Abre los Ojos

"I once was lost but now am found, was blind, but now, I see." - Amazing Grace

My spring break started this weekend, I'm so excited. I'll finally get away from all the work and get to relax and have a really good time. What better place to be than Miami. I have some friends coming down to visit, so I hope to show them a good time. I wish the sun would come out more so that I can spend more time on the beach. I have plans on getting some work done, but not too much.

My sister once told me that people don't take care of things when they get them for free. Also it is true that people will never take care of your stuff like the way they would take care of their stuff. You have to get over that sometimes. So I had a set of matching cups and glasses and when I first moved in, Fed broke one, so I went and purchased another set so I had more than enough glasses. Well recently, in a span of two days, he broke two more glasses. Hey, mistakes happen, and since I have so many, I didn't really care. Well on the third day, he broke one of my bowls. Even though I haven't broken any of my dishes, I can understand mistakes, but the previous two days of breakings kind of did make me think about it more. I was in a good zen though and told him not to worry about it. He then told me that he would buy me a new set of bowls....but then said, well if they are cheap/or not expensive. That did kind of bother me because I didn't want a set, just the bowl that was broken. I purchased the bowls in DC and they had sentimental value also, so I tried to find the store I bought them at here in Miami. Well the next night he comes in my room excited and told me not to worry about it and how he just purchased "3" new bowls. I was excited and asked him how he found the exact same bowls. He told me they were different, but kind of the same color. For an instant I was just confused. I told him to not order them and that I would find the bowl and just tell him how much it cost (honestly, probably like 5 bucks). I wanted to be angry, but then it hit me, he just isn't at the place I am yet. I used to be in a mindset where matching things didn't matter to me, mis-matched bowls and silverware were fine as long as they served their purpose. Because of that, I let it go and didn't get upset and recognized that what he was trying to do was genuinely good and in good faith. So back to DC...when I moved there, I had mismatched furniture and it seemed everything in my life was like that. Function was the key for me. As time when on, I learned about sets and matching couches, bedroom sets and everything of the sort. When things changed in my life, I had to start buying things. I had no dishes or silverware. S o I go to target and find a set of silverware that was perfectly me. Then I purchased cups, ones I really like. Then it was time for the bowls and plates. One day when I missed the shuttle to my apt, I saw these plates at linens and things and decided to buy one so that I could have a plate to eat my meals on. I figure if I ate and washed, I'd be set. Well as the weeks and months went by, I'd buy a new plate and a new bowl every now and then slowly working on completing my set of 4s. Then finally one day I had my set and it felt very good. It was very telling because it was also around the time I started to feel complete again. So his breaking of the one bowl wasn't just the one bowl, it made the set, now I don't have a set. (doesn't set really mean 3 not 4?) Hence, I need to find that bowl to complete my set or get a new set (something I would do next semester when I settle down somewhere). That is a lot of talk about a broken bowl. (And for more: I found the bowl...all is well.)

Here is something that bothers me, well used to bother me. I used to settle for a lot of shit from a lot of people. I give people the benefit of the doubt and let them work out their own issues, but I want only people that have positive energy in my life so what's the point of wasting people's time. You can't know everybody right, so why not go out and know the best people. Every person I consider a good friend, I would regard a one of those types of people. I'd rather have fewer good real friends than lots of fake friends. I used to mix that up with not knowing people, but I do like to have lots of people I know...but friends are a whole other level. There was this girl at work who was really negative, and once I just stopped being around her, I felt so much better.

On Tuesday I was in Civ Pro working in a group of 3 guys and 3 girls. We all worked together great on the assignment and I said, "So who is going to be the guy who goes up and talks to the class?" Another guy, a good guy, said, "You mean guy or GIRL right?" At my expense, he just came off like a gentleman. I quickly responded, "By guy, I meant people naturally, I mean I'm sure we all assumed it would be a girl going up." Which is really what I was thinking. Of course a girl did go up and nobody but me thought about that exchange ever again.

I have a professor that reminds me of Ms. Till from High School. She was my history teacher and well she found a way to garner fear in her students and held very high expectations. Well Ronner reminds me of her, but it does bother me that fear motivates to study for that class....instead of, well you know, gaining knowledge. Let's hope it works.

I have this belt that I always wear. It is a black leather belt and it really isn't too nice, but it is very comfortable. So, I have been at hole 2 for a long time and in college I used to be at hole 3. Today when I moved it back to hole three (meaning smaller) and it felt great. I need to get a new belt for going out and such, but it is hard to give up what is so comfortable. As a side note, I think I got the belt from my sister Vero, but it was so long ago, I'm not really all too sure.

The world starts to make more and more sense each day...well actually, I do.