Monday I was driving home from work and this silver celica quickly drove past me on the frontage road right before I entered the highway. I paid special attention to the car because it was similar to a red one that my friend Claudia had. Then as I was driving, not more than 2 minutes later, I noticed there was as lull in traffic and people were slowing down. I was confused and then noticed the same silver celica with its rear crashed into the median under the underpass. The driver was sitting in the front seat and just looked like a normal passenger. There was a strong smell of burnt rubber. It must of spun around and then hit the wall with the back of the car. There was a car in front parked and I noticed two cars in front of me pull over to the side of the road. Since I didn't see the accident, nor did I hear anything, I just kept driving. It wasn't until I passed that I realized that this accident must of just happened and that those people stopping were not stopping as witnesses, but instead to offer assistance. I felt guilty for not stopping and helping, since I know that people always assume other people will help and usually nobody helps. I also know that too many people stopping creates more risk for other drivers too, but that didn't play a role in my decision. So in the future I resolve to offer any assistance I can if I am first to the scene, even if there are other people stopped. If I'm not, well I'll just stay out of the way. I know I won't be able to save lives or anything, but I can dial a mean 911 and maybe even direct traffic.
I am a Firefly fan, yet I only joined the Browncoats once it came out on DVD. I like the movie Serenity, but that seemed to be the end of the series. Now I heard about Serenity 2 A New Hope? There is a "chance," may may maybe for a new movie. I would go and watch it.
Monday night football, Cowboys v. Bills, was a game I won't soon forget. The Cowboys kept messing up and Romo threw 5 interceptions (almost 6) and all I could think was that they didn't deserve to win. Then my fandom kicked in and I wanted them to win anyway. So they are down by 8 points and there are 2 mins left. The Cowboys drive down the field and score the possible game tying touchdown. Now they have to go for 2 to tie. Romo throws it high for Owens and despite the uncalled pass interference (my view since the defender wasn't looking for ball and made contact first) TO dropped the pass as he came down and the Cowboys were down by 2 with only 20 secs to go. Then there was the offsides kick, which never works, but this time the Cowboys fall on it after it got touched just outside the 10 yard distance mark. Now there is 18 seconds left to get in field goal range and no timeouts. Romo passes to TO in the middle of the field, it is ruled a completion and the Cowboys run up and spike it it with 1 second to go. Then the refs have an official review and rule that it was not completed. I could of sworn the ball was spiked before the review so I wondered about that. Now with 7 seconds to go they make a side line pass and get within a little over 50 yd field goal distance. The kicker's career long is 47. So the other coach pulls this shit where he calls timeout right before the snap and as it goes through the upright, I cheer just to find out it didn't count. So they do it again after the timeout and this time it also goes through and the Cowboys win. Oh what a game, an ugly game, but I'm glad they pulled it out. That was Marty with sports, now back to you Bob.
Daily Show - "Banned Aid" Bush Vetoes SCHIP. Health care program for low income children. Universal health care is going to be hard to get.
Tuesday I had lunch with Ericka at Panera. It has been a while since I have been there. I discovered Panera in DC and used to eat there a lot at my old job in Virginia. I tried to convince Ericka to get a new cell phone, but she is just too responsible with money. I love text messenging and her buttons don't work, so I think a new Pearl would be a great addition.
I'm not really good with dealing with anger. Maybe emotions in general are not great for me. I feel like I keep things inside too much and don't properly express my anger when I do feel it. Usually people who act this way end up over reacting to something or going from normal to really angry. I don't feel like that is how it manifests with me. What bothers me is that I don't like to be mean or hurtful to those I care about because I am not very thick skinned myself. When someone I care about is mean to me, or hurts me, it hurts much more than I rationally think it should. Every word is like a dagger that pierces me and makes me want to close off and not let people in. I've always had the view that I will only dish out what I could take, and hence I try not to dish out anger or hurtfulness as much. It is almost like an inverse do unto others type view. Well what I don't take into account is that some people have more power to hurt me than others, power I gave them, power they gain from how much I care about them. Others I could care less about and ignore most of what they tell or do to me. For example, if I was in a fight, I wouldn't kick to the groin, eye gouge or intentionally break any bones, mainly because I would hate for that to happen to me, but the second I saw them trying to do that to me, then I'd have to change into a no rules type approach. This is a fine social covenant with a stranger (ok no face punching non verbal agreement), but with a person you care about, if they resort to dirty tricks, well you can't respond in kind, your hands are tied because you actually care for them and just because they would hurt you doesn't mean you would hurt them. Am I just being a martyr here, should I just do what is best for me always and not take these thoughts into consideration.
So I finally got Koki and Mia (my cats) new cat collar charms with their names and my phone number. Each time I change my number I need to get them new charms. The reason it was important is that Mia is now an indoor/outdoor cat and I want to make sure if she gets lost that I'll be able to find her. I also need to get them some nice collars, but I'm waiting on that. Mia has full reign of the backyard right now and loves to be out there. I think she spends most of her night outside and a lot of the day there too. She seems to come inside only to eat and wake me up in the morning. I can tell you this, she is much happier with this set up. Koki on the other hand hasn't taken to be outside much. I throw her out to test her, but she just runs back in through her cat door. Maybe she sees it as Mia's area, but if Koki wants to stay inside I'm 100% ok with that. Mia is closed in with a fence, but I'm thinking it won't be long until she learns to get out,but I'll just have to trust that she comes back home.
Today I learned the word Spoonerism. (from Mark's blog.) I didn't know what it meant. Maybe it is a common word, so I went to wikipedia (the link the link) and checked it out. A spoonerism is a play on words in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched. It is named after the Reverend William Archibald Spooner (1844–1930), Warden of New College, Oxford, who was notoriously prone to this tendency. I love wikipedia. I still don't completely understand, but here is an example. " One of Metallica's live albums is called Cunning Stunts (1998), as is an earlier (1975) album by English band Caravan. This is also the name of a group of female stunt artists in the UK."
do I act the way I deserve to be treated?
Even if your friend is trying to hurt you really bad, you still may have a positive expected value of future rewards if the friendship is beneficial enough to you and there is a wide enough margin in the odds of the friendship continuing between your options of retaliating or not.
ReplyDeleteThink of it as implied pot odds. You are calling with a bad hand now based on what you think the other guy will do if it works out.
Isn't implied pot odds calculation the root of my problem? You take the punishment due to "positive expected value of future rewards if the friendship is beneficial enough" hopefully outweighing the current penalty (the negative treatment you are getting right now.) I think that might explain my reasons for not retaliating in kind, but what if I'm just terrible at figuring out implied pot odds? I mean, I over estimate the potential of future positive beneficial friendship and make my decisions based on that flawed overly nieve hopeful assumption. Unlike probability, past actions are sometimes related to future actions and the fact a person is acting in a negative way right now might also be an indicator of a lesser potentital benficial friendship in the future. If I weigh my implied odds on hopes then I can take a lot, but that isn't realistic. I guess I should just focus on getting better at evaluating the implied odds of the future friendship benefit to determine if they are being enough of a jerk.
ReplyDeleteby the way, that you tube video doesn't work anymore, it says it's unavailable when you click on it.
ReplyDeletethis is random but girls always say, when talking about boyfriends, if he acts like this now, how do you think he'll act when you're married? the idea of course being that the behavior will just get worse so you need to decide how bad it is (to determine whether it's time to end the relationship). we, girls that is, need relationships to work immediately, not in the future.
but then again, i know people who keep certain people around even if they don't really like them because of how these people might benefit or help them in the future.
ReplyDelete