"Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning." - Benjamin Franklin
Now that Memorial Day has since passed and the halfway point of the year approaches, life is settling back into its regular routine. I'm focusing on some personal projects and seeing if new habits will stick. I've also been making more of an effort to go out with friends and be more social. I'm very lucky to have a lot of great friends in town who are willing to try new things or do the old things that are always fun.
This is going to be a meandering entry scattered with random thoughts and events, but a good catch all to get my writing back on track. I haven't focused on my blog as much because I tend to do most of my sharing on social networks and writing about it can feel duplicative. My blog has been relegated to entries about weddings or other big events.
I recently started going to the bars on Rainey St. and found a bar that has some great bar games I was introduced to. Each time I go there I feel like I always meet the most random and interesting new people. One person I met gave me a great restaurant recommendation. We even went down there to celebrate Sarita's birthday a while back and I really enjoyed bar hopping to places I had never been before. I like the feel down there, but as it grows and becomes more packed I'm sure I'll enjoy it less.
I even recently tried stand up paddle boarding with Ricardo for the first time on Town Lake. I had a great time, but about an hour in, my cockiness got the best of me and before I knew it, I lost my balance and fell over into the water. It was funny I must say, but not how I imagined it going. During Memorial Day weekend I went with Danny and his friend to the Greenbelt where we just hung out in the water and had some beers. It was very relaxing and I learned that you can make sandcastles out of rocks. I don't know why I don't go down there more often.
Memorial Day weekend marked my one year anniversary of moving into my new home in south Austin. I can't believe I've made a years worth of mortgage payments. 29 more years to go. This is a goal that I am very happy I achieved and when I think back to my days in Miami back in 2004-05, I think about how I took the time to hand write a list of goals I wanted for myself. I'm proud to say that I've marked many off of that list, but I still have more to go, not to mention the ones I keep adding as I mature.
This coming weekend in June, it will be my Cornell Ten Year Reunion. I will not be attending, but the idea that it has already been 10 years since I graduated college, NOT HIGH SCHOOL, BUT COLLEGE is mind blowing. I mean wow, how time has flown by. I've thought a lot about it, but college was an experience that was shaped by my friends and the people around me. It is such a huge part of who I am. I care more about planning a trip to see all of them as my reunion rather than returning to the place where we made those memories. It doesn't mean I wouldn't like to go back one day, but I still haven't found an occasion. People are not kidding when they say that those are some of the best years in your life. It was like a four year summer camp.
I recently saw the HBO documentary Weight of a Nation on the national obesity epidemic. It was overwhelming at times, but very informative. I don't know how parents do it because I would be so stressed if my kids were obese and on their way to type 2 diabetes. It seems like everyone knows the problem and can tell you what to do, but yet no one seems to be doing it. The interesting fact was that obese people don't even consider themselves obese, a technical term based on BMI, not a slur, because by comparison there are people that much worse. I guess the best thing I can do is just work on my personal health and see what improvements I can make. That is what my brother always tell me when I worry about this type of stuff.
This documentary also coincided with my signing up for a gym membership, but they were not causally related. This is a habit I'd like to start up again, but I know my own history, so I won't get too excited until I've really started to see a past where it has become part of my routine. I have even tried waking up at 5am each morning to run, something I have sworn to many people is just an impossible feat for me. So far, I have been able to disprove myself, but each morning it is still a struggle to make the right decision. I have missed a few days, but I forgive myself and stop viewing it as "having to wake up" or "must wake up tomorrow," but instead, "I want to wake up." There is a nice calm feeling about being out when the sun isn't even up yet. I take my dog to run with me some mornings, but has been a bit difficult.
The other day I was going though an old journal from college and I saw some notes I had made after a class. The page was empty and there was just one note that said, "new thinking does not change behavior, new behavior changes thinking." That is such an important concept that I have lost sight of. I'm always working hard on developing new ways of thinking and understanding things, but I'm always lacking on the behavior side. I need to focus on just doing more things and watching my thinking following suit. I want to focus more on just changing my behavior instead of just thinking I can think my way out of things.
