers and a light timer. I guess the eye surgery counts as an impulse buy as well. I have it set for July 9th and my biggest worry is to have the money ready by then. I need to find a good pair of sunglasses to wear afterward. Any suggestions?

where does my money go?