Hard Chairs

Later in the day I made my way to the computer lab and I connected my laptop into the jack, but though I can get the internet to work, I can’t get aim to work. After a good half hour of reading news and checking to see who has written me, I decided to go and find some hangers. I ended up finding this dollar store where I got my much needed hangers. I returned home and not yet being completely better, I decided to nap…well that nap ended up being the end of my day.

Friday has finally come, the end of the first week. The plan is to attend class and then venture out to Madrid for the weekend. This is a bit spontaneous for me, so I’m sure it will end up being quite the story. In the morning, I was feeling a lot better, but there is still some residue of pain in my head. I thought my class would more empty, but I guess people are saving their 1st of 3 absences for other Fridays.

I have not been eating dinner. I have my breakfast bar in the morning, a 3 course lunch at 1:30 and then I have been falling asleep early and not eating dinner, but most people are eating late like at 10pm, so I guess that is good. Maybe I’ll eat dinner more in the weeks to come. Let me tell you about our lunches. We first start out with a piece of bread on the table. The bread is very hard on the outside, but the inside isn’t too bad. Then 15 mins after lunch should of started, we get some sort of soup or salad or pasta. It is always something similar to what I have eaten before, but still different. So far it has been edible and filling, but nothing amazing. There is wine with every meal, but I usually just drink water. Then we get our main course which is brought out on a central table and then served to the plates and brought to us. I’ve noticed that guys tend to get more food than the girls. Then we finish up with some sort of dessert which usually happens to be fruit. Either an orange, banana, or canned peaches. I’m still waiting for ice cream. That was a lot about the food.

One funny thing about this trip is that everyone I seem to meet reminds me of someone I have previously known in my life or someone from TV. I have a friend that reminds me of Maria, Iris, know a girl who reminds me of Kelly Clarkson and some people who I can’t place, but know that I know them from somewhere.

Our comparative professor made a funny joke today. He was talking about us not listening to him and how they told us places to avoid in El Escorial and like moths to a flame, a lot of us have already been there. There was a story about a kid who got into a fight with some locals and got his face bashed in and stabbed. Yet when they told us about the bar, it now became one of the places we knew, so it gave more reason to check it out I guess.

Classes are somewhat long, almost 2 hours each so pretty much 9-1pm. I have class in the same classroom, so I get no change of scenery, but some of the students do change, so that is good. The chairs are very hard, not cushy like the ones from home. I guess I could find a lot to complain about, but yeah, I’m not happy with the hard wooden chairs.

Rehab

"Rationalization may be defined as self-deception by reasoning." - Karen Horney

Let me finish on what happened on Tuesday. I made it through class and then went back to the hotel for lunch. We had fish for lunch. I don’t like fish, nor eat it much, but figured that I would try something new. It actually wasn’t too bad, except for the bones. I sat with a table of new people, but didn’t socialize too much because I was feeling like shit. I then went to my room to nap. I took some medication and slept. I woke up and took more med and slept some more. I was sick as a dog and honestly felt like I was locked in some small rehab room with no contact with the outside world going through detox. It was horrible and considering how thin the walls are, I’m sure my neighbors were not too happy with my blowing of my nose. I finally ran out of medicine and couldn’t sleep anymore at 5am so I just got up and took a shower and then read for class.

I showed up to the lab early and found out that Deep Throat came out. I sat through class where we were broken up into groups. We talked about regulating the internet and the debate was loud, but I stayed out of it because I wasn’t feeling well and it was just going in circles. It was hard for me to stay quiet, but I mumbled to those around me enough to get it out of my system. There is this girl in my class that I met early on who I thought was cool, but the more I hear her talk, the more I know she is really mean. She isn’t mean to me, but mean to other people and I tend to judge people based on how they treat others. She is condesending and and very full of herself. She is nice to me though, so I won't complain too much.

In Comparative, I started to feel sick again. I had ran out of medication, so I’m hoping to go to the pharmacy and try to buy something. It going to be hard because if I translate wrong, I might end up with cough medicine instead of cold medicine. My professor is a priest, so as I sit here, I pray that I might feel better, hoping that God will listen a little closer because a priest is near me. Seriously, this class is lasting forever. I feel like I am just staring at the clock watching minutes tick.

