Shepherds

The highest compact we can make with our fellow is - "Let there be truth between us two forevermore." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Superbowl. I just had to say it. It is on my mind. There isn't a bigger day in sports when you think about it right? I mean as far as I go at least. I love football above all sports and NFL is the highest form. The most important game is the Superbowl, hence this should be a big moment for me. Yet, it always feels like such a let down. Maybe it has to do with none of my favorite teams playing or the fact that it also means the end of the season. I don't know, I'll be watching. Maybe the commercials will be interesting.

Today I got my income tax refund. This is the last I will complain about it. It was so very small, but it is more money than I had yesterday. I should be sending it over to my student loans, but I want to hold it for a bit. Oh and I have a bill to Kays I should get working on as well.

There were two things I thought were super cool when I was a child. The first was that TV chair they had at the airport. You would put a quarter in and you would watch fuzzy black and white TV from your chair for 5-10 mins. Of course you had a real color television set at home you could watch for hours, but the idea of watching it there for a quarter, who cares if it was just soaps and news, was awesome. I would beg for a quarter each time we went to the airport to pick up my Dad returning from his National Guard service.

Then there was the pocket black and white TV I would see at the stores. It had an antenna and you could watch TV anywhere you could carry it. I vowed to buy one for myself once I was an adult and wasn't limited by parents who didn't understand how useful it would be to be able to watch TV from anywhere. I didn't have much experience with those handheld TVs so in my mind they were so awesome, yet I'm sure they rarely got good reception. Oh and a TV watch/phone was something I wanted as soon as the future spy gadgets would start to come out.

It is funny, now I can watch TV in HD on a 46' flatscreen, on my computer, and even on my phone (though I have had to take a break since getting an iphone). I couldn't imagine putting a quarter into one of the machines at the airport. I'm so lying, I would totally put a quarter in and watch that black and white local on air TV anyway. I still love gadgets.

Shopaholism: America's Newest Addiction? At least for now, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders -- which is known as the D.S.M. and is something like the bible of psychological maladies -- does not list the condition as a technical disease. While shopaholism, as the laymen say, has been recognized by the German psychiatric community as a subset of obsessive-compulsive disorder, it still awaits its day in the United States.

I had mentioned how there was this touchscreen hp laptop I had really wanted to buy. I figure after reading this, I'll share more. Completely contrary to this want, I also want a Macbook. Now I know I can only have one laptop, so I have to pick. The main thing from keeping me from getting a Mac is how well I know PCs. I now understand why old people who don't get computers shy away from them. Am I too old to learn a new way of doing thing. I know it is easy and better, but, well...no harm wanting right.

Will Texting Be Our Lexical Undoing?
The truth? Even though the increasing popularity of text-messaging since 2001 has spawned frequent, doomy pronouncements about illiterate teens, desecrated language, overused abbreviations, and crumbling civilization, there's no evidence at all to back up these the-end-is-near-ish views about texting. When you look at the facts, they often say something positive about texting: that frequent texters actually do better in school, or that texting is associated with good things like creativity and political activism. Also, some of the supposedly text-specific features--like abbreviations--are older than dirt and not even that common in texting.

Keep going kids, we need more texting if we want to compete globally.

I have a lot of thoughts on religion and the way I was taught a lot of it. A lot of my problems do not lie in my faith, but in people and the inconsistencies that come out of their mouth when talking about faith. When I was very little I learned two basic prayers that I said constantly, Our Father and The Lord is my Shepherd. The first one is pretty standard, the second, I learned in a different way than laid out in the Bible. It was a scaled down version of the prayer, probably for kids, same points, but a few edits, omissions or maybe even just stylistic changes. At the time I was still in the mindset that the Bible was the final word of God and should be taken literally (no I wasn't a Baptist and I was at an age were Santa was someone I waited for). This of course was long before I learned there were multiple translations of the Bible or its history. So one day I'm at church and I hear The Lord is my Shepherd prayer. I'll include it below: [This might not be the correct version, but it is close enough.]

