The Final Day

"A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation." -Saki

Today is MLK day, but I don't have the day off. I shouldn't complain considering I took a sick day on Friday (a real one). A lot people think today is his birthday, but it is on January 15th, we just celebrate it today. The weekend is over and it wasn't a good one. Other than the whole being at home sick thing, it was just a less than stellar weekend. I was able to wake up in time to get McDonalds breakfast on Saturday, a feat that has been eluding me for what feels like months. That was sadly the highlight.

On Bush's regrets during his term, I think it was put best by :Matthews: Bush is like the cop who shoots an unarmed man and regrets he didn't have a gun

Matthews: I found it interesting that the president, who admitted he was wrong about WMDs as a justification for war, called it a "disappointment." If a police officer in the line of duty in the middle of the night shoots a fellow because he thinks he's got a gun, it turns out he's got a wallet, your reaction if you're a police officer is not that you're disappointed he didn't have a gun, it's shame that even if it was a technical mistake that you've made, that you've killed a guy without reason. Why does the president use the word "disappointment" when he says they didn't have the WMD to justify us going in? I think it's an odd use of the word.

The inauguration of Obama is a day away and that makes today Bush's last full day in office. Oh how long I have waited for this day. Ever since I heard Gore concede in December 2001 while I was in my truck outside of Taco Bell in Ithaca, NY. That was the day I became a Democrat. I thought I was a Republican just a few weeks before that, but the election and how it was handled really changed how I saw everything. It is true I voted for Nader in that election, but at the time it was a misinformed vote against Gore. I watched a lot of coverage of Obama over the weekend including the train stops on the way to DC. Part of me wishes I had made the trip back to DC, but I'm no good in crowds, especially those that may be as big as 2 million. The memory of DC is fading though.

"A Farewell to Republicans"

But one of the most eerily consonant assessments was actually published more than three-quarters of a century ago, by The Nation, in an editorial goodbye to Herbert Hoover and the GOP ascendancy he represented, entitled "A Farewell to Republicans" (republished this week). Here is one very pertinent excerpt:

[W]e are taking leave not merely of a single Administration. For twelve years the Republican Party has been in power. During ten of those years it controlled the executive and legislative branches of the government. When, a few years hence, an attempt is made to minimize the disaster of this last quadrennium, and to point to a preceding eight year period of material development and growth, let it be noted that in a purely material sense the American people are much worse off today than they were twelve years ago. Far more than was gained has been swept away. Savings have been dissipated, lives have been blasted, families disintegrated. Misery and insecurity exist to a degree unprecedented in our national life. And spiritually the American people have been debauched by the materialism which made dollar-chasing the accepted way of life and accumulation of riches the goal of earthly existence.

I have filed my federal income taxes. I paid a lot of them this year and I'm hardly getting anything back. I couldn't even deduct all the interest I paid to student loans, which was a lot. The feeling sucks and it makes me understand why people who think Republican's will lower taxes are easily tricked. What brings me peace is the knowing that we might actually have a functioning government that my taxes will be able to help. Maybe they will go to help build a bridge or fix the roads, maybe even schools. Either way, I have nothing to complain about.

Circuit City is going out of business. I went during my lunch break today to see if I could find any deals. There was nothing I really needed and the deals were not too impressive. I mean 10% off a product that is 20% more expensive than buying on the internet isn't too great of a deal. 8% you lose to taxes off the bat. I really wanted a digital camera, but the one I wanted was sold out. The other I could get online for the same price sans taxes. I'd say I'll miss you CC, but I hardly knew you.

One of the things I did do this weekend was watch the NFC and AFC championships. So Arizona is going to play Pittsburgh in the Superbowl. Doesn't sound too exciting huh? It is the Superbowl, so it doesn't matter who is playing really. They both earned their way there. I think Arizona is going to be the underdog, so I'm going to be cheering for them.

it's so easy

The Other Side

"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened." -Winston Churchill

I'm very much looking forward to the inauguration. I'll probably have to watch from work, but wish I had the day off. I'm sure there will be a lot to see and I'll be tired of it all after the day is out. Either way, I'm very excited for January 20th.



