Decades

"Tenderness emerges from the fact that the two persons, longing, as all individuals do, to overcome the separateness and isolation to which we are all heir because we are individuals, can participate in a relationship that, for the moment, is not of two isolated selves but a union." - Rollo May (1909-1994) American Psychotherapist

Thanksgiving break is now over and I'm back to work. The month of December is by far my favorite of the year. It doesn't even have a lot to do with Christmas. December feels like the Sunday after a long week and a good weekend where you dread going back to work on Monday, January 4th. I'm looking forward to the Christmas Holidays and with how cold it is right now, it feels very much like the season. I don't plan on getting a tree this year since I'll spend the holidays in the Valley most likely.

Speaking of, I went home to the Valley for Thanksgiving. We ate at my mother's house and I got to spend time with family. It had been a few months since I had been down. My youngest niece Celeste seems to grow in leaps and bounds each time I see her. Comparatively, my older nieces and nephews seem to grow much slower. I got to hang out with some old friends and even went downtown for drinks. There were moments I missed out on too, but I guess you can't do everything. I did miss out on having tacos or tamales, but that might be explained by the amount of turkey I did have. It was a good trip.

During the break, I was invited by a good friend to be part of their wedding this coming summer. It was very much an honor. It is going to be in Kentucky, so I'm also excited about getting to visit the Maker's Mark factory. It has been a while since I have been to a wedding and I'm very much looking forward to this one. I have to admit, I have not yet met his fiance since I moved away as they started dating. I look forward to getting to know her since she seems like a really interesting person. This reminds me that I need to make trips to see my friends more often.

December is also the month of my birthday. I'm going to be 30 years old at the end of the month. I won't talk about how old that feels right now, but I'm slowly becoming an adult it seems. Now, if you break my life up into 3 decades, I think each period is pretty interesting. The first decade I spent growing up, learning to become a person and about half of it I don't remember. I was mainly just waiting for my brain to grow and mature into a human size all the while theoretically being vulnerable to predators and what not. The second decade 11-20 was probably the one where I lived it up the most. This is where I discovered girls, drinking, had a lot of my firsts, learned to drive a car, went to college, and was probably the most care free. This past decade went by much faster than the first two, most likely due to each year being a larger proportion of the life I lived thus far. Between 21-30 I may have accomplished the most in my life, graduations from college and law school, living in many cities, traveling, starting my career, paying off my first car, and learning to be a responsible citizen, something missed decade 2. I now need to decide what I want this next decade to be like. This is what I have almost a month to think about and then a decade to truly figure out. (note: The more I think about it, since this is arbitrary, 17-27 have to have been the best 10 year span. I limited myself artificially by dividing in exact decades. Greatest joys and greatest sorrows.)

In other thoughts. I once heard a person explain how they don't understand why some people say, "you'll never find anyone like me again," when they break up. I mean if you are breaking up then they clearly didn't want someone like you to begin with, so not finding another like you is kind of a good thing for them. Maybe it is just the self-important crap we tell ourselves to feel better. I'm sure we all feel special and unique just like everyone else. Interestingly, I've caught myself at times dealing that type of irrational thought. The idea of a person losing you being its own punishment isn't a very logical thought considering that is the whole point of ending a relationship. Funny how when you think about things they don't always match up with what is going on inside your head.

I recently had a friend tell me, "I think youre just addicted to the idea of having someone listen to your every thought. It could be any listener, really. It has to do more with you than it does them." This was not a comment about my blog, which would seem fitting, but it was just generally about me. I thought about this for a while, mainly because I do enjoy going off on all my observations and theories when talking to friends. I also like listening to other people's thoughts and giving my own take on them. I think I would take issue with the addicted part and to the any listener part. I value feedback and the only way to test your theories and ideas is to share them with others. 'Did you see that the same way I did?' I'll ask. I just think liking something does not rise to calling it an addiction. Secondly, the person you talk with is actually very important. There are some people in my life whose opinion I value very much. There are also people whose opinions, though in theory important, don't influence me. I tend to seek those opinions of people I not only trust, but also respect. I don't like that this sounds like a defense, but maybe because I value their opinion, it was worth thinking about. This is one of those ways I like to think out loud.

read no evil