Another Leap Day

"Better to shoot for the stars and land in the mud, than shoot for the mud and make it." - Unknown

Leap years are cool I think. I can't say I fully understand how they work other than they are every four years. I understand the it takes 365 days for the earth to go around the sun and i'm assuming it takes a fourth of a day extra so after 4 years we add a day. This 6th grade science (who am I kidding, 3rd grade science) isn't too complicated, but the point is I just trust that it all adds up even though I've never checked it out for myself. An extra day is always welcomed. My niece Sarah had her birthday on February 28th, which I noticed when I did the math that she was born on a leap year. So I asked my sister Ana about it and she told me that she chose to make sure Sarah wouldn't be born on the 29th because she didn't want her to feel like her birthday couldn't be fully celebrated each year. I think it was a good call.

There was an Obama Rally on Wednesday at Texas State. I wanted to go, but I knew it would be packed and I was really tired after my run, so I ended up falling asleep that night at like 9pm. It sucks when you wake up at 3am and think it is the morning and then have to keep waking up every few hours waiting for 7am. Of course I wake up late, ironic when I got so much sleep.

Thursday for lunch my boss took our clients, me and Susan to the Salt Lick. I had never been there before. It is a BBQ place and I have to admit it was really good. I found it curious that they only accepted cash, yet they were a long established place. I think they have some of the best BBQ in Austin. These were some great clients.

Thursday night I had plans to go out with Oscar and Abram. I was hoping for a low key happy hour and hopefully Oscar and Abram would get a chance to hang out since Oscar works most of the day and we all really don't see each other even though we live in the same house. Well Abram was fortunate enough to get invited to a Spurs Mavs basketball game, and of course he had to take that offer. That left Oscar and I, and he was still up to going out so I was game. The thing is that I don't work well with the Austin schedule. Let me explain, in DC I could go to work and at 5:30 go out to happy hour, be home by 8pm (10pm latest if the night was really good) and then you go to bed and wake up early for work in the morning. Weekends were normal, you go out about 10 or 11 and stay out until they stop selling beer. In Austin, there are probably happy hour places, but the places we go to are Thursday night places that are geared for people who don't have work on Friday and can stay out late. So we get to the bar and it is empty at 9pm. We actually only pay 3 bucks to get in, even though it will be like 10 dollars later in the night. We have some drinks and catch up on how things have been going. Oscar then went out and did his dancing thing, while I had a few drinks and had a good time texting. I called it a night early because I had work in the morning, but Oscar stayed because he was having a good time.

So I'm in bed not yet fully asleep and it is about 3am. I'm having trouble falling asleep because I decided to watch Lost when I got home, but I'm almost there. Then the phone rings and it is Abram. All I hear is New Braunfels, and I tell him, man its late, I'm asleep, of course I can't go hang out in New Braunfels. Then he tells me, no no, we got pulled over by a cop. That woke me up. So, on the way back from the game, a person he did not know was taking him home when she got pulled over by a cop. They took her in and left Abram stranded at a gas station. I drove down there and picked him up and he filled up my tank of gas. You would think I would be frustrated because of the inconvenience, but the fact that he was ok and that he wasn't in any trouble was more important. It sucks to bail a person out of jail, now that sucks. Now I am paying for it today though, but I'm going to sleep really well tonight.

grrrr

New Life

"Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day." -Unknown

It is crazy, Oscar, Rino and I were all born within 7 days of each other back in 1979. We all have sisters and they all had/are having babies during the same month almost. As I have mentioned, Oscar's sister had her baby last week. On February 26, 2008 Sebastian Ezekiel Hernandez (not sure on the spelling yet) was born to my cousin Vanessa (Rino's sister). This is his first time being an uncle and I'm excited to let him into the club. My sister Eliza is due really soon, and this is her moment, we are all so happy for her. Tori will be a good big sister. It is like kids come in waves.

Abram has got his law school applications in. Now it is just a matter of time and waiting. Hopefully he will hear back soon and get to take on that new task. He isn't working right now which does make me feel somewhat jealous, but I remember how it felt post bar exam when I had no job and spent a lot of time at home with no money, it wasn't as glamorous as I thought it would be. All I know is no matter how it turns out, it will all be ok. It is a great spot to be in when the entire world is yours to do with it as you please. That kind of freedom is rare in life. I tried to tell it to a homeless man and well his response made me understand that isn't always true.

Giving Abram advice in applying to law school has reminded me that it is time for my nephew to get his college applications done along with his FAFSA paperwork. I remember being in his position and having no clue what I had to do and when it was due. It was all foreign to me. I really don't think I would of hit any of my deadlines if it weren't for the fact that I had friends that were so on top of things that I just piggybacked on what they were doing. It is cumbersome, trying to figure out financial aid and fill out those long apps and the fees. It is like doing your taxes, you want to put it off until you have to do it. So I've always been the one in my family who never stops nagging about going to college, but it is easy for me to say that when I didn't have the responsibilities that others have. So right now I know my advice or pushing won't do much to help him out since well it's been tuned out by now. I hope others might step up and be a resource for him. Ironically, I'll be paying off college for a long time, so 20 years from now we will have to see if the investment was actually profitable. The experience alone sure was.



[Updated Note: I actually looked into it and he is well on top of the topics I will discuss, but it doesn't change my reasoning, just makes me happy that I wrong.] All I want for him is to apply to UT, Texas State, (any other school his heart might desire), Pan Am and STCC. You get your responses back and then you make your decision. But then the argument is, "well I won't get into UT so why apply? I don't want to leave home so why waste time, money and energy applying to Texas State or anywhere else? I want to stay home, and I can apply to Pan Am or STCC any time, I just want to enjoy my Senior year. "


Very true, and it is your life and you should do what you want, not what others want for you and if you don't want it, then don't do it. The problem is that I feel the not wanting it might come from the fear of thinking it may not be possible and people hate to fail. So if you apply and get rejected and don't get to go because they wouldn't take you, well that is so much more hurtful to the ego than, "oh yeah, I could of gone, but I just decided I didn't want to." So even if staying home is what you know you want, then what does it hurt to apply and then if you are accepted to say, "no thanks, I'm good here." Now that decision I can respect and support, but not trying because you think you know what you want and taking the path of least resistance, that I'm not happy with for anyone. It of course doesn't matter what I think, but as someone that cares, I still get to share my opinion.


