Renewal

"Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil." - Jerry Garcia

Thursday was a slow day at work. I attended a webinar and did a little research. Mainly, I had a lot of time to think. That is when I get into trouble, thinking. There was one other time in my life had I been at work (in VA) and just had my heart start beating like crazy. It was like I took a caffeine pill. I remember I told someone about it that day hoping for some empathy and they couldn't care less, like I was making it up for attention. I learned from that moment that I need to deal with this on my own. I did. Not a good feeling.

My first real job paid me through direct deposit. Each night before payday at midnight the money was wired into my account and I was paid. At first I didn't like it because I didn't have a check to hold in my hands. It didn't feel real. Then I got used to it and learned to appreciate it. My last two jobs have been paid through paper checks. Today, as I went to the bank for my bi-monthly ritual of depositing my paycheck, I thought about how much I missed direct deposit. At least it gives me an excuse to get Subway.

Thursday night there was a lot of rerun TV for some reason. I love my Tivo btw, and have found some kick ass uses for it other than recording all my shows in HD. I can watch instant view netflix movies on it, rent Amazon movies, (YouTube, which I don't use much), download a movie online and transfer it to tivo. Now this might seem like silly, but now I watch dvds on it. Here is my problem with DVDs. Sometimes I'll start watching a movie and I'll want to pause it and pick up another day or another time because something is coming up or I want to start another DVD. Well DVD players are great, but I can't be leaving a movie paused for days. So what I do is transfer my DVD to my computer and upload it to my Tivo. Then I can watch, pause and come back to watching the movie like any other TV show. It is a small difference, but for me it is much better than all the DVDs I have lying around that are unwatched. All the good ones are watched already, but the possible secret gems, they are just lying around. Also, once I'm done watching the tivo dvd, I delete it from the Tivo and my computer and I get the space back (have lots of space.) I don't watch movies more than once for the most part so I'm not starting a collection. Maybe this will help me get through my netflix list as well, though most movies on it are not in the top 100 since I've seen all of those, so when people see the list they wonder what type of taste I have. I think my watched list says more about me than my to be watched list.

So there was this one movie I had been wanting to watch for a long time. It came out in 2001, Life as a House. A girl I used to date told me about it and that she really liked the movie and recommended it to me. I added it to my netflix list back then (which was our list at the time). Well later, in the split she got the netflix list, so I started over with my own list. I added that movie to my list as well. I kept moving it down the list and it was always at about 89 or so with new movies always skipping in line in the top ten, so it never really moved much over the years. Well I decided to watch the movie last night with my now nightly cocktail routine. The movie isn't great, but I think it was good. (46% on the Tomato meter reviews). I liked it though, but then again my dad has a half built house so that kind of hit home. A friend of mine actually posted an entry yesterday about a family working on building a house. I LOVE My Job! -Mini Home Remodel (It comes at the end of the entry.) So, all in all, I'm glad I finally saw the movie.

In a similar follow up, here is my goal, to own a house. I've mentioned it before, but all this mortgage talk on the news keep me thinking about it. Talk about a time to have that goal. I could just marry into a house right? Find a person who has one and bam I'm done, but what kind of plan is that. So I'm working on my credit to get it to a place where I'll qualify. I'm hoping the lessons of the sub-prime mortgage crisis will help me and I'll find something I can afford at a rate I can afford. I should probably set a date certain for my deadline on this goal. Latest, May 2010. My lease will be ending and that seems like enough time to see if I 'earn' the right to have a home. There are so many steps to take, a lot of luck with be involved, but I'm hopeful. I don't know why, but I feel like I need a home to complete my illusion of stability. An education, a car, a home, a job...then you can really start life right? I know they are distractions, but distractions I need.

Fox Renews "The Simpsons," Setting TV Record
I don't care what people say about the show not being as good as it once was. I know that I can still watch it and each time laugh more any other show. This is my all time favorite show. I once gave a girl a "Choo Choo Choose Me" Ralph Valentine's Card and it had a picture of a train. I had a Simpsons quote a day calendar and saved one that I have laminated and posted on my fridge. It got me through college and law school. It has Bart and says, "Part of this D- belongs to God."

Matthews Slams Issa for Using the Term "Democrat Party"
This bothers me a lot and I've written about it before. As Matthews says, "they call themselves the Democratic Party. Let's just call people what they call themselves and stop.." the petty bullshit insults. It was funny when Barney Frank said, "Republicanistical Party."

A Completely Unscientific Pie Chart Of Who Uses Twitter And Why

I've tried to twitter, but I'm no good at it. I like blogging better than micro blogging, though I must say, blogging wise, I'm the type of guy who live blogs my lunch. Speaking of, I wonder what I'm going to eat for lunch today.