The Lord's Prayer
The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want

He maketh me to lie down in green pasture,
He leadeth me beside still waters, he restoreth my soul.
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his namesake
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I fear no evil, for thou art with me.
Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies.
Thou anointest my head with oil, my cup runneth over
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
Psalms 23

As I tried to follow along, I found parts that were different from what I had learned and repeated like a student writing lines on a chalkboard. The rhythm I had learned it in was thrown completely off. Words like "maketh", "leadeth," "beside still waters," "mine," "namesake" were all different to me. Small insignificant changes in hindsight, but at the time it was the realization that someone was wrong here and it was probably the way I knew it. I was told that there were different ways to say prayers. I don't know why, but my trust felt betrayed. I was taught something wrong and maybe I just liked being right. I quickly looked up the Our Father Prayer to make sure I had it right and stopped saying Psalm 23 from that point on. Little did I know as a child that such a small difference would be nothing compared to what I would come to learn, but it gave me an reason to question the unquestionable. Silly how my brain worked I think. Funny how I focused on the ritual and the words and not the actual meaning of the words. I knew what they meant, but is a child really going to understand the full meaning of "Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies." The moral of the story, I had a short period of "childlike faith."

This entry needed more pictures and videos. I'm real bad about that. So I'll just add this.

conditions

Hospital Table

"I have made this letter longer than usual, because I lack the time to make it short (Je n'ai fait celle-ci plus longue parceque je n'ai pas eu le loisir de la faire plus courte)" -Blaise Pascal, Lettres Provinciales (1656-1657), no. 16.

I don't know why, but I really want this laptop: HP TouchSmart tx2z series . I know I don't have a grand to be spending on a laptop, nor the credit from HP for one, but it doesn't change the fact that I want it. Maybe it would be nice to rent one for a day to see if I would really like it. The reason I want it is that it has a touchscreen. I don't know how often I would use it, but it just seems like something nice I could use to play poker while watching TV. I probably should think of more uses for the touchscreen though.

Yesterday I got my new Pearls Before Swine book. Sgt. Piggy's Lonely Hearts Club Comic: A Pearls Before Swine Treasury. It is pretty much the first two books in one with commentary from the writer/artist. I wish all comic collections had this. It will never replace Pooch Cafe, but it is still a great comic. I stayed up late reading it last night and am almost done.


My brother had an interview for a legal assistant job the other day. I really hope he gets it since I think it is something he would do really well at. I'm sure it will be some time before we find out. I'll keep my fingers crossed. This economy sucks, I think I am very lucky to have a job right now.

I get these ideas in my head. My latest is that I want a hospital bed table. Now I know what you must be thinking, this lazy guy, he just never wants to get out of bed. I think Abram told me that I should get an IV bag as well. But the truth is that I think it could be useful in many different ways. How exactly I'm not sure, but I have a feeling that once I have it I'll figure it out. It is used and really cheap, so I figured the idea was worth. One thing I will say is that I don't plan on using it on my bed (well not so far at least). I couldn't find one anywhere, but got lucky enough to find one on craigslist. I heard that they might have them at walmart, but when I last checked I didn't see anything. I wonder what they are officially called.

Lesley Stahl Interviews Rachel Maddow: I know I talk about Rachel Maddow often and how I catch both her air america show and her msnbc show daily, but this interview of her gives you a great understanding of what she is all about.

In other news I'm listening to CNN this morning and they are talking bout dressing up during a recession. Here is their big plan so you can save money. Go to Walmart or Target? No, instead of going out and spending $16,000 on a new dress, you can "RENT" one for only $1,000 for the night. What a deal? What type of middle class person can afford to buy a dress for $16,000, much the less rent one for $1,000. How about take those $1,000 and go the gap and buy an entire wardrobe or clothe your kids. If this is what it means to be in a recession, I think that CNN just doesn't get it.

peta too sexy for nbc superbowl

So I read about this article, but didn't know the video was out. I watched it and found it disturbing, almost like a weird niche type of porn. It does not make me want to eat vegetables at all. The PETA Files: nakedArchives - they seem to be more about getting naked nowadays than animals, well at least that is when I notice, which I know it the point. I had fish today fyi, am I good?

KITTY CAM VIDEO (Watch It Here)
I found this on the Huffington Post today. I think it is the same thing as this next link.
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/kitty-cam-2 - Kittens.

enough

Fogginess

"I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't." -Mark Twain

Good Morning. This morning on the way to work it was very foggy on the road as rain continued to come down. I was also very lost in my thoughts as I was driving, as if in my own personal fog. At one point, I wake up and notice that I have completely driven past work for a few miles and had to make a uturn and double back. I hope to get out of this daze. I can't wait for better weather, but it doesn't look like it is coming.