I get it, I really do, home is nice, family is nice, why leave your friends, your high school love, your band, when you have everything you want right here. You've seen it work out for others, to go to STCC, graduate and get good jobs, you'll just do that. Really, I'm all for that, but my guess is that the STCC application isn't in yet either, nor the FAFSA, so even though you may feel like it is all a given and you have a plan, you still have to act and take on those responsibilities. No one else will do it for you, this is all on you now, its your life and we will let you sink or swim on your own decisions. I really do hope I am wrong.


I can't stop harping on this, wow. I still feel that it doesn't hurt to send in those apps and finalize your plans for what you want to do now. There are deadlines, try looking them up. Ideally, I think he would be happy at Pan Am and it would be a great experience and opportunity for him. What I worry about is the "taking a semester off" problem college kids get into. "Oh I waited too long, I'll just apply in the spring." "Well now I'm working, I don't have time, I'll do it later." Before you know it, you either have only a few classes under your belt or none at all and the task seems that much more daunting. 4 years will pass, and after them you will either have a degree or you won't, but they will still pass the same.

Now am I just butting in here? I mean you can only live your own life and let others make their own decisions, but I just feel like sharing advice and not giving demands is fair. What worries me is that if someone told me I had to do something, I wouldn't want to do it. How do you make someone want something? Especially when you know they might be holding back because of a fear they don't even really recognize. Speeches don't change anything, and I've done my share...leading by example hasn't been the best in my case either. You are about to be thrown out into a pack of wolves and though your family will be able to help you in the short run, you are now your own person. I have no doubt in the end there will be success, but I want the road there to not be more difficult than it has to be.



In non college related news: I need to go back to the doctor to find out if my cholesterol has gotten better. It is just a blood test, but I figure I'll try to keep delaying it because the longer I have the better it can get and well I'm not a fan of the whole needle in my arm taking out the blood thing. This is silly, I shouldn't be dealing with this kind of crap. Genetics are one thing, but this was something that I take responsiblity for. I can either beat myself up about it or do something to make it better. The weird thing, that unlike weight, I don't notice anything having to do with cholesterol. I just have to trust that the doctor is right. Yeah one day I'll know when my heart goes into attack (Jorge is the right medical term?), but for now I'll try to do what I can.

I finally got the invitation to Jorge and Michelle's wedding. It was cute. Instead of a picture of them or some fancy card, it was a prescription slip for medication, but instead had all the information for the wedding. It was clever and really shows how proud she is of her doctor fiance. I felt great to see that they addressed it to Mar tin Ala niz, Esq., but then I remembered when Jorge asked me for my address I wrote that to be a show off, so it was actually me addressing it to myself that way. It didn't feel as cool afterwards.

My friend Angie from Virginia just finished taking the Bar Exam. I wish her the best of luck now that she has to wait until she gets her results. I'm sure she did great, but a funny moment was when she texted me a day before the exam to tell me she wasn't going to take it. Then I found out she was just making fun of me because that is what I had decided before my friends and family helped me get over that fear and just take it. I hope Bob and her come visit soon, they should really check Texas out.

those are my last thoughts before I go to bed

Fouetté

"Surrounded by people who love life, you love it too; surrounded by people who don't, you don't." -Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

There is about a week until the Texas primary. I really enjoyed the debate last week in Austin. I didn't watch it as closely as others, but I was proud to see an actual debate where two people discussed issues and actually debated instead of just giving short speeches or sound bites. I think there is one more this week. Pretty much this is Hillary's last stand and after Tuesday if she can't win Texas and Ohio by decent margins, I'm going to put both legs in the Obama camp even though I can see that that Republican Slime Machine is quickly getting in gear.

Friday after work I went to Houston to attend a high school girls dance competition with Erika. Her girls were performing and it is always great when a person shares with you something they love and what they do. The drive to Houston wasn't too bad, but her flight was delayed so took the time to stop at a truck stop, stretch and later to familiarize myself with the airport. Once she arrived, we headed for the airport and I proud of my ability to get there with such ease, with help of course.

The following morning we arrived at the school at 7am for the dance competition. For not being a morning person I think I got up pretty easily. It was huge, both the school and the competition. I think there were at least 2000 contestants and over 850 routines. I could go through all the dances I saw, from solos, modern, military and hip hop, but I learned a lot during that time, though I did have to ask a lot of questions. It is interesting how what I see is so much different than what a person who knows the intracacies of dance sees. I don't know what is difficult, it all looks difficult to me and some people do things and make them look so easy. The school did great and the competition was impressive. We finally got out of there at 11:30pm tired, but happy for all their hard work paying off. They got a lot of trophies. I just got to see one day, one snap shot, I didn't see all the hard work, late nights and countless hours that went into every routine. I do admit, I was clueless a lot of the time, but I made an honest effort. It was an experience.

Sunday morning it felt like the weekend just evaporated. I dropped Erika at the airport with my secret check-in trick in hand. Saying goodbye is always the part you don't want, but I still couldn't keep from feeling happy about the trip and chose to focus on that.

Here is one of the many things I learned:

A fouetté rond de jambe en tournant is an action where the dancer stands momentarily on flat foot with the supporting knee bent as the other "working" leg is whipped around to the side, creating the impetus to spin one turn. The working leg is then pulled in to touch the supporting knee as the dancer rises up en pointe on the supporting foot. The ability to consecutively perform 32 of these turns is considered a bravura step by the ballerina, emphasizing her strength, stamina, and technique.

My drive home wasn't too exciting. I watched Meet the Press on my cell phone because I was interested in Nader running. Jorge was excited about that. Once I made it home, I just crashed out. Luckily I was woken up in time to watch the Oscars. I swear, I only watched because of Jon Stewart, but I found out that there are a lot of good movies out there that I have not seen.

I finally cleaned my room and did some laundry. It was a terrible mess with hardly any walking room. I really do feel that at times my room is reflective of my emotional state.At least it looks somewhat decent. Here is the real problem, if you put your head in the sand you can ignore things until someone comes and kicks your ass and tells you that you need to make a change. That might explain my shopping bag filled with unopened letters. My desk has been messy too but that doesn't bother me as much. Check out this article: Is a Messier Desk Better?