Thursday I was starting to feel really sick. To the point where I had to leave work early to go home. I don't know what it is, but it doesn't feel too great. Friday I called in sick and spent most of the day in bed. I had plans to go down to the island for the weekend, but that was interrupted by my sickness. It got in the way of a lot of things to say the least. After a day in bed and lots of nyquil, I'm starting to feel a little better, but new symptoms seem to keep popping up. There is nothing worse than being in pain and not having any sympathy or even empathy. It is just you and the sickness. What a waste of a 3 day weekend.


I saw Gran Torino like I was planning. I thought it was a good movie, only after you get over the dialogue of the racist character. I still don't think any life experience gives you the right to be racist, but the other parts of the film really make it worth watching. The other movie I saw was the Wrestler. I thought it was a good movie and the best actor award was well given, but I feel like a lot of the message went over my head.


Here is a interesting take:
Vagabond Scholar: If BUSHCO were a football team, they'd be the 0-16 Detroit Lions, but would insist they'd actually won every game - except for a couple losses - which weren't their fault. [from Mike's Blog Roundup ]



Where am I going to be 6 months from now? a year from now? It is interesting how one day you have one idea and another day a completely different one. I don't really know, but I do know that with whatever comes, I need to be looking at 5 years from now and stop living this hand to mouth routine. I don't want years to pass where I'm getting by, but not really living. How this is done, well I still haven't figured it out yet.

while you are down

I Don't Know

“Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.” - Sara Paddison

Texas won the Fiesta Bowl! It was a fun one. Abram had a small gathering for the game at our place. It turned out to be a fun time and the Texas come back made it all that much better. We even played some rockband afterwards. Later in the week Florida won the National Championship.

This weekend SNL hosted by NPH from How I Met Your Mother had some great moments including the opening. Check out the video. Saturday Night Live: Rachel Maddow Interviews Burris And Blagojevich (VIDEO) The Doogie Howser digital short was pretty impressive as well.




`Slumdog Millionaire' wins 4 at Golden Globes
I wonder how it will do at the Oscars. I still need to see the Wrestler. I did get to see Che Part One. I wish I knew more of the politics and history. I thought it was a good movie and can't wait to see Part Two/the rest of the movie. What I do know is that he was around 29 years old when he helped lead the revolution in Cuba. Makes me wonder if I would have that in me. I also need to see Frost/Nixon, but I keep putting it off because I don't know if it is going to be enjoyable.

The Science Behind True Love - SCIENTISTS have discovered true love. Brain scans have proved that a small number of couples can respond with as much passion after 20 years as most people exhibit only in the first flush of love.
I have always thought that fairness was a big deal, but how can I think that when I'm not always fair to myself. I accept things from myself that I wouldn't respect another person a person for.

Friday night Erika played poker with family and friends and did amazing. She outlasted the whole field to come out on top. She was very happy with her win and I was happy for her. I then went to play poker with Rino on Saturday night. It was Mike's 30th birthday and everyone got him some pretty funny gag gifts. I'm real bad at seeing the difference between gag and mean spirited, but the gifts he got were clearly gag. The guy who runs the poker clock wasn't there so I downloaded a program and set up a clock for the game. I went in with the usual expectation to try my best, but knowing that to win I would have to get lucky. We broke up into two tables. I had a slow go of it. I was medium stacked for the first hour and didn't win any big hands, but didn't lose any big ones either. Then a guy at our table got huge and that made it more difficult. I hate it when people say they didn't get any hands all night because you don't always need hands to hang around and people easily forget the hands they did get. Once we were down to one table I was fairly short stacked. I was sure I would go out 6th or 7th. I switched over into push fold mode and was able to make it to the final four, still the smallest stack at the table. Finally I moved into the top 3 and at the last minute I was able to steal some huge blinds a few times and then double up to get a good stack size. By the time I got heads up I had a dominate chip advantage. I ended up winning 1st place and took home $120, $20 less than we had set up for first because I cut a deal to increase 2nd place. The guy I played against is very good and has won almost every time. Even with a 2 to 1 chip advantage, I wanted some insurance. It felt good to win, but Rino and Jess had to stay there very very late which I felt bad for. The last time I played poker was at Mike's place.


I have a Harmony One remote I programed for my TV, TiVo and DVD player. So far I like it a lot. I feel like there is still a lot more that I can do with it, but just don't know yet. I like that it lights up in the dark.
Smart Men Have Better Sperm: Study I'm just saying. Yet smarter men seem to have less kids. Hummm.