After class I rushed out and ran to the pharmacy. I tried to explain to the woman what was wrong and she sold me some medicine. I went upstairs and compared it to my multi-symptom Tylenol and most of the ingredients matched, so that was great. I took two and went to lunch. At lunch I met a new guy named Holt from Arkansas. He was a nice guy and actually reminded me of my friend Jerry from Texas. After lunch, I went and took a nap and then tried to get a poker game together. We didn’t get enough people, so we decided to do it another day. I brought poker chips and cards, you should never leave home without them. I then decided to go for a walk to the monastery and took some pictures. Look at me taking walks in the middle of the day. I returned home and took another sick nap. I woke up at 10pm when Bianca called to invite me to dinner. They reason we went so late is that places don’t open for dinner until 9pm here, or at least that’s what I hear.

I went with Bianca and Sarah to a Chinese restaurant. We ordered a meal for two and it easily fed three. I’m not too much of a Chinese fan, but the food was good and the place was very nice. The people working there were Chinese and worked very hard to learn Spanish, so its funny how a person like me who doesn’t speak Spanish too great is trying to talk to a waiter who also doesn’t speak Spanish well either even though our original languages are much different. After dinner, it was a little past midnight and I saw a group of students going out. I haven’t gone out since the first night, but I figure it’s more important that I get healthy right now.

6/2/05 the next day

I am having to deal with St. Thomas Fin Aid from Spain. This is hard considering the distance, the time difference and my not having easy phone nor internet access. They gave me too much money in my refund because they didn’t plan on my getting a single room in Spain, so now I owe them money before they will release my transcripts which I need for my applications. I hope to get that all taken care of soon.

I woke up on Wednesday feeling much better, but still clearly sick. I took some medicine and feel like I can beat this with one more day. One thing I have noticed is that I have not had too terrible of a time getting up in the morning. I’m one of those people that sleeps a lot, but here I have been able to get up in the morning and despite the health thing, have felt really awake. Now, I do admit it might have to do with the many naps I have taken and the fact I haven’t really been up late.

I ran into Sarah on my way to class and we get to the computer lab early, but the lab was not open, which sucks because it makes coming early to class useless. They finally opened it and I sent my St. Thomas emails out. I hate not having interent, have I mentioned that, well I will, and many times.

My Cyberlaw class, well I don’t have too to say about what happened today, just that my cyber class seems to deal mainly with porn. It is kind of funny how we talk about porn so much, but never really talk about porn. The class is interesting, but the same people talk too much, so I try to keep my mouth shut, but I don’t think I’m doing too good of a job at it.

My other class, Comparative, is hard to explain. I worry that I am not worried about this class. I am usually pretty tired in this class and all I can think about is what I’m going to get for lunch. Look at the thoughts that are in my mind, food…talk about focusing on the minute.

Lunch was a bit empty because a lot of people left on their weekend trips. Some friends I know left for Portugal. The food again was unqiue, but I ate it. After, I walked down with some friends to Burger King. It was a few miles away, and I didn't go to eat, but to find out where it was and shop at a supermarket. Well I get my water, but totally forget to get my hangers, so I still need to find those.

A well needed hiatus

Madrid

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes." --Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

It has been a while. Finals are over. I am now completely moved out of my apartment and am sitting in class in Spain drinking an orange fanta. Koki and Mia are staying with Fede and Frank (took over my lease) until I return a month from now. My truck is parked and waiting for me to take a 2-3 day road trip to Texas to work at the Edinburg court house. I have sent off a few transfer applications out, but all I can do is plan to be starting St. Thomas in the Fall.

I arrived at the airport in Miami and noticed my toothbrush was on, so now I can’t recharge it until I return. My flight was 9 hours long and I didn’t get much done. I saw the movie Ocean’s 12 again, but didn’t get much sleep. I arrived in Madrid early in the morning and there was a taxi driver holding a sign with my name. I love it when I get to an airport and there is a driver holding a sign for me. The first time this happened was when I was working in DC. So he drove me to Escorial 45 mins, and I practiced my broken Spanish. When I arrived, I was one of the first people at the hotel. I got a single, but the room was more like US motel standards. The bed is small, there is no internet, no cable tv, and other amenities I have so gotten used to.

I had lunch with my comparative law professor whom I randomly met outside. He is a priest, so I had a good conversation with him about his class about the separation of church and state. I then went to my room and slept. It wasn’t a good idea because I woke up at midnight all awake. I got dressed and decided to explore the town. I ran into a classmate and met like 6 new people. We drank, talked and then went to a disco. I lost at foosball to some Spanish girls. I finally went home and slept in.

