You Just Feel It

"Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved." -Marcus Antonius

Wednesday night I went out with Abram and Oscar. Considering the stressful challenges that I have been falling on my lap, Abram decided alcohol should become involved. It had been a while since I had seen Oscar, so it was cool he came to hang out. Oh, btw, he just signed on a Condo. I'm so proud of the guy, he now owns a house and a condo and has done it in the most responsible way. It won't be ready until July, so that gives him time to get things in order.

I didn't plan to drink too much, but not having to drive and trying to get my mind off things got the better of me. We had a good time. When I got home, I hung out with the dogs for a while and then ended up crashing out. I woke up late the next morning with that feeling that drinking is bad and was able to make it to work on time, but not without skipping on a lot of my morning routine. After a few Advil I was able to get through the day.

I was reading about this: Step It Up and Kick: The Rockette Auditions. Did you know that anyone over 18 who is between 5'6" and 5'10" can try out? I've never seen them perform, I wonder if they are any good.

Erika is coming into town for her sister's graduation. I am looking forward to seeing her and her family. I hope her TomTom helps them get around.

no more complicated

The Dawn

"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
courage to change the things we can,
and wisdom to know the difference." -Author is Complicated

The other day I went to Sam's with Abram and Rino. I'm not a big fan of buying in bulk, but I figured I'd give it a shot. I guess I won't really know the benefit until a few months from now. What I can tell you is that I have a lot of paper plates.


I'm looking forward to this weekend. I have a feeling that it is going to be really good, so why not get my hopes up. I think I'm going to keep an open mind and just let things happen.

I had talked about no matter how much I like Hillary Clinton and want her to be vice president, I had finally joined the Obama bandwagon with hopes that he does pick her as vp. Now, I always noted that I thought both were great and both would be great presidents, but I do have some observations. The one that that made me go from supporting Obama to really hardcore wanting to be on his team was the Reverend news coverage issue. Man, that so pissed me off. The incessant cries of, 'oh how could he know that man', 'how can we trust his judgment', just straight up crap right out of the Republicans speaking to the lowest common denominator bullshit. Now I know Hillary was behind in the delegates and had to do whatever it took to win, but to jump on that bullshit bandwagon talking point too made me feel like that quote about how you have to be careful that when fighting with monsters (republicans) you don't yourself become one... it really seemed to fit. The way she edged him out in my book back in the day was that I knew she could fight back hard, but I at least hoped that she wouldn't resort to Rove type tactics. That contrasted with a man who wouldn't throw a family friend under the bus even when that man ended up just making things worse. Now that he has it all tied up, I guess it is time to get ready for the Republican slime machine. They are good, I give them that, but what gets to me is that some people really think they are doing an honorable thing since the ends can justify the means. McCain has come out and said he is going to run a respectful campaign, I give him that, but those 527s don't really care what he says and he seems to have no control over them.

I found this excerpt on a friend's blog from an article.


RECENTLY my mother asked me to clarify what I meant when I said I was dating someone, versus when I was hooking up with someone, versus when I was seeing someone. And I had trouble answering her because the many options overlap and blur in my mind. But at one point, four years ago, I had a boyfriend. And I know he was my boyfriend because he said, “I want you to be my girlfriend,” and I said, “O.K.”

I read this today:

How A Big Booty Boosts Your Health : I know the topic is funny, but I find it interesting that we are at a point in society that we can talk about such a serious topic like health in the news and use the words "Big Booty." I don't mind, but it made me laugh. [I think it is an English paper.]

maybe i have have trust issues, but believe me, I have earned them - HIMYM

Time to Think

“No man is rich enough to buy back his past.” - Oscar Wilde

I don't have much to say right now. This is usually when I have the most to say I think.
No usual log update for me right now. I hate when things start to fall around you and you try to be calm and pick them up one by one, but then you just keep finding more things you didn't expect. I'm better than this. I can not let my circumstances win here. So to keep my mind off of this: Here are some articles that caught my attention.

Guess it isn't too great of a topic. My left leg had been hurting me for a few weeks. It was a weird pain. Considering you can turn any symptom into the signs of something bad, here is what I found.

Leg Pain a Hidden Risk for Stroke:


A less accurate way to check for PAD [peripheral arterial disease] is to use a stethoscope to listen to the pulse at various points on the legs like the thigh or knee and see if the pulse is weak at any of those places or if there are unusual sounds, such as a murmur, suggesting that blood flow is disrupted. Some of the symptoms are aching pain, fatigue, and sometimes burning in the calf when walking. Pain can also be in the thigh or the front of foot. Another symptom is restless legs when one lies down.



