When Confronted

"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." - Plato

I feel like I always have my epiphanies in the shower. All of a sudden it all makes sense, but I am too wet to write it down, so I tell myself I'll write my thought/idea down when I get out. After washing off the shampoo and drying myself, I just go about my way and forget to do anything no matter how much I promised myself to remember. It is like when you wake up and remember that dream but don't think about it and it fades away when you remember how you wanted to remember it.

So one of those thoughts was about the cliche about truly experiencing the moment. Maybe it is a cliche for a reason. I am rarely in the moment it seems, yet I reminisce about moments all the time. How can I look back with fond memories of a moment I didn't fully experience. Is it that it doesn't have meaning until it has context? My mind is always thinking about what is next, where I have to be, what I'm doing next, my goals, what I'm doing tomorrow, a funny story I heard. It is like when you are excited about something and just want to go to sleep so that it will come faster. My mind is just somewhere else a lot of the time. I wonder if people notice.

Tuesday I got my business cards. I was very excited and proud. I hope the picture is sufficiently blurry so I'm not posting it on the net, but clear enough to see my name and how cool I feel. I've had business cards before when I worked at my old job in DC, but I kind of felt like they were there mainly for my own good feeling and not any true business purpose since I rarely had occasion to pass out a "Program Coordinator" card to people I met. "Here take my card." I'll get to be one of those business jerks. (10 points if you get the Simpsons reference.)

Imagine if HBO instead of CBS had the Victoria Secret fashion show tonight. I'm just saying. (I just saw the commercial.)

I was reading a blog of a friend of mine (well Abram's friend). It got me to thinking about how so many people are dealing with the same thoughts and questions. You know, have the same drive and concerns. I don't know, I like reading friend's blogs, I just feel like most people I know are spending their time living, not just talking about living. :)

I get more views from my MySpace blog link than I do on my blogger page. I've only had this page for years. It is funny how things work. I still like my blogger page more. I still wonder who reads though. Wish people would feel more free to say hello or comment on things they agree or don't agree with. Sometimes other people's insight helps you see things in a better way.

I don't tithe. It is one of those things we decide we will do later, you know when we have a lot of money. Just like giving to charity, paying off those cards and finishing up our to do list. My goal is to tithe my biblical 10% (where in the bible is that again?) but in the form of charity and in my case charity of the people that touch my lives. When I creating my operating monthly budget, I think I will make this a staple. Sadly, I have obligations I need to take care of first, but it is on my mind.

Perfectionists Make Themselves Miserable Yet several recent studies stand as a warning against taking the platitudes of achievement too seriously. The findings not only confirm that such purists are often at risk for mental distress, but also suggest that perfectionism is a valuable lens through which to understand a variety of seemingly unrelated mental difficulties, from depression to compulsive behavior to addiction.

If you have ever seen my room you know I'm not a perfectionist, and I have never considered myself one. I remember when people used to say, "What is your biggest weakness?" and the person would respond, "I'm a perfectionist." I think a lot of people consider themselves to be perfectionists though.

Politics: Countdown: Bush’s Nukyular Credibility Meltdown about the revelations from the NIE report that Iran halted its nuclear program back in 2003. I didn't think Bush was serious about invading Iran until I started to hear him repeat the same WMD arguments he made about Iraq.

There isn't too much tv talk since the Writer's Strike. I hope they get what they work so hard for. October Road is still on (not sure how long), and I really like the show even though it is somewhat slow compared to some of my other shows. Maybe I just like the writing. I like collecting quotes, so here are my quote summary from today's episode:
Tell me what to do, how to make things better?
I want to forgive her, but I can't get the picture ... out of my mind.
All the lies they told me.
Maybe there is no way back to who we were or what I thought we had.
Living inside your head with all those thoughts, it will crush you.
The only way to get out is to face what really did happen. Embrace it, own it.
I thought I was ok with it, I thought I was fine.
He has to let go because she is definitely marrying another dude.
The details, what would they do? It is better than all the possibilities going through his head.
Who comes to dance? Dancing, it is just so - romantic.
I just like knowing what to expect everyday.
With Ray you know what to expect everyday.
Sometimes people just need someone to say, "I get it and it sucks."
It is only six weeks and in the grand scheme of things...
All I know is that is the past, and when it comes to past no matter how much it hurts, it's done.
I look forward to looking forward.
I just wanted to say I'm happy for you.

Makes me wonder what my quote selection says about me. It is what the episode was about, so I didn't have a lot of super positive uplifting quotes to share. I just think words that come out as off hand dialogue in a show are actually the words thought out by writers (the one's on strike) so I try to pay a little more attention to them I think.

don't tell me your hopeless infatuation is devolving to pointless jealousy