Today is the Chinese New Year. The year of the Ox I am told. I don't know much about his and even a quick look at Chinese New Year on wikipedia didn't help too much. There are a lot of good luck and bad luck things you can do today. I don't think I'm off to a good start. Nevertheless, Happy New Year Everyone!

How Your Birth Order Shapes Your Personality
"Are you a very neat person? Do you try to color coordinate your clothes? Love making lists? There's a good chance you're first born in your family birth order."

Ana anyone? ("First-borns often have to grow up fast and become "little adults" before they're ready. If the first is a female, she may be another "mother" to her siblings.") I'm told that I'm a first born since I was born much after my sister Vero. Does this fit me?

"If You're the First Born ...The first-borns often are high achievers and are very conscientious, reliable, and loyal. They're also scholarly (not all the time, though) and feel better being in control of a situation."

I'm sure it is like a horoscope right, you want it to fit you because they are positive qualities and truisms. I wish they would highlight the negative as well.

I watched the pilot for the new show Lie to Me. It seems very interesting. I hope to see a few more episodes before I decide if I'm going to add it to my DVR list. Right now I'm just adding it week by week. I like the idea of the show. I did notice in this aerial shot of DC, the footage is dated and the WWII memorial is not yet built in the shot. It is at the beginning. That is the kind of thing I notice. It is neat that a lot of things I have learned from poker books is discussed on the show. And then studies like this come out: Lying Takes Longer Than Telling The Truth


I had been planning to see Underworld this weekend, but I decided to wait. Instead I watched Eagle Eye and W. I had planned to see W. some time ago, but I knew I wouldn't be able to watch it until the Bush administration was over. I know that its effects on the country are not over, but it did make watching much easier. I thought it was a good movie, but nothing I'd rush out and see. Still on my list are Doubt, The Reader and a few others.

I had about 9 episodes of Prison Break taking up space on my DVR. I finally got to the last episode and then found out the series was getting cancelled. I think there are 6 of so episodes left coming in April and then it is over. This is one of the few times I have been ok with one of the shows I watched being canceled. I mean, the show was limited by the very same name that made it interesting. He broke out twice from prison, it was more than enough.

It is getting close to the time when I have to decide if I'm going to renew my lease at my current place. I have been many different ways on this and whenever I think I know what I'm going to do, things change again. Right now it is still unclear, but I think my only real choice is to renew it and see how things play out. I'm sure things will start to make more sense soon. A condo in the city is an option, but I really have to look at costs. Moving is always so complicated, but in this case not moving is complicated as well.


I was reading a book about how you can't "think yourself out of your problems," partially because those very problems exist because of your thinking. What you do is close off and try to think of a solution instead of just living. It is the proverbial fighting in the quicksand and going deeper and deeper. I should probably keep reading this book. That is something I feel pretty guilty of. I'll stop all action until I can find a solution. My procrastination was always like that. Until I figured out that perfect study schedule or set up, well I wouldn't study.


I was watching a movie this weekend and a character talked about being a romantic and how he fell in love with his wife when he met her and asked her to marry him like 5 days later. It really got me thinking. I always thought, you meet a girl, you date for a few years, in that time you know if you both want to get married, and then you move on with the next step in life. Yet when I look at it play out, maybe it is the not choosing to get married during that time that is the problem. I mean, in my experience there are always problems that aren't easily resolved that lead to strife and then to a parting of ways after months or years of dating. But this very same person, this person who you didn't think was ready to commit for years, turns around and meets someone new and in less than a year they are getting married and have found the true love of their life. You are happy for them, accept it wasn't you, but never did it make me wonder, was it the fact that I was the wrong person that led to the long relationship that faded away. If they were capable of feeling that way for a person, then it must of not been them, it must of been you. I mean, my biggest fear is that I meet a person, fall in love, get married quickly and in what would be year 4 of the relationship, but is instead year 3 of the marriage those very same issues that would make up part ways in a relationship will now lead to a divorce, this time with much greater consequences. So the thought that if you are just as happy/in love in 4 years (not a literal number of course but an example), then you will know you want to get married because the other person truly is for you and it isn't the newness or the honeymoon, but the person. Maybe this way of thinking is totally off, I mean hell it hasn't served me well in life. (or has it?) I once had a friend many years ago tell me that if two people really love each other, then there is no need to rush into marriage because there is no fear that by not doing it now they risk losing their chance of being with that person. I silently vowed to myself to remember that. Others say, why wait if you know they are the one. I also tried to remember that thing you learn from movies, that people tend to try to deal with problems in relationships by having a child (or another child), or huge decisions like that. I'm really thinking this overly cautious defensive mindset has flaws that I just can't comprehend. Everyone wants the unrealistic, the perfect person that they have complete trust in, yet what is wrong with being with a person that at least tries to be the person they want.

