Kites and Carousels

"Because you lie beside me now, I dream of kites and carousels.
And sleep at peace within myself.
And fear the night no more." - Robert Sexton

Work is starting to pick up, which is a very good thing. I look forward to all the projects to work on. There is a good feeling you get when you are being productive. Other than that, not much news on the working front.

Romney dropped out of the race I hear. I'm interested to see how the conservative Republicans embrace McCain. (Mac is my favorite Republican, but I'd never vote for him due to his war stance.) Now hopefully the Democrats can get their candidate selected so that a national race can start.

I don't know why but I have been following the news of the death of Heath Ledger. I know about a lot of drugs on that list, I wonder what made them mix to cause death. A lot of those drugs are very common, yet they make it sound like they must be bad in some way. I wonder if there is a way to find out how much of each drug he took and what interaction made him sick. "Combined effects" just worries me and if I had to take one of those drugs I would wonder what combined effects it could have. I hear his role as the Joker is going to be amazing, I do look forward to seeing it.

"In a statement Ellen Borakave, spokesperson for Office of Chief Medical Examiner, confirms:
"Mr. Heath Ledger died as the result of acute intoxication by the combined effects of oxycodone, hydrocodone, diazepam, temazepam, alprazolam and doxylamine. We have concluded that the manner of death is accident, resulting from the abuse of prescription medications."

TMZ reports : The NYPD found five different medications in Ledger's apartment after his death, including anti-anxiety medications Alprazolam (Xanax), Diazepam (Valium) and Lorazepam (Ativan). The sleeping medication Zopiclone (Lunesta) and the sedative Temazepam (Restoril) -- which is used by people with "debilitating insomnia" -- were also found. "

When I first moved to DC, I lived in Arlington, VA. Each morning when I would walk to work I would pass the Newseum. I didn't know that it was closing and decided I'd wait until later to check it out. Then I find out it closed and was going to be moved. I felt like I missed out on an opportunity. Then today I read this article that made me remember that: Washington Journalism "Newseum" Sets Opening Date And Steep Ticket Price:
"The previous incarnation of the Newseum, which was in Arlington, Va., and closed in 2002, was free. Officials at its parent organization, the Freedom Forum, decided to build a larger center closer to the Smithsonian museums on the National Mall. "

Well Maria is back to blogging. It is nice to have that to read again. I haven't seen anything from the Martian Cat Problem in a long time, so I'm hoping that blog returns soon too.

Where could I get a card like this?

I stole this from Abram's blog. It was pretty funny. A bit long, but good if you like Dane Cook.

Dane Cook: Would you Rather?

all we need

Bullies

"Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative." - Kurt Vonnegut

So I get home yesterday after work and decide to watch the Super Tuesday coverage. I thought I would be more excited since I follow politics on a daily basis, but some how I felt a bit bored. Almost like since we knew that there wouldn't be a winner on the democratic side, it was just watching to see who would have the small edge. At least that means the race moves on. It seems like McCain has his nomination all wrapped up even though a lot of conservatives seem pretty pissed about that.

On the way to work I pass an elementary school , a primary school (that is what the sign says) and a high school. It is during school zone time, so I have to slow down and make sure I don't get a ticket. There is a billboard in front of I think the Elementary school which said, "Help 'Nerds'. Blackout Bullies. Thursday wear black." My mind couldn't consider all the reasons that this is wrong because it just went into overload. First, I get the wear red for drug week and the stamp out drugs or whatever silly things schools do to foster community spirit. Here is my first problem, "Help Nerds." This infers that there are students at the school that are indeed Nerds. Now if you are a student who has been bullied you are now considered a "nerd." Is that any way to foster self esteem in a kid? I mean what if it was "Protect wimps or pussys" instead. I just feel that using the term "nerd" to describe any part of the school population BY THE SCHOOL is just inappropriate. Sure kids will call some nerds, others jocks etc, but it doesn't mean that the SCHOOL should adopt those stereotypes. Secondly, in defense of bullies, every act of aggression isn't always bullying. Sometimes it is legitimate self defense or retaliation for something someone has done to you. It isn't right, but it doesn't make you a bully if some one says your mom's a whore and you punch them in the face. Usually both would get in trouble, but the real issue here is "Kid on Kid" violence that the school is trying to stop I would think. I think it would be cool if that school made kids wear name tags either making them "nerds" or "bullies" so that the other kids could know who exactly they are helping and who they are "blacking out." This was such a waste of my thinking, but your mind wanders in the morning as you drive to work.