Abram is finally moved in. It was a pretty seamless move, like a person setting up a tent they have set up and closed down many times before. He is actually making use of my home gym, so I hope that motivates me as well. I hope things work for him.

The dogs are getting along pretty well and I'm sure Max loves the company. Koki and Mia don't seem too happy, but are glad there is a glass door protecting them. So many animals, poor Oscar. At least most are outside. He is a good man I will tell you that.

Original Article Cite "Countdown" Keith Olbermann presented an impressively detailed timeline he called "The Nexus of Politics and Terror," in which he chronicled the Bush administration's exploitation of terror threats for political gain.

The clip is 17 minutes long and entirely worth it, and its conclusion — "what we were told about terror, and not told, for security reasons, has overlapped considerably with what we were told about terror, and not told, for political reasons" — is a dutiful summary of the past six years.

Now for a funny video: (Mom don't watch).

Jimmy Kimmel: "I'm Fucking Ben Affleck" Debuts As Response To Damon

giving makes you feel pretty darn good, what about when no one knows?

With Purpose

"We awaken in others the same attitude of mind we hold toward them." -Elbert Hubbard

I was talking to a friend the other day about the consequences of having a blog which can be publicly tracked back to you with a simple google search. I know my name brings it up, but there shouldn't be people out there looking me up and if there is, well it doesn't bother me unless it affects my professional life. It may be public and out there for anyone to read, but it also has a semi private nature when you know that only the people that read know you or want to know about you and how things are going. Others might be doing random searches finding your page and that is fine too. Then you find out there are more issues. How about a prospective or current employer? Someone you meet? There could be consequences in being too open and too honest. Not to mention libel issues if you happen to be upset on a certain day. I take solace in my low readership that these won't be problems I'll have to soon deal with. It is always hard trying to know where that line is. A public journal is just that, public but a journal for me when I look back.




I'm starting to get tired of the election coverage. I'm just starting to burn out. This is a bad time considering it is getting closer for the time for me to vote. I know I talk about my vote like it is the most important thing, and though important, I know that it is just one. I still like have opinions and trying to make the best decision I can. I feel like each time I hear a stump speech I have heard it before, each time I hear a pundit make an argument, I've heard it before. I always try to look for bias in the words they use and the way they say things. Thursday is the democratic debate, and I wasn't selected to get a ticket, so I'll be at home watching it. Maybe that will spark up my interest again. Maybe it is good that I'm starting to follow less closely, it does give me added stress in something I have no true control over. Just because you root for your team doesn't mean that you are opposed to firing players and hiring new coaches. Doesn't make you less of a fan to know the ones you have just suck and are bring everyone down.

Here is a story I thought was interesting: Keith Olbermann slammed Bill O'Reilly for saying on his radio show, "I don't want to go on a lynching party against Michelle Obama unless there's evidence."

Wednesday I got an email from my friend Jorge. At what point will he be my college friend Jorge rather than just Jorge. So this new doctor friend of mine is getting married to his college sweetheart Michele in the fall in California. This is how he phrased his question to me, "would you guys be willing/interested in being groom's bitches at my wedding?...if you don't think there is a really strong chance that you will attend, ... no worries, i'll get other grooms bitches." There was a lot a lot of love in there despite the bitches part. I was hoping Juan Carlos would quickly reply, "YES! Jorge, you had me at bitch." But though I know in his heart he felt it, that was not his reply, instead it was a regular yes if Marty and Herbert do it. This would be the first time I've ever a Grooms Man. I have no clue what one does or any of that stuff. I guess I'll find out. Wow a wedding.

Speaking of weddings, check out this video, Woman Rejects Very Public Wedding Proposal.

Why would anyone do something like that? I'm talking about proposing in public, I mean you kind of put the other person in a tough spot. What is more respectable, to say yes and then no off the court to save his reputation, or say no so that he doesn't have those 2 mins where he thinks you actually want to spend the rest of your life with him? I still don't know how I'd propose. Maybe she should of said, I need some time to think about it. That is a good way to say no because that is what it means. I feel a little guilty posting this, I mean if you are that guy, it must really hurt and to add this to it. There must be a lot of these out there though, a very lot its seems.

I am the same person who graduated from high school in 1998. I've grown, matured and a lot of things about me are different, but at the core, I hold a lot of the same values and judgments. I'm a hell of a lot wiser, but am probably still an idiot compared to 40 year old Marty who will wonder what I was doing at this age. So many times in my life I've been told, "you're different now." Usually in a way that rejects the former me while accepting the current me. For example, when I was in FL I was told I was different from the DC me and in DC was told by someone else I was different from the FL me. Now, I was the same person, yes there were changes I made in my life, attitude differences and approaches to life, but no huge fundamental religious conversation type of changes. So a person that accepts the FL me, but not the DC me, makes me really wonder if they are truly accepting me. Doesn't it have an undercurrent of, well if you change then I'll no longer want to be with you because you will no longer meet my current expectations of the you I care about. Isn't the whole thing supposed to be finding a person that loves the fundamental you. The you under it all, the you that drives the trying to be a better person. So for better or worse, there should be no conditions. It is just worries me that during hard times, I'll be told, "you are not the person I met at "insert point of time here" and I don't even know you anymore." I have been lucky enough in my life to meet people that truly do care about me no matter what I may be dealing with or if I'm harder to deal with than other times, but life is complex and this isn't the one all solve all solution to everything. I'm happy with the person I am right now, but I'm still working on trying to learn more things, be better to people, be more understanding, get stronger, both in mental and physical senses. There is only one me.