I'm off to Lunch.

brighten up a dark day

Still Lost

"The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." - Allan K. Chalmers

I watched way too much inauguration coverage on Tuesday. From the swearing in, to the parade and even the balls. I don't know how Obama was able to attend them all, it was a lot of dances. I wonder how much they enjoyed themselves. Everyone else seemed to be having a grand old time.

BREAKING! The Obamas' first night in the White House:

"What a day!"
"Phew, yeah...what a day!"
"I'm exhausted. Could you get the light, Barack?"
"Yes I can! I will not only get the light, I will shine the light for all Americans and show them the way through the darkness! It is a light that arises from the hopes and dreams of the old and the young, the black and white and yellow and red and brown, the gay and the straight, the rich and the poor! It is a light on whose rays the promise of hope...and opportunity...and achievement...all soar to a distant, brighter future! But it will take all of us, working together in a spirit of shared sacrifice and commitment, to make that light a beacon of progress. And I say to you tonight: This is our moment! This is our bedtime! This..."
"Oh fer god's sake never mind, I'll do it myself..."
[Click!]

The Oscar nominees are out for Best Picture. Nominees: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, The Reader, Slumdog Millionaire.

I'm going with Slumdog Millionaire, (I know, how original) but I still have to see Frost/Nixon and the Reader.

I missed Lost on Wednesday. Long story short, I fell asleep when I got home and didn't wake up until 1am. I did get to watch it on Thursday (I love my TiVo) though. After all this time, and never missing an episode, I still feel very lost. Yet I still watch. It feels like just yesterday I was watching season 1 on DVD. I remember losing lost of sleep trying to get them all in.

Our firm had two oral arguments on Friday. I think they went really well. I won't get into all the details, but it is days like today that make me happy that I decided to be lawyer. This is what I was born to do.

I had plans to go home to the Valley this weekend, but things didn't work out. Maybe another time.

Here is a fact that I didn't know:

Bill Frist disclosed that he went to animal shelters and pretended to adopt the cats, telling shelter personnel he intended to keep them as pets. Instead he used them to sharpen his surgical skills, killing them in the process.

never be the same

A New Hope

"We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope. But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope." - Barack Obama


The day is here. The hours have ticked down on the Bush regime and a new hope has been brought to this country. Barack H. Obama has been sworn in as the 44th President of the United States. I know that things will not magically get better now that we have an intelligent, competent, and thoughtful President who puts the American people first. But what I do know is that we are a step closer to making things better and now have a system that can make that happen. On the 21st my student loan bills will be just as high, my healthcare just as inadequate and my savings just as barren, but this new era of personal responsibility and functional government makes me hope that things will get better for everyone.

I watched online from my slingplayer, slinging MSNBC to my computer at work. I did set it to TiVo to watch later as well. There were so many people, it looked so many amazing. All those people in the freezing cold there to witness history. I read that it was the estimated 2 million.

The bible that Biden was sworn in was so huge. Did anyone else notice that? I recall that it was a family bible I think. When Obama came up I was so happy and nervous too. I thought it was a nice touch that he seemed nervous and stumbled on the oath a bit. He was then the President of the United States of America. (Actually officially at 12pm EST since the oath is ceremonial.) (Note: It has been pointed out that it was Chief Justice Roberts who screwed up the oath, not Obama. As one random internet person put it, "Roberts winging it without notes so represents the bush failed presidency. Improvised and botched. ")

I enjoyed his speech. Obama Inauguration Speech: FULL TEXT
I appreciated that he made the point that the challenges will not be met easily. It was very sobering and his message to the world was very powerful. There were many great lines, here are a few that I caught:
"As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals.."
"We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished."
"What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them."