‘Crimmigration’ A new study by the Pew Hispanic Center reports that Latinos have now become the largest single ethnic group in the U.S. federal prison system. Nearly half of all Latino offenders were jailed on immigration-related “crimes”.


Now look at this graph. How can this not be a real problem?

I wish I had Spring Break coming up. I wonder what the weekend has in store for me. I guess I'm about to find out.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Quiting on your Country

"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think." - Unknown

So did you watch the President's State of the Union (well officially, address to a joint session of Congress)? It was an excellent speech. I thought is was clever, thoughtful and inspired. Not just a bunch of empty rhetoric or wonky policy details, but a grown up conversation with America on where we are going. The part of finishing high school really touched me. His quote about "quiting on your country" was a great way of putting it. I kept sitting there yelling at the TV - Healthcare!!! and when it actually came up, I was so very happy. "So let there be no doubt: health care reform cannot wait, it must not wait, and it will not wait another year."

"We will rebuild, we will recover, and the United States of America will emerge stronger than before. "

MSNBC Cuts To Jindal With An Audible "Oh God" (VIDEO)(POLL)
This had me laughing so much. I called in Rino and Abram and made them hear it. I'm pretty sure it was Keith. He just said what I was thinking.

Bobby Jindal Is Kenneth The Page (VIDEO) Andrew Sullivan found that if you closed your eyes last night during Jindal's response to Obama, you were sure to see sweet Kenneth Parcell's face float through your head. Sullivan went on to say that he "can barely count the number of emails making that observation."
The speech was very amateurish. I was more flabbergasted about his use of Katrina as an example of why we shouldn't trust government. To me, Katrina was an example of what happens when you put people who hate the government in charge of the government.

Phil Hartman's SNL audition - This guy was very talented and his work on the Simpsons (YouTube Tribute) was amazing. I was always a fan. This video audition from the mid 80s is fun to watch.


(Via The Comic's Comic) - (Via TSOYA)

You know, I just have to share the Simpson's tribute. It really made me laugh.



Breasts Pictured Everywhere At Madrid Fashion Week (PHOTOS - NSFW) - I don't know a lot about Fashion, but is this really fashion? I admit, it makes me more interested in fashion, but this is not the clothes I'd want my wife, girlfriend or daughters to wear. I wish fashion models were attractive...that is just a personal note.

not knowing the truth

Parking

"I don't miss him, I miss who I thought he was." - Unknown Author

So sometimes I post an entry before it is done and then work on it throughout the day. With facebook notes, it only keeps the first version of what I posted, hence the - in progress - notes on some of my past entries. That sucks. I guess I shouldn't do that then.

I saw Real Time with Bill Maher this weekend. I'm glad the show is back after its break. It was a nice change of pace to have 3 female guests. They seemed to be more respectful when disagreeing than men or when there is a mix. His discussion with Ron Paul was great and his idea to end the Drug War (to save all the tax money wasted). I recommend seeing Religulous when you get a chance. I'm a chapter in on the God Delusion by Dawkins. I hope it is interesting. I shouldn't have anything to be scared of if my faith is really that strong. Thinking and reason are gifts that should be thrown to the side.


Social Networking Websites Harm Children's Brains, Says Top Neuroscientist (via HuffPost) Social networking websites are causing alarming changes in the brains of young users, an eminent scientist has warned. Sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Bebo are said to shorten attention spans, encourage instant gratification and make young people more self-centred.

Every kid I know is addicted to Myspace and every college aged plus adult seems addicted to Facebook. This can't be good.

Did you know that the Average American Watching More TV Than Ever THE average American is now watching more TV than ever - more than 151 hours a month - according to the latest Nielsen research.

This seemed worth mentioning since I'm an American that watches TV. I worked my number out to be about 105 hours a month, but we both know I'm probably under counting. Did I do the math right...1hr RM show, .5 Daily Show, 2 hours (TV shows I follow) for 3.5 hours a day times 30 days. You have to assume I'm watching 3.5 hours on weekends as well (humm football season). Either way, it is way too much...coming from the guy who watched a whole season of a show this weekend.

the science of cute (via texan in the city) - cute video I think. I wish I found babies as cute. They just look fragile to me, like something I wouldn't want to break...oh and loud.

I feel like I want to do everything. I think I would be a great psychiatrist, but medical school at this point? Then I think, I'd be a great journalist. How about an FBI agent? A formidable chief of staff for a senator. A computer programmer, MMA fighter. A kick ass piano/guitar/drums player. A professional card player. An architect. All different routes I didn't take. So why not just be an awesome lawyer, well I'm working on it, but there are so many fields. I don't have problems making decisions, nor do I regret them usually, but what is hard for me is not being able to do everything. Then you throw in the bar I would want to own and I'm torn in so many different ways.

So why are manhole covers round? (my answer was the pragmatic one in Wikipedia: Manhole cover) Check out the list, I think it is good. Did you know that modern racing cars create so much vacuum due to their aerodynamics that they can lift a manhole cover off the ground?