Along that vein, I've been making an effort to try and do a lot of things outside of my comfort zone. From being more social and spontaneous when I'm out, to volunteering to go on stage, and other various efforts that I consciously try. I have gotten pretty decent at learning names, but it is always a work in progress. Sometimes it is like there are two parts of me that are in constant conflict. One part of me wants to change and grow and the other part of me wants to stay the same and protect me from the unknown threats of change. I don't like the idea of not growing and improving, so I hope they can work together better.
As you can tell, goals have been on my mind a lot. Maybe it has to do with reading a lot on this topic recently and trying to figure out ways to continually improve myself. I heard this great example about how taking a helicopter to the top of Mt. Everest wouldn't be as fulfilling as making it there yourself. You would see what was at your final goal, sure, but it wouldn't mean anything and you wouldn't be equipped for climbing another mountain. Earning something means more than taking shortcuts and probably teaches you more that can prove to be helpful in other parts of your life.
For example, my experience from Jr. High through college playing football helped me a lot. I know people say this a lot and our coaches loved to tell us this, but a lot of it rings true. I personally learned many important skills like mental toughness that has helped me throughout my life in school and my career. The feeling of having no energy, wanting to quit, but keeping on and trying your best is something that just doesn't come natural. How to follow orders and when to step it up and become a leader. Another good thing I learned was about the routine of working out and pushing myself. It is true that they have fallen by the way side dramatically in recent years, but as we all know when it comes to bad habits, they never go away and once you can get them started again, it is like riding a bike. I could make this same analogy about life and poker, but I'll save you that one right now. The mathematical certainty that making the right decision despite the outcome will pay in the long run is the closest I probably come to having faith.
My brother Abram turned 28 years old last week. For some reason I have kept myself in my mind at a stationary 30 years old even though I'm older and now it feels like he is catching up to me. We had dinner with a group of friends on Saturday night and then went to a bar where Abram's friend got him a bottle. It has been many many years since I have had bottle service at a bar. I had a great time and since it had been a while since I had seen him, it was good to see he was doing well.
We went to this place I found out about by chance. When I went in the night before to make a reservation, I ended up chatting it up with the hostess and bartenders for about two hours. I know it is their job to talk and have fun with me, but we had some enjoyable conversations and it made for a nice night. The next night when I went in it was nice to see them again. Too bad they were quitting and that was their last day.
I have decided to try salsa lessons again. It has always been something I have never been able to get past the beginner stage from, much like guitar. People tell you to learn salsa to meet girls, but I don't actually care about that part. (Don't get me wrong, I love meeting girls, it just isn't my motivation to trying to learn salsa.) My friends have always been so great at it and I've always felt like the kid that can't swim with how often it comes into my life. The place I signed up for lessons also had a yoga class the hour before, so I figured since I'm into getting outside my comfort zone, why not also try yoga. It was a pleasant experience, but much harder than I expected. The instructor was very helpful and kind to me. I'm sure most people get yoga crushes on their instructors, but her husband has nothing to worry about. I'll probably compare every yoga instructor to her as a comparison. I hope to try it again.
The salsa lessons were fun, but unexpectedly, there were more guys than girls there. Probably because guys can't just pretend to dance salsa. We practiced some of the basic stuff and hopefully it will be able to stick. Dancing is not a skill that is in my natural wheelhouse. One thing I've always had trouble with, assuming I just don't lack a sense of rhythm and have a tin ear, is staying on beat. I just can't ever get that right. Once I learn that, I feel like I'll be able to learn anything. I had a lot of fun and that is the most important part.
Finally, I just started listening to the new John Mayer album and really enjoy it. There are a few songs on there that I really like. I won't get into it, but I think it is worth a listen. That reminds me, I bought my tickets for Austin City Limits this year, so I have a lot of new artists to learn about so that I can be prepared.
And that concludes my litany of random snapshots in my life that came to mind while I was writing.
"But with the will to work hard and a library card"