This reminds me of lessons I got growing up. (the monkey part)

why do I

Equivocation or False Promise? New Year's Resolutions

“I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.” - Pietro Aretino

I'm back to work today after a Christmas break that went much faster than I had imagined it would. The morning was cold and the the drive to work was quiet and wet. I gave up my entire 2009 vacation days for this break. I really got to work something out for unpaid vacation going forward. The rest of my life starts again today, or so is the mantra each new year.


So here is an overview of my break. First off, I don't have a digital camera right now, so I don't have pictures to post. I didn't take any but I collected some from other people's cameras like I did for thanksgiving. Unfortunately, I left them on my mother's computer, so it will be some time before I upload them. I really wish I took more pictures.



I drove down to the Valley on the 23rd and when I arrived, Erika was feeling sick from a happy hour in Mexico. It was still nice to see her since it had been some time. The next day, on Christmas eve, I visited my family and later went with Erika and her family to mass and a gathering afterwards. We ate tamales and turkey. That day I had found out that a gift I had bought for Erika for Christmas, she had already purchased. It was a perfume she mentioned she had wanted once while we were shopping, wanted so much she purchased it later. I guess it wasn't a hint, but an honest thought. It it the thought that counts right? I hoped so. At night, I hung out with my mom, dad and brother. We watched old family movies. I have to say by the end of the trip I was family videoed out. Vero's high school graduation was fun to see and it was nice seeing 1991 all these years later.



Christmas, I woke up a bit late and my job was to get the drinks for the party. Most places were closed so my nephew Andrew and I found a place, but they had no ice. That kind of sucked. Bekkah and Jamie came over. Erika dropped by and gave presents to everyone, kind of like Santa. She gave the girls Twilight books (1 and 2), bookmarks and presents for my family. She didn't have to, but she did. She also brought my presents. I got a harmony remote I had been wanting, ties, a shirt and a money clip. All such very thoughtful gifts. I gave her her gifts, which were now one less, including Christmas roses, a star necklace and some makeup I thought she would like. I hope she enjoyed her presents. She couldn't stay long because she had to get back to her family.


This year was not meant to be an expensive Christmas, but just the sheer number of people makes things really add up. I tired to get all the kids something they would enjoy. I won't go through a laundry list of presents, but I feel like I did a good job. The whole family was together, we had lunch, opened presents and just chatted a lot. Rick even sent over a nice basket that included nuts, which helped me learned that I can't open nuts well without a nutcracker. Later in the day, my Tio Cama and Tia Priss and family came by. The two babies (Celeste and Sebastian) were cooed, kissed, poked, prodded and compared. I'm glad I'm not a baby. They were cute though. I got my niece Celeste a swing that she very much enjoyed.


The 26th was my dad's birthday. I met up with Abram and we went to Mexico in the morning for lunch and bottles. I want to go off on the cops with machine guns and the mini tank there in the middle of the road, but I feel like I should just get used to it. I didn't much feel in danger, probably because where we were was a very safe place. After getting back, Abram left for Austin and my dad came over to my mom's house and we spent time there with him. The girls (Bex and Jamie) were still over as well. They got to stay a long time with us which was really nice. I worry the other kids might feel like there is favoritism, but I knew that they were going to have a Christmas with few presents, so I tried my best to help them have real presents as well. One of the things I got them was Uno Attacks. They love the game and it was the game I remember playing with their mom last.

That night I went to hang out with Ricardo. It had been a while since we hung out. He always seems like things are going so well. I need to keep better in touch. We met up with Jon and his fiancee who were down from Oklahoma. It had been forever since I had seen Jon, but it was good to see that he was still the same old Jon. I'm very happy for him. We went out to a bar where we met up with Jerry and ran into Sam. Sam really knows his beers, or at the least knows a lot more about them than I do. I should probably start expanding my list of favorites. The bar was a pretty good find by Rick and somewhere I'd go again. With Jon and Jerry there we were Juan short of our high school spring break trip were I first got really drunk. The years that have gone by.