Did you know laughing causes an ease of stress? I've had this argument many times, when people get angry that I may laugh right in the middle of a fight and they think I'm being smug or a jerk, but I'm really not. Goosebumps, Freckles, and Cracking Joints: 13 Body Quirks Explained (via HPost)

GOP Senator Connected To Prostitution Ring Calls For Burris Resignation
Pot, Kettle anyone? Wait, the kettle isn't paying for sex. Nice to hear the pot complaining about ethical shortcomings. (note: It is David Vitter btw from Louisiana)

Women Drivers...ok well Woman Parker.

I do admit I'm not the best parallel parker in the world, but over 3 mins to park with such a small car. It is almost out of a TV hidden camera show to see how patient the other people would be.

all the benefits, but none of the commitment...we may want that from others, but will not offer it

Doll

"The word 'meaningful' when used today is nearly always meaningless." - Paul Johnson

I finished watching the first season of the Mentalist this weekend. So far I like it, but it is not a show I'd recommend as must see. I hear it is a lot like Pysch, but I've never seen that show and right now don't have plans to. I'm glad it was only in for a season. I also have the first 3 episodes of Trust Me tivoed (this is a word now), but haven't decided if I'm going to watch that one too.


Another show I checked out last week and followed up on this week was Dollhouse on FOX. I only watched it because Whedon put it together and I was a big fan of Firefly. I once dressed up as a Browncoat for Halloween. I was disappointed with the first episode, but I could see what they were doing, trying to make it more about the plot and not about a girl dressed up in sexy outfits. I guess that they have a lot of time for that in future episodes. I feel like I don't know how I'm going to feel about a show where people are high tech prostitutes who can also be trained to do other cool things. But heart of gold right? I'll give it a shot though because I have faith in him. Dushku has a jacked up face I think (think it is the eyes) , but yet is somewhat attractive nevertheless. Maybe she will grow on me. It feels like Bourne Identity meets Quantum Leap.

I Tivoed the Oscars while I watched the weekend's UFC fight. I then watched it late on Sunday night, fast forwarding the commercials and the boring awards. Well I'm an idiot, I forgot Oscars are notorious for running long, and I didn't add extra time at the end. So when I get to best actress, it ends. It is now very late, but this is the main part. I have to go online to see the acceptance speeches for Actress, Actor, and Best Picture. I'm kind of glad Rourke didn't win. He did great and had he won it would of been fine, but if this is really a come back, hey do it twice, I mean you just played yourself it seems. I heard that the guy who was selling drugs in that movie got busted for selling drugs, but that was word of mouth. I'm happy for Sean Penn, Milk was a good movie. To be honest about the Reader, I feel that the actress should of been nominated for supporting actress...I wonder how they decide that. Best Picture of course was a lock. 'Slumdog' triumphs at Oscars (via cnn) There is no excuse to not see Slumdog Millionaire. I didn't know that main character guy was dating the hot chick and she left her man for him. That is awesome, you know since I can't imagine him not falling for her during the filming. I know, I could be more descriptive, but it is early and there is a lot of good Oscar talk out on the interwebs filled with great detail. I liked KungFu Panda more than Wall*e. The Joker moment was touching I think. Oh and the Pineapple Express intro was so funny. Make me think of: Legalizing Marijuana More Popular Than GOP Leaders (via HuffPost) The Best Oscar Speech Ever "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto" -- Kunio Kato, winner of best animated short, said it (via TMZ) Thank you very much right? , but Mr. Roboto is just about the song right?

Good Ole Fox News: Barnes: When Bristol Palin Said That Abstinence ‘Is Not Realistic At All,’ She Meant That It ‘Actually Is Realistic’
As ThinkProgress has previously noted, abstinence-only education has proven to be completely unrealistic. Federal studies have found that abstinence-only sex education “does not keep teenagers from having sex. Neither does it increase or decrease the likelihood that if they do have sex, they will use a condom.”
In November 2007, 10 leading scientists in the field of adolescent sexual and reproductive health warned that abstinence-only education withholds “information that may be critical to protecting the health of young people.” This past April, health experts told Congress that abstinence-only education programs “have not cut teen pregnancies or sexually transmitted diseases or delayed the age at which sex begins.” (via ThinkProgress)
Don't forget your purity ring. How has experience not taught us better by now? Abstinence and "abstinence only education" are not the same thing.

I'm starting to read Outliers by Malcolm Galdwell. So far I'm really impressed. It has made me rethink a lot of things. Parts remind me of that quote about George Bush, "he was born on third and thought he hit a triple." The whole idea behind birthdays and how they affect outcomes is pretty impressive. Also, the 10,000 hour rule I had heard before, but had completely forgotten. I must be a master of sleeping.