Wednesday night Abram and I went over to Rino's place to hang out. We were all back together. We had a few drinks and talked about the usual things. We ended up staying a little longer than I had planned, but it is cool when spending time with family feels the same as spending time with friends. I'm usually a homebody that doesn't venture out on weekdays much, so I was proud of myself to choose socializing rather than resting at home.

time to start rounding

Doll

"We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.” - Charles R Swindoll

Saturday after work I drove down to the Valley to visit Erika Silva. There were many highlights of the weekend that went by too fast, but one I think you will find curious is what happened on Sunday. I had missed my sister Eliza's baby shower last weekend and in order to make up for it, decided to go to a BabysRUs store to buy her a gift. I figured I'd buy it for her and I'd drop it off with my mom on the way home. As we walk into the store, I swear I did not see them standing right in front of me, but Erika quickly noticed Eliza, Gil and Tori shopping not two feet away. I think Eliza and I both took a double take. I fessed up and told Eliza my plan and decided to go looking for a present with Tori and Erika's help. I'm sure the surprise of seeing me was better than the surprise of getting a present, well it was a good present so I'm not sure. Well I find the present I probably would of gotten her under my previous plan, but instead of paying for it like I would have done, I took Erika's advice and went to ask Eliza if she liked it. Incidentally, she was not too fond of it. (Electronics are more my thing I guess.) I really appreciated her candor because I'd rather a person be honest than nice. I end up buying her another gift she did like and approve of and delivery was free since they were right there shopping with us. That was a pretty cool coincidence.




The rest of my trip I want to talk about more, but I'm always better off keeping personal things personal. It was a very good trip and I am very happy I went. I was able to visit with my mom before I drove back and the drive home wasn't too exciting, but it felt nice to get out of the car and sleep. I wish I had three day weekends.



So Abram quit his job in Ft. Worth. He moved to Austin today to move in with me. That was a quick change, but he seems very happy and confident about it. I've moved around so much in the past few years it is ridiculous. I remember as a kid I would hear people talk about, oh at my old house and my new house and I always felt like I was being cheated because I only had one house my whole life. Now after living in 13 different places in the past 10 years, #14 makes me feel like maybe I was wrong as a child. To be fair, a some of those were dorms. Abram has live in quite a few places in the past 2 years.




Abram packed all his stuff up in his truck and I was pretty impressed with the tetris job he was able to pull. Uhaul wouldn't let him rent a trailer because his blinkers didn't work, but of course once he gets on the road they start working fine. He got as much as he could in his truck, with the inside packed to the max including two dogs. He did leave stuff behind, but he will probably go back and make another trip. We unpack and he got set up. It wasn't too bad, but nothing he had was extremely heavy.



Monica (Oscar's sister) had her baby girl last night. I don't know the exact time, but Oscar called to tell me. I was so excited to hear the news. Eliza and Vanessa are next. That is all the details I have right now.



So I had been rocking the running on the treadmill thing (very liberal use of the word rocking since I only ran for a week), but I decided to give outside a try. I took Max for a run and hoping I could tire him out I ran him as fast as I could, but that ball of energy just won't stop. He won the race and I ended up just walking him home. It did feel good to be outside. Think I need to go back to training.




Here is a funny video of a comedian a friend sent me. I think his name is Eric Shay.

10 newspapers please

Five Years Gone By

Veronica Alaniz Castro

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.” - Eskimo Proverb

Dear Sister,

Vero, it has been 5 years now since you left us and for me sometimes it feels like it still isn't real. A lot has happened over these years and I'm sure you have been not only keeping up, but a guardian angel for all of us you loved. This won't be a long letter, but one to let you know that I still think about you everyday, especially today. What scares me the most is that I'm not ready to lose another person I love considering how hard losing you has been. To think I might have to go through this many times through my life is scary at times. Grandpa is going to pass away soon. I don't say that because I have given up faith, but because of the condition he is in and his age. He was so close to 100, but he has lived a good, long and strong life. He can't talk to us anymore, but I had with him, what I did not have with you, a chance to say goodbye. A chance to wish him peace and find my peace. Let him know how much I love him and will miss him. I know that during your life you had to deal with the normal things I'm probably going through now. Bekkah is probably going through those types of teenage experiences now, and I'm sure you are giving her strength. She has your determination and people skills, so I try not to worry. Jamie doesn't know how much she is like you. You know I've still never been by the site of the accident. I just can't, it doesn't change anything that has already happened. I'm sure I don't want to go. You could visit me more in my dreams, but then again, maybe you can blame me for that huh? I'm trying to make you proud, trying to look out for our family like you did, but some days are harder than others. I hope you enjoyed the time with Eliza's little girl before she comes into our lives, another great blessing. Remember when you lent me your car to drive to a school dance. I had just got my license and did not know how to drive well and you still looked out for me and helped me out in any way you could. Thanks for being a great sister like that. It was a lesson I took to heart. Until my next prayer to God where I interupt my conversation to tell you about how things are going. (I'm sure He understands.) I miss you Veronica.

Love,

Your Brother

we would of been greater friends as we grew older

Gulf Coast Marty

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." -Joseph Campbell

I am really rocking this running thing. I'm not going to say I am awesome, but you can feel free to say so. I hurt, all over, but trust that it will go away soon. All those hours I spent watching news (or as what some people say if boring political news) and now I'm actually doing something productive during that time and getting my news too. I may not be at South Beach Marty levels of motivation, but Gulf Coast Marty is going to make a run at it.

My friends have stopped blogging. I need something to read. I know you are busy, but you need to know your readers are being neglected. Short two sentence entries are enough, just to give me reason to visit. I might have to start reading one of those famous blogs, but they have enough readers I think.

My sister Ana has been working on an Ad for the Sunday paper for my sister Vero's 5 year anniversary from passing away. From the proofs I have seen, I really like it. So if you get the Monitor, you should check it out. It has been a long time.

The plans are in the works for Abram to move down to Austin. We are finalizing the details right now. He knows that you can't truly go home again, so the life he had in San Marcos won't be the same, but I think the new one he starts in Austin will suit him, or at the least be a great transition for him before he takes off to his next destination. I really did like my workout room, but I'm sure the rent going to Oscar for that room is a much better deal.

I'm really excited that the Writer's Strike is over. I saw the Daily Show last night and it was nice to see that things are back to normal. I guess now we will see what shows come back. I'm still very pro labor and wish that the day of the labor union could return. The topic is so complex though that I'll stay away from the pros and cons / challenges and realities.

