Music and Beer

"A single lie destroys a whole reputation of integrity." - Baltasar Gracian

Not a lot is going on in my life. I say this because I'm kind of closed off to the world just taking care of what I need to take care of and not really making a lot of headway. I go to work/school and at home I play poker and talk to Erika. It is cold, did you know that.

Last week we had a poker night. It was the first of many to come. I had a good time, but did terrible and lost. So poker in general has been going well. I have been consistent at sit and goes and am really enjoying it. I’m finally positive in sharkscope. I have been studying and working at this and want to keep improving my game. I have found a spot where I have a small advantage, so I want to keep hitting that advantage and turning it into some profit so that I can pay my bills and such. I’ve played so many games now, yet I can only do 4 at time. I don’t think I’ll be able to do more than that for a while. I can’t wait to get my epassporte account working so that I can start pulling money out of my account. I really owe assassin a lot of credit for helping me improve my game. It is still early and there are many swings to come, but I’m excited and figured I’d share.

The Superbowl is this weekend. I don’t know how you can get better than Patriots Colts, but I’m still looking forward to the event. I’ll probably watch it at home.

Abram's dog had puppies, well my mom's dog did, but Brooks is the father. I'd like to see them. I hear 3 are black and two are brown.

I finally got a haircut. It had been a long time. I kept putting it off, but I decided to not study and use that as an excuse so I could go get that taken care of. I ran into a chatty guy when I got out of my car. First he said “hola” to me, assuming I spoke Spanish. That never bothers me, since well a lot of Latinos speak Spanish, so I just see it as him being thoughtful. I say hello and then we end up talking about his truck and how it was covered in mud. He told me when he gets blue, he goes out 4 wheeling in the mud. I could see that being fun.

Yesterday my uncle’s father passed away. It was terrible to hear that. I hate to imagine losing my parents. No matter how bad you feel for someone and their family, there is just no way you could feel as sad as they do. This always brings up the thoughts of if you appreciate your parents enough and if you show them enough.

An article about how this generation of kids is the first that will not out live their parents (as far as age wise). http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16814894/site/newsweek/

time

The Swings

"No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other; or else he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You can't serve both God and Mammon." - Gospel of Matthew 6:24

All my grades are finally in. It feels good to put the fall in the past and start focusing on this semester. I have a lot less classes this semester due to my externship. This semester shouldn't be as demanding, but the amount of work hours I'm putting in keeps me from having a lot of free time.

You have to be 14 to have Myspace. I have nieces that are yet not 14, but are on Myspace. I've thought about this a lot. I know everyone is doing it, and I can't really pinpoint what the problems with that can be. You have predators, but since they have strangers blocked and honestly, I don't think it is a problem that has a high probability. It is terrible, so don't get me wrong. So what is the harm? My other concern his how kids communicate with each other, but that same problem exists on the school ground. I need to keep thinking about this, but if it were me I'd be using it.

So I joined PokerXfactor and have been watching a lot of the videos. I hope my game improves, but I won't know for a few weeks. My bankroll is running dangerously low, but mainly due to paying for the subscription. One of my problems is that I don't have enough time to play. I would love to devote more hours, but with school, work and trying to live a normal life, I just can't justify 4 hour blocks of time. Each sit and go runs about 45 mins and I can't do more than 3 at a time. So I usually need at least a good two hour block to play about 6. I can't play until I get home MWF and that is already 6pm. I'm also tired and want to relax for a bit. I don't get home until 8pm Tu Thurs, so I only have 2 hours there if I eat while I play. Then there talking to my girlfriend who I miss very much and will always make time for, talking to my roommate, homework, family, friends. I'll figure it out I guess, I'm sure when I am winning I will have more incentive.

So far I have no spring break plans. I was thinking San Diego, but I'm not sure where I'm on that issue. I'm really looking forward to that break.

I have been listening to NPR lately. I don't know how I drove without it. It is very good.

Today I am wearing a tie which was the first tie I ever bought. I think I bought it at Bealls in 7th grade so that I could wear it to school on Wednesdays (we had to for football). I can't believe I still have it. This is 1992, so this tie is 15 years old. You would think it is out of style, which I think it is. Actually, there is a picture in the yearbook with me wearing it. I thought that was an interesting factoid.