I left shortly before midnight so that I could celebrate my birthday midnight with Erika, but I ended up being in my car when I turned 29 on Dec. 27th. This is the last year of my twenties, they went by so fast. The one thing I can't help thinking is that this is how old my sister Vero was when she passed away. I feel like I am now living the age of her last year of life. She already had two girls and a home and what would I leave behind? I don't know, it is just a thought I can't shake. I don't feel her age, she was always so much older than me. I never stop thinking of her. I usually go to Red Lobster for my birthday, but this year I figured it would be cheaper if we got a botana and ate it at my Mom's house. The food was good, I got some more presents from Erika, including a nice brown belt, a bmw key chain and boxers. At night, Erika's parents invited me to a fancy dinner with them. The place was one that needed reservations days in advance, was very nice and it is always so wonderful of them to invite me with them to eat. I had an amazing steak that I really enjoyed. Lana was headed back to NYC the following day.

The next few days I spent with Erika before we headed up to Austin for New Years. We arrived on the 30th. On the New Year's eve we went shopping at the mall and went to look at some phones for Erika. We left home early for the new years eve party Rino and Jess put together. Jess also decided to throw Rino a surprise birthday party (his bday is on the 2nd) as well.

A lot of people came over and we drank, ate snacks, played darts and watched the ball drop in New York on an hour time delay. I miss the days when they would show the ball drop live and then do something else for the the central standard time people. We had champagne and grapes and everyone played some Rockband. I didn't drink too much, but it was still a lot more than I usually drink. The 2nd was Rino's birthday, but I didn't really see him too much that day. I'm sure he had a good time and that there is a story there.


The rest of the trip wasn't all too exciting, but I guess it depends on how you look at it. I think part of vacation is resting and being on break. We went to a Barnes and Noble to shop for books. I looked for Pooch Cafe: Bark to Work Legislation, but they did not have it. It is not easy to find, which explains why it wasn't under the tree for me. I need to order that book online at some point. Erika did buy me the first Pearls Before Swine book. I was happy to notice that the author is a lawyer who quit his day job. I think it is very funny. There were quite a few books, so I have years to catch up on. I finished the book in one night. Here is yesterdays.

Another thing we did was watch a whole lot of movies. Slumdog Millionaire, Benjamin Button, Changeling, Milk, Blindness, Bolt, Madagascar 2, National Treasure 2 and the Bucket List. Watching a movie is nice when it is cold outside and you can get under the covers. I don't feel up for reviews at the moment, but see Slumdog Millionaire.

One of the things we did was drive to the Natural Bridge Caverns to visit the Wildlife Ranch. It is kind of like an African safari. You pay money and drive through this path where there are all these exotic animals. It was pretty amazing. The ostrich stole the whole food bag from Erika while she was trying to feed it through the window. There were all kinds of animals, from rams, to camels and Rhinos. At one point we were surrounded by zebras and even though you shouldn't, we were feeding them with our hands. A baby zebra put his head in my window all the way in. It was kind of scary having a zebra head next to yours as Erika pushed it back with some food. They were pretty dosal though. It was my favorite part. I couldn't believe I was petting a zebra in my car. I almost got poked by this deer looking animal that had these long pointy horns. I mean like 3 feet long straight. The animal tried to eat something on the floor and as he put his head down they just missed me coming back up. After, we went to the petting zoo and see giraffes. Oh and lemours.

One night Erika got a really bad ear ache. I felt so bad for her. I went at 3am to Walgreens to get her some ear drops. I researched online for what I could do to help. I kept a warm towel on her ear and kept exchanging it hoping it would make her feel better. I tried all kinds of things, but I think the pain was too much, I don't think I made much improvement. I tried really hard though, but unlike in other things in life, you don't get points for effort when someone is sick and you are not helping. She was able to finally get to sleep.

The next day I took her to the doctor. Well it being me, I took her to the HEB clinic. I know it sounds like I'm a bad person, but they were really good there and gave her medicine and everything. We spent 3 hours there and it was much better than had we gone to the hospital the night before. She started to feel a lot better and the pain wasn't as bad for the rest of the trip even though she did have one really high fever.


It is Monday and I am now back at work. I have a lot of things I need to get in order in my life, but it seems like that is always the case. Money is once again on my mind, but I have no one to blame, so I'll figure it out. I need to focus on staying positive and focused.

tempting means tempting