The other night I talked to Mark. I called him up to see how he voted in VA. After I told him how I couldn't believe that Angie told me she would consider voting for McCain over Obama if it came down to that. My argument was that Obama and Clinton have very similar policy objectives and philosophies, so it would be inconsistent to vote for Obama in one case and McCain in another. Well I got into this debate with Mark, who hypothetically said there could be a rationale, but I think we talked about it in the context of Clinton winning I think. He made some very good arguments, but in the end I still feel the same way. The thing is, it wasn't so far off for Angie to think that way, so it just shows that sometimes you might think someone is so far off, but you are the one who isn't seeing the whole picture.

March 4th baby, I can't wait. I'll tell you, I feel conflicted on who to vote for. It is like choosing between great and super. Demographically, as a post-graduate Latino young male, my demographic tends to lean toward Clinton. (although Oscar is in Obama's camp.) The fact I'm male puts me in the toss up category, and the fact that the working class is supporting Clinton in higher numbers puts me in her camp since Obama is cleaning up with people making over 100,000 a year. None of these should be factors in my decision and they are not, but they play a role in the fact that I don't want to be a stereotype demographic one, and two I don't want to rebel and vote the opposite so that I won't be catgorized. Honestly, all these breakdowns are arbitrary and don't take into account so many factors, you just can't group people like this even though when you do, you get numbers from it. I focus on the issues and I don't see much difference no matter how they try to distingish their health care plans or the being right on Iraq from the beginning. Personality wise, I like both as well, and I don't know if I feel more inspired by change than by someone I feel has a bit more brut force. If Obama wins (and it is looking like it right now) I would like to shake his hand and tell him, "Please be for real, America really needs this, needs you." If Hillary won, I'd want to tell her, "Go for it all instead of playing it safe to get four more years, even if it means going down in a blaze of glory." They will each make amazing presidents I think. I can see a Hillary Obama ticket, but not an Obama Hillary ticket, which makes me wonder who the VP would be in that case. Edwards? I like him.

I learned today that your thyroid affects things like your hair growth and the length and thickness of your nails. I just always thought some people have thick nails and others have thinner nails, but I never thought it could be a side effect of that part of your body. I'm ok with my nails and don't worry about my hair growing too slow or too fast. As I have been learning all this anatomony info, it really makes me wonder how Jorge and Juan do it with all their medical stuff. A college bio class would be hard for me, much less medical school. But then again, I do believe if I put my mind to it I could do it, I just wouldn't be as good as the people that have a passion for it.

will you be mine?

A Start

"I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” - Michael Jordan

On Monday I got home and decided to play with Max for a while. He still need a lot of work and more attention than he currently gets. He is so high energy. Then I came inside and decided to go for a run. Actually for a walk while I watched Hardball, but I started to run. I did a good job and then did a bit of lifting. After, I took a shower, had a good dinner with a beer (better than a Coke) and felt great after. This is a routine I would really like to have. I am feeling it this morning, but it is something I know I deserve.



I was watching October Road Monday night and thought it was cool that the characters are from the class of 98. Makes me feel like I can really connect with them. I still like the show and now that the writer's strike is almost over, I hope to catch it more often. I was trying to decide what kind of guy am I, Hanna or Aubrey? Now I'm trying to go more personality wise than just attractiveness but I'm sure it played a role. The winner is Aubrey. Even though Nick and Hanna were the perfect couple, they are just different people now. The Aubrey character is smart, confident and well in the context of the story, isn't about to get married.

I've also started watching that Terminator Fox show. I really thought I would have no interest in it, but so far I'm hooked. Maybe it is because the girl from Serenity is in it. More on the TV topic, Lost is back, so I'm excited to see that, but I just don't feel as much invested as I used to, but I watch the show just the same.


I wish people were more upset about the torture issue than they seem to be. The fact that we executed people in WWII for waterboarding our soliders, but will not say whether it is illegal when we do it is clearly a way of the administration protecting themselves. You know, I'll let Jon Stewart explain it, he is good at this kind of stuff.

Here is some politics from some of my favorite girls:

On who they're voting for:
Scarlett:"I will continue stumping for [Barack] Obama until he's elected. The past eight years have been painful for a lot of people. We're in a state of emergency."
Natalie:"I met with about 10 representatives... and Hillary [Clinton] was by far the sharpest. Did you read Gloria Steinem's op-ed piece?" Natalie asks, citing Steinem's January 8 column about the presidential hopeful in the New York Times. "Hillary's just so experienced."

How does this logic work? So imagine if you have a terrible diet and you change to a bad diet. Now if you told someone about your bad diet, they would probably tell you, "dude, that is a bad diet." Now as long as you can prove that it is better than your default, "terrible diet," then isn't it at least a small step to move to a bad diet and try to make that your default before you try to move up to a normal/good diet? Maybe it is like smoking half a pack instead of a full pack of cigarettes a day. Is it half as bad? Half a pack and kill you anyway, so why not just smoke the whole pack? I guess it depends on what the difference is as far as the effect it makes.

One foot in or both feet in?

Good Hearted People

"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” - Paul Boese

I had a discussion with a friend about the idea of surrounding yourself with good people. If you are around happy, goal driven, good hearted people; their traits help motivate yours and you end up not only a better person, but one that enjoys their time with friends much more. But if you surround yourself with depressed, irresponsible, selfish, complaining, anti-social people, those feelings and apathy start to rub off on you and not only bring you down, but make you not enjoy your time with them as much. I feel I have been very lucky in my life, my friends have all helped me make me the person I am today. From wanting to be the best I learned from Rick, to the good natured humbleness I got from Juan. I could go on listing friends and qualities, but I'll save those for their weddings or such occasions.

Now there are times friends are going through a rough patch and I think it is important that you to be there for them and help them out as much as you can, but there is a point when you can't let them pull you into their spiral of unhappiness. Now all these things I think I people agree with and isn't new news, but then recently, my friend, who does have reason to be upset with me, told me that I was one of those people that are in the group I mentioned that you should stay away from. Having been told by another person once that I was toxic, I decided to pay attention. Now I know who I am, and I know I'm a good person who cares about others and who quite frankly has more to give than to take. My self image isn't going to be based on what a few people think of me, nor what so many others who think the exact opposite. My self image is just that, from my myself. You still can't turn around and ignore such an accusation or just defend yourself, because maybe there is a lesson in it. I was told that I was selfish, irresponsible (financially) and not willing to try new things. She did make good points and there are many examples of each of those qualities that I exhibited when it came to her. My self defense mechanism wants to say that my positive qualities outweigh, but the fact is that I can be all those things....I mean for sure I'm financially irresponsible. It was ok when it was just me paying the price, but when others are involved, then that is the definition of someone to stay clear of. I'm doing all to protect others from coming down with me and know that my word is my bond and it means everything. I don't make promises I don't keep.

