Moving Stuff Around

"You're selfish and my son is giving and the combination isn't going to last much longer." - Grey's Anatomy

I have been very sick. I hate feeling this way. It started on Monday night, then I felt bad on Tuesday and by Wednesday I was a wreck. When I get sick, I tend to be sick for a very long time. This sickness lasted a good week and I was bed ridden for most of it. There is nothing more lonely than being home sick alone to make you feel alone in the larger sense of the word. I was once told that I get sick a lot, but I have been very proud of the fact that I haven't been sick in a very long time. But you can't fight it forever and here I am now. I have health insurance, but I won’t use it.

I finally took my cats to vet. This was a long time coming. I took them to Banfield, which I have to say I think very highly of. I didn’t know which vet to take them to last year, but now I felt safe taking them there. Koki and Mia were not happy to get into their carriers and get in the truck. Maybe it had a little to do with the fact that that last time that happened, they ended up in the car for over 24 hours. I was worried I would get yelled at by the vet for being the worst owner ever. I thought he would say, look, love doesn't keep your cats immunized from deadly diseases. Instead, they were not hard on me at all and just gave the cats the shots they needed and gave me advice on watching their health. Koki has plaque, so I have to start brushing her teeth. Are you serious? I don't know if I will actually do this, but I never saw myself brushing my cats teeth...there just seems to be a line where one goes from responsible owner to well brushing a cats teeth. The only thing about the trip I wasn't too happy with was the fact I have to take them both back in 3 weeks for a booster shot. I was hoping this would be a one time only thing. I am happy to know my cats are in ok health, but they still need to lose some weight. Can you believe that Mia weighs more than Koki? A funny moment was when I tried to pass on the rabies shot and the nurse told me that it wasn’t my choice and that it was required by law.
It is now official, I am now a Sprint customer and no longer with Cingular. Not only will I be saving all kinds of money now that I can talk to Erika for free at any time, there are also lots of other people I can talk to and not have to worry about counting my minutes. I should of done this a lot sooner since I’ve always had reason to change to Sprint, but recently I was able to get out of my Cingular contract and jumped on this chance to get out. I did go with the Treo and other than the fact that is much much bigger than my razr, I think I'm really starting to love it. It is a great toy and I'm learning to use it to watch tv and other random things you can do with it. It does feel comparatively heavy, but I think I will be ok with that.

The Red Sox are not in the playoffs. A few years ago, they became my favorite team and I even went to see them play here in Baltimore. This year the Yankees beat them yet again. I've learned to love to hate the Yankees since college. I'll be rooting against them, while Juan and Herbert are rooting for them. I hope this year's playoffs are exciting. I guess I was just a bandwagon fan and my love for the team ended when I was let down with their play. I’ve always been an Astro’s fan, but this year things didn’t work out either.

Poker talk: quickly, I won $500 in a $15 rebuy tournament. I was really proud of my play and though I did get lucky, it felt good to do well. I won a smaller $280 one too and lost two very close ones. They are a huge time suck, but I’m really enjoying these satellite type of tournament.

I got news from my Grandmother today that my grandfather was eating food now. That is really great news and a testament to her faith and belief that he would get better. She even called me later so we could talk. He asked me why I haven’t been to visit him, but I think that is because he can’t remember the last two times I was there.

Sleep can’t fix your problems

Red Lobster

“You fill my heart with gladness take away my sadness ease my troubles that’s what you do.” – Rod Stewart

This weekend my girlfriend Erika Silva came to visit me. It was great seeing her and though the time went by very fast, it was well worth it. She sprained her ankle recently, so her trip involved crutches, talk about a trooper. It meant a lot that she was still willing to come even though it meant a much harder trip. Her flight was delayed, but I was able to show up at the airport and meet her as she came out. It all worked out.

We did the normal stuff, going to the movies, watching TV, looking at antiques, going out to eat. Everything was really just an excuse to spend time with her. This was the first time we could just enjoy each other’s company without having to worry about external things going on and feeling on the go. It was a great trip and I’m happy I got to see her. We are still learning new things about each other and it sucks that she has to leave.

I now have my 32in lcd TV. It is an upgrade from the 26in that I had had. So far I love it, but I have a feeling that when using it as a computer monitor isn’t as clear as my 26in. I can’t tell if it is my eyes or that is too big and close. I had this feeling while I was waiting for it to arrive, that if I got my tv then I would be happy, all the world would be right. This is a recurring theme in my life, but somehow, it always turns out the same at the end. The magic doesn’t happen. Now, I of course know that something alone can’t make me happy, but its short term happiness always does feel great.

