Poker Tales

[I’m breaking this part out since most people won’t know what I’m talking about.]
I won $475 in a $25 rebuy tournament this weekend. I usually don’t play for these type of stakes, but I had 88 W$ (pokerstars dollars) and I figured I’d use them to take a shot. The way it works is that you pay $25 for 1500 chips and then can add on 1500 more for $25. That put me at $50 invested from the start. (there was a 2 dollar fee to play). There were 70 people entered and top 9 paid. Top 8 paid $475 and 9 gets $300. This is different than a normal rebuy tournament where more of the money is vested in the top 3 positions. The first hour you can go all and if you lose, you can rebuy 1500 chips for $25. I made it through the first hour and added about 2000 chips through my poker play. At the end of the hour, you can add-on 2000 chips for $25 more. I did so and now I’m $75 invested in this tournament (and I’m in for relatively cheap.) After that first hour, you can’t rebuy anymore and you play a normal tournament. I played two more hours of tight, boring slow poker and watched the field thin to about 27. I need top 9, so the final table and as more and more people are getting knocked out, I need to increase my chips so that I can stay at least average size. After 3 hours of play, (still not in the money), we are down to the last two tables this is when strategy plays a big role. It’s almost like blind stealing and all in poker at that point. I play well and get down to the final 9. (luck does play a role I do admit.) I felt very relieved. Now I want the $475 not the $300 and I guess everyone else felt that way too, so it took a long time for a person to get knocked out and then it happens and bam I won $475 (they are W$, but they are worth at least $400 cash). It felt great. What really felt great was that I knew I had it in me to get there, I am getting better and my patience is paying off. I am far from being a good player, far from being a profitable player, but I’m still getting better and that is all that matters. I’ve played 5 of these type of tournaments and cashed in 3. That isn’t too shabby, but when you play for over 2 hours and leave with nothing, it is hard.

The next day, I play 2 $5.00 9 person sit and gos (tournaments) the next day and win one ($22.50) and lose the other. For some reason, I either go out early or win the whole thing, at least recently. I just wanted to keep my mind thinking poker while not risking a lot of money.

Then today I decide to play a $15.00 9 person turbo tournament (top 3 pay) and a $12.00 6 person turbo tournament (top 2 play). Well in short, I lose quickly in the 6 person (I should of folded my set to the possible straight, but I was being impatient). I quickly sign up for a 2nd 6 person $12 turbo because I like having two tables going at one time. I win the 9 person turbo and make $67.50. (Great play, but I was dominating the whole time and there was no real drama.) Then I’m just doing terrible in the 2nd 6 person turbo. I hang around to the final 4 and my goal was to get to final 3 and then loosen up and try to make a move. Well the big stack takes out another guy and now we have 3 players left. Big, medium and small- me. Well I end up going all in on a flush draw, I was low on chips and hoping to take down the pot and end up getting called by the big stack’s top pair. Well I suck out, hit my flush, which happens, and I double up. The Big stack is now about the same size of the medium stack and I’m still the smallest even though I doubled up. Well big stack goes on tilt I guess and the medium stack takes him out a few hands later. So now I’m in the money, but I’m down at least 3 to 1 on chips heads up. Now to this guy I was just a lucky player who snuck in to 4th, then 3rd and now 2nd. Well I get hyper aggressive and he folds my offers to call my all ins and take me out even if he doesn’t have the best hand. If he doubles me he will still have chip lead so I think its worth a call if he had anything decent. I figure, instead, he wants to play post flop poker with me. I used to hate that, but now I don’t mind it as much. So I play him post flop and I was more aggressive than him. He would not raise pre-flop enough, he would fold too much to my bets, let me stay in too many pots cheap. When he bet I would just fold, but he didn’t catch on and just bet more. Then I hit 2 pair with my 23 I limped with and I check it to him. I slow play him and then go for a play that looked like a bluff on the river to him, so he called. I increase my chips substantially. He was still up. He calls me lucky, but doesn’t understand that all the times he hit good hands, I folded (you could tell by his bets). Then much later (I was patient) I hit my set with a small pocket pair and once again slow played him. I don’t slow play in poker often, but heads up I find it’s a great way to double up when you are small. So I double up again when he goes all in and this time I’m a few hundred larger than him. He starts complaining about how very lucky I was and how unfair this was to him. I just reply with “ok” and praise him for his good hands. Jim was watching me and he kept telling me that I was the one not getting hands, but never the less I bet like I had them. I had gone all in about 4 times during our heads up session and he folded each time. I now knew I had him on tilt, so when I get pocket jacks two hands later, I go all in and he calls with A7. He doesn’t hit his ace and I win the tournament and get paid $46.80. He complains later how he was ripped off, etc. I knew that he lost because I played better than him, I offered to go all in early and hope to get lucky, but he wanted to play the cards and I had no problem reading a guy that bet when he had it and folded when he didn’t. He had the mindset that he was much bigger so the money was his and didn’t even think he would be in for a battle.