So even though these words may have came from anger and I feel were not truly their full impression of me, it does make me take inventory of who I am, where I'm going and what I want. Despite all this, I think Marty is pretty fucking awesome, but I can't help that, I mean I've just known him longer than anyone else. Each day I learn something new.

Here is some politics:

"I can understand why President Clinton wants to campaign hard for his wife," Mr. Bush said. "And you know, these accusations that Bill Clinton is a racist I think is just wrong. I just don't agree with it."

Isn't this similar to saying, "All those people calling President Bush a child molestor, well that I think is just wrong."

My point is, defending a person in that way is more of an attack on them than a helpful sign of support. I mean Bush has been called many things, from a dictator to a war criminal, a constitutional law breaker, and many other things (some which I agree), but saying you don't agree with those claims is similar to a backhanded compliment.

Did mention I'm now registered to vote in Texas. I just got my registration card, so I'm good to go. I really need to get up to date with local races here.

Here is a statement I agree with in regard to David Shuster's now-infamous "pimped out" comment and his subsequent suspension from NBC News.

Today, Barbara returned with a comment on Shuster's suspension and, specifically, the letter Hillary Clinton sent over the weekend to NBC News President Steve Capus:
"It was as if she was advocating more than just his being suspended. Perhaps I feel this because of the years, and all of you, we are live, and sometimes you say something unfortunate. You apologize, he's getting suspended, he apologized, MSNBC apologized. Drop it already! It's OK. He made a mistake."

Here is an Obama Video you should see: I'm leaning Clinton's way right now, but this is beautiful.

McCain: Like Hope But Different (a parody on the Video Above)

I would do the same for you

My Own UFO

“Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering." - R. Buckminster Fuller

I got a call from Abram on Sunday night. He is thinking of moving to Austin. The timing is great because Rino and I are in the process of looking for a place for May 1st. There are some complications, like what happens if he gets into law school, but I'm sure we will figure all that out when the time comes.


Saturday night and Sunday I moved all my exercise equipment up into Danny's old room. (formerly the Marty Media room.) See if I just keep moving it up and down the stairs, it is just like a workout, so my constant moving of stuff does make up for my lack of using it to its full extent.


Recently there were some UFO sightings in Texas I saw on the news. Now I don't want to get all Dennis Kucinich on you, but when I was a young boy I saw what was to me a UFO. I make no claims to what it actually was, but I was sure that it was not an airplane, star or weather balloon. I would lay outside at night staring at the stars and watching airplanes fly by. I had always hoped to catch a falling star, (like see it, not literally catch). One night I was looking in the sky at Orion (at the time I didn't know it was Orion, I used to call it my football goal post.) I then saw a light that I thought was a star. Then I noticed it was moving. So I thought, it it must be a plane. But then I noticed that it would move up down left and right almost like someone was facing a flash light to the sky and waving it randomly. Then it would stop. I didn't know what it was, but it was clearly something I had never seen before and for me at least it would be considered unidentified. Knowing that no one would believe me because I was a kid and I know all UFO sighting people were wackos, I ran inside and grabbed our VHS recorder. I wanted evidence so that people would know what I was talking about. I grabbed a random video, popped it in and went outside. I started to record the "moving star" for at least a few minutes. I was worried it would not show up on the TV so I ran inside put the video into the VHS and watched it on my TV. You could see exactly what I was talking about. I was so proud of myself. There was no one to show, but I might have shown the video to my siblings. I didn't think much of it and knowing I had the video may be feel more secure in telling my story and having my evidence. Now here is the part that follows all UFO sighting trends, the lack of evidence part. The tape sat with many tapes we had and over time I just forgot about it as the years went by. The tape wasn't labeled and probably had other random stuff on it. I mean I wasn't sure what it was and it wasn't so impressive as to think people would be wowed by it to actually do much with it. So now I don't know where that VHS is. (I know, a likely story.) It might be in storage somewhere and one day I plan to go back and watch all our old videos to maybe find it. It sucks that it might have been thrown out when my mom moved houses. Well, I don't talk about it too much because I just figured it was something like a plane, but now I've seen videos that looked exactly like mine. Here is one from London in 1990. Not very exciting if you watch it, my was so much better, there was more swishing back and forth and it was dark at night. But I'm glad I'm not the only person that saw a strange moving light. In the end, that is why I say I saw a UFO, but I make no claims to it being from outer space. Though I do find it interesting is that this video below was close to the time (like decade) when I made my recording. Man this article would be so much cooler if I actually had my video.

Driven

More Changes

"What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.” - Unknown

Thursday I went home after work and took a nap while watching the news. I remembered I had plans with Oscar and Danny, so I woke up and went over to Danny's apartment. I had yet to visit it. It is a nice place, the main benefit being the location, he can just take a cab to go out and not have to worry about how drinking and driving could be an issue. We watched TV for a while and then went to a bar. Mainly we just shot the shit with all my random question scenerios of, what would you do if? You put someone in a bad situation and see what their instinct would be to deal with it. Interesting how different people would react different ways. I got home pretty late on a week night and I started to feel bad for thinking 11:30pm was late.

I've been saying this for a while. Study: Sad People Spend More

Someone once told me, "You seemed so carefree." It reminded me of a time when I was told, "you were different then." It is easy to be carefree if you don't think about the future or the past and just live in the moment, but not thinking about the future makes you directionless. I do conceed that obsessing about it makes the present miserable too. I like to be in the know. I would rather see the punch coming, than be happily walking along as I'm knocked off my ass and before I figure out what has happened, I'm having to get back up. I've also been told to just chill out. To be honest, I do feel more carefree right now, but I think I can find a good balance of both. Yeah I'm a bit confused too.

Friday I went to the court to make some copies. I was proud of myself for finding that brief, now I have to read it and see if it is at all helpful.

