I missed my first class today. It was soley my fault and a choice I made that I am ok with. It was of course the first time the professor took attendance. A bad call, but I just accept it and move on. You know what sucks? It sucks when you stay up waiting for someone to call you and they don't. There is a point when you stop assuming they are busy and figure they went to bed without calling (falling asleep by accident). I've done it many times, not planning on it, laying down and falling asleep, only to wake up later feeling terrible that I didn't call. Sometimes people are understanding, others they get mad at you (in my case usually for sleeping too much.) Well last night, I was told to expect a call and that call did not come. Finally at about 2am I figured they had fallen asleep. Considering I have been battling insomina and didn't take any sleep aids, I ended up staying up until past 5am. The next morning, I decide I'm going to skip my morning class so that I can be rested for my afternoon classes. I think I'm going to get all kinds of brownie points for being such a good person and staying up waiting and not just giving up and going to bed. Instead I get disappointment that I missed my class. I guess what is most fustrating is that I was expecting some sort of praise instead of fustration. I know it is up to me to control my expectations, but maybe I'm just not every good at it. It does make me happy that she got to sleep since she is always so busy.
Ok, now that I have got that off my chest. When you start to feel bad, it sometimes just gets worse. Very few grades are in and one class that I thought I did badly in, I just passed. What really killed me was that I got the lowest grade in the class. Honestly, I deserved it, but it still feels shitty. I guess I just need to accept that I can't change the past, I got what I deserved and I need to move on knowing that it isn't a true reflection of my abilities. I have to let it go, but until all my grades are in, it will be lingering in my mind. I'm still on track for graduation.
I got an email update from my friends. It sounds like Herbert is trying to better himself and Juan is very much in love. There is nothing more you could wish for a person. I have yet to meet this girl, but I'm sure I'll get to meet her soon. It is good to hear how your friends are doing, especially since none of them have joined myspace.
I finally set up my slingbox on my living room dvr. This is going to be great for many reasons. Sometimes I like to watch DVRed shows for hours and watching from bed is better than in the living room. So now I can just pull up my living room TV on my computer in my room and then route through to my bedroom tv. I know this sounds all complicated, but just know I'm happy with my gadgets.
My room is finally clean, but my bills still need to be sorted. I have a stack so large that I keep putting it off. They have been paid, but I need to put them where they go. I need to figure out a way to keep update with putting stuff where it goes and I won’t have to devote hours to sorts envelopes.
Last night I watched Lord of War. It was a movie that Abram got me for Christmas. I enjoyed it. It was a good follow up to Blood Diamond. I am glad I don't own a gun. I have a long netflix queue, but very few movies that I am looking forward to seeing. I should work on that.
I need to start planning for Spring Break. It is my only time off this semester and my last vacation before the stress starts to compound. I'm thinking San Diego, and I hope it works out.
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