Here is another factoid. There are 6 cats in my house. My upstairs male housemate has 2 cats. I have two cats. My downstairs male housemate has 2 cats. All indoor cats, yet they never get to see each other. How funny is that? A house of cats. More cats than people in the house (4).

choose to be happy

Dog Sitting

"Aim at being loved without being admired." - Ludwig Wittgenstein

This was an interesting weekend. My aunt and uncle went out of town and I agreed to house/dog/cat sit for the weekend. I didn't go out Friday night and just played some online poker. Saturday I played more poker and then took the 45 min drive to Manassas. It was a big lonely house, but I did have company with the pets. It was a bit cold, which makes me think I keep my heat way too high. I felt bad letting the dog out to go to the restroom because it was so cold, but I guess it's worth it. I guess I haven't had much interaction with dogs, they really love attention. I did my best, but maybe I'm just not that excited of a person. They have two cats, Phoenix and DC. DC is the perfect type of cat, a lap cat. DC ignored me most of the time, but when it wanted attention, it would jump on me and go to sleep. Phoenix was more of a maverick and wanted to be outside hunting. It was too cold, so I didn't let him out (excluding those times he would run out.) I set up shop in the computer room and just worked on my sit and go poker skills. I'm still break even and I need to turn it profitable. I'm taking steps in that direction. Erika was at SPI for a dance competition. I went to bed late which led to sleeping in. I did get up early to let the dog out and then back to sleep it was. Imagine, me, with two strange cats at the foot of the bed and a dog on the floor all asleep. I'm just a lazy animal I guess. The next day I missed the New Orleans game while I played a bit of poker and got dressed. Mark invited me to a poker game later in the night. It started snowing the night before, so this day it was just covered in snow. I left as the sun was going down.

The snow was terrible, probably at least 2-3 inches, probably more since I don't know how to measure that. I cleaned off my truck and tried to make my way down a snowy driveway. I was able to get out and then hit the street. It had not been cleared since it was a local street, but I had decent trackion. My thought was that this wouldn't be too bad. Well it got worse. Every street was just covered and my truck kept fishtailing. I was going 20 miles an hour the entire time. I noticed I wasn't breathing, so I'd have to stop and start to breath. At one point, the car in front of me started to swerve and spun around and crashed right into the barrier. I slowed down and tried not to join the problem as he turned around and tried to keep going. A while later, I hit a spot where I was fishtailing bad and my truck almost turned sideways...this with a line of cars behind me. They patiently waited as I tried to right myself and get past this patch. I made some calls so that I could have company, but most people were busy and I ended up just worrying my day more that I was on my handsfree while driving. I finally made it to my destination over an hour and 45 mins later. I don't miss driving in the snow and will be happy when it is gone.

I arrived at Chris's place for the poker game Mark told me about. It was a $20 buy-in .25/.50 cash game. The first thing I noticed was that the stacks were a bit big, meaning that there had probably been a few rebuys pumped into the game. I tried to play a straight tight agressive game and not call off too many bets. It was hard because you couldn't get people off a draw and bluffing was ineffective. I was able to find a few good spots and I ended up cashing out $100. That $80 profit made me feel a lot better about my game. We have yet to start up a weekly game, but I've been wanting this for years and it just never seems to happen. I guess I can just keep trying.

The football game was good. I'm happy to see the Colts finally in the Superbowl. I hope it is a good game. It always sucks when football is over.

Today it is cold. We have a will signing today, so I know the canceling of work was out of the question. The government is open and Mason opened at 10am. I would of hated for it to be canceled just because I would rather a cancelation be on a day I have class. I probably shouldn't be that selfish, but my wishes don't affect anything. Work was pretty normal today.