I made an appointment to take my cats to the vet. I picked a vet that operates out of Pet Smart because I had a very good experience with them in the past. I’m scared that I’m going to get scolded by the vet, but it always feels good to know your pets are healthy. This is the first day I have been free to do this in a very long time.

I finally did it, I changed my phone plan from Cingular to Sprint. I have been a loyal Cingular customer since I was in college, and I have no problems with their service. The reason I changed were two fold, one, everyone I know seems to have Sprint, including most of my family. Secondly, I found a great deal online that I’m sure Cingular would not be able to match. The problem I run into now is what phone to get. I currently have a razr and I think it is a great phone. Sprint have a black phone that is similar, but my brother has it and I have read reviews on it complaining about certain issues. So I don’t know which phone to pick and I have been doing research. Well I ordered a Samsung phone and then decided I didn’t want it and instead wanted to try the Fusic, but part of me wonders if I should get the Treo. Well the situation right now is to wait for the Samsung, test it for a few days, trade for the Fusic and if both make me unhappy, I’ll consider getting the Treo. I worry that the Treo is just too big, but I do love gadgets, so I don’t know if I’ll get over that and love it. I still need to cancel my Cingular account, transfer my number and sell my razr. 2 years is a long time and I am scared of this new commitment, but I think it is a good step.

My shows are starting up. We start Monday with Prison Break. Then as the week goes on, we have Smallville, Earl, Office, How I met your Mother, Lost, Grey’s Anatomy, Six Degrees (giving it a shot). This should provide a good distraction from school work and other things. I don’t think I could do it without our DVR.

distracted

Overtime

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world” - C.S. Lewis

I have updated my website as far as pictures go and my left side menu. I tried to upload and add the pictures I had on my computer, both older and new. I no longer have the patience to label each picture and now I just upload them on Yahoo Photos. I'm proud of my expanding menus, which wasn't very easy to do. I hope them make sense and are easy to use. I've also fixed my guestbook. I just got another free company and copy and pasted (with dates) all my old posts so that I wouldn't be starting over. The About Me section has also been changed. I hoping to change my blogger look somewhat, but I don’t know how to add some of my custom html to their new xml options. I’m really basic when it comes to maintaining a website, I’m sure it is clear considering most of my content is not from my site.

Things have been really busy. I have been working Thurs, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Monday and Wednesday I have class for 10 hours each day. I don't feel too tired since all the hard work and stress is on the lawyers, but it is amazing seeing how trial preparation works. I have been falling behind a bit in class, but that would probably be happening anyway. Monday I woke up early to help carry files to the courthouse, but I had class so I wasn’t able to watch or help.

I own a Dell 26in TV. I purchased it over 2 years ago and even though it is something I don’t need, it is one of my favorite possessions. The problem is that it always breaks. After a year past, I had to pay to get an extension of the warranty because I knew I would have to keep replacing it. It broke again. This is probably my 5th TV I’ve gone through, and in the past I have been offered another 26in TV that won’t break, but it only comes with one TV tuner and mine has two. This is a big deal to me, even if just in principal, but I have never owned a picture in picture tv and now that I have one, I don’t want to give it up. Today I called to process my exchange and threw out my idea that I get an upgrade to a 32in because changing to a 26in single tuner tv would be a downgrade. They finally accepted and I should be getting a 32 in TV soon. I’m really looking forward to that. I hope nothing goes wrong along the way. New toys are great and this reminds me of my financial situation which I need to figure out soon.

I don't go to church (much?). It seems very hypocritical because I consider myself to be somewhat spiritual and feel I have a good working relationship with God. I wonder if it is just laziness, which I know plays a role. I mean I can sleep or get up, get dressed and go to church. I could go later in the day when I'm awake, but same thing, I have to get dressed and go over. I think I know what also plays a role in my lack of attendance. I have trouble attending a lecture (Church is a type of lecture to me), where I know I'm not going to agree with 40% of what is said. It's the 60% I do agree with that makes me want to go, but that 40% that drives me crazy. (It could be 20% or less, just numbers for illustrative purposes). Unlike a lecture, I can't just take what I want and leave what I don't. At church it's all or nothing, or that is how they make it feel. I'm still a super sinner (cause we are all sinners they tell me) in their eyes, but then they are super sinners in other churches eyes (talking about you Baptists) because they all have such different rules (well spectrums of how serious they take their rules.) So I get frustrated and find most churches to be too judgmental, the messages preached with too much certainly. 'You don't know, I don't know and how can you say you know!' is all I think in my head. I think people want certainty and church offers them that, exact rules and explanations, when I can't accept that humans are capable of understanding something we can't fully understand. I do buy the rationale that some sort of organization is better than none and the teachings of the bible for the most part are very positive and honestly have probably very much shaped who I am as a person.