You have to check this out: http://www.whitehouse.gov/ Looks so very good.

Check out these images of webpages today: and so it is done .

Here is the video on YouTube.

goodbye

The Final Day

"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation." -Saki

Today is MLK day, but I don't have the day off. I shouldn't complain considering I took a sick day on Friday (a real one). A lot people think today is his birthday, but it is on January 15th, we just celebrate it today. The weekend is over and it wasn't a good one. Other than the whole being at home sick thing, it was just a less than stellar weekend. I was able to wake up in time to get McDonalds breakfast on Saturday, a feat that has been eluding me for what feels like months. That was sadly the highlight.

On Bush's regrets during his term, I think it was put best by :Matthews: Bush is like the cop who shoots an unarmed man and regrets he didn't have a gun

Matthews: I found it interesting that the president, who admitted he was wrong about WMDs as a justification for war, called it a "disappointment." If a police officer in the line of duty in the middle of the night shoots a fellow because he thinks he's got a gun, it turns out he's got a wallet, your reaction if you're a police officer is not that you're disappointed he didn't have a gun, it's shame that even if it was a technical mistake that you've made, that you've killed a guy without reason. Why does the president use the word "disappointment" when he says they didn't have the WMD to justify us going in? I think it's an odd use of the word.

The inauguration of Obama is a day away and that makes today Bush's last full day in office. Oh how long I have waited for this day. Ever since I heard Gore concede in December 2001 while I was in my truck outside of Taco Bell in Ithaca, NY. That was the day I became a Democrat. I thought I was a Republican just a few weeks before that, but the election and how it was handled really changed how I saw everything. It is true I voted for Nader in that election, but at the time it was a misinformed vote against Gore. I watched a lot of coverage of Obama over the weekend including the train stops on the way to DC. Part of me wishes I had made the trip back to DC, but I'm no good in crowds, especially those that may be as big as 2 million. The memory of DC is fading though.

"A Farewell to Republicans"

But one of the most eerily consonant assessments was actually published more than three-quarters of a century ago, by The Nation, in an editorial goodbye to Herbert Hoover and the GOP ascendancy he represented, entitled "A Farewell to Republicans" (republished this week). Here is one very pertinent excerpt:

[W]e are taking leave not merely of a single Administration. For twelve years the Republican Party has been in power. During ten of those years it controlled the executive and legislative branches of the government. When, a few years hence, an attempt is made to minimize the disaster of this last quadrennium, and to point to a preceding eight year period of material development and growth, let it be noted that in a purely material sense the American people are much worse off today than they were twelve years ago. Far more than was gained has been swept away. Savings have been dissipated, lives have been blasted, families disintegrated. Misery and insecurity exist to a degree unprecedented in our national life. And spiritually the American people have been debauched by the materialism which made dollar-chasing the accepted way of life and accumulation of riches the goal of earthly existence.

I have filed my federal income taxes. I paid a lot of them this year and I'm hardly getting anything back. I couldn't even deduct all the interest I paid to student loans, which was a lot. The feeling sucks and it makes me understand why people who think Republican's will lower taxes are easily tricked. What brings me peace is the knowing that we might actually have a functioning government that my taxes will be able to help. Maybe they will go to help build a bridge or fix the roads, maybe even schools. Either way, I have nothing to complain about.

Circuit City is going out of business. I went during my lunch break today to see if I could find any deals. There was nothing I really needed and the deals were not too impressive. I mean 10% off a product that is 20% more expensive than buying on the internet isn't too great of a deal. 8% you lose to taxes off the bat. I really wanted a digital camera, but the one I wanted was sold out. The other I could get online for the same price sans taxes. I'd say I'll miss you CC, but I hardly knew you.

One of the things I did do this weekend was watch the NFC and AFC championships. So Arizona is going to play Pittsburgh in the Superbowl. Doesn't sound too exciting huh? It is the Superbowl, so it doesn't matter who is playing really. They both earned their way there. I think Arizona is going to be the underdog, so I'm going to be cheering for them.

it's so easy

The Other Side

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened." -Winston Churchill

I'm very much looking forward to the inauguration. I'll probably have to watch from work, but wish I had the day off. I'm sure there will be a lot to see and I'll be tired of it all after the day is out. Either way, I'm very excited for January 20th.