I met this sng kid online the other day. I had run into him at a lot of tables and noticed that he was a consistent winner. When I looked him up at sharkscope, I saw how profitable he was. I asked him for advice and he actually took the time to help me out. A complete stranger. I read his blog and it is interesting to see how a lot of people go through a lot of the same things in life, yet still very very different. So as I work on my game, I hope to learn some stuff from him and get better. He can play 12 tables at once, isn't that crazy. I can do 2 no problem, but 4+ and I just lose any edge. He told me I need to get my sng theory down, so I'm off to work on that and see how my play changes. I'm not shy from pushing, and I think I do it a lot, but somehow I feel like I'm supposed to be pushing more. I don't know, still have a lot of videos to go through.

appreciate what you have

Hope

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." -Ambrose Bierce

So much of your outlook depends on your emotions. If you are feeling great, the world looks great...but if you are feeling down, then the world looks down. So how does one feel down, but try to keep your outlook positive? Try not to feel down? Well that isn't possible, I mean you can mitgate it..but it sometimes wins out. It is amazing how one person's positive words can have more power and affect than all the positive thinking you can muster. I am thankful for those words and feel so much better.

I have never owned a Northface Jacket. I mention this because I saw so many in college and for me it was a sign of affluence. I have never even checked the price but always thought they were cool. I thought about getting one, like I think about getting anything I seem to want, but it doesn't make sense. It won't be cold for long enough and soon I'll be leaving this cold. So no jacket for me.

Neteller is no longer accepting US customers. This is going to make my poker life complicated. I am not happy about this at all.

Tonight is a super tv spectacular night. First we have Colbert on the Factor and Oreilly on Colbert. Then we have Smallville, the Office, Earl, Grey's Antatomy, the OC and I feel like I'm still missing something. My dvr will be going crazy tonight.

brightline

Long Night

"Beauty is not in the face; Beauty is a light in the heart." - Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)

I missed my first class today. It was soley my fault and a choice I made that I am ok with. It was of course the first time the professor took attendance. A bad call, but I just accept it and move on. You know what sucks? It sucks when you stay up waiting for someone to call you and they don't. There is a point when you stop assuming they are busy and figure they went to bed without calling (falling asleep by accident). I've done it many times, not planning on it, laying down and falling asleep, only to wake up later feeling terrible that I didn't call. Sometimes people are understanding, others they get mad at you (in my case usually for sleeping too much.) Well last night, I was told to expect a call and that call did not come. Finally at about 2am I figured they had fallen asleep. Considering I have been battling insomina and didn't take any sleep aids, I ended up staying up until past 5am. The next morning, I decide I'm going to skip my morning class so that I can be rested for my afternoon classes. I think I'm going to get all kinds of brownie points for being such a good person and staying up waiting and not just giving up and going to bed. Instead I get disappointment that I missed my class. I guess what is most fustrating is that I was expecting some sort of praise instead of fustration. I know it is up to me to control my expectations, but maybe I'm just not every good at it. It does make me happy that she got to sleep since she is always so busy.

Ok, now that I have got that off my chest. When you start to feel bad, it sometimes just gets worse. Very few grades are in and one class that I thought I did badly in, I just passed. What really killed me was that I got the lowest grade in the class. Honestly, I deserved it, but it still feels shitty. I guess I just need to accept that I can't change the past, I got what I deserved and I need to move on knowing that it isn't a true reflection of my abilities. I have to let it go, but until all my grades are in, it will be lingering in my mind. I'm still on track for graduation.

I got an email update from my friends. It sounds like Herbert is trying to better himself and Juan is very much in love. There is nothing more you could wish for a person. I have yet to meet this girl, but I'm sure I'll get to meet her soon. It is good to hear how your friends are doing, especially since none of them have joined myspace.

I finally set up my slingbox on my living room dvr. This is going to be great for many reasons. Sometimes I like to watch DVRed shows for hours and watching from bed is better than in the living room. So now I can just pull up my living room TV on my computer in my room and then route through to my bedroom tv. I know this sounds all complicated, but just know I'm happy with my gadgets.

My room is finally clean, but my bills still need to be sorted. I have a stack so large that I keep putting it off. They have been paid, but I need to put them where they go. I need to figure out a way to keep update with putting stuff where it goes and I won’t have to devote hours to sorts envelopes.

Last night I watched Lord of War. It was a movie that Abram got me for Christmas. I enjoyed it. It was a good follow up to Blood Diamond. I am glad I don't own a gun. I have a long netflix queue, but very few movies that I am looking forward to seeing. I should work on that.

