Getting life turned around isn't always so easy. You feel like every time you try, it ends up just blowing up in your face. So I beat this sickness and bam, I'm sick again and can't figure out why. I notice my eyes burning and think maybe it's some sort of side effect of my new air purifier. Well, what it is, is a terribly high pollen count making my allergies go crazy. My eyes are sore red and all the things on my agenda are not getting done. The last time I remember feeling this bad was on a trip to DC from Florida. Once I got there, I ended up just trying to sleep off the attack making the trip somewhat useless. I hate that feeling and more so the sleepy feeling I get from taking all the medications.
I'll be done with the self loathing in a bit, at least I hope. So I had a doctor's appointment Monday, but I didn't remember until I was eating breakfast in my car, so I had to reschedule due to my forgetting to fast. I've also decided to stop taking any medications I've been on. I'm ok with taking medicine when I'm sick, but as a daily thing, I'd rather not. I don't think my doctor will approve, nor probably will my body, but it is worth a try. I am worried a bit about the heart medication, but not too much. It is hard to know how much is mental and how much is the fact that I'm not taking medicine.
Oh, how I forget, I broke my eye glasses last week. This means I'm wearing my old glasses and still need to get an appointment for contacts as well. My computer broke too, I turned it off during an update and now it won't load. There is hope, but I have to wait until I go home and pick up my Vista cd to see if I can repair it. -- It worked, thank goodness for my mad computer skills because that would of been scary.
Here is a thought that has gone through my head recently. Imagine a perfect world, where I could pick my perfect outcome. Now if I could choose to be with anyone I wanted to from my past, would I? I wanted to see how much idealizing of people or my past I have done. I thought about this for sometime and in the end I came up with the conclusion that I'd rather be where I am right now. Not as much because that is the feel good thing to say, but because I think there is more out there. Now, I feel like I have dated some really great people, people I admired and cared deeply for, but to stand here and say definitively that anyone was the one and that I would know I would be truly happy with now, would be hard. Now with that said, I can think of at least two people I would of been willing to take the chance to find out. It makes me feel like going forward, I shouldn't be with anyone who I don't care for more than, or who cares for me more than the standard that has been set. It is a high standard I think, which means I need to be extra careful with my decisions. Then there is the theory that you can't truly be content until you find that peace within yourself. Does that mean that once I'm self actualized that it won't matter who I pursue a relationship with because I was the only thing standing in my way? I'd like to hope that they is something special out there that I'm looking for in addition to the whole inner understanding thing.
My mind is very foggy right now, no doubt the allergy meds, but how much of it is just my recent detachment from the world? As I was walking up my stairs yesterday I had this weird feeling, like that my life has lost its excitement. I mean in the sense that there are no adventures, no huge changes or moves to distract me. I work now and this is where I'm at. I thought about why I have felt like I have not has much to talk about about, but a large reason has to be that I haven't done much worthy of talk. I guess it is time to get ready.
The Spurs won Monday night in a pretty exciting game. I love watching the games in HD upstairs on my couches. Lakers here we come.
Tuesday I had a doctor's appointment. I had thought they were going to take blood, so I fasted, but I guess the appointment was just to do a medications check, which is easy when you stopped taking everything. The good news is that my doctor was good with my stopping of medicines, including my heart medication. He even checked out my toe which was worried about, but nope, it was just that I stubbed it and it had yet to heal that caused that black spot in the nail. It was a good appointment.
After I went to get a contacts exam and my glasses fixed. They have been really great to me there. I didn't have to pay for an entire exam and instead just paid for the contacts part, then when the screw broke inside my glasses when trying to fix them, they just sent for a new frame instead. I guess that is why I came back.
It feels good having contacts again. I forgot how nice it feels to not have to wear glasses. As I was driving home I was able to use my sunglasses which felt great even though it was ironically a pair of glasses.
I tried to be productive and using my craigslist addiction, I was able to get two dog houses for ten bucks. It did take some driving around town loading them up all alone, but I got them them. Our dog problems are still far from over.
In politics, I'm fully in the Obama camp and am wondering what Clinton's cool plan is? I mean I thought maybe she had something creative going on, but now I'm starting to think that she might actually mean it when she says she is going for the win, something she can't do unless the will of the people is overturned. This is coming from a guy that things she is great, would be a great president and who voted for her, but why not just let Obama get on with it....unless there is some cool plan that I and most pundits do not understand.
I used to have a parrot:
Lost parrot tells veterinarian his name, address
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