Thursday I was starting to feel really sick. To the point where I had to leave work early to go home. I don't know what it is, but it doesn't feel too great. Friday I called in sick and spent most of the day in bed. I had plans to go down to the island for the weekend, but that was interrupted by my sickness. It got in the way of a lot of things to say the least. After a day in bed and lots of nyquil, I'm starting to feel a little better, but new symptoms seem to keep popping up. There is nothing worse than being in pain and not having any sympathy or even empathy. It is just you and the sickness. What a waste of a 3 day weekend.


I saw Gran Torino like I was planning. I thought it was a good movie, only after you get over the dialogue of the racist character. I still don't think any life experience gives you the right to be racist, but the other parts of the film really make it worth watching. The other movie I saw was the Wrestler. I thought it was a good movie and the best actor award was well given, but I feel like a lot of the message went over my head.


Here is a interesting take:
Vagabond Scholar: If BUSHCO were a football team, they'd be the 0-16 Detroit Lions, but would insist they'd actually won every game - except for a couple losses - which weren't their fault. [from Mike's Blog Roundup ]



Where am I going to be 6 months from now? a year from now? It is interesting how one day you have one idea and another day a completely different one. I don't really know, but I do know that with whatever comes, I need to be looking at 5 years from now and stop living this hand to mouth routine. I don't want years to pass where I'm getting by, but not really living. How this is done, well I still haven't figured it out yet.

while you are down

I Don't Know

“Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.” - Sara Paddison

Texas won the Fiesta Bowl! It was a fun one. Abram had a small gathering for the game at our place. It turned out to be a fun time and the Texas come back made it all that much better. We even played some rockband afterwards. Later in the week Florida won the National Championship.

This weekend SNL hosted by NPH from How I Met Your Mother had some great moments including the opening. Check out the video. Saturday Night Live: Rachel Maddow Interviews Burris And Blagojevich (VIDEO) The Doogie Howser digital short was pretty impressive as well.




`Slumdog Millionaire' wins 4 at Golden Globes
I wonder how it will do at the Oscars. I still need to see the Wrestler. I did get to see Che Part One. I wish I knew more of the politics and history. I thought it was a good movie and can't wait to see Part Two/the rest of the movie. What I do know is that he was around 29 years old when he helped lead the revolution in Cuba. Makes me wonder if I would have that in me. I also need to see Frost/Nixon, but I keep putting it off because I don't know if it is going to be enjoyable.

The Science Behind True Love - SCIENTISTS have discovered true love. Brain scans have proved that a small number of couples can respond with as much passion after 20 years as most people exhibit only in the first flush of love.
I have always thought that fairness was a big deal, but how can I think that when I'm not always fair to myself. I accept things from myself that I wouldn't respect another person a person for.

Friday night Erika played poker with family and friends and did amazing. She outlasted the whole field to come out on top. She was very happy with her win and I was happy for her. I then went to play poker with Rino on Saturday night. It was Mike's 30th birthday and everyone got him some pretty funny gag gifts. I'm real bad at seeing the difference between gag and mean spirited, but the gifts he got were clearly gag. The guy who runs the poker clock wasn't there so I downloaded a program and set up a clock for the game. I went in with the usual expectation to try my best, but knowing that to win I would have to get lucky. We broke up into two tables. I had a slow go of it. I was medium stacked for the first hour and didn't win any big hands, but didn't lose any big ones either. Then a guy at our table got huge and that made it more difficult. I hate it when people say they didn't get any hands all night because you don't always need hands to hang around and people easily forget the hands they did get. Once we were down to one table I was fairly short stacked. I was sure I would go out 6th or 7th. I switched over into push fold mode and was able to make it to the final four, still the smallest stack at the table. Finally I moved into the top 3 and at the last minute I was able to steal some huge blinds a few times and then double up to get a good stack size. By the time I got heads up I had a dominate chip advantage. I ended up winning 1st place and took home $120, $20 less than we had set up for first because I cut a deal to increase 2nd place. The guy I played against is very good and has won almost every time. Even with a 2 to 1 chip advantage, I wanted some insurance. It felt good to win, but Rino and Jess had to stay there very very late which I felt bad for. The last time I played poker was at Mike's place.