I need to start planning for Spring Break. It is my only time off this semester and my last vacation before the stress starts to compound. I'm thinking San Diego, and I hope it works out.

strong work, marty

Good Morning Miss Bliss

"Poker exemplifies the worst aspects of capitalism that have made our country so great." -Walter Matthau

So it's Saturday morning and I end up watching Pollyanna on the Hallmark channel. I never knew the story, so I figured this would be a good chance to find out what it is about. The movie is from 1960 and I started wondering how everyone grew up and who was alive and who was dead. I decided to look up the character of Pollyanna (Hayley Mills) and I found out that she grew up to be Miss Bliss from "Good Morning Miss Bliss" aka Saved by the Bell:The Junior High Years. It says she was in the Parent Trap from 1961, but I have never seen that. I love IMDB. I did not expect her to get paralzyed in the movie. You never find out if she gets better after her surgery, which I think would of been a happier ending.

I talked to my aunt this weekend. I am going to be dog sitting for her in Manassas next weekend. They are going out of town. This is the type of situation where you wish someone could come with you to keep you company. Erika is going to be at the beach, so I don't really have her there either. I don't know much about dog sitting, but I'm sure I will do fine. Maybe I'll get some homework done or get in some online poker time.

Sunday I felt like I needed to get away from thinking for a while. I was getting over being sick and decided to watch my recorded episodes of the OC. I haven't seen one this season. I turned it on and started cleaning. I cleaned my treadmill room, then the living room. I started drinking halfway through the episodes and by 5:30am I was drunk and done watching them. I am now current. I do understand why it is getting canceled. My room still needs cleaning.

I got MLK day off from work. I don't mind being able to sleep in every now and then. Today is my sister Ana's birthday. I haven't been home to celebrate one of her birthdays in years. The same for my mother and sister Eliza. I hope she has a good day.

was I good?

Still no Snow

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed." - Carl Jung (1875 - 1961)

Another aniversary arrives and I'm more grateful that Erika came into my life. She has been really busy with school, so I haven't talked to her as much as I have gotten used to, but I am impressed with how productive she is. I don't think I could handle so much being expected of me at one time. It is nice that I get to talk to her each night before I get to bed. She taught me about Treet meat the other night. I had never heard of it.

So I've added the comments section to my blog. I figured since my message board wasn't the bastion of activity I hoped it would be, at least people could leave comments on any of my entries. I could not figure out for the life of me how to get them to work, but now they are up.

So it hasn't snowed yet. I'm not looking forward to snow, but kind of want it to come so that it can be over with sort of thing. It is very cold though and it should be rainy this weekend. I hope to use the weekend to clean up and get my life in order.

So still no grades. This seems like forever. Just let me know how I did already. Next week I plan on confirming I'm good for graduation and then I can just go into school mode.

My mom just discovered forwards. It is only poetic justice that I get so many from her now since I despise forwards. I won't go on and on on why they drive me insane, but I just thought it was a fitting way for her to be introduced to the email world.

I can't wait to get my refund check. It is hard to budget for a semester instead of the month. You feel like you have money for a little bit, but have to remember that once you substract all the rent payments, bills, car and food, I actually need more of. I guess poor people, me included, feel like the money is burning a hole in my pocket and needs to go back where it came from. I can't seem to lose it fast enough. I'm trying to decide if I'm going to prepay my rent until May.

I can't wait for next week when Colbert and O'reilly are on each other's shows. I'm sure it will either be legendary (how I met your mother) or a let down. I will be tuning in.

jane is cool

The Surge

"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge." - Charles Darwin

Last night I watched the Presidential address the new plan for Iraq. I have never been a big fan of the Iraq war, but even if you support the cause, the administration of the war has been terrible. I hope congress fights this and least makes it clear that America does not support putting more people in danger. The speech wasn't too bad, but when put in context, it is just too late to come up with a formula to win. This should have been done 4 years ago. How can people still support this administration? At least we are paving a way to blame the Iraqis for our failure, that will at least give us an out.


I'm starting the second part of my week. Soon I'll get a good feeling about what daily life is going to feel like. My routine is very important to me. I'm usually lost without it. I like to know where I have to be and when. I value my leisure time.

Law and Econ wasn't too bad. I'm still not too happy with my seat, but the class seems like I'll be ok. I worry because my econ background is weak, but it is something important to know. I like that there isn't attendance taken. Should I be saying that.

