South Beach Marty

"I can tell you this much

I will marry just once

And if it doesn't work out

Give her half of my stuff

It's fine with me

We said eternity

And I will go to my grave

With the life that I gave"

- John Mayer - Homelife

Friday has now come and my first week of classes is over. I don't care what anyone says, I feel like this semester is going to be much harder, but I also feel more up to the challenge. I only have one class on Friday and it is at 2pm. This is great, but I worry that I won’t be productive prior to the class on Fridays and end up sleeping in. I need to find a way to make this morning useful so it doesn’t go the way of Saturday and most of Sunday.

A problem I have in class is my attention span. Even if the class is engaging, I feel like I need multiple things going on. I usually chat online with good friends or surf the web, or write here while I’m listening. I don’t know what keeps me from just sitting there and concentrating. I don’t plan to stop doing this because it makes me happy, but I just need to get better at it so that I can maximize my class attention.

A friend of mine needed to go in front of the school appeals board seeking re-admission after not performing as well as they could of last semester. Thursday night I spent some time helping them get ready for the interview. We gave opinions on how to approach it, how to act, and then what to say. We talked about possible questions, possible answers, being honest, humble, repentive, and positive. At some points, the conversations got harsh and I felt like we were almost attacking them, but they did a great job of not letting it affect their self esteem and getting prepared. We ended up getting into some good discussions about life, where we want to go and what our goals are. The next day, things went very well and they came out feeling really good. We still have to wait to get the official word, but I think it is all going to be ok. I guess waiting is the hardest part. Update: They got a call the following day and found out that they were going to have another semester of law school. Crazy how your life can so drastically change in such a short period of time.

There are many times in my life where I choose the avoidance of pain over the desire for pleasure. There have been many times where I haven't fought hard enough for things I really wanted. Realistically, there isn't a difference between being rejected and not doing anything because in the end you still are in the same place. Yeah things can be awkward or something, but it probably won't be too bad or as horrible as I imagine. So right now I'm going after things I want even though I know that it is going to be hard, that I'll be rejected and it won’t be easy. Nevertheless, I know that in the long run I'll be more happy about my decisions. I don't regret risks I've taken in the past, and even the ones that have not worked out, so I am going to take more risks than I have in the past. This goes for everything, from meeting people, to trying to achieve goals to how I feel about myself. This sounds like a lot of bullshit that is easy to say, and I agree it is easy to say, so I hope to really do what I think is the best form of teaching, leading by example.

Saturday was my sister Ana's bday. I called her up to see how her day was going. I got her a digital camera for her to take pictures and be able to share them with everyone. I hope she likes it. Unfortunately, even though I paid extra for it to get there early, my mom was at work, so she hasn't gotten the delivery. I hope she uses this day to really look at her life and start living the life she wants and not the life she has been comfortable with. I'm sure she will do what makes her happy, but you can't blame me for wishing her the best.

Saturday night I went with Frank and Fed to Bongos. It is a Latin dance club in downtown Miami and it was exactly what I expected and more. It was the first time I really felt like I was in Miami. I'm more of a lounge and bar type of person, I enjoy going to places where I can hang out with friends and chat it up over a few beers. I'm not big on clubs and more so on dance clubs. I won’t go into the reasons why right now. This was a dance club, but it was awesome despite my former views of clubs. Everyone there was beautiful and most were great dancers. I had never wanted to know how to dance as much as I did that night. Frank danced away while Fed and I just kicked back, drank and enjoyed the atmosphere and the club. There was one point where this one group of people were dancing in partners and then all of a sudden they all started dancing together. There was at least 6 couples and they were all switching partners, it was pretty damn amazing and it seemed like they had practiced it before, but some people you could tell didn't know each other. I know it was a certain dance, but I was impressed nevertheless. I went up to them afterwards to tell them how awesome they were. I asked one girl about the dance studio she was from and she told me, so I hope to look them up and see what types of lessons they have. Considering it was Miami, there was a lot of eye candy, but there was this one girl there that just struck my attention. It is hard to explain, but I was attracted to her because she looked classy, she was petite, had a plain but pretty face with a soft smile and wasn't there trying to look sexy or trashy, she just looked sweet and cute, simple and happy. Fed didn't think much of her, which made me happy because I could tell she was my taste. We made eye contact a few times during the night and I so badly wanted to ask her to dance, but of course if she said yes I'd be in quite the predicament. So I was going to do nothing and walk away and live life not having made and effort. So, keeping my resolve to be more outgoing, I walked up to talk to her. As we talked, I could see in her eyes that I was just another guy that night hitting on her and she wasn’t very interested. I gracefully bowed out and didn’t bullshit after I knew there was no connection. I don't think I have ever been so empowered by a rejection in my life, as much as it sucked, it felt great because I didn’t go there that night with a goal of picking up a chick, I just went to have a good time so I didn’t care that I didn’t get her number. Now I know that she wasn't interested and I have no regrets and don’t have to lie to myself. I felt so very proud of myself.

Sunday morning I woke up and went out for a run. We are getting a cold front, so it was a very cool morning. I did my one lap (half mile) and then followed my plan of working on learning to play soccer. Playing alone isn't too much fun, but I used the goals they had and had a great time working on my kicking and dribbling. I kept thinking, if I do a little each day of learning something, over time I'll know a lot more than if I did nothing. While I was there, I made some interesting observations. One was that the kids playing organized soccer were very good. I mean the kicks and passes they were making where very fast and crisp and I could tell they could kick my ass. I figured if they can do it, then I can do it. I also saw something that made me feel good. I saw a dad take his two little boys and his daughter to the park to shoot off a rocket. He had a video camera and they all counted down as the younger boy pushed the button to shoot the rocket into the air. As the rocket shot up I wondered how they would get it back, when I noticed that a parachute shot out and it sailed back to their area. The kids were having a blast and as a spectator I thought it was damn cool. I saw another dad with his little boy teaching him how to hit a baseball, the boy was like 5 or 6. I hope when I'm a parent I am as thoughtful enough to take the time to spend time with my kids at the park.

After I was done with my running, Frank called me and told me that he was cooking and if I wanted to go over and eat. I dropped by this Nicaraguan restaurant and picked up some "gallo pinto" rice and then went to Franks. He was BBQing, something I can do, but haven't done enough to be really good at. My younger brother is much better than I am at this. The food was good and we bullshited about school and life. The coolest part of the day was that I was on my way home and then I just went by and had lunch at a friends house, it was a nice change of pace and routine. It is nice to be independent and just pick and go as you please, take trips when you want and do what you want.

I have Monday off from school, but what worries me is that I have done a lot this weekend, but have not spent a lot of time working on law school stuff. People have been telling me with all my goals I have for this year how am I going to study for law school? I don't worry about that because I plan to use the time I don't study for school to pursue all my hobbies/goals.

I want to see you.