So back to the actual point I'm trying to make when I started. A person/church I really enjoy is Lakewood Church by Joel Osteen. (man I hope google doesn't catch this.) It is more than the fact I can watch from home, his messages are positive and more about improving yourself as a person than being guilty for having sex (seriously, that is all church seems to worry about, things concerned with sex). He is nothing like the hate I heard on the Christian station or generally the Right. But alas, he can't help but be part of the Right, I mean he is from Texas. So as the weeks go on and I have enjoyed his book, and his weekly sermons, then it starts up again -- things I don't agree with. He first makes an argument that we should respect our leaders’ decisions and not question them because God put them there for a reason. Oh how that pissed me off. He is alluding to Bush and claiming God wants him there and that we should support the needless killing of young men (and a dozen other pro-rich anti-middle class/poor policies.) He tried to sneak in some politics, tried to use God to justify what this devil is doing. That opened my eyes and made me a bit more critical from here on out. But, I forgave him for not knowing better and since everything else was great I continued to listen. Then Sunday, and this isn't a big deal, but was to me, he said that according to science and experts, a bubble bee should not be able to fly. A bubble bee flies because God wills it to fly. I knew in my gut he was totally wrong, but did not have proof off the top of my head. This is an argument for creationism (or anti-evolution) and it offends me that a person doesn't think God is amazing enough to create a system that creates life that can adapt and grow over time. I look up this factoid and find out that he of course was wrong. Here is a short explanation."The misunderstanding originally came from some work, by an aerodynamicist, that showed superficially that BUMBLE bees should not be able to fly. This work was later corrected when the interior musculature of the Bumble Bee was explained to the person concerned, but by this time the 'story' was well entrenched and nobody took any notice of the correction. This has been translated and misused by the media and has propagated the widely held belief. "

So I will forgive him for having a "widely held belief" and still respect the guy very much because I know he is actually probably a really good person despite the fact he is very rich. (Not that being rich doesn't make you a good person, but I don't usually trust people who get rich off spreading their word of God.) It all brings me back to why I feel I don't go to church as much as I should go. Here we have a church I actually like, a message I subscribe to, but yet it isn't that hard for it to upset me with disinformation. Imagine if I was at a church where they spoke words of hate and judgment, I'd go insane. Want to yell, no you are wrong, or at the least there is no way you can be that sure you are right. But they will claim faith my son, and how do you argue with that. I have faith, but not faith in things someone else told me.

Here is my football update. Notre Dame was fully of hype just like I was thinking. They lost badly this weekend and all the talk of them having a national title shot seems distant. Let’s see if they bounce back, but a lot of my favorites are now going down. Why do they have to play the games, why not just give the title to Texas again. Did you see how they crushed Rice…ok it was Rice.

You know where I haven't been in a long time, Baja Fresh. It was a place I had gone to a few times, but I started to really like it. It is a great alternative to Taco Bell and the lack of much good Mexican food in the area. It is a bit out of the way from my normal travels, but I do miss it a lot. Maybe I'll get to eat there soon.

I need to start looking for a job. That is a process I am not looking forward, but how nice would it be to not have to worry about where I’m going to work once the exam is over. If anyone has any leads, please let me know.

Looking forward to the weekend...for many reasons

A Good Month

"There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do." - Bill Watterson

Work is getting interesting. I worked Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It feels good to be needed and so far it hasn’t been too hard to keep up with. I do have a list of things I need to take of, but nothing too important that I can’t put off for a few weeks. I should be working a lot for the next two weeks.

I have been gambling too long with my health. Not only in my habits (and lack there of), but the fact I have gone over a year with no health insurance. $1,500 isn’t something I can easily part with, but I have been lucky this far and can’t justify having no safety net if I got really sick. So yesterday I purchased my school health insurance and am now covered. I don’t plan to go to the doctor, but it is nice to know that I can go. Speaking of, I should take my cats to the vet soon. Love alone won’t keep your animals healthy.

College Football (and NFL) has started. This is what I love the most about the fall. Texas lost to Ohio State this weekend which will make following them that much less exciting. I will nevertheless watch every UT game I can. I am also a ND fan thanks to Mark, so we will be keeping up on how they are doing. I’m not doing fantasy football this year, but that is probably a good thing.