I had lunch alone in the law school cafeteria. I can’t really read while I’m eating, so I tried to finish quickly and get to my externship class today. I don't think the class part will be that bad, but after one day I don't really know what I should be expecting. I turned in my contract and now I just need to do my 180 hours. I need to find a way to make those 50 mins feel more productive.

After my externship, I went home and ran some errands. I had to go to the bank and then to the post office. I spent the rest of my time at home cleaning off my desk and setting up my binder for this semester. I have to take some time and sort my 2006 bills and then start up a new folder system for the 2007 bills. I have a large pile of envelopes ready to be put into the right slots. I also need to bag my receipts as well. I feel like I am a very organized-disorganized person. I am always shifting back and forth. My room is either clean or messy, never much in between. I should be spending this time studying for my two classes I have at 4 and 6. I have this idea that I'll be a studying monster during this time, but on this first day it did not happen. It is always easier to imgaine yourself being productive, the doing it part never seems to completely follow.

There are still no grades out. This has been forever. I don't want to know my grades really, but it would be nice to have the confidence that I passed so I can put last semester behind me. I should probably go in and make sure I'm on track for graduation just in case. I'm pretty sure I am taking enough credits.

My favorite TV shows are coming back this week. I was happy to hear from Erika last night that Grey's Anatomy is starting today. I'd better get my DVR ready. I've missed some smallville episodes I need to catch up on. I heard they canceled the OC, so I should probably watch this final season soon. Still waiting for Lost and Heros. I'm thinking I might add House to my dvr, but I haven't decided yet.

I want to learn to tie my tie in different ways. I think I know two ways I have used my entire life, but there are many different ways. The reason is that I think there are better ways and since I've been wearing ties since the 7th grade, I should probably learn some new tricks. So if you know how to tie a tie well, let me know.

We get monday off, but I have no class on Monday. I don't yet know if I get off for work. I guess at the end of the semester classes end on a Monday, which means I end on the Thursday before that, so that isn't too bad.

Poker people, if you are in DC and play, let me know. So I'm thinking we will try to do the Thursday poker night again this semester, but as far as I know it is not happening this week. I just like the live experience, I mean I usually spend more money on food and beer for everything than I can win. I also enjoy the company I guess.

heavy books

Back to the Real World

"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget." - Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin (1973) "Personal Conduct"

My webpage went down for a few days. I wonder if anyone noticed. I finally got everything up and running again, so I can blog away my final semester. I have added pictures of my Christmas trip home. I've also updated my links so that you can get to each album from my webpage. When I got back from Texas, I went to visit my aunt and uncle for lunch. I got to see their new cats and their newly remodeled kitchen. I took them some tortillas from the valley.

Monday was my first day of work of my 180 hour internship. That sounds like a lot, but it is better than taking another class. I was used to sleeping in each day, so waking up early everyday is going to take some adjustment. The day went fine, but I don't know how I feel about MWF since there is always a gap that I'll be missing.

I'm not looking forward to starting school, mainly because of the assignments. I have all my books and now I need to find a way to sell off all my old law school books. I have too many books and am keeping them to protest the prices the bookstore offers, but they are becoming useless. Mainly I don't want to move them.

I don't know why I felt nervous for the first day of class, but maybe it has something to do with wanting everything to go right with my final semester. I don't know what to expect really. I just want to know if each class is going to be managable.

My first class was a Law and Econ seminar. I wanted to go early to get a good seat, instead I got there just a little bit early and got the seat next to the professor. I think I'm going to get called on more.

After my first class, I went to the YMCA to find out how much it cost. $2 a visit seems like a great deal. I have a gap between classes, so I got some gas, picked up some lunch then went home. I’m feeling sick today, so I took a nap when I got home to try and sleep it off a bit. I’m not sick enough to be sick, but enough to feel crappy. Not good timing, but I’ll take it over during finals or my Christmas break. Once I woke up I drove back to campus for class. I have Conflict of Laws, a small break and then Commercial Paper. The only difference for my Thursday classes is that I have an addition hour of class for my externship.

Last night I watched the National Championship for college football. I think somone could of made a lot of money betting exactly the opposite of who I thought was going to win. No sports betting for me. Speaking of betting, my poker is terrible, it is like I forgot to play. Maybe I was always bad. I need to keep this poker thing affordable, I don't want it to cost me money considering it is costing me time.