So those two games helped me clear about $100, which wasn’t too bad for an hour and a half of play. I know I was lucky to suck out on one hand in my 3 sessions, but its part of the game and I too get sucked out on. I don’t know why I always feel like I have to apologize for that. Doyle once said you can’t win a tournament without sucking out a least once. Watching Mark play over time and talking to him about strategy has helped me a lot. I haven’t really invested a lot of time or money playing, but I’m starting to loosen up and really work on my game. I’m scared I’ll jump into waters I’m not ready for and lose a lot of money quickly, so I’m going to try to keep my stakes low.

Last week on our poker night, I won $80. It was a $20 buy in cash game and things got a little expensive. We had about 5 players. I lost $20 off the bat to Bob on an all-in where I had pocket Qs. I rebought for $20 more. I ended the night with $120, probably most of it from 3 or 4 big hands. I was an underdog in one to Andrew and one to Mark. It seems Andrew and I get in an allin hand where he has the best of it and 40% or 2% I suck out. I got into an allin with Mark for a pot that was over $100. When we flipped we were at a 54% 46% situation where I had the 46% and my card hit on the river. Nevertheless, I don’t feel like I don’t deserve my winnings because overall, I played well that night and in the situations where I won a lot of money, I was in a good position worth risking money with. I like working on my live play, so these nights really help out.

Note: All this money I’m talking about went to my light bill which was over $500.

Mark's Birthday

"The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration." - Pearl S. Buck

Today is Mark's Birthday. His friend Jim is in town and we went to a bar to watch the Notre Dame game and Texas game. The bar had a lot of TVs and we did the usual thing of drinking beer and having lunch. We came home during halftime though so that we watch the rest of the game in the comfort of our own home. Both teams won and we also saw some other very good games. There was no cake, but the day was good. It made me think of my age and how I want these years to move very slow.

There was a funny moment when I told Jim about the spoiled milk and juice in our fridge and then just closed it. He was confused why I didn't just throw it out. He is married and made the comment, " I'm sorry, I haven't lived like this for a very long time." It made me laugh and also think about how it had been a while since I lived like this, but now I do. It could be worse, but it has been different in the past, like in Miami. Next year I hope to live in an aparment that is furnished and looks clean, organized and comfortable.

There are many things I'm not. I do think that finding someone that has a personality that clicks with yours is a lot harder than it sounds. I may have humor, sarcasm, wit, honesty, a decent sense of direction and loyalty --but I don't have money, like to dance at a bar, and I am not always the best for planning out a Friday night. I am happy that I have found someone that accepts that about me or at the least is willing to try. I feel like she deserves a lot more than a person that can only be for on the phone and sporadic visits for the time being, but I'm offering what I have. I guess you can only give what you have. So far so good, but I hate the feeling of missing someone.

This is the promise I've made, kept and broken many times. The promise of being a better person, being more productive, working harder, waking up eariler, making the right choices. I want to make this promise to myself, but facing reality after you have put it off for a really long time is very hard. So hopefully I'll make this promise to myself, hopefully I'll keep it and hopefully it won't have to be a promise and just something I want to do and maybe even need to do.

I just learned about the Leeroy video. It was hilarious even though I didn't understand it the first time I read it. Thanks to wikipedia, it all made sense.

Lost has now started. This is a show I am happy I was introduced to. I'm looking forward to the rest of the season. I'm starting to catch up on the office and my name is earl, man I watch tv like it is my job. Thank goodness for dvr. All the people I have recommended getting dvrs love them, which makes me happy.

