I had a good meeting yesterday with the Catholic priest from the church I have started to go to. I asked him a lot of questions I had been thinking about like:
When can I take communion? Can I take it if I don't go to confession?
Can you explain the praying to saints and virgin mary thing?
Literal or general interpretation of the bible?
Difference between Catholics and Baptists? (said Baptists are really literal about their interpreation of the bible.)
Which bible is the best one? (said many are approved by Catholic church, but the one they use in mass is the "New American Bible".)
What do I need to do to be part of the church and one day marry through the church?
My concern with blaming God for things and not taking responsiblity for our choices and actions. The role church plays in spirituality.
How important are good intentions?
He was very willing to talk to me and wasn't condesending or anything. He was nice and really down to earth and his Irish accent made listening more interesting because I rarely hear it other than in movies. I didn't want to take up too much of his time, so I didn't belabor points or go off on too many tangents. His office was really normal looking, like that of a professor with books and a computer and he was dressed normally. I guess I just really had no clue what to expect because I have only seen him at church dressed up.
He brought up an example where Jesus says to hate your mother and father and how he literally didn't mean to hate your parents. (It would conflict with the 10 commandments), but the point Jesus was trying to make is that you have to hold Jesus above everything. I went online to read up more about this and I found a funny satire site of a Baptist Church online. It made me laugh because it takes some time to figure out it is a satire and there is funny stuff like pictures of people in white costumes burning crosses and explaining a justification for it. Here is their joke on the quote above. I wouldn't read it if you take offense easily. http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0504/mothersday.html
My biggest concern about church is the judgment part and how church going people tend to be such judging jerks who cast everyone to hell and feel like their own sins are justified because they attend church. I can choose how to apply the bible and my spirtuality to my life, but I don't feel the right to go around applying it to other peoples lives. I understand I must spread the word, but I'd rather just do it by example and I think each person needs to find God, not have him shoved down your throat for fear of being sent to hell for eternatity. Maybe I have it wrong, maybe my views will change over time, but they are just that, mine and they are my right.
So back to my point, I felt good knowing that this priest was more liberal than I expected and was more in tune with reality than I feel a lot of overly christian people are. I felt like I could trust a man who was going to be open minded about the world and the bible. I'm still trying to figure out the best way to teach my kids one day about God. See Saved, it's funny.
I didn't do my reading for contracts last night. Instead I went to bed early and tried to wake up and do it. I woke up and didn't have much time, so I quickly read through all 4 cases before going to class. I had them all briefed using rom law, but one case wasn't in there, so I just put a very short summary of the case in my notes. I thought of missing class, but I really needed to learn about condition precedents, so I showed up. I didn't get called on for the 1st two cases, but then I asked a question and I got called on for the next case in which I didn't have a brief. I did read it, but quickly, so I did the best I could trying to be confident, but not having a brief makes it hard and I couldn't remember the minute details of the case because I read it so fast, so I kept trying to bring it back to the bigger picture. I didn't look like a complete dumbass and some people were real nice and told me I did a good job, but I was upset because I enjoy getting called on when I know the case. She had only called on me once this year I think, maybe twice at most. So here I got a case I didn't know as well as I know the other cases, and I didn't get a chance to show to the professor that I am really learning this stuff. At least now we are done with with the material for contracts, now its just time to learn it. That is what I get for asking a question.
Yesterday I had a good conversation with my older sister. She was telling me a story and she mentioned feeling like a coward in a sense. We talk about how the "do unto others" view of life has really fucked us over because it doesn't let us be complete assholes and we feel guilty when we do bad things. I told her about my theory of how I don't have the killer instinct and how I can't kick a guy while he is down (literally) and how I even feel bad for evil people. I even have trouble telling people to fuck off and verbally be mean to them because I feel bad even though I might be feeling it inside and thinking it. Now don't think I'm all self rightous, I mean I can be a jerk and do bad things, but I think in general I try to do all things with good intentions and when I don't I genuinely do feel bad. I think I need to worry less and just speak up and call things as they are. At least I am glad I am not the only person feeling this way.
So here is a dream I had last night. Take it for what it is worth, I hate reading people's dreams, but writing my own is actually fun. It was the typical getting chased by the bad guy type of dream where you run and try to hide, but there seems to be no escape. He had a machine type gun and shot a lot of people and I was next on the list. I slammed a door between him and myself, but of course it wouldn't lock, so I used my body to hold it shut as he tried to get in. Then it hit me that he could just shoot through he door and kill me, so I had to move from the door and let him in and just hope to attack him and grab his gun before he could shoot me. I was of course wishing I had my own gun, but I had nothing but my own two hands. So I crouch down and as the door opens and he shoots in, I jump up at him and grab the gun and knock him down. I get the gun and instead of shooting the guy in the face or heart, I shoot him in the knees to remove the immediate threat. He is lying on the floor in pain, but alive and I point the gun at him and hesitate and then shoot at his chest. The gun of course runs out of bullets and I can't kill this bad guy who was trying to kill me and killed people who were important to me. The gun never seems to work in my dreams, that and cars, cars either won't start or the brakes don't work. So as I stand there with a malfunctioning gun, I should probably just start attacking this guy with my hands, but I just don't know what to do. The killer instinct I tell you, I should have just jumped on him and beat him up, but instead I felt bad, scared and uncertain. Now this of course was just a random dream and of course can't be taken literally because I don't go around trying to kill evil gunmen with their own guns, but it did make me feel like I need to be assertive when I have an advantage. BTW I don't believe in owning a gun because I worry I will shoot or be shot by a person I know by accident. I do care about protecting my home though so I think when I'm older I'll get one of those tazer guns or something that can help me fight off a guy with a gun, even though the odds of it happening is very low. Same way I think girls should carry pepper spray (of course know how to use it).
Finals are right around the corner, so I'm assuming I'll won't be writing too much until after I'm done due to my need to not get distracted during this time of trying to learn a semesters worth of material in about 2 weeks. This is probably 2 of the most important weeks of my life (at least in respect to my career). So if I know you, please ignore me during this time because I will looking for ways to procrastintate like no other. Just me and my girlfriend lawschool locked up in a room as I try to learn/memorize as much as my mind will let me.
No comments:
Post a Comment