Super Sunday

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one getting burned." -Buddha

Today is the day, the day where you hang out with friends, drink and watch a football game that tends to be a blow out, but that has decent commercials. There were a few things going on, but since I felt like being a homebody, I stayed at home, had a few friends over and we ordered pizza and wings and watched the game. Luckily, it was my cheat day and I didn't much feel up to drinking since I haven't really felt the need to in quite some time. How exciting is this, I actually go some ironing done during the game. I mean if I'm just going to sit there, might as well get some stuff done. It was a fun time, nevertheless. Update: Great game, glad the Patriots won.

Quick note, another call today, another voicemail, still no return phone call. I'm giving him until Weds, where as, I'm just going to call his mom, cause no one likes it when you call their mom. I still won't be angry or pissed, or even mean on the phone, but people can't ignore their problems, especially when they are me. At what point is a person ignoring you?

On the same subject, this weekend my mom got the girls. I called while they were getting ready to go to church and told my niece to remind her dad to call me and then talked to her a bit about stuff, but as a kid she didn't really know what to say, maybe because she didn't feel comfortable. I found out her phone was disconnected because her family didn't receive the phone bill, but that they would reconnect it "later." Oh that famous "later," I mean you can't argue it, and hell it buys you time. Sounds like finances are not going well for them, which sucks because it affects the girls. Then I talked to my mom, and I thought the phone was passed to her, but instead it was picked up in another room. So guess who listened to my more candid conversation with my mom, yes my niece. Luckily I didn't say anything too bad, but I did talk more about the topic on adult terms which she heard. As I heard her hang up the phone, I made my mom put her on. Usually, you scold a kid for doing this, but instead I told her that I know she heard everything and even though I didn't want for her to stress about why I was calling or the situation, now that she heard, I wanted to tell her myself so that she could understand and not just try to figure it out from overhearing. I told her that it sucks being an inbetween between to people you love that are not getting along and that I didn't want to make her feel that way. Nevertheless, now that she chose to involve herself, I am going to tell her what is going on. I told her how all I wanted was an explanation better than "later," but since I haven't even gotten that, I just wanted one. I wish I could put this all behind me, but seriously, I've waited in the shadows long enough and my efforts are only going to grow.

She also told me how she is going to a Valentines dance. She is in the 7th grade. She was going with my sister Eliza to buy a dress today. She was real excited cause she was going to ride in a Limo, take pictures and then go out to eat with a group of friends. Funny how we take things for granted like going out to eat with friends, something that was such a big deal when we were younger. I never went to my 7th grade dance, and went to my first dance in the 8th grade alone. I had a good time though and I don't think I had a real date to a dance until...wow, late in high school (non-friend date.) Those are good growing up memories, I hope she has a nice time.

Last night I saw the movie Ray. It was a good movie. It kind of drags at times, but the fact that it is true and I didn't know much about his life, made me enjoy it so much more. I know one thing, no heroin for me. Even blind men cheat, man, it is not looking good for guys I think. I'm going to really have to be in love with I get married because I don't want to have to deal with all that shit. Jamie Fox does deserve the Oscar though, he was dead on I think.

let me go