My upstairs and downstairs neighbors have both moved out. We got a new neighbor upstairs, but I have yet to meet him. Downstairs was flooded, so I think it will be sometime before it is ready to rent out again. I should be living at my same place for at least another year. Right now I don't have cable tv or internet and though we are getting it soon, it is very very hard. You would think I would get more work done, but I still have DVDs and sleep is free.

My guestbook hasn’t been working for at least a year. I am hoping to get it or one up running in the near future. My webpage is starting to serve its procrastination use that created it. I find it interesting how my webpage was a precursor to the function that myspace now plays. It was to share my pictures at first and then later to start blogging. I was ahead of the curve I guess, but I don’t know if this is something I should be proud of. Let’s hope updates are coming soon.

Relationships play an important role in life and I feel have shaped my life and who I am quite a bit. I’ve also been in enough relationships to not only make the same mistakes, but come up with a whole list of new ones. I have always felt I didn’t fully know what I was looking for until I found it, but I worry that my compulsion to always want more will make things harder. Right now, I am very lucky, I met a girl who not only is everything I’m looking for, she is more than just a collection of qualities I find important, but also someone who is unique, interesting and someone there is still a lot to learn about. I enjoy this part of the relationship. I won’t list all the reasons I think she is great, but I hope she knows them. I am dealing with a situation that I’ve always disliked, distance. There is nothing I can say on that topic that hasn’t been said on either side of the issue, but distance with an end in sight is actually not as bad as distance for an unspecified amount of time. I hope to approach each day on its own merits and wait until much time has passed before I can start to see how the bigger picture is coming together.

my memories are always better than what happened

Coach

"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends." - John Churton Collins

Friday was a good day of work. Things are getting exciting and trial is soon approaching. I’ve never gone through this before, so I’m really looking forward to the experience. So far balancing school and work hasn't been as hard as I imagined.

Friday, a hurricane had hit North Carolina and the rain was working its way up through Virginia. My boss let me out of work early so that I could catch the bus to NYC. Erika and her mom were coming to drop Lana off for her internship in the city. I figured it would be a great time to see my friends and enjoy my vacation. Plus, I'm going to jump at every chance I get to see my Erika Silva.

I don’t want to talk about the bus ride, just know it was very long and I got in many many hours after I had planned. Juan, Jorge and Michele all met me outside of Port Authority. That was really great of them and it meant a lot to me. They are always there for me and are such great hosts when I am in town. They brought me leftovers from dinner and I ate on a pillar standing up while we all caught up and figured out the plans for the night.

Erika was watching the Phantom with her sister and mom so we worked our way outside to the theater and waited for them to exit. Erika got to meet my friends and we all walked in the rain to their hotel. Erika and Lana then came out with us for the night.

We started off at this small bar where the beer was cheap. 2 dollars a beer in NYC, it was a deal. As we were drinking, Herbert showed up. This was unexpected because I thought he was going to be working late. We were finally all back together and it felt just like old times. We shared stories, talked a lot of crap and drank. It is great to make new memories.

This was also the first time I had ever hung out with Lana, so it was nice getting to know her. She seemed to get along with everyone, and you can usually tell when people are comfortable enough to already be making fun of you and joking around. My friends seemed to take well to her. Erika showed the table a shot glass trick and we got to take some pictures. At the end of the night, we passed up some late night pizza and went back to the hotel.

The following morning, Erika, her mom, Lana and I had lunch nearby the hotel. Nothing tastes better than lunch after a long night of drinking. Maybe the water was the best part. Then we were off to help move Lana in. We got to the dorm and helped Lana unpack. I tried to do my part by stealing stuff from other rooms (furniture) where people hadn’t moved in yet so that she would have somewhere to put her stuff. The room she is staying in is really small. I have stayed in rooms that small before, but I’m glad that part of my life is over with. Girls pack a lot of stuff.

Once we were done, we went down to the WTC area and went shoe shopping. I'm a good boyfriend. The store we were in was really packed. I definitely felt some costraphobia and social anxiety disorder while I was there. Erika and her mom got some shoes and then we went back to the hotel and relaxed for a while. The whole time it was raining out.

