Monday I had the day off, but I didn't get too much done. I spent most of the day listening to cds and planning out my next few months. Later in the day, I spent some time talking to my younger sister. She is going through some really hard times right now and I hope that she comes out of it a better person who has a better quality of life. I know she is hurting and going through a lot, but I know she is going to grow from this. I can't be there for her in person, but hopefully I can be there for her from here. I told her how now is the time that she must lead by example for her daughter and show her and herself what a strong woman she is and be successful and happy as her best way to show others they are missing out. Considering I have the most experience with get my heart broken in my family, I had some advice to give her, but unlike her I have never been married and do not have children, so I clearly knew the limitations of my experiences. It is her life and we will let her live it, but unlike in the past when I see people I love making decisions where it is clear to see is hurting them, I am now going to speak up and let them know how I feel. They can still make their own decisions and will still be loved unconditionally, but at least my dissent will have been heard. This is the hardest time for her to learn to truly love herself, but events like this force you to find yourself, who you are and who you want to be. She deserves great things and I hope to help her see that.
Tuesday morning was freaking cold, maybe like 50/60 degrees or so. My roommate turned off the heater at night so I woke up freezing. I went to my Torts class not having finished/done my reading. Why you may ask? No good reason, I was just self sabotaging. I figured since I raised my hand a class before to volunteer, the odds of being called this day were slim. The funny part was that I wasn't prepared for that case (one I volunteered for), but worried I might get called on a harder case so I just did my best with my brief and got past it. So today, I get called on randomly from the roll. I hadn't read the case, so I did the confidence thing. I quickly read the facts of the case to myself right before I was called and they weren't too complicated, so I just recited the facts and the holding hoping I wouldn't get any hard questions. I held my own. I felt like no one noticed I wasn't prepared, but this won't happen too much in the future. Why don't I ever get called on the cases I have pimped out?
My 650 clay poker chips set came in Monday. They are awesome and are just like real casino chips. Now I just need to find some poker buddies to have some good games with. I have a few people I can teach to play, but I want some people that have already started playing. For now I will keep up with my poker stars practice, but I do enjoy the social part of the game. Update: Today one of the guys from my class invited me to play poker tomorrow night. Let's hope this goes well.
Tuesday night I finally talked to my former roommate Mark. We had been playing phone tag for what seemed like weeks. It was nice catching up considering we hadn't talked since I left. Talking to him reminded me what a good (or like Rossum- awesome) roommate he was. This guy is pretty damn smart and educated, so I would spend a lot of time learning shit from him. It was cool having someone to talk to about politics, current events, history and life. Then to make matters better, him and his gf had very good hearts and were kind and generous people, which made them very good friends. They treated Koki great and were fun to hang out with. I introduced him to the daily show, which seems to have made an impact. Speaking of, did you know Jon Stewart played a role in getting Crossfire canceled. I know this is up to debate, but I think it is awesome that he is starting to change the world. Mark is coming down to Ft. Lauderdale this semester, so I hope to hang out with him and hopefully play some good poker. He seems to be doing well with his job, masters program and overall life. He was a good friend that got me through a very hard time in my life without knowing it.
Today I didn't feel like having lunch in the cafeteria, so instead I drove over to that diner/cafe in Miami Lakes where I studied the other day. This time I purchased lunch (10 bucks) studied and left my tip (5 bucks - lady was nice and told me I could stay as long as I want) and then left. One I can't afford the 12 bucks or so it would cost to eat there and it was a bit too dark to eat. It was nice though taking the time to hang out alone and just read and eat. It also wasn't worth long trip either since I only have 2 hours and the travel time ends up being half and hour. So I get back and plan to read for class but decide to shoot the shit in the breezeway. This is something you are told not to do because it isn't good for your studying, but in my need to be more social I decided I would try it today and it felt damn good. I talked to some friends and new people about stupid topics, bitched about class and just hung out. I don't plan to do it too much and these are all hardworking good grade kids, but I am glad I did it.
Today I finally got in touch with my old boss Karen from DC. It was great talking to her and catching her up on how I have been doing. What really felt great is that I had such a wonderful report on how I was doing ok academically, socially and how seeing my family was great. I caught her up on some mundane details of my life, and then asked about how things were going. Well, I found out that she is going to have a baby. I was super excited for her. I bet she would be a great mom. Things seem to be going well at work even though right now they are still interviewing for my position (the last person left to the hill), so hopefully she will get someone soon. She sounded happy, which I guess is the most important thing. Of all the people I have run into in my life, she was one of those mentors that you will never forget. She isn't the type of person that works for the money, but because she genuninely enjoys her job.
I also got an email from my coach from sprint football at Cornell. It was great hearing from him. I told him how I was doing and what I have been up to in the last few years. He seemed happy for me. He did go out of his way to make sure I didn't fuck up academically when I wasn't doing too great, so I know I owe him a debt of gratitude for my graduating. I kind of wish I could have been a better player for him, but at that point in my life I enjoyed the game, but I don't think I sold out and gave it my all. Talk about a day of catching up.
I have been trying to think of times that I felt happy, confident and overall great. Absent times in relationships that I felt like that, I think back and I have to admit that I felt my most confident during my debate years in high school. This is funny because hs is an awkward time where I have more unconfident memories overall, but not in debate or mock trial. I am not one for holding on to the past too tightly, so I don't think of it much, and for some reason have forgotten a lot of the details. I haven't forgotten the feeling though of going into a round and sparing on topics I was well versed in. I learned public speaking and learned that if I knew what I was talking about then I enjoyed it, but if I didn't then I dreaded it. It made me always want to know what I was talking about when in front of people as to not look like an idiot. I learned to work in a team and learned to enjoy learning and it cemented the idea that knowledge is power. There was something that felt good about playing lawyer-like and carrying my briefcase around with all my files in it. I hope to feel that way about life; confident, happy, excited and knowing that I'm gonna kick some ass.
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