Time to Think

“No man is rich enough to buy back his past.” - Oscar Wilde

I don't have much to say right now. This is usually when I have the most to say I think.
No usual log update for me right now. I hate when things start to fall around you and you try to be calm and pick them up one by one, but then you just keep finding more things you didn't expect. I'm better than this. I can not let my circumstances win here. So to keep my mind off of this: Here are some articles that caught my attention.

Guess it isn't too great of a topic. My left leg had been hurting me for a few weeks. It was a weird pain. Considering you can turn any symptom into the signs of something bad, here is what I found.

Leg Pain a Hidden Risk for Stroke:


A less accurate way to check for PAD [peripheral arterial disease] is to use a stethoscope to listen to the pulse at various points on the legs like the thigh or knee and see if the pulse is weak at any of those places or if there are unusual sounds, such as a murmur, suggesting that blood flow is disrupted. Some of the symptoms are aching pain, fatigue, and sometimes burning in the calf when walking. Pain can also be in the thigh or the front of foot. Another symptom is restless legs when one lies down.



I found this a bit funny. Read the article, there is another funny picture there too.

Anti-Immigration Protester Needs A Spell-Check


The San Francisco Chronicle reprints this photo taken at an anti-immigration rally in Texas. The paper quips: "Excellent point: In Houston, a Texan protesting amnesty for illegal immigrants argues that anyone who can't master English doesn't deserve to live in America."



Here is a list of my current opportunities:


I just got paid and already have 5 overdrafts. Tough times my friends and I don't even have the right to complain. At least my cats aren't going to the restroom in my room...wait, no.



There are no bad dogs, just bad dog owners. I'm one of those owners it is looking like. I thought I was doing a great job with Max, but he keeps getting into trouble and acting up. I am responsible since he probably needs more care. The stories about this are quite long, including a hoodi dog that can get out of any tied up situation.

HIMYM did not record for me on Monday. How petty is that to be listed here? Tivo has changed me over a grand of fees by accident and despite all my work to get their mistake fixed, I'm still waiting.

Abram and I were talking about my bout last week with some tough times and how maybe Karma is just balancing out since things are going so well for him, I'm picking up the slack to balance it out. The thought in a weird way made me feel better.

Screw this focusing on the negative thing, it doesn't help. I hate when people complain and bitch, especially when not looking at the bigger more positive picture. It is the whole, "Poor little rich boy" thing where you can't feel sorry for a person who isn't appreciating how well they have it. You have to pardon me though I just can't keep this all inside.



So here as I'm here typing, the world goes fuzzy and I feel dizzy and right as I feel like I'm going to faint, I lay down on the floor to try to feel better. It feels like a sudden drop in blood pressure, my guess probably brought upon the stress I'm inflicting on myself as I'm here writing about this crap. It does feel very scary though. It could be something else, but damn it is scary. I don't think I've felt like this before.

I'm just going to stop.

maybe it isn't myself I need to forgive