The Yankee's are done. $200 million dollars can buy a lot, but this year it is not buying another World Series. I'm almost sad to see them go because now I don't know who to root against. Baseball is such a slow game, the playoffs is as exciting as it gets. Since I'm on the sports topic, I'm looking forward to watching TO's return to Philly. I don't like the guy, I think he is a great player and I don't mind that he can help my team win. I thought it was funny they were using his old jersey as floor mats in Philly.

You know what I think is awesome, people that sign my guestbook and write in my message board.

I got an invitation to my 5 year Cornell reunion. I don't think I'll be going, maybe for my 10 year. I'm hoping to go to my high school reunion next year. That should be fun.

all my body hurts

The Unimportant

"A fool and his money are soon parted." - Unknown

Life feels boring right now. This is aside from the fact I get to live each day and should be living life to the fullest. The real problem is that I am not and don’t have the motivation to face it with the upbeat energy and excitement I feel I should be. I just boring it seems, but at the same time I’m somewhat content. Now I think I am an interesting person, but right now my day to day life is just not too exciting, especially when you try to write it down. I don’t know what to do about it (does that infer I'm not content?). I wish I was part of some organized sport or had some sort of avenue to make a lot of money doing something I love. Right now I’m a student, but not the fun going out getting drunk type of student, and not even the working all the time doing my best type of student either. I feel like I want to get the next part of my life started prematurely. I also know that this is a great time in my life and I’ll be wishing one day to have it back. Maybe I just need a way to start feeling more fulfilled. What is my goal in life? To make money, be happy, make God happy, make others happy, have a great job, family, kids?? Maybe I just don’t feel like I am doing anything important. I think everyone wants to do something they feel is important that they are good at. Am I just being ungrateful?

I always like to have a plan. I don’t mind if the details aren’t filled in, but the general outline keeps me on track. Like family, I can’t be sure who I’m going to marry or when, but I do have a plan for what I hope my family life will be like, my home and how we will raise our kids. I don’t have a job, but I have a plan to get a job once I graduate, upgrade a year later and then start making real money, buy a home and a nicer car. So right now I have the plan to finish law school, study for the bar in Texas, take the bar (and God willing study hard enough to pass), move to the valley, rent an apartment and live there while I start building my life. Hopefully after a few years, I’ll be ready to get married and then start that phase of life. Then there is part of me that says, quit, come to California with me and let’s start over there together. I’ll even move to LA even though it is not San Diego, just somewhere new and warm. The problem is that it is unfair, unrealistic, an idea that has no real benefits and probably only a manifestation of the feeling that the grass is greener on the other side. Maybe I’m just scared, feel I am not living up to my potential and know there is something out there for me that isn’t just going to fall into my lap.

This is where I live my life, on the larger scale, on what the best move for is considering the future (my spending of course it the exact opposite of that). Why do I feel like the future will have some sort of magic, something I don’t have or understand now. The truth is I’ll have my degree, a job I don’t feel pays enough and I’ll be waiting until I have enough experience to get that real job and really start my life then. I need to figure out a way to stop doing this in my mind. Am I the only one that thinks about life this much and where I’m going and what I’m doing. Why does everyone else’s life just seem more exciting, full of more opportunity and overall less confusing.


You know, just talking about all that made me feel better, feel a little more relaxed and less anxious over what I can’t fully control.

There is a conference in Seattle coming up really soon. I had been planning since last year to attend and in that trip get a nice vacation and it would also be my first time visit to the other Washington. The land of Starbucks, WTO protests, the space needle, emerald city. My sister Vero is the only person in my family to have gone there and she actually thought of moving there at the time for work. I always wanted to see what a place my sister was thinking of moving to was like. I had looked up the tickets this summer and it was too expensive, and then it became a moot issue because Erika was coming to DC for her bday and to visit her sister in NYC. I was looking forward to that trip as was she, but due to circumstances out of our control, she won’t be able to come until another time. I hate that I’m going to miss Erika’s birthday since I think someone’s bday is a great day to spend with a person. I thought of going to visit her instead, the obvious first option, but I had already purchased 2 trips homes for later in the semester and a 3rd I don’t think I could pull off. Seattle would of become an option, but I can’t afford it, there is not enough time, don’t have a place to stay and don’t know anyone that is going to the conference. The only friend I had over there doesn’t like me much and getting days off of work would be very hard. So why am I thinking about it, maybe because I got an email the other day talking about the conference and it made me think about my next chance to visit a place like Seattle and it hit me that I won’t be traveling for some time.

starting all over

Why He Fights

“Eat before shopping. If you go to the store hungry, you are likely to make unnecessary purchases.” - American Heart Association Cookbook

It is at this point in the semester when I start to accept that I am a terrible student and need to start figuring out a plan so that I can make it through this semester. School isn’t that hard for me, but what is hard is sitting down and doing the reading and spending the time necessary to learn all the information needed. I won’t belabor my reasons for not being a stellar student and I won’t outline a plan of action to do better because it all boils down to the simple – just do it. I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out why I’m not just doing it, but that has not worked yet. There are many papers due which scares me as well.

