Good Morning. This morning on the way to work it was very foggy on the road as rain continued to come down. I was also very lost in my thoughts as I was driving, as if in my own personal fog. At one point, I wake up and notice that I have completely driven past work for a few miles and had to make a uturn and double back. I hope to get out of this daze. I can't wait for better weather, but it doesn't look like it is coming.
Today is the Chinese New Year. The year of the Ox I am told. I don't know much about his and even a quick look at Chinese New Year on wikipedia didn't help too much. There are a lot of good luck and bad luck things you can do today. I don't think I'm off to a good start. Nevertheless, Happy New Year Everyone!
How Your Birth Order Shapes Your Personality
"Are you a very neat person? Do you try to color coordinate your clothes? Love making lists? There's a good chance you're first born in your family birth order."
Ana anyone? ("First-borns often have to grow up fast and become "little adults" before they're ready. If the first is a female, she may be another "mother" to her siblings.") I'm told that I'm a first born since I was born much after my sister Vero. Does this fit me?
"If You're the First Born ...The first-borns often are high achievers and are very conscientious, reliable, and loyal. They're also scholarly (not all the time, though) and feel better being in control of a situation."
I'm sure it is like a horoscope right, you want it to fit you because they are positive qualities and truisms. I wish they would highlight the negative as well.
I watched the pilot for the new show Lie to Me. It seems very interesting. I hope to see a few more episodes before I decide if I'm going to add it to my DVR list. Right now I'm just adding it week by week. I like the idea of the show. I did notice in this aerial shot of DC, the footage is dated and the WWII memorial is not yet built in the shot. It is at the beginning. That is the kind of thing I notice. It is neat that a lot of things I have learned from poker books is discussed on the show. And then studies like this come out: Lying Takes Longer Than Telling The Truth
I had been planning to see Underworld this weekend, but I decided to wait. Instead I watched Eagle Eye and W. I had planned to see W. some time ago, but I knew I wouldn't be able to watch it until the Bush administration was over. I know that its effects on the country are not over, but it did make watching much easier. I thought it was a good movie, but nothing I'd rush out and see. Still on my list are Doubt, The Reader and a few others.
I had about 9 episodes of Prison Break taking up space on my DVR. I finally got to the last episode and then found out the series was getting cancelled. I think there are 6 of so episodes left coming in April and then it is over. This is one of the few times I have been ok with one of the shows I watched being canceled. I mean, the show was limited by the very same name that made it interesting. He broke out twice from prison, it was more than enough.
It is getting close to the time when I have to decide if I'm going to renew my lease at my current place. I have been many different ways on this and whenever I think I know what I'm going to do, things change again. Right now it is still unclear, but I think my only real choice is to renew it and see how things play out. I'm sure things will start to make more sense soon. A condo in the city is an option, but I really have to look at costs. Moving is always so complicated, but in this case not moving is complicated as well.
I was reading a book about how you can't "think yourself out of your problems," partially because those very problems exist because of your thinking. What you do is close off and try to think of a solution instead of just living. It is the proverbial fighting in the quicksand and going deeper and deeper. I should probably keep reading this book. That is something I feel pretty guilty of. I'll stop all action until I can find a solution. My procrastination was always like that. Until I figured out that perfect study schedule or set up, well I wouldn't study.
I was watching a movie this weekend and a character talked about being a romantic and how he fell in love with his wife when he met her and asked her to marry him like 5 days later. It really got me thinking. I always thought, you meet a girl, you date for a few years, in that time you know if you both want to get married, and then you move on with the next step in life. Yet when I look at it play out, maybe it is the not choosing to get married during that time that is the problem. I mean, in my experience there are always problems that aren't easily resolved that lead to strife and then to a parting of ways after months or years of dating. But this very same person, this person who you didn't think was ready to commit for years, turns around and meets someone new and in less than a year they are getting married and have found the true love of their life. You are happy for them, accept it wasn't you, but never did it make me wonder, was it the fact that I was the wrong person that led to the long relationship that faded away. If they were capable of feeling that way for a person, then it must of not been them, it must of been you. I mean, my biggest fear is that I meet a person, fall in love, get married quickly and in what would be year 4 of the relationship, but is instead year 3 of the marriage those very same issues that would make up part ways in a relationship will now lead to a divorce, this time with much greater consequences. So the thought that if you are just as happy/in love in 4 years (not a literal number of course but an example), then you will know you want to get married because the other person truly is for you and it isn't the newness or the honeymoon, but the person. Maybe this way of thinking is totally off, I mean hell it hasn't served me well in life. (or has it?) I once had a friend many years ago tell me that if two people really love each other, then there is no need to rush into marriage because there is no fear that by not doing it now they risk losing their chance of being with that person. I silently vowed to myself to remember that. Others say, why wait if you know they are the one. I also tried to remember that thing you learn from movies, that people tend to try to deal with problems in relationships by having a child (or another child), or huge decisions like that. I'm really thinking this overly cautious defensive mindset has flaws that I just can't comprehend. Everyone wants the unrealistic, the perfect person that they have complete trust in, yet what is wrong with being with a person that at least tries to be the person they want.
I'm off to Lunch.
No comments:
Post a Comment