I need more blogs to follow. I wonder which of my facebook friends have blogs that I don't even know about.

I haven't talked too much politics in a while, but there are things that are really bothering me. I get that we are in a terrible recession and something BIG has to be done. This article got me thinking: Sanford Offers Unemployed South Carolina Resident ‘Prayers’ Instead Of Stimulus Funds
I can't believe these Republican governers. You know the talking point, Bush inherited a budget surplus and a strong economy, and he left us with a huge deficit, two wars, (I'll ignore the list of failures I've mentioned in the past), but he still gave us HUGE tax cuts for the rich. So the conservatives got what they wanted, they ran it their way for 8 years and ran our country into the ground. Hey, we kind of elected them right. So now, progressives has the power and need to just go all or nothing with their ideas. I mean if they really believe in their principles, forget about working out deals to placate the conservatives, just do your best to make the BEST plan and push it forward. If your plan fails, you fail and elections will take care of that. But why water down your plans with conservative ideas that haven't worked in exchange for a few Republican votes. There are some great conservative ideas, some progressives agree with, that is the point of picking the best ideas, but I would rather them fail by doing the right thing in a big way than fail bigger by trying to water down their ideas. They need to be strong and since they said they could run this country better, well then do it, and don't let Rush get in your way. Stop worrying about votes, if the country gets better, that is all that matters. - Make them filibuster! I want to see it.

why?

Responsible

"Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience." - Samuel Johnson

"My father used to always say there were four rules for getting married:
1. You need a woman who loves you unconditionally
2. A woman who will always challenges you
3. A woman who you always want to make love to
And more important of all, 4. you need to make sure those women never meet.
It wasn't a joke when my father said it either, more like autobiography."
- Lie to Me - ep. on 2/19

My office needs a good cleaning. I wish I had a legal assistant. I just don't think I'm very good at filing stuff. I have enough experience, but still need a good system. I know where everything is, but it could be organized much better. I'll figure it out. My surroundings feel like the thoughts in my brain, they are everywhere, but it is hard to focus on just one thing without being distracted with everything else.

Thursday night was a TV night for me. Lie to Me (DVRed), Grey's, Private Practice, the Office, 30 Rock, My Name is Earl...man there is a lot of TV on Thursdays. What happened to the good old days when people read books instead. I created a cocktail of all my favorite vices to accompany me.

Socks, Former First Cat, Dies
19 years old. I may not have super president resources for my cats, but it gives me hope. Rest in Peace Socks.

I've made a transition to being a more responsible money manager now that I'm fearing the economic downturn. I'm trying to find ways to save money and stop making it paycheck to paycheck. My goal is a little over a year from now to own a mortgage on a home. One thing I do that helps is at the beginning of the month, I pay rent, Rino deposits the money into my account and Abram pays me in cash, usually from bartending. I collect the cash in my new money clip and keep it as a sort of savings. If it isn't in my bank account, I don't spend it. It also works as a poker bankroll in case I ever need it or a quick ATM. It feels like the old days when my grandparents saved their money in coffee cans. So this month I was paying my bills online (you can pick the day they are delivered) and noticed that once again I was short come the end of the month. I had to take all the cash I had saved up and deposit it into my account yesterday to cover the difference. That leaves me with about 30 dollars of wiggle room. So it feels good knowing I'm paid up until March 1st, but man am I cutting it close. Luckily I use my AmEx charge card (must pay off each month) to get through the rest of the month (ie gas, food, etc.). My dad was right, your expenses really do rise with your income. I need to be living at about half of my expenses that I currently have. No time like the present. Thanks for bearing with me, it is just a topic that is on my mind a lot, but not too interesting I admit.

I was cleaning my room, which is more like moving stuff from one place to another because it doesn't really have a place. Everything should have a place I was told, and I tried, but I'm still not there yet. I vacuumed and changed my sheets and could not believe that I could still not find the ear drops that I had bought a while back. How could they just disappear? Then I noticed in the crevice in my bed on the side I don't sleep on, it was right there between the bed frame and box spring.

Today I canceled my Friendster account. I had forgotten I had it. It was the first social networking site I joined. I got the idea from Mark D. back in the day and decided to check it out during my downtime at work. I kind of feel bad for them, they were first into the area, but got beat out by MySpace and Facebook.

...[deleted]...If that were the case, I would be indifferent then, but maybe that is the part that bothers me, having indifference rubbed in my face.

I got to attend a real estate closing at work. It was very informative. It made for a good ending of the week. I also had to hand deliver a brief we have been working on.

Houston for the weekend - proud

25 Random Things

“There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.” - Malcolm X

So the other day I'm messing around on facebook and I learned how to import my blog entries into the notes section. I thought it was a pretty neat option and I didn't even know it was possible. It was nice to get some very thoughtful comments. I wonder if my updates will be imported as well. I still wish I would integrate my flickr photos better into facebook. Maybe if it was a tab or something.