After I went to hang out with Rino at his place and we played some online poker. I bubbled on both tourneys, not so much because I haven't played in months, but because I kept lose connection every 15 seconds. I think it is the wireless on my laptop, but I don't know what to do to fix it.

Saturday I slept in and watched some recorded tv. Oscar has some guys come in and shampoo the carpets in the house. They were pretty quick. I was wondering how big their machine would be, but the machine was literally the VAN they came in. Just one big super vac and a very very long hose that they used up and downstairs to clean the carpets. I've never seen this before so humor my amazement. The carpets are all wet now and I'm waiting for them to dry.

Saturday is also Danny's housewarming party. It looks to be pretty fun.

Oh I got my voter registration card. I'm going to get to vote in the Texas primary. I'm looking forward to it.

"What I did was unintentional, what you did was deliberate." - from a tv show in response to wife saying she cheated on him because he was too distant from the family.

Kites and Carousels

"Because you lie beside me now, I dream of kites and carousels.
And sleep at peace within myself.
And fear the night no more." - Robert Sexton

Work is starting to pick up, which is a very good thing. I look forward to all the projects to work on. There is a good feeling you get when you are being productive. Other than that, not much news on the working front.

Romney dropped out of the race I hear. I'm interested to see how the conservative Republicans embrace McCain. (Mac is my favorite Republican, but I'd never vote for him due to his war stance.) Now hopefully the Democrats can get their candidate selected so that a national race can start.

I don't know why but I have been following the news of the death of Heath Ledger. I know about a lot of drugs on that list, I wonder what made them mix to cause death. A lot of those drugs are very common, yet they make it sound like they must be bad in some way. I wonder if there is a way to find out how much of each drug he took and what interaction made him sick. "Combined effects" just worries me and if I had to take one of those drugs I would wonder what combined effects it could have. I hear his role as the Joker is going to be amazing, I do look forward to seeing it.

"In a statement Ellen Borakave, spokesperson for Office of Chief Medical Examiner, confirms:
"Mr. Heath Ledger died as the result of acute intoxication by the combined effects of oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam and doxylamine. We have concluded that the manner of death is accident, resulting from the abuse of prescription medications."

TMZ reports : The NYPD found five different medications in Ledger's apartment after his death, including anti-anxiety medications Alprazolam (Xanax), Diazepam (Valium) and Lorazepam (Ativan). The sleeping medication Zopiclone (Lunesta) and the sedative Temazepam (Restoril) -- which is used by people with "debilitating insomnia" -- were also found. "

When I first moved to DC, I lived in Arlington, VA. Each morning when I would walk to work I would pass the Newseum. I didn't know that it was closing and decided I'd wait until later to check it out. Then I find out it closed and was going to be moved. I felt like I missed out on an opportunity. Then today I read this article that made me remember that: Washington Journalism "Newseum" Sets Opening Date And Steep Ticket Price:
"The previous incarnation of the Newseum, which was in Arlington, Va., and closed in 2002, was free. Officials at its parent organization, the Freedom Forum, decided to build a larger center closer to the Smithsonian museums on the National Mall. "

Well Maria is back to blogging. It is nice to have that to read again. I haven't seen anything from the Martian Cat Problem in a long time, so I'm hoping that blog returns soon too.

Where could I get a card like this?

I stole this from Abram's blog. It was pretty funny. A bit long, but good if you like Dane Cook.

Dane Cook: Would you Rather?

all we need

Bullies

"Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative." - Kurt Vonnegut

So I get home yesterday after work and decide to watch the Super Tuesday coverage. I thought I would be more excited since I follow politics on a daily basis, but some how I felt a bit bored. Almost like since we knew that there wouldn't be a winner on the democratic side, it was just watching to see who would have the small edge. At least that means the race moves on. It seems like McCain has his nomination all wrapped up even though a lot of conservatives seem pretty pissed about that.

On the way to work I pass an elementary school , a primary school (that is what the sign says) and a high school. It is during school zone time, so I have to slow down and make sure I don't get a ticket. There is a billboard in front of I think the Elementary school which said, "Help 'Nerds'. Blackout Bullies. Thursday wear black." My mind couldn't consider all the reasons that this is wrong because it just went into overload. First, I get the wear red for drug week and the stamp out drugs or whatever silly things schools do to foster community spirit. Here is my first problem, "Help Nerds." This infers that there are students at the school that are indeed Nerds. Now if you are a student who has been bullied you are now considered a "nerd." Is that any way to foster self esteem in a kid? I mean what if it was "Protect wimps or pussys" instead. I just feel that using the term "nerd" to describe any part of the school population BY THE SCHOOL is just inappropriate. Sure kids will call some nerds, others jocks etc, but it doesn't mean that the SCHOOL should adopt those stereotypes. Secondly, in defense of bullies, every act of aggression isn't always bullying. Sometimes it is legitimate self defense or retaliation for something someone has done to you. It isn't right, but it doesn't make you a bully if some one says your mom's a whore and you punch them in the face. Usually both would get in trouble, but the real issue here is "Kid on Kid" violence that the school is trying to stop I would think. I think it would be cool if that school made kids wear name tags either making them "nerds" or "bullies" so that the other kids could know who exactly they are helping and who they are "blacking out." This was such a waste of my thinking, but your mind wanders in the morning as you drive to work.

So I'm all excited, I finally got a working Centro, I was able to give my sister a working Centro and I have a Treo 755p I was planning to give to Abram. Now that I have had time to fully use the Centro I'm torn giving up the 755p. These battles I have with my mind, they make no sense. I had to do this update on it so that it would have the latest software. Centro is winning right now.

This is for Herbert who doesn't read my blog, but his irrational support of Ron Paul made me think of him when I saw this.

I want to believe, I really do

Super Tuesday

"We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." - Angelina Jolie

Today is Super Tuesday and I've never been so excited about a primary. Texas doesn't vote until March, so for me it is just a matter of watching the returns. I'm really interested in how it turns out and if it will affect the way I vote later. One day I'm for Hillary the next I'm inspired by Obama. As far as VP goes, Clinton/Obama would be amazing, but I don't think Obama would pick Clinton as his running mate. I worry Clinton would go with Richardson or Biden (both great guys, but not as exciting.) I guess I'd just sit back and watch the pundits do their thing.

I hope everyone voted.