Herbert called me today. He is doing well. A New York native, he is living in California and moved there without a job, apartment or car. He didn’t even have that much money to get him by, but it is Hebert and he knows how to get by. Well he has good news to report. He has signed a lease on an apartment, has found a job and everything is coming together for him. I am really excited for him and with him the best of luck. It is almost like he is starting his real life now.

Has anyone been watching the news on Foley, the US congressman who wrote those sexually explicit emails to a young male page(s). Why is it always Republicans who have these type of values? The best part is that the party will be able to get out of this situation just like all the other ones. You have the gay porn press correspondent, De Lay, leaks, Cunningham, Abramoff, shooting a man in the face, stealing from Target and the list goes on. Yet, they always find a way to get out of this and blame democrats. A needless war, increasing terrorism in the world, terrible economic policy, Katrina….do we really need more? Watching our government drives me insane because a large majority of people still support the administration for irrational reasons. If democrats lose the midterm elections, we really have no hope. Wait, did I mention Allen’s racist remarks, the countless books talking about our plan to invade Iraq pre-9/11, no increase of minimum wage, Bin ladin determined to attack memo that was ignored, patriot act, no bin ladin, separation of church and state comments (former FL sec. of state), government contracts to Haliburton, Bolton at the UN, wiretaps, and oh yeah pro-torture. When will it just be enough? Am I just on the wrong side of all those issues? Maybe it is me, ok, we know its not. I hope people vote in November and I hope people stop buying the propaganda.

I fight. I never wanted to accept it, but I think the evidence is going to have to win out. I just argue with people too much. Maybe I can’t just let things go or am hyper sensitive, but I seem to make issue of many small things. Now in my defense, they are not that big deal to me individually, but when looked at as a whole, it looks like I just fight all time, when for me it is just a lot of small issues I don’t agree with that I wish to discuss. I need to learn to just let things go. I need to stop making a point out of very principle I think is important. Looking at relationships from my past, what benefits do I get now from arguments I had over principle, over how it would affect me in the future. Well it clearly doesn’t affect me know. I need to choose my battles more wisely and just let things go. Also, I need to learn to let others people’s issues go. When someone is mad, I question them until I find out why they are mad and try to solve the problem…this only seems to inflame the problem. I need to just let it go, let them be mad and let them bring it up if they want. I can’t worry about people harboring resentment towards me because it is too much work that just makes things worse. Also, I make problems and issues over things that are not there, just because I feel they might be there...like reading too much into something. I remember in a relationship early in college I was once told, did you and your ex fight this much? Now looking back over my life, I do fight a lot. Now, premise that with the fact my fights are not yelling matches and aren't the type where you treat someone badly, just normal arguments over stupid shit. I've seen bad fights, physical fights and the like and that I am glad I have no part of. So yes, I will continue to fight, but hopefully not as often and be more laid back than constantly judging the situation and the person.

At work today I had to drive down and file some paperwork with the court. I know this is one of those tasks that isn't very thought intensive, but it was very exciting for me. I felt like I was really part of the process, really doing something. There was a lot of getting lost on my drive, but that is due to the fact I'm rarely in Alexandria. I haven't been to work in a long time, so this was a good way to get back into the habit.

I finally got to make a return to Express of some clothes I bought while in Texas. I had these pants sitting there for well over a month and the idea of not returning them yet was just really stressed me out. I probably need that money back as well, so that helped. I return a lot of stuff, I think I should stop doing that. The problem is when you buy something you shouldn't and then say, oh well I might return it later and then you don't return it. The reason it took so long was that I haven't been to Tyson's Corner in a very long time. I haven't really had a reason to go and no one to shop with. I remember when I used to argue that it was one of the best malls, I guess my actions didn't live up to my words.

tv nights