Even the New York Times is talking about the 25 Random Things About Me. Ah, Yes, More About Me? Here Are ‘25 Random Things’ I'm gonna give it a shot even though to be honest I don't really know how this works. I have to say, peer pressure played a role in this one. Like capri pants or boy shorts for girls, I didn't like this idea at all at first, but over time it grew on me.

The List

1. There are 5 siblings total in my family, 3 girls, 2 boys. 7 nieces/nephews (2 boys, 5 girls). For some reason I really want twins (two girls), but it doesn't run in my genes as far as I know/seen.

2. I was in band for 1 six weeks period in the 6th grade, but had to quit because my parents wouldn't buy me a drum and my father said you can't be in band and play football. I have no musical talent to speak of. My untouched guitar might have something to say about that.

3. I had my front two teeth knocked out in fight when I was in kindergarten. I think they should come out naturally.

4. I started blogging back in 1999 during my freshman year in college. They were called "updates" to my personal homepage. I never stopped. I rarely go back and read entries from years ago.

5. I may have pursued a legal career, but I had a long stint working at an IT Helpdesk during college. Computer Science would have been a good route to take. I will always regret not learning how to program.

6. I've taken a break from online poker the last few years, but I am pretty decent at limit poker and mainly specialize in no limit (low stakes) sit and gos. I got to watch the 2006 World Series of Poker in Vegas.

7. I have a cat named Mia, a name that was reserved for a future daughter. Instead it because short for Miami where I got her.

8. I was my grandfather's favorite grandson. I never did anything to earn it, which made it mean that much more.

9. I moved to DC after college without a job because I once visited when I was 12 years old and vowed to come back. I got my law degree there, but left behind a large part of my life.

10. I can tell you which type of "coke" I'm tasting (fountain, 20oz, can, Mexican, 2 liter or 3 liter). They taste different. Pepsi challenge away.

11. I'm addicted to Amazon. I'm even a Prime member.

12. I have that condition where you think you have all these medical conditions...you know I probably don't really have that condition, but I think I do.

13. I spent a summer at Dartmouth Debate Camp while I was in high school. This is where I learned that there were some amazing debaters out there. Too bad spread doesn't have much use in real life oral debates.

14. I tried out for the Cornell Football team one day (as a deep snapper), but didn't make it (was too small, but had the fastest snap). It was while I was playing Sprint Football, 3 years of great fun.

15. I have stayed at the Euro Disney hotel, but have never been to Euro Disney. I can't wait for my next trip to Europe.

16. I have this irrational belief that HIMYM is about my life. I also thought Good Luck Chuck was based on me too. I probably think this about a lot of movies.

17. I know a lot more about rooster fighting than you might imagine.

18. My first car was a black Mustang. We sold it when I left for college and I went carless.

19. I have never broken a bone (impressive considering 9 years of football (2JH,4HS,3C)). I thought I broke my toe in high school once, but never went to the doctor.

20. I don't think I ever really learned to read correctly. I just memorized the words by sight and not how to sound them out. Considering all the reading I do, it wasn't too much of a problem. When I read Spanish I have trouble sounding out the words and have to hear them as I say them to fully understand them.

21. I like hurricanes, a lot. Probably because one has never almost killed me. This probably goes for a lot of bad weather, but not heat waves.

22. My Spanish is terrible, yet I can still usually tell if a person is from Spain, Mexico, Puerto Rico, DR, or Cuba from how they speak. (Central I'm ok with and South America I have problems with.)

23. I once fell for a girl while in the 7th grade and had to wait until 7 years later until she fell for me. I vowed never to be that patient again.

24. I consume way too much news. I read every headline on the Huffington Post (via google reader) and watch/listen (radio) to at least 3 hours a day (including Rachel Maddow and Dailyshow). I have cut back drastically since the election and each day try to cut back a bit more. I am looking for a balance of being informed and not stressing over things I can't control.

25. I still don't know what I really want to be when I grow up. Like most people, I also want to write a book, but I don't know about that. That is like wanting to drive, but not knowing where. Still, that isn't what I want to be either.

I had a dream where it was worth the wait

Remembering

"He has spent his life best who has enjoyed it most." - Samuel Butler

Dear Vero,

Six years have past now since I got the news. I feel like such a different person now. It sucks feeling like you don't exist, like you are just a thought in my mind. I guess that is what faith is for right. I still look to my phone thinking to call you. We saw so many home videos this past holiday with you in them. That was nice. I'm now at your age when you passed away. I'm no where near as mature it seems. Sometimes I feel guilty, like I could of made things different. It is not rational, but those thoughts are still there. I miss you very much. I wonder how things would be different if you were still around. The wisdom I never got to learn from you. I could go off an how proud your girls make me, but you already know. I haven't been by to visit in a while. It is always hard. I will soon though. I don't really know what to say. We have a new member of the family, Celeste, and everyone generally seems to be in good spirits. Things are just different. I don't want your memory to fade as each year passes. Thanks for looking over us.

