"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical Thinking
Thursday night was an experience I hope not to forget. To continue on my insomnia saga, my doctor gave me a new medicine to try out since the standard ones where not cutting it. It was off label use I think, but I was excited about trying something new. So Thursday night I took the new medication hoping it would help me get some regular sleep. Well 10 minutes later it kicked in and hard, but it made me feel drunk like. I couldn't walk, I was dizzy and my head started to hurt. I also felt tired, but it was a very different feeling from a normal sleeping pill. The real problem came when I couldn't get to sleep and instead was just left with side effects. I ended up staying awake for hours feeling terrible and trying to eat and drink a lot to clean it out of my system. Finally I ended up taking a normal sleeping pill which ended up knocking me out for the entire day of Friday (not good for my productivity). This experience taught me a lot, taught me that the solution to my problems are not in pill form, but are instead in lifestyle and mental outlook changes. (note: apply to diet pills people.) I just need to suck it up and wake up early even if I'd rather sleep, run daily and at least try to eat better food when I can. I almost feel like I was being punished last night for trying to get away without fully making these changes. Here is wishing for better dreams.
On Friday night I was ended up watching 5 mins of 13 Going On 30. It actually kept my attention and 25 mins later there I was still watching. I'm almost embarrassed to admit it, but it was good and I enjoyed it. Maybe because I was a huge fan of Big and Vice Versa and the song Jessie's Girl. Maybe my blog is becoming too much of a confessional and there are things like this I should keep to myself. Here is my favorite quote from the movie, Matt: "You don't always get the dream house, but sometimes you get pretty close, you know?"
I thought about going out on Friday night, but my head was still killing me so I just stayed in. I have plans for Saturday so maybe it is better that I rest up for that.
Sometimes you get a random email you were not expecting that kind of blindsides you. You have a million things you would like to say, but instead you just make a short reply since I'm incapable of ignoring people. There is nothing that can be said that hasn't been said. Here is to respecting myself and it follows my theme all about protecting myself right now.
I sent my college ring to get re-sized. There are a few things I view as the feather in Dumbos cap, and second to my black cap, my college ring is one of them. For years it has been too tight so I haven't worn it. I finally sent it in to get re-sized and it came in today. The reason I am so sad is that I sent it in a leather ring case that came with the ring and it came back in a normal black engagement ring box type and my kick ass box was no where to be seen. This seems to petty, but I want my box back and will probably call in on Tuesday to see if I can do anything to get it back. Had I only known I would of just send the ring wrapped up.
Saturday is the first game of the season for UT. My sister Ana was going to come up, but now she is planning to come up next week. I don't know if the game will be on tv, but I think I will be a big UT fan this year.
Routine is excitement spread thin
hey, USC's first game of the season is on saturday too! is that all college football? i don't really care but clay and fatima both graduated from there so they're fanatics. i have to act like i care around them or they might disown me.
ReplyDeleteoh yeah germs are my public enemy #1. except i'm becoming less psycho about them, but i haven't decided it that's a good or bad thing yet.......
I get you have a 2 hour time difference, but it is still late there. You really should sleep better...its almost morning and I'm still awake here. It is all college football, but I don't think USC likes Texas because they lost the national championship 2 years ago to them.
ReplyDeleteoh my God, you're talking to me about sleep??? lol! i went to sleep soon after.
ReplyDeletewow you weren't kidding about the insomnia thing. actually i had it bad during my first round of chemo. i would stay up until 5-6 in the morning, just could not go to sleep. i forgot what i did to fix it. i think actually it changed once i started staying in hospitals. the nurses would always wake me up at 4am and then again at 8am. i could never sleep past 9am at any hospital so eventually i just started falling asleep earlier. but once i'm home..... it happens so gradually next thing i know, it's always 2 or 3am. last night was the only one though, i've been pretty good at going to sleep at 1am or 2 at the latest.
oh and i KNOW USC doesn't like texas. i saw that game at a bar not far from the rosebowl where they were playing. all day my sister had been shit talking to texas fans who were there, talking about how she was eating steak for dinner...... and then they lost. it was fun though because the bar we had been at was crowded with fans from both teams.
i still can't believe you told me to sleep better, lol!