I found this a bit funny. Read the article, there is another funny picture there too.

Anti-Immigration Protester Needs A Spell-Check


The San Francisco Chronicle reprints this photo taken at an anti-immigration rally in Texas. The paper quips: "Excellent point: In Houston, a Texan protesting amnesty for illegal immigrants argues that anyone who can't master English doesn't deserve to live in America."



Here is a list of my current opportunities:


I just got paid and already have 5 overdrafts. Tough times my friends and I don't even have the right to complain. At least my cats aren't going to the restroom in my room...wait, no.



There are no bad dogs, just bad dog owners. I'm one of those owners it is looking like. I thought I was doing a great job with Max, but he keeps getting into trouble and acting up. I am responsible since he probably needs more care. The stories about this are quite long, including a hoodi dog that can get out of any tied up situation.

HIMYM did not record for me on Monday. How petty is that to be listed here? Tivo has changed me over a grand of fees by accident and despite all my work to get their mistake fixed, I'm still waiting.

Abram and I were talking about my bout last week with some tough times and how maybe Karma is just balancing out since things are going so well for him, I'm picking up the slack to balance it out. The thought in a weird way made me feel better.

Screw this focusing on the negative thing, it doesn't help. I hate when people complain and bitch, especially when not looking at the bigger more positive picture. It is the whole, "Poor little rich boy" thing where you can't feel sorry for a person who isn't appreciating how well they have it. You have to pardon me though I just can't keep this all inside.



So here as I'm here typing, the world goes fuzzy and I feel dizzy and right as I feel like I'm going to faint, I lay down on the floor to try to feel better. It feels like a sudden drop in blood pressure, my guess probably brought upon the stress I'm inflicting on myself as I'm here writing about this crap. It does feel very scary though. It could be something else, but damn it is scary. I don't think I've felt like this before.

I'm just going to stop.

maybe it isn't myself I need to forgive

Spur of the Moment

"Nothing is interesting if you're not interested." -Helen MacInness

Wednesday was a great day. Sometimes out of nowhere comes a great surprise. You feel really good and though your instinct is to walk cautiously, you decide to forgo that and just enjoy the moment. Here is looking forward to the days to come.


So, I ordered a chair for work since I got paid and went to pick it up at lunch on Wednesday. I had picked it out online and when I saw it I was not happy. I felt like "that guy" when I show up and return a product I had yet to even pick up. I did find one I liked and I just ordered it online. Hard to pick a chair when you want something cheap yet functional. The chair I have now is terrible, yet my desk and office is pretty damn awesome (never had my own true office in my life). They just don't match. When it came in on Thursday, it took some time to put it together, but I'm very happy with my purchase.

I was watching Grey's this week and I thought it was so funny when Addison referred to Rose as "some doe-eyed little creature thing or something." I'm still a big Rose fan, but I really liked the description she used. I feel kind of confused on what is going on with Izzy, George and Lexie. I still don't think Private Practice is going to make it, but I'll still be watching.

When I get a goal, sometimes I try to get it done so bad that I end up losing more in the end. For example, I have been trying to hard to wire my garage with cable. Well if in the end I do have cable, well that would be great, but at what expense? I mean if I end up messing up the walls or have some ugly wire on the outside of the house, well that would make it a net loss. I will figure it out through. My latest fishing line and weights plan fell flat, well actually didn't fall, which was the problem.

Here is some local Valley news from Tuesday.

Xenophobic bigot Tom Tancredo has come under fire for suggesting at a hearing yesterday in Brownsville, TX, that the proposed border fence ought to be built on the northern side of the town. Since the beginning of the immigration/border debate, Brownsville has become the “epicenter” of opposition to the fence.

Valley Morning Star:
Boos and hisses emanated from the audience for a congressional field hearing when Republican U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo of Colorado dismissed residents’ concerns that the effort to build 670 miles of fencing along the U.S.-Mexico border by year’s end would damage the environment and destroy a centuries-old bond between residents on both sides of the Rio Grande.
Late in the five-hour hearing, Tancredo returned to a comment made earlier by panelist Betty Perez, a rancher and local activist. Perez said, “It really isn’t a border to most of us who live down here.” Tancredo dismissed Perez’s remarks as a “multiculturalist attitude toward borders.” As jeers rose, Tancredo added, ``I suggest that you build this fence around the northern part of your city.”

hopeful