Love, Marty

I called in sick for work on Monday. I saw some movies including Underworld 3. I thought it was pretty good, made me want to watch part 1 and 2 again. Another movie that I saw from my netflix was "A Lot Like Love." It was much better than I thought it would be. I really like the whole theme about having the 5 year plan and how everything came second to the plan. If something or someone didn't fit in the plan, well they were put aside. Of course the moral of the story is that in following your plan, you sometimes miss out on the real stuff in life. Your life is right now, not when you have a career, money, stability. It is one of those lessons easily understood, but one I know I don't really follow.

I found a Holister bag in my room with a receipt from 12/31. It felt like it was a sign. I threw the bag away. I made this from a paper clip for vday. I thought it was creative. Then I threw it away, wasn't very useful.

wishing I was at the beach this weekend

Calendar

"When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people." -Abraham Joshua Heschel

Thursdays are a good example of constantly living in the future. What do you think is on my mind? Well the weekend of course. Does that mean I'm not going to fully experience and cherish Thursday? Probably. I have my niece's 3rd Twilight book in the trunk the of my car. I should of just ordered it online and had it sent to my mom's house. I'll do my best to get it to her.

I have started playing poker again. My real concern is burn out and consistency. I feel the need to set really high standards and goals such as 3 sets a day, 12 tables a set, 5 times a week. That is a 15 hour commitment, not including the time to study the game and review my hands. So I decided to try 2 sets a day (an hour a piece), 8 tables a set (@$16 a table), 5 times a week (2 days off). I've done well this week, but I still don't have a bankroll that is ready.

Today is Lincoln's birthday. New Lincoln Pennies Unveiled: See Pictures Of Each Penny

Here is a good story I read today:
Although not an organized charitable event, I simply stopped for coffee at a local specialty coffee shop. The line was long and twisty, everyone anxious for their morning coffee. Apparently a repeat customer, a young man with developmental difficulties came to the head of the line and ordered a fancy blender concoction. As he struggled with counting his coins, he was oohing and aahing over how delicious the drink tastes. "It is so good with chocolate on top." The waitperson realized he did not have enough money and kindly said, "Hey Hank, you need a $1.47 more, bring it in next time, OK?" Hank nodded his head yes as he spun around with what can only be described as a look of pure joy on his face over this drink.

I was several patrons behind and involved in a juicy novel not paying much attention but thought to myself, I will just give them the $1.47 Hank owed when my turn comes up. When I mentioned this to the waitperson he said, "God, I love our customers!! Every single person in front of you has offered to pay the difference!" Not that it mattered as Hank's benefactor walked back in with him shortly thereafter and made good on the purchase. But still in the random stop of an overcast day, there was kindness flowing from people over something so simple. Our basic decency and willingness to help one another out in the smallest of situations is magical and for the briefest moments confirm that goodness prevails.

- Pamela Ehret

(via HuffPost Readers Pay It Forward: A Round-Up Of Random Acts Of Kindness )


Today was Darwin's birthday. (And Abe Lincoln too.) This is a really good article. Darwinism Must Die So That Evolution May Live We don’t call astronomy Copernicism, nor gravity Newtonism. “Darwinism” implies an ideology adhering to one man’s dictates, like Marxism.

A great response is made at: Darwin is already dead, and we know it. So, obviously, don't canonize, beatify, or apotheosize Darwin … but don't throw him out, either. He is (not was) important.

Then we have that fact that On Darwin’s Birthday, Only 4 in 10 Believe in Evolution

Check out how education levels affects things.

This is on the same topic. (click on picture to be able to read) - note all comics in this strip have the same pictures.

via (http://www.qwantz.com/archive/001408.html)

I got the idea of using "via" thanks to Claudia. I try my best to cite to authors since a lot of my thinking is just admiring other people's thoughts.

2/12

Driving

"It seems to me if you want something badly enough, whether you're a man or a woman, you'll do whatever you have to do to get it." Aaron Eckhart

This was supposed to be my weekend, a weekend I was looking forward to, but it ended up being my weekend in a completely different way. I stayed home and decided to work on a project I had been thinking of for years. My own very stand-ing tread-mill d-esk. (avoiding the google) My experience with carpentry isn't extensive, so I just drew a picture of what I wanted. I then measured to make sure it would be the right height and size. I took the drawing to Abram and got his input. Other than the obvious question of why are you building this, he gave me some pointers and ideas. Then I went to Rino who went with me to Home Depot. It was a cheap purchase, about 4o bucks, including 4 pieces of wood, a hand saw, 4 shelf brackets, nails and some screws. I got home and tried to cut the top desk piece to the right length. Even with a brand new saw, my skills were weak. I got about half way through before Abram finished the job. I then put it together just like I had imagined in my mind. It took me a while and unlike putting furniture together, there were no instructions, so I was just making it up as I went along. Rino helped me nail on the legs braces and my makeshift desk was built. It fit like a glove, impressive, but it was supposed to have an inch grace in each side, so I got real lucky. It worked just like I wanted except that I have trouble pushing the buttons. It isn't too shaby looking either. We'll see what will come of this, but the feeling of being accomplished was well needed.