I have a Harmony One remote I programed for my TV, TiVo and DVD player. So far I like it a lot. I feel like there is still a lot more that I can do with it, but just don't know yet. I like that it lights up in the dark.
Smart Men Have Better Sperm: Study I'm just saying. Yet smarter men seem to have less kids. Hummm.

This reminds me of lessons I got growing up. (the monkey part)

why do I

Equivocation or False Promise? New Year's Resolutions

“I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.” - Pietro Aretino

I'm back to work today after a Christmas break that went much faster than I had imagined it would. The morning was cold and the the drive to work was quiet and wet. I gave up my entire 2009 vacation days for this break. I really got to work something out for unpaid vacation going forward. The rest of my life starts again today, or so is the mantra each new year.


So here is an overview of my break. First off, I don't have a digital camera right now, so I don't have pictures to post. I didn't take any but I collected some from other people's cameras like I did for thanksgiving. Unfortunately, I left them on my mother's computer, so it will be some time before I upload them. I really wish I took more pictures.



I drove down to the Valley on the 23rd and when I arrived, Erika was feeling sick from a happy hour in Mexico. It was still nice to see her since it had been some time. The next day, on Christmas eve, I visited my family and later went with Erika and her family to mass and a gathering afterwards. We ate tamales and turkey. That day I had found out that a gift I had bought for Erika for Christmas, she had already purchased. It was a perfume she mentioned she had wanted once while we were shopping, wanted so much she purchased it later. I guess it wasn't a hint, but an honest thought. It it the thought that counts right? I hoped so. At night, I hung out with my mom, dad and brother. We watched old family movies. I have to say by the end of the trip I was family videoed out. Vero's high school graduation was fun to see and it was nice seeing 1991 all these years later.



Christmas, I woke up a bit late and my job was to get the drinks for the party. Most places were closed so my nephew Andrew and I found a place, but they had no ice. That kind of sucked. Bekkah and Jamie came over. Erika dropped by and gave presents to everyone, kind of like Santa. She gave the girls Twilight books (1 and 2), bookmarks and presents for my family. She didn't have to, but she did. She also brought my presents. I got a harmony remote I had been wanting, ties, a shirt and a money clip. All such very thoughtful gifts. I gave her her gifts, which were now one less, including Christmas roses, a star necklace and some makeup I thought she would like. I hope she enjoyed her presents. She couldn't stay long because she had to get back to her family.


This year was not meant to be an expensive Christmas, but just the sheer number of people makes things really add up. I tired to get all the kids something they would enjoy. I won't go through a laundry list of presents, but I feel like I did a good job. The whole family was together, we had lunch, opened presents and just chatted a lot. Rick even sent over a nice basket that included nuts, which helped me learned that I can't open nuts well without a nutcracker. Later in the day, my Tio Cama and Tia Priss and family came by. The two babies (Celeste and Sebastian) were cooed, kissed, poked, prodded and compared. I'm glad I'm not a baby. They were cute though. I got my niece Celeste a swing that she very much enjoyed.


The 26th was my dad's birthday. I met up with Abram and we went to Mexico in the morning for lunch and bottles. I want to go off on the cops with machine guns and the mini tank there in the middle of the road, but I feel like I should just get used to it. I didn't much feel in danger, probably because where we were was a very safe place. After getting back, Abram left for Austin and my dad came over to my mom's house and we spent time there with him. The girls (Bex and Jamie) were still over as well. They got to stay a long time with us which was really nice. I worry the other kids might feel like there is favoritism, but I knew that they were going to have a Christmas with few presents, so I tried my best to help them have real presents as well. One of the things I got them was Uno Attacks. They love the game and it was the game I remember playing with their mom last.

That night I went to hang out with Ricardo. It had been a while since we hung out. He always seems like things are going so well. I need to keep better in touch. We met up with Jon and his fiancee who were down from Oklahoma. It had been forever since I had seen Jon, but it was good to see that he was still the same old Jon. I'm very happy for him. We went out to a bar where we met up with Jerry and ran into Sam. Sam really knows his beers, or at the least knows a lot more about them than I do. I should probably start expanding my list of favorites. The bar was a pretty good find by Rick and somewhere I'd go again. With Jon and Jerry there we were Juan short of our high school spring break trip were I first got really drunk. The years that have gone by.