So I'm all excited, I finally got a working Centro, I was able to give my sister a working Centro and I have a Treo 755p I was planning to give to Abram. Now that I have had time to fully use the Centro I'm torn giving up the 755p. These battles I have with my mind, they make no sense. I had to do this update on it so that it would have the latest software. Centro is winning right now.

This is for Herbert who doesn't read my blog, but his irrational support of Ron Paul made me think of him when I saw this.

I want to believe, I really do

Super Tuesday

"We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." - Angelina Jolie

Today is Super Tuesday and I've never been so excited about a primary. Texas doesn't vote until March, so for me it is just a matter of watching the returns. I'm really interested in how it turns out and if it will affect the way I vote later. One day I'm for Hillary the next I'm inspired by Obama. As far as VP goes, Clinton/Obama would be amazing, but I don't think Obama would pick Clinton as his running mate. I worry Clinton would go with Richardson or Biden (both great guys, but not as exciting.) I guess I'd just sit back and watch the pundits do their thing.

I hope everyone voted.

The Brawl: Colbert (and Stewart) v. Conan. A must see. Without writers people can get really creative in finding ways to waste time, but this was amazing.

I will be honest here, I'm don't get really excited about other people's kids (or pets for that matter). I'm not indifferent per se, but I can't reach the level of joy excitement and wow that a parent feels for their child as they tell you some amazing achievement that makes their baby unique. "My baby is so smart he just did {insert action here}." I'm not mean or grumpy towards kids, and think I get along with them well enough. Right now there is a lot of baby excitement in the air. My sister Eliza is having a baby soon and Oscar's sister Monica is having a baby any day now. I'm actually very excited for both of them, in a way I didn't think I would be before. Maybe it was watching the process from finding out there was a baby, the preparation, the showers (fyi Eliza's is this weekend) and even things like name picking or the moment you find out the sex of the baby. I'm not as excited to be an uncle, because I'm already an uncle (and a great one btw that just hasn't had the chance to fully prove that yet), but more excited for my sister's joy of having a new child. Now I'm sure my awe will pass soon after and Eliza will have to deal with the day to day parenting things. So my point is, I kind of am starting to get it now.....kind of.

So during my hiatus, I had purchased a brand new Centro, but it ended up being a scam, well kind of. I ended up giving the phone to my sister Ana and she was able to get it to work. I'm so happy because it means that the phone won't become useless. That ends a long sequence of events in a good way.

When you look back on your life, you start to see things differently. Things you couldn't see years ago feel like they are getting clearer. You spend your life looking for the one. You have a list of characteristics you hope to find, but other than great learning experiences most options do end up effectively as dead ends. Then you meet a person, a person that has a good heart, always has a smile, is smart, attractive, fun, active, caring. Everything you could hope for. Then to top it all off, they care about you immensely and you know they would do anything for you. Then you hurt this person by not being their one. It is usually because you know there is something missing, either something you can't live up to or that intangible thing you are still looking for. Other times it is just you not completely happy with yourself yet. What were you supposed to do? It is this person you should remember when you feel like you can't find the one, because you are the one that chose being alone. You have no reason to feel sorry for yourself or lonely. We are not always the victim of love, but those are the memories that come to mind the most. I think it is an important lesson to learn.