I was asked to be a groomsman in my friend Jon's wedding. It was quite an honor to be asked I think. White tuxes, I know. I've known Jon since the 3rd grade, but have been terrible at keeping in touch the last 10 years or so. It is going to be here in Texas on June 13th. This of course is a week after my cousin Adam's wedding on June 6th. Those are going to be busy back to back weekends. I'd say it seems like the world is getting married, but I have a feeling there are more weddings coming. I've thought about getting married in the past, I have, but it has never panned out like I expected. The main thought I always have is how expensive it must be. There is no way I could afford to have a wedding, much less even purchase a respectable wedding ring. I used to know a girl who was pretty set on a Tiffany's band. I looked it up and wow. Of course, like anything else, if my life was ever at a place where marriage was an option, I'd make it happen I'm sure. I guess the ideal is to be with a person who doesn't care about the ring, or the wedding and just wants to be with you, even if that means going to Vegas or doing something redicoulously small. I guess you want the best of both worlds right, a person who feels like that and then at the same time giving them the day they deserve. Cause for me, it is the person and type of relationship that matters more than the details. My biggest fear is to get married because I think it is the right time in my life or thinking it might provide security in a rocky relationship. It needs to be for the right reason/person. Then again, maybe setting unrealistic expectations can be a problem too. Why you're likely to marry your parent


It is hard to be aware of your character and personality flaws I think. They are part of you and must be there for a reason. Even when you notice them, it isn't easy to change what has been so natural, whether innate or learned over time through habit. I was thinking about mine. I know I can be very argumentative. (I'll skip the justification) Also, I can be somewhat agoraphobic and make my friends think that I'm not spending time with them because of them. I have trouble doing things at a moderate pace, my approach tends to be all or nothing. This creates much burn out and a revolving door of new hobbies. I'm where I'm at in life because of who I am, so I can't complain too much. I guess I just don't know what my ideal self really is. I think about this stuff when I decide I'm in a rut and want to be better and create a more fullfilling life. What changes would I need to make, would they even stick? Maybe I'll just never be a morning person.



Why Kissing Is So Pleasurable: New Research
The reason that kissing feels so pleasurable is that sparks a surge of hormones in our brains, according to new research. Couples who share a passionate kiss this Valentine's Day will enjoy sensations of relaxation and excitement because of a complex series of chemical processes, as well as their love for their partners.



Izzy AND George Leaving "Grey's Anatomy"
Say it isn't true? Not Izzy. Oh George is still on the show, didn't even notice.

Why You Should Never Blow Your Nose
This is news to me. Darn.

Gotta Love the Onion : FDA Approves Depressant For The Annoyingly Cheerful (VIDEO)
Some critics say Despondex is unnecessary, that the same effects can be achieved by not exercising and visiting nursing homes, but the makers are optimistic.

the blues - that is what I call this section

Another Day

“Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.” - Bernice Johnson Reagon

Tuesday I was cleaning up around my desk at work and I found a mini calendar I had made on a post it note. I wanted to keep it, but it wasn't very useful anymore so I threw it out. It wasn't like I followed it anyway, with getting sick and all. Then I found out that I was late on paying my Kay's bill. I should of picked it up a few weeks ago. This started some online bill paying that left me thinking about the 15th already. I lowered my netflix plan and hope to implement other cost saving measures soon.

I have this to do list that feels like it doesn't change much sometimes. One thing that was on the list for a long time was getting Max a new tag after changing my phone number. Koki and Mia got new tags a while back (very nice, but a bit big) and today I finally got Max's new tag. Hopefully that will give me some momentum for knocking things off the list. You know, like going to DMW to get a new license, to the dry cleaners, the tailor and new air condition filters.

I hate to admit this, but I never saw the final episode of Friends. I saw a majority of the 10 seasons, but since I caught it mostly on syndication, I think season 9 and 10 I didn't fully watch. That being said, I was home and there was a Friends episode on. I checked the info and it was called The Last One. In watching it, it became apparent that I had not seen it. At the end of the half hour, we were left with a cliffhanger. It was "Part One" of two. (I'm guessing the finale was an hour.) Guess which episode didn't follow? Part Two. So now I'm off trying to find part two so that I can finally see the ending of Friends. I know what happens, and maybe caught parts of, but look forward to watching it.