I left shortly before midnight so that I could celebrate my birthday midnight with Erika, but I ended up being in my car when I turned 29 on Dec. 27th. This is the last year of my twenties, they went by so fast. The one thing I can't help thinking is that this is how old my sister Vero was when she passed away. I feel like I am now living the age of her last year of life. She already had two girls and a home and what would I leave behind? I don't know, it is just a thought I can't shake. I don't feel her age, she was always so much older than me. I never stop thinking of her. I usually go to Red Lobster for my birthday, but this year I figured it would be cheaper if we got a botana and ate it at my Mom's house. The food was good, I got some more presents from Erika, including a nice brown belt, a bmw key chain and boxers. At night, Erika's parents invited me to a fancy dinner with them. The place was one that needed reservations days in advance, was very nice and it is always so wonderful of them to invite me with them to eat. I had an amazing steak that I really enjoyed. Lana was headed back to NYC the following day.

The next few days I spent with Erika before we headed up to Austin for New Years. We arrived on the 30th. On the New Year's eve we went shopping at the mall and went to look at some phones for Erika. We left home early for the new years eve party Rino and Jess put together. Jess also decided to throw Rino a surprise birthday party (his bday is on the 2nd) as well.

A lot of people came over and we drank, ate snacks, played darts and watched the ball drop in New York on an hour time delay. I miss the days when they would show the ball drop live and then do something else for the the central standard time people. We had champagne and grapes and everyone played some Rockband. I didn't drink too much, but it was still a lot more than I usually drink. The 2nd was Rino's birthday, but I didn't really see him too much that day. I'm sure he had a good time and that there is a story there.


The rest of the trip wasn't all too exciting, but I guess it depends on how you look at it. I think part of vacation is resting and being on break. We went to a Barnes and Noble to shop for books. I looked for Pooch Cafe: Bark to Work Legislation, but they did not have it. It is not easy to find, which explains why it wasn't under the tree for me. I need to order that book online at some point. Erika did buy me the first Pearls Before Swine book. I was happy to notice that the author is a lawyer who quit his day job. I think it is very funny. There were quite a few books, so I have years to catch up on. I finished the book in one night. Here is yesterdays.

Another thing we did was watch a whole lot of movies. Slumdog Millionaire, Benjamin Button, Changeling, Milk, Blindness, Bolt, Madagascar 2, National Treasure 2 and the Bucket List. Watching a movie is nice when it is cold outside and you can get under the covers. I don't feel up for reviews at the moment, but see Slumdog Millionaire.

One of the things we did was drive to the Natural Bridge Caverns to visit the Wildlife Ranch. It is kind of like an African safari. You pay money and drive through this path where there are all these exotic animals. It was pretty amazing. The ostrich stole the whole food bag from Erika while she was trying to feed it through the window. There were all kinds of animals, from rams, to camels and Rhinos. At one point we were surrounded by zebras and even though you shouldn't, we were feeding them with our hands. A baby zebra put his head in my window all the way in. It was kind of scary having a zebra head next to yours as Erika pushed it back with some food. They were pretty dosal though. It was my favorite part. I couldn't believe I was petting a zebra in my car. I almost got poked by this deer looking animal that had these long pointy horns. I mean like 3 feet long straight. The animal tried to eat something on the floor and as he put his head down they just missed me coming back up. After, we went to the petting zoo and see giraffes. Oh and lemours.

One night Erika got a really bad ear ache. I felt so bad for her. I went at 3am to Walgreens to get her some ear drops. I researched online for what I could do to help. I kept a warm towel on her ear and kept exchanging it hoping it would make her feel better. I tried all kinds of things, but I think the pain was too much, I don't think I made much improvement. I tried really hard though, but unlike in other things in life, you don't get points for effort when someone is sick and you are not helping. She was able to finally get to sleep.

The next day I took her to the doctor. Well it being me, I took her to the HEB clinic. I know it sounds like I'm a bad person, but they were really good there and gave her medicine and everything. We spent 3 hours there and it was much better than had we gone to the hospital the night before. She started to feel a lot better and the pain wasn't as bad for the rest of the trip even though she did have one really high fever.


It is Monday and I am now back at work. I have a lot of things I need to get in order in my life, but it seems like that is always the case. Money is once again on my mind, but I have no one to blame, so I'll figure it out. I need to focus on staying positive and focused.

tempting means tempting