Ok, I know you are out there, friends and people who read this page and haven't signed the guestbook. Come on, make my day and give me a signature other than all those spam type ads I always seem to get on there. Also note I have a message board, which seems to be ignored as well. Even just a hey, what's up would be enough. I'm not saying my self-esteem needs it, but it wouldn't hurt. I also like to know who is actually reading this.
I am noticing that I am not working as hard on this law school thing as I should this semester. I think I am using all my outside activities/goals as a distraction from actually getting my work done. I feel more motivated about learning, but it still sucks I have to sit down and do those hours of reading. I am more into school this semester than before, but my output isn't where I want it to be yet. I am going to figure out something to change this, cause I am going to get amazing grades this semester.
Today in contracts a chick got called on and she pretty much said she wasn't prepared and the professor said she would get called on Monday. Had this been property, she would have been kicked out. I have thought of using that excuse, but I usually am too scared and am at least half ass prepare when I am not fully prepared. I got called on in the last class, so I think I have bought some time in this class. I spent time writing in class and don't feel like I listened as well as I should of.
Our school has come out with its picture book. I think it is kind of cool to put names to a lot of the faces I see. I wonder if it would be worth learning the names of all the people in my class (I've learned all 70 in my section), but since most/everyone else doesn't know me, it might be weird if I knew their name. There are some people whose pictures are missing, which is easy to tell when there are some hot girls that are not in there. Let me tell you how I have gone about learning people's names in my section. First there are those you learn easily because you know them, but for the rest, I read the roll we sign each day from top to bottom and visual all the faces. Each day I get better and better.
A few days ago, I was in the library and I heard 3 girls talking about their friend who had just got her implants. They were talking mad shit about how they were too big for her and then one defended her friend (impressive for a girl) saying she probably didn't intend to make them that big and thinks she is upset about that. Really could they be too big? I didn't know who they were talking about, but I just averaged the looks of those 3 girls and figured she probably wasn't that hot of a chick. I think I am just naive about a lot of shit (ie cocaine use, etc.), which means I think that very few girls get this done, or at least want to, but I am learning more and more that more girls than I think want/have them. I'd have to say that I don't think I've ever hooked up with a girl who had them, but I usually take it for granted that they are real and don't think too much about it. I don't think I fully understand a woman's need to want to be hot, yet despite being treated like a sex object. Either way, I guess it works out for guys, so I won't complain...too much.
Tuesday morning I did not wake up early as I planned to run. I got up in time to get ready for class, but I had to pass up the running in the morning. I was really pissed with myself, but after class, I went to the gym and did my running workout. No loss, but it wasn't a good way to set a new habit. I've been thinking about it and I have noticed that in my life, I am more motivated doing things on my own than counting on other people. When I got in great shape, I did it on my own, every time I have tried to enlist buddies, they either are not up for it, or do not motivate me in any way. I enjoy counting on other people, but not for personal goals, I have to put the weight on myself so that I can't blame anybody. I think that is part of why married men get fat. I really have nothing better to do right now than make myself a kick ass awesome person, not to discount the pretty pimp person I am now.
I hate the assignments in my writing class. I feel like they are so useless and take up so much of my time. I love to write and want to learn to write well, especially as a lawyer, but these assignments seem like such bullshit. Though if I hold the bullshit standard to learning, I'd never learn anything, which means I just need to get over it and get my work done. So I go around thinking like everyone else, but I when I think about stuff, I think, wow, I should write this down. Usually I'd just go home and tell someone my thoughts, but people don't seem as interested in my random thoughts when I speak them, so I just write them down now (though I still talk about them quite a bit as well). The problem is that when I think of stuff, I am usually in a position where I can't write it down. For example, when I am driving, when I'm in the shower or the like. Why is it that the best ideas come when we have trouble keeping them.
Today my backpack was very heavy. I think it has to do with my being sore from the upper body workout, but I had all kinds of stuff in it, from my lunch, to water and the majority of the weight, my books and computer. It made me get a flashback of seeing Terri in DC carrying her super large full backpack one day after work when we met up and me thinking, wow, is that really how much law students have to carry around. I didn't quite believe it at the time, but now I am starting to fully understand. I'm glad my back isn't hurt or anything.
Let me talk a bit about my Spanish tapes. They are pretty simple so far, but I think it is important to learn the basics. I'm doing great and am learning to say Castellano instead of espanol. A friend of mine told me that he knows a lot of white people that marry Cubans and learn to speak Spanish like native speakers. I've actually seen it a few times as well. It really motivated me in having confidence in the power of these tapes and my ability to kick ass. I should be done with all 3 levels by the summer and Spain will be a great place to practice and after I think I'll be an official Spanish speaking person. Speaking of, I got my letter of registration for Spain, so now I am officially going, which is really damn pimp. Now I need to plan what I'm going to do about koki and mia, and my apartment, but it has a lot to do with whether I get accepted to any of my transfer schools or stay here. There are many permutations here, but I'm sure it will all fall into place. Back to Spanish, I have a problem wanting to use the word "yo" for "I" way too much when you really don't have to. For example "yo hablo Castellano" where I could just say "hablo castellano."
So part of my program lets me do and eat what I want on Sundays. So that means I have all week to plan out my meals on Sunday. I'm going to really test that part of the program and have Taco Bell or Pollo Tropical for lunch and for dinner, I am finally going to try cooking Picadio, a food I haven't had in a long time. Let's hope I can wait that long. Hopefully I can find where I left that recipe, hope I didn't delete it.
Since Vday is coming up, here comes the talk about the subject that I do every year. There are probably a few more of these to come. So today I get an email from pro flowers reminding me to buy flowers again from them for the elephant in the room. I haven't purchased from them in at least 2 years, but the idea of remembering your last order and reminding you is good marketing tool,but it is kind of annoying. Considering this has happened in the past, you'd think I'd just add that address to my spam filter. On the same subject, I talk to my grandmother one or twice a week and though she is usually really good about it, she sometimes finds a way to bring up people I'd probably rather talk or think about. She is getting more cunning in the way she does it. I was talking to her about my younger sister and relationships when she mentioned some of mine as an example and then threw in a question. She means well and I guess it sucks that she liked her so much, but so is life.
I learned in contracts today that Burger King was founded in Miami. Cool shit huh, the only other place I know of where it was founded was Whataburger, which was founded in Corpus Christi. I have some very good memories there. I don't know where either of the original stores are, but I think our professor said the original Burger King was somewhere off Flagler. I wonder where McDonalds was founded, well I guess I don't wonder too much cause I could probably look it up and I don't really care to.
Yesterday I was talking to a classmate who used to be a ballerina about dancing and a place in Miami Lakes where I could sign up for classes. During the conversation, a few guys added in that it would be a great idea and one guy said, "girls equate dancing with sex, so that should be good." That was kind of the reason I never really wanted to learn to dance (that and the two left feet part), because I would think of it as fake sex (look at any hip hop club) and it bother me for two reasons. One, who wants to date a slut who pretends having sex with all kinds of guys and secondly, I hate cock teases and I see dancing (some forms more than others) as a cock tease, so why would I want that. If I want to have sex, I'll just have sex, why pretend in public. This was a mindset really holding me back, something it took me a while to get over so that I could move forward in actually learning. I don't think about it the same way anymore as far as the extent to which everyone see is that way, and I know everyone is different and yes, a lot of girls on the dance floor are sluts and cock teases, but that isn't the reason why all of them are there. I mention the subject cause its a goal I don't think I've taken as many steps on as my others.
what are your intentions? what do you want?
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