Do you know the average person buys over 50 greetings cards every year? I am definitely not the average person. I think I buy 3. Wow.

I know this is TMI, but my favorite pair of boxers tore. They have British flags on them and reminded me of the countries my friends and I were given in college. That, and they were really comfortable. I was England, which was something to be proud of. I was never demoted, but I'm sure I've deserved that. There is a much longer story here.

My brother got a job. I think it is technically part-time, but it should be really helpful for his resume. I hope he enjoys it. It really does seem like things are tough job wise everywhere. For example, I ran across this story:

Thousands Line Up For 35 Miami Firefighter Jobs
More than 1,000 applicants had stood in line -- many of them camping out overnight -- to apply for 35 firefighter jobs.

Update: Unemployment hits 7.6 percent

Rachel Maddow keeps making news in my book. So I listen to her radio show on my way home from work (or via podcast) and then at night watch her TV show. It is part of my news cut back strategy. I had started listening to her radio show before she had a TV show and really liked it, especially "Ask Dr. Maddow." Monday, I notice it wasn't on the air, but she takes vacations so I just ignored it. Then Tuesday, the same thing. I have to do a lot of research and then find out that she is not doing her radio show anymore. (NY Daily News link). There is a morning hour thing they are doing on the radio, but it is not her regular radio show. I get it, she was super super busy and something had to give. What I don't get is why she didn't say so on her last day of her radio show. I apologize if I was just not paying attention, but on her Friday radio show and her Friday TV show there was no mention about the changes. I think it would of been a thoughtful thing to do, especially for people that listen. So now I've gotten an hour back in my day, maybe they will give her the 10pm hour too.

This was pretty interesting: Behavior: $1? No Thanks. 100 Cents? You Bet. [New York Times]

the key

Superbowl Watching

"Some people will not tolerate such emotional honesty in communication. They would rather defend their dishonesty on the grounds that it might hurt others. Therefore, having rationalized their phoniness into nobility, they settle for superficial relationships." - Unknown

Sunday I watched the Superbowl with much anticipation like most Americans. Unlike years past when I've been surrounded by friends and pizza, this year it wasn't as festive of an event. Abram and Rino went to friend's houses to watch and I bought a 6 pack of beer, some chips and watched from home alone. I would of rather been at the parade. I really wasn't in the mood for going out, I haven't been in quite some time. The game was good. I was rooting for the Cardinals because they were the underdogs. I was very excited when they almost pulled it off, but almost means nothing in football. I got a few things done cleaning wise, but still have a lot to go. I guess there is basketball and baseball to fill the void until next fall.

Here is my personal take on the superbowl ads. My favorite was the Doritos Crystal ball one.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Here is a breakdown of all the Superbowl ads and videos. Other good ones I thought were: cars.com one, and the Audi commercial. You know, Alec Baldwin's Hulu one wasn't too bad either.

I hope you are having a happy Groundhog day. Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, so 6 more weeks of winter. I don't even know why they have a weather.com when we have almanacs and groundhogs. Such a great movie. I have less to say about this day every year.

I wish I had HBO. I was watching Big Love this weekend and it is hard to keep up, but I'm only one episode back. I didn't think I would like the show when I first started watching it, but now it is season 3 and I'm still here. On a similar note: Mormons Admit Larger Role In California's Prop 8 Campaign Banning Gay Marriage

I finally got to see The Reader and Doubt. Good movies and great acting, but I don't see them having widespread appeal. I'm close to being ready to Tivo quickly through the Oscars this month. I still have Frost/Nixon, Vicki Christina Barcelona and Revolutionary Road to watch soon, oh and Rachel Getting Married (I'll probably pass on this one). The Visitor, Frozen River and Happy-Go-Lucky I haven't seen either and don't have plans to see right now. That is a lot of movies left I guess, but still less than the amount I have seen already. I'm pretty sure Slumdog Millionaire is going to take it for Best Picture.

It is not hard to feel disappointed in yourself. I hate letting myself down. I feel like I have standards and rules I live by, things I hold myself to, hold others to. What I'm willing to accept and not accept. Then I see myself break those rules over and over telling myself that it is just an exception, that it serves the greater good, but I'm really just lying to myself. I've always prided myself on keeping my promises and I know that breaking just one defeats the entire meaning and dependability of my future promises. I just need to be more consistent with who I want to be and consequences be damned. What kind of happiness you do you get from compromising your values? There is a difference from doing what is easy and what is right. I forgive myself I guess.

I got my new desktop in. My old desktop has died on me and I was able to savage files by connecting my old harddrive to my computer. What really sucks is all the programs I'm losing. Programs I paid for, but no longer have the serial or are registered to that computer only. Also my old tv tuner is broken as well. I'm hoping to do a fresh install on the old computer at some point.

being careful