Here is some feedback I got a from a friend that I really agree with and that really meant a lot to me: "though you didn't quite ask for this i'll tell you how i feel about the matter. it's pretty much true that he doesn't feel pain in the sense that we think of it as. it hurts the family seeing a patient basically deteriorate. i've seen sooo many people w/ sores, and wasted people who are hooked up to feeding tubes and IV's. if it were me i'd rather just someone pull my peg tube. sounded like he rebounded well last year, and now he's not really improving, he's just not dying as fast as people predict him to. it's shitty that people get sores and ulcers just b/c they're lying in bed all the time, and i would rather pull my parent's feeding tubes if they were in the situation you described. but sounds like the person that makes the calls wants god to do his thing, and yeah if she calls the shots there's not much that anyone can do. seeing all these really old people has made me want to draft a advanced directive myself, but of course i haven't done it. "

everyone was asking for you

That Really Was Super

"Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you." - Fran Lebowitz (1950 - ), Social Studies (1981)

Sunday was the Superbowl. I have to tell you, it was an an exciting game. There was no huge superbowl party for me this year. Too bad where I wanted to be wasn't an option. I had thought that my cousin was going to watch the game at his place, but I was torn between having food and friends or being at home comfy with my HD TV. Me wanting to have the best of both worlds, got a bright idea and quickly packed up my TVs cords and speakers in a backpack and I loaded the TV in my car. I called ahead and found out that I had misunderstood and that they were watching the game at a friends place. At this point I just said in response to what's up?, "oh yeah I'm just here at home hanging out." I turned back around, and reinstalled (I used that word because mine has a lot of cords) the TV to watch the game from home. Thank goodness for the dvr, but it doesn't work as well when you actually want to watch the commercials. My favorite quote I heard before the game was, "the Patriots can't have a perfect season and win the superbowl, that just isn't right, nobody should be able to do that." I too was cheering for the underdog. The end of the game was very exciting. I was texting away, going crazy in anticipation and fear. I was so happy to see them pull it out. Even though the score was off in number, Kieth Olbermann was exactly right about his prediction that the Giants would win. He claimed they would come back in the 4th quarter and Eli Manning would lead his team to win the game. He knows his sports. I respect my Cornell Alumn.

Here was the Play of the Game!

Oh I put that quote up today because I still enjoy getting phone calls. But I'm guessing once you are older you also get more calls you don't want to answer. I used to have my own phone line in my room, which I guess is equivalent to the iphones high school kids carry around with them now.

This weekend I took a last minute trip down to the Valley. Sometimes when you feel you are trying to be there for someone, you end up finding out that they ended up truly being there for you. It means so much to know my advice can be helpful. The lens through which you see the world dramatically changes how it affects you.


I don't know why people are not more upset over the price of gas. I sometimes feel like, well maybe I'm the only one that can't spend almost 50 bucks each time I fill up my car. I'm sure everyone is hurting, but what can we do? I can complain, but that doesn't do too much. I could drive less, which I try to do, but it is inevitable in life that you will need to drive, for work, for food, to visit friends. It is cheaper for me to fly to the valley than to drive. I used to be able to compare the price of driving to NYC from DC to taking the Bus, but flying, I mean really? As you can tell I need to fill up today and am not looking forward to it.


I saw some kids playing football when I was driving home last week and I had this irrestible urge to go and play with them. I just love playing football, but I don't get to play enough. Basketball you need two people, but football you need at least 4. I really love that game. I wish I played more informal games like that more often, but other than real football, I haven't played touch football since early college.

I just noticed that this year is a Leap Year. I think that is the coolest thing. I remember being little and finding out about leap years. I just didn't make sense, you add an extra day every four years, I mean I just had to trust it made it all work out. Also the idea of every 4 years seemed like an eternity, but maybe because at the time it was about the length of half my lifetime.

Groundhog day came and went. I hear we are going to get more winter. This year I didn't follow and would of forgotten about this day if not for a text message from Angie.

Super Tuesday is coming....I can't wait. I don't even know who to root for, but I'm excited.

it's what I don't know that scares me