We then took a cab to Herbert’s family restaurant. I try to go every time I’m in the city. Little did I know this would be the beginning of a long and fun night. We got there around 7pm and started drinking and looking over the menu. I usually order the same thing whenever I eat out, but this time I decided to try something different. I tried this green mole and pork dish and I have to say, I was very impressed. I didn’t think I would like it, but it was very good. It was very hot though, but I couldn’t stop eating it. The funny thing was that it was the mild one, so my version of hot must not be at the level of Herbert’s, so this was a lesson learned. We tried all kinds of drinks. Jorge, Michele, Juan and some of Jorge’s friends joined up and later Juan’s sister and Herbert’s cousin Leo came by as well. It was a great meal and everyone had a good time. From there we went out. Erika’s mom came a long with us and was really a sport. The first place we went was ok, very nice, but the setup wasn’t conducive to a group as large as ours. We drank and talked, but as it got late, Jorge and Michele called it a night and Herbert offered to take us to another place. We went, but when we got there, they wouldn’t let some of the group in because of dress code (shoes), so we decided to call it a night. Well by we, I mean I. But, after much pressure, we decided to try one more bar. So we randomly find this place where Herbert heard music and we all go in. Little did we know then, we were in a Hooka bar. I have been invited many times, but its just not my thing. Well somehow this is where the night really got started. We got seated in the VIP, there was shots, drinking, dancing and we all had a very good time. It was almost 4am by the time we got out of there. The night was very memorable.

The following morning, Erika, her mom and I went to Chinatown and had lunch. I ordered way too much food. Then it was time to go purse shopping. You would think shoe shopping and now purse shopping, but the experience was actually very interesting and fun. Erika has places she had gone before, so we find the vender that asks us if we want handbags and then they take us to a place where there is a secret door behind the wall. It was very cool, the door was impossible to notice and very high tech. Then we are in a room full of designer purses (well knockoff designer purses). They had orders for friends to fill, but while we are there and I see people wheeling and dealing, I get the idea to get my sister a purse. Well that is where it all started. First I get both my sisters Coach wallets. Then at another place, I get them both purses (Coach and Christian Dior) and later I decide if my sisters are getting ones then my mom needs one too, so I get her a Coach bag and finally get a small Prada bag for my niece. I was able to use my negotiation skills and got some decent prices (compared against what I saw others getting and prices from other places). Nevertheless, I ended up spending a few hundred dollars on purses, me. Maybe I just like to buy things, who knows, really I had no clue what to buy, so Erika and her mom helped out a lot. My family very much enjoyed their gifts and since I missed their bdays (gift wise), I felt better.

Unbeknownst to me, a week ago, my mother had a dream that I bought her a purse. There was more to it than that, but it was really random and never had I ever bought her something like that, but it ended up coming true. I just found out about the dream recently.

After all that, we went back to the Hotel. I said another farewell to Erika and took a cab to the bus station to start coming home. Another not so pleasant experience, but for 20 bucks it's still a deal. Once I was home, I had to wait a very long time for a cab. I finally got one and was happy to be on my way home.

That was my labor day weekend in New York City. I didn’t get much homework done.

So in other news, my instate domicile appeal was approved. I am very excited about this. This means I am a Virginia Resident and can get VA instate rates. This is a savings for this year of around $10,000. I had to do a lot of paperwork. Unfortunately, it is just 10 grand I don’t have to pay back, so I won’t really feel it until I’m much older and am done paying off student loans. I’ll be thinking, wow, at least I don’t have 10 grand more of that.

Here is another issue that comes to mind a lot. I’m getting fat and it driving me crazy, no seriously insane. I know what to do etc, but the problem keeps getting worse. It is totally mental, but for some reason I'm being subborn and paying the price. It sucks every time you are called on it. In NYC I got a lot of comments, from Big Man, to are you working out, you look much bigger. I just want to say fuck you, but I know they are right. I feel like I’m doing this to myself on purpose, but I don’t know why. Maybe its that I know it’s a long term battle and I just don’t want to start. For me the issue is a personal one and one that I need to deal with. I don’t want to do it for anyone but myself. No one is pressuring me, so I can’t say that is the reason. Hopefully soon this problem will get on the right track. It really affects your attitude and how you feel about yourself. How you feel about yourself affects how you treat other people. Its all a downward spiral to nothing positive.

I ran across this online today. It brought back some memories. - What does Pollyanna mean?

Pol·ly·an·na [ pòllee ánnə ] (plural Pol·ly·an·nas)
noun

Definition:

eternal optimist: an unrealistically optimistic person
[Early 20th century. After the heroine of children's stories written by Eleanor Hodgman Porter (1868-1920), U.S. author]

A happy 3rd