The Brawl: Colbert (and Stewart) v. Conan. A must see. Without writers people can get really creative in finding ways to waste time, but this was amazing.

I will be honest here, I'm don't get really excited about other people's kids (or pets for that matter). I'm not indifferent per se, but I can't reach the level of joy excitement and wow that a parent feels for their child as they tell you some amazing achievement that makes their baby unique. "My baby is so smart he just did {insert action here}." I'm not mean or grumpy towards kids, and think I get along with them well enough. Right now there is a lot of baby excitement in the air. My sister Eliza is having a baby soon and Oscar's sister Monica is having a baby any day now. I'm actually very excited for both of them, in a way I didn't think I would be before. Maybe it was watching the process from finding out there was a baby, the preparation, the showers (fyi Eliza's is this weekend) and even things like name picking or the moment you find out the sex of the baby. I'm not as excited to be an uncle, because I'm already an uncle (and a great one btw that just hasn't had the chance to fully prove that yet), but more excited for my sister's joy of having a new child. Now I'm sure my awe will pass soon after and Eliza will have to deal with the day to day parenting things. So my point is, I kind of am starting to get it now.....kind of.

So during my hiatus, I had purchased a brand new Centro, but it ended up being a scam, well kind of. I ended up giving the phone to my sister Ana and she was able to get it to work. I'm so happy because it means that the phone won't become useless. That ends a long sequence of events in a good way.

When you look back on your life, you start to see things differently. Things you couldn't see years ago feel like they are getting clearer. You spend your life looking for the one. You have a list of characteristics you hope to find, but other than great learning experiences most options do end up effectively as dead ends. Then you meet a person, a person that has a good heart, always has a smile, is smart, attractive, fun, active, caring. Everything you could hope for. Then to top it all off, they care about you immensely and you know they would do anything for you. Then you hurt this person by not being their one. It is usually because you know there is something missing, either something you can't live up to or that intangible thing you are still looking for. Other times it is just you not completely happy with yourself yet. What were you supposed to do? It is this person you should remember when you feel like you can't find the one, because you are the one that chose being alone. You have no reason to feel sorry for yourself or lonely. We are not always the victim of love, but those are the memories that come to mind the most. I think it is an important lesson to learn.

Here is some feedback I got a from a friend that I really agree with and that really meant a lot to me: "though you didn't quite ask for this i'll tell you how i feel about the matter. it's pretty much true that he doesn't feel pain in the sense that we think of it as. it hurts the family seeing a patient basically deteriorate. i've seen sooo many people w/ sores, and wasted people who are hooked up to feeding tubes and IV's. if it were me i'd rather just someone pull my peg tube. sounded like he rebounded well last year, and now he's not really improving, he's just not dying as fast as people predict him to. it's shitty that people get sores and ulcers just b/c they're lying in bed all the time, and i would rather pull my parent's feeding tubes if they were in the situation you described. but sounds like the person that makes the calls wants god to do his thing, and yeah if she calls the shots there's not much that anyone can do. seeing all these really old people has made me want to draft a advanced directive myself, but of course i haven't done it. "

everyone was asking for you

That Really Was Super

"Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you." - Fran Lebowitz (1950 - ), Social Studies (1981)

Sunday was the Superbowl. I have to tell you, it was an an exciting game. There was no huge superbowl party for me this year. Too bad where I wanted to be wasn't an option. I had thought that my cousin was going to watch the game at his place, but I was torn between having food and friends or being at home comfy with my HD TV. Me wanting to have the best of both worlds, got a bright idea and quickly packed up my TVs cords and speakers in a backpack and I loaded the TV in my car. I called ahead and found out that I had misunderstood and that they were watching the game at a friends place. At this point I just said in response to what's up?, "oh yeah I'm just here at home hanging out." I turned back around, and reinstalled (I used that word because mine has a lot of cords) the TV to watch the game from home. Thank goodness for the dvr, but it doesn't work as well when you actually want to watch the commercials. My favorite quote I heard before the game was, "the Patriots can't have a perfect season and win the superbowl, that just isn't right, nobody should be able to do that." I too was cheering for the underdog. The end of the game was very exciting. I was texting away, going crazy in anticipation and fear. I was so happy to see them pull it out. Even though the score was off in number, Kieth Olbermann was exactly right about his prediction that the Giants would win. He claimed they would come back in the 4th quarter and Eli Manning would lead his team to win the game. He knows his sports. I respect my Cornell Alumn.

Here was the Play of the Game!

Oh I put that quote up today because I still enjoy getting phone calls. But I'm guessing once you are older you also get more calls you don't want to answer. I used to have my own phone line in my room, which I guess is equivalent to the iphones high school kids carry around with them now.

This weekend I took a last minute trip down to the Valley. Sometimes when you feel you are trying to be there for someone, you end up finding out that they ended up truly being there for you. It means so much to know my advice can be helpful. The lens through which you see the world dramatically changes how it affects you.


I don't know why people are not more upset over the price of gas. I sometimes feel like, well maybe I'm the only one that can't spend almost 50 bucks each time I fill up my car. I'm sure everyone is hurting, but what can we do? I can complain, but that doesn't do too much. I could drive less, which I try to do, but it is inevitable in life that you will need to drive, for work, for food, to visit friends. It is cheaper for me to fly to the valley than to drive. I used to be able to compare the price of driving to NYC from DC to taking the Bus, but flying, I mean really? As you can tell I need to fill up today and am not looking forward to it.


I saw some kids playing football when I was driving home last week and I had this irrestible urge to go and play with them. I just love playing football, but I don't get to play enough. Basketball you need two people, but football you need at least 4. I really love that game. I wish I played more informal games like that more often, but other than real football, I haven't played touch football since early college.

I just noticed that this year is a Leap Year. I think that is the coolest thing. I remember being little and finding out about leap years. I just didn't make sense, you add an extra day every four years, I mean I just had to trust it made it all work out. Also the idea of every 4 years seemed like an eternity, but maybe because at the time it was about the length of half my lifetime.

Groundhog day came and went. I hear we are going to get more winter. This year I didn't follow and would of forgotten about this day if not for a text message from Angie.

Super Tuesday is coming....I can't wait. I don't even know who to root for, but I'm excited.

it's what I don't know that scares me