I'm going to rock my goals this week. [edit: woah I was far off.] Mainly because I don't have a choice. It is funny how small insignificant things you need to do, but haven't gotten around to can really decrease your overall general well being. Come this time next week I want to be dealing with new problems than the ones on my mind.
I almost feel like I am getting back from vacation. I wish I was more fiscally responsible. I was having a conversation with Oscar about his house payment and how he chose a 15 year mortgage because it would lead to paying less interest. I think if it were me I'd take the 30 year one mainly because I'd have lower payments. I'd end up paying more for longer, but his approach is so much more responsible. I have a lot to learn. It is almost like when you are really overweight, I mean you don't really care about that last donut because how much worse can things get. You think, well if I was skinny, then I would eat better. Yet if you were skinny, you'd think, hell I have a lot of eating I can do before I get fat, let me enjoy.
I don't own a lot of shorts. I used to, but it was usually too cold to wear shorts so I never bought more. Today I picked some up at the store so that I don't always have to wear jeans. I'm starting to adapt to Texas life. I've lost some weight since moving to Texas and am between sizes, so picking the right size was hard, but why am I talking about this. I need new clothes.
Tuesday I slept in, which is hard to understand because I did get to bed at a good time. I met Ericka for lunch as she got out of work early. We ate at this Mexican restaurant in a part of town I hadn't yet been in. We then went to the mall to look at Apple's since she is thinking of getting a Mac laptop. I know nothing about Macs, but I was happy to give my advice. I really liked the black Mac and really fell for the iphone. If they were not tied to ATT I think I'd figure out a way to get one.
I don't know who to talk to about this, but this is a big deal to me right now. I'm putting this deep in my entry because it is one of the personal things I don't like to talk about, but right now I really need somewhere to vent these thoughts. I was taping off some medicine because I wasn't happy with it. It has really bad withdrawal symptoms and tapering is the only way to reduce them. Well I had an insurance issue and the medicine was almost $200 bucks and I decided to just go cold turkey instead of buying more medicine to decrease my usage. I thought I would be fine, I would be different and not have those withdrawal symptoms. Then I noticed I was having bad dreams, felt hot and not well and wanted to sleep all day (as opposed to my normal wanting to sleep a lot). Now I am sitting here with the worst nausea and headache and body aches I've had in recent memory. It is like I finally understand what they meant by withdrawal from drugs. Well I have enough medicine to do a shortened version of tapering down, but I'm torn now on what to do. The problem is that I stopped taking the medicine 2 or 3 days ago. I got through the first part I guess without noticing and now it is finally starting to kick in. My first thought is to just start taking those half doses I have ready and make the pain will go away, but then I think, well I'm a few days into kicking this (why does this sound like I'm kicking crack), so maybe I should just go through this hell and be off than get back on and maybe just delay this feeling to another day if this is just an inevitable result of stopping. I think I'm gonna try to get through the night and see where I am tomorrow and only get back on the medication if I can't function. Maybe this type of horrible feeling will make me appreciate other things once it is gone. [Edit: I made it through that night and think I kicked the withdrawal symptoms. Not an experience I'd like to repeat.]
Abram came into town on Wednesday. He had an interview on Thursday. He went down to San Marcos to use his wake board and I stayed back. When I went downstairs I noticed his dogs were missing. Abram had put Brooks and Memphis in the backyard for the trip. I was able to quickly track down Memphis rolling in the mud in the front yard and picked him up and took him to the backyard. I was covered in mud and smelled like dog. Brooks was no where to be seen. I feel like he always gets out when I am around. Two hours later I was able to finally track down Brooks right before Abram got back from the ski ranch.
Thursday Abram had his interview and did a great job. He even got called back for a 2nd interview. The job wasn't what he was really interested in so I don't think he will take that second interview. In the evening we went with Danny to the Library on 6th to have some drinks. We met up with Oscar, Ish, Sarah, Mari, Shay, Ericka and Karina. The beer was cheap and we were there for a while. A random girl hit on me, which is always a nice compliment. After, we got in the car with Danny, Shay, and Mari. We went to Jimmy's house we thought to drop off some people, but much later we all ended up just coming back to Buda. Once we got home Abram and I took off to San Marcos to hang out with his buddy. We were there until 5 in the morning. Norbert has a husky who was much bigger than when I last saw him. When I get a dog I think it will be a husky.
On Friday I talked to Maria. I hadn't heard from her in a long time and it was good hear about her progress. She is in the hospital right now (see her blog), and was telling me about her marrow transplant. When I think about what she is dealing with, it makes me feel like there are many lessons I can learn from her experience and courage.
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