On Sunday I walked around town getting a feel for where things were. I found the bus station, a supermarket and a sign for a burger king. Then in the afternoon we met up for a tour of the school and the city. I met a few more friends there who were students that didn’t go to my school. They were nice, but I don’t yet know who my friends will be, but everyone so far is really nice. I can’t believe how much people still smoke. You’d think that in this day and age it would be much less people, but so many people I have met smoke. At night I went to bed and didn’t go out.

Monday was my first day of class. I woke up at 6am, and read until 8am. then I showed up to class early so I could check out the computer lab. Computers are in Spanish and the keyboards are different, similar but different. I had my first class at 9am which was Cyberlaw. I find it somewhat interesting. Then at 11am I have Comparative Law. After class I went with Sarah to find the gym. We found it and it was really crappy. Some dumbbells and a broken treadmill. So I won’t be able to run. Then we went to the hotel for our one free meal a day. We get wine with each meal. The meals are not bad, but they are not very good either. After eating I went to town to find a new adaptor. Did I mention I bought a us European converter and plugged an extension cord to it. Well it popped and turned off all the lights and started to burn on the inside. My room smelled terrible. So I went to buy a converter and everything was closed. From 1-5 everything closes for siesta. On my walk back home I ran into Bianca and Sarah who were trying to find the gym you pay for. Later I find out it is 45 euros to sign up for the month and the girls signed up, but I’m not sure if I’m going to. I decided to walk with them and look for this place. Well guess what, the gym is closed too. I then just went home and went to bed. I had been feeling sick and noticed that my tonsils swelled up. I got some throat drops and then went back to bed. I didn’t sleep well but got up at like 7am missing my entire night. Another night of not going out and having fun, but right now I need to get healthy. I show up to my second day of class and am just hoping to get home so I can nap and try to feel better. I bought a Fanta to keep my throat. I haven’t had one since I was a child, so it brought memories back. Here they have Coke Light instead of Diet Coke. I had one yesterday. There is no wireless in the classroom, which means that I am going crazy of boredom, because I like to multitask and listen when I feel its important. I don’t have plans right now for what I’m going to do with my weekends, but I hope to get all that stuff sorted out soon.

So one thing I am noticing here is the pace of my life. Here I feel like time passes more slowly. This is going to be great for me, as I get to sit down away from the world, away from the ones I love and really start to look at myself and where I want to go. I don’t feel like I’ll have this reflection time again for some time because I have the next two years mapped out and that 3rd year somewhat mapped out as well.

far far away

Finality

"A single lie destroys a whole reputation of integrity." - Baltasar Gracian

It takes only one day for your entire life to change. Whether you made a bad decision or a good decision, the decision has been made and now life will never been like it was before. I've learned that I have to accept that life changes and that I can't hold on to anything too tight because its time will pass too. Things had changed for a bit, but now life is getting back to normacy. I guess not chosing change is also a change in many ways.

I'm writing to note that I am in the thick of finals, hence the lack of entries and future lack of entries. Wish me luck my friends. These are very important. So this is going to be my last entry for quite a while. I still think you should visit to see pictures and write on the message board, but with finals and Spain and all the other things I have coming up, I don't think I'll be able to write on such a regular basis. Also, considering all the changes in my life, I'd rather wait until I feel I'm on more secure footing to truly be able to reflect.


But before I stop writing, I might as well get these thoughts out now. My first bit of news, is that I am now done with my writing class. I just turned in my last assignment and it feels good to have that class out of the way. 4 finals and then I'm done for the semester. I'm really scared about these tests, but all I can do is study for them and try to get as prepared as possible.

A few weeks ago, I heard that a classmate of mine had their 6 year relationship end. I felt horrible for him, and in the following days to come, I could just see the heartbreak on his face. Even when he was smiling and talking, it was all over him. I was impressed on how well he was able to keep going and focus on school. He looks a lot better now and everyone deals with things in their own way, but it reminded me of the feeling of being around a disabled person. You fear that you might one day be like that, and seeing them brings that fear out in you irrationally. I hope to never have to go through that, but I do know it is inevitable if I'm in a relationship, because even if we marry, life is only so long. And that is best case senerio. I still think the benefits out weigh the costs.

I found this online:
The proposal would allow licensed hunters to kill free-roaming cats, including any domestic cat that isn't under the owner's direct control or any cat without a collar, just like skunks or gophers -- something the Humane Society of the United States has described as cruel and archaic.

I'm glad Koki and Mia live inside where they are protected from these licensed hunters.

I needed more, expected more