I also saw the movie Miami Vice for the first time. There were a lot of guns, but very little shooting...well until the end. I saw the director's cut, which was over 2 hours long. It was dark, but since I don't have much experience with the original I don't have much to say.

why am I in dc

The Holidays

"Practice yourself what you preach." - Titus Maccius Plautus (254 BC - 184 BC), Asinaria

I was home for the holidays. It was a long time, but yet it went by so fast. Let me talk about the highlights since I didn't do any writing on vacation. I'm glad I got to see my family and friends. So finals end in Dec. and I am exhausted. I finish up my final papers and pack up for my flight. I arrive in Texas on the 20th and my sister Ana picks me up. Erika had her last day of work. We went to the mall but since I hadn't slept all night, I wasn't much in the shopping mood. I don't get to see Erika until much later that night and she bears with me and how sleepy I was. I stayed with her most of the trip, which started to feel really normal by the end. The 21st I take my nieces and nephew to the movies with some free tickets I was able to get. They behaved for the most part. The next thing I remember is on the 23rd I went to my uncle's house for an Alaniz family party. I don't get to see that side of the family much so I had a very good time seeing people who are related to me. People I hadn't seen in about 15 years and I haven't been alive very long. He built a new house and it was the first time I had seen it finished.

Christmas eve is when my family opens presents. I ask why too much, but that is when we do it. Erika came over and everyone ate and opened presents. The kids had a good time and I hope my family enjoyed what I got them. On Christmas, Bekkah and Jamie came over and opened their presents. I took them to see a movie the next day. I then went with Erika to spend Christmas day with her family. I got to meet a lot of people and by the end of the trip, I feel like I know who most people are. I got to see my first white elephant exchange and Romo blow it for the Cowboys. At night, we met up with Erika's cousins and played board games at her house. It was a very good time. I like board games. The next day was my Dad's bday. At night I went to a pool hall as saw my friends.

On the 27th, I turned 27. It was one of my most enjoyable birthdays. We did the usual going to Red Lobster lunch with my family, then a nap and at night I went to placed called Hillbilies with my friends. I also got a lot of very nice presents from Erika. From a nice watch to all kinds of thoughtful gifts that I was really thankful for (including Christmas gifts). I don't feel like I'm pushing 30 yet.

The 28th I went to visit my grandparents in Harlingen. I got to see some cousins, play poker for a bit and then at night meet up with a cousin of mine from Houston who I hadn't seen in year. We met up with Ana and Eliza at a bar. Erika joined us later. The night ended with darts.

The 29th I was invited to play cards with Erika's family. I enjoyed it and learned a lot of cards games that I did not know. I broke even, which I'm happy about. I also got to work on learning who more people are.

The 30th I made another trip to the mall, and at night we went to see a UFC fight with Rick. The food was great and we hung out with Sandy and Vera.

New years eve I had lunch with my mom, got her tire fixed and went to Eliza's place. It was the first time I saw it and very nice. I'm looking forward to getting my own place when I move home. At night I went with Erika's to her family's new years celebration. They had food and fireworks. It was fun and bringing in New Years was so much better than last year since I got to spend it with someone I love. I also had fun with the fireworks. It was a bit cold, but I also got to play bingo.

After new years, we made some trips to Target to get Erika's bar stools and I started to realize how fast time was moving. Erika's parents took us out to dinner at a very nice place. The steak was the best I had had in a long time. On the 3rd we ordered a botana and I saw my family for the last time before I was going to leave. Then we went bowling.

The 4th snuck up on me and it sucked having to get on the plane. Erika was sweet enough to take me. I have one more semester to go before I finally be done.

When I got home, my cats missed me but man how my house smelled. I guess that is what happens when you put out 6 litter boxes. Now I'm just cleaning up and trying to get ready for class next week. I don't think I have been mentally ready for school since 2 years ago.

So that was a short time line summary of my trip home. It is mainly there to trigger my memories when I look back on my trip. There was so much I didn't talk about and so much I forgot, from seeing another movie, to more trips to the mall. The best part was spending it with Erika and getting to know her better. I was able to see the people that cared about me and even learn some important lessons.

faith and trust