Celeste's Birthday

"Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work." - Rita Mae Brown

Today my niece Celeste Nicole turns one year old. This year has flown by. I hope to see her soon, she is growing so very fast. I still can't see myself with children at this point in my life, but I could easily have a 10 year old and a second child by now. I hear she is talking now, which should be cool to see, wait hear. I think that is going to be the neat part about having kids, once they are little beings that you can actually talk to. Then you can teach and mold them in little people. Here is Celeste at about 8 months or sow with the girls. FYI, that is my bench, which I'm really proud of.


Friday I got out of work early to go and visit with my grandmother. She used to live in the Valley and moved up to Ft. Worth to live with my Aunt a little less than a year ago when my grandfather passed away. Since then, I've only seen her a handful of times. She had gone down to the Valley to visit and was on her way back up with my Uncle when they dropped by my house in Buda. We just talked, caught up, shared stories. Rino dropped by later and visited as well. It is always good to see her.




Rino had a friend come and visit. He BBQed, but unfortunately for him it was Good Friday so he couldn't eat meat. I wasn't limited by that tradition though I probably should be. They were going up to Dallas the next day. Rino left for his nephew's 1st birthday party. He was born around the same time as Celeste. I wonder what that makes them, not second cousin's. What would my kid and my cousin's kid be? I think I would my cousin's kid's second cousin.


Abram got a new bike. A Honda Shadow VLX to be precise. He has worked hard for it and really deserves it. I went with him to pick the bike up Friday night. I have to say the trip home was an experience. I don't have the first idea on how to ride a motorcycle so I'm glad I was only following. I think it would be cool to learn. Abram is pretty good at it and seems to be really enjoying it. Man that is a sharp bike.

I got some things off my to do list this weekend like changing the filters for the air conditioners in our house. Man they needed it. I also saw some movies. I saw Death Race and Love in the Time of Cholera. I wanted to watch Watchmen, but didn't have anyone to go and see it with. I did get to watch the UFC fight from this weekend as well.

Max needs another bath. He ran inside and I found him upstairs full of energy just running rampant. I tackled him to the floor, part playing with him and part keeping him from chasing the cats. I held my head against him hoping that he would calm down. Instead I felt a tingling sensation. I got up and walked him downstairs. I looked down at my white shirt and it was covered in fleas. I threw him out and ran upstairs to shower. I hate fleas and Max is getting a bath to help stop that nonsense. It feels like I just gave him one. That is a step back for making him an indoor dog.

Explaining The Credit Crisis (VIDEO)

The Crisis of Credit Visualized from Jonathan Jarvis on Vimeo.

This video is very informative and explains things very very well. Very much worth the watch. Too bad afterwards you won't feel too proud of the banks

what I want

Cornellian Thoughts

I don't leave the house much
I don't like being around people
Makes me nervous and weird
I don't like going to show either
It's better for me to stay at home
Some might think it means I hate people
But that's not quite right
...
I'm turning out just like my father
Though I swore I never would
Now I can say that I have love for him
I never really understood
What it must have been like for him
Living inside his head
...

Things The Grandchildren Should Know - Mark Oliver Everett

NOVA is beginning to be one of my favorite shows on PBS, at least when they have topics I'm interested in. I just saw an episode about parallel universes. The quote above is from the singer who was featured talking about his father who invented the idea. The more I think about it, the more I can't get my mind around the concept of infinite, much less infinite parallel universes. What determines when the universes split? Wouldn't it make more sense to split based on time rather than actions and decisions. I just keep trying to figure out how small a change must be to create a whole parallel universe. Either way, I can't get my mind around the idea generally, don't know how scientists do it. Now imagine if you are God and if you have an infinite number of people to oversee, that has to be hard work judging the living and the dead. I don't understand the science at all in this case, but in a lot of the NOVA shows I learn some really interesting things, like the debate that birds came from dinosaurs. People that don't believe that are treated like the creationists of the evolutionary world. I will admit that some bore me just from reading the description. Then again, when you give them a shot, they end up being good, like the one about absolute zero. I now Tivo it and check it out whenever I can.

I'm taking lots of cut back measures on my bills in order to put my actions where my mouth is. Today, I cut a lot of features on my phone bill, so now I have half as many minutes, no 7pm nights and weekends. I lowered my netflix from 3 at time to 2 at time. I made some cuts on our cable bill, called my student loan companies. I have a lot of leaks (Amazon), but I'm working on it.

Olbermann/Coulter Take Cornell Debate To Andy Bernard-Like Level (via Huff Post)
Coulter then went on to criticize Olbermann's educational background. Both Olbermann and Coulter went to Cornell, but different schools. "Keith didn't go to the Ivy League Cornell; he went to the Old MacDonald Cornell," she writes. Olbermann responds:

Poor Annie has completely lost it. Cornell diplomas don't make any reference to individual college or major. They're Cornell diplomas. Mine looks exactly like hers, only if she was an out-of-stater she probably paid 8-10 times what I did for mine. And the premise of the University is that anybody can take almost any course. Nearly half of mine were in "her" Arts College. And this is the first time since I went there in 1975 that I've ever seen a Cornellian rag on all the other colleges. It's a long way to go just to rationalize Limbaugh not knowing the Constitution from the Declaration of Independence.

It's a Cornellian debate that would make Andrew Bernard weep...

I did not know Coulter went to Cornell. Speaking of, I wish I could see those Bill Maher (who also went to Cornell) Coulter debates coming up. But back to the story, so I love it. I just love the Andy Bernard character and how much he talks about Cornell in such a dumbass way. The episode where Dwight wanted to apply was classic. I was in the Industrial and Labor Relations school ('02), which is a state school (even though as Keith put it, I paid at least 8-10 times what NY people had to pay.) I guess I didn't go to the real Cornell either. She makes it sound like he went to Cornell College. Funny petty stuff.

Speaking of college, it is my hope, ney goal, that my nephew go to college and at that, he go to Pan Am near his home. He seems on board for going to college somewhat, but for some reason he isn't taking the right steps. How do you motivate a person to do something that is in their own best interests? I mean, I don't get anything out of it. I hate to feel like I'm pressuring a person against their own will of what they want for themselves. I want to support dreams, not force them on people. What is wrong with wanting the best for your family? I'm going to move from hoping and lecturing to actually trying to help.

Here in Austin we have these Everest institute commercicals for what I want to say is a vocational college. They are real low budget and sometimes cheesy, but man they know their demographic, I mean they sometimes make me want to go. There is one part when they are asking you to not procrastinate and call in for for more information and the hip urban guy (by that I mean black guy) says, "They are not going to call you." [Not in the ad below I don't think.] A lot of people hate the ad and I did at first, but it grew on me. Also, look at the time they show the ad, usually really late when you'd be up watching TV if you didn't have to go to work in the morning.

forgiveness and understanding

Sweet Pea

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” - Mother Teresa

Monday I got a lesson in love, but not romantic love, one I will not soon forget. I was down and did something on impulse, something I feared I would regret, but knew I needed to do. Sometimes you just need to reach out the one person in the world you have ever really trusted, the one who has ever really gotten you. The response was unexpected, especially after all these years, and in fact it was a gentle let down, but one filled with so much love, care and compassion that I remembered why I fell in love with her in the first place. I had this to compare to cold, hurtful and downright callous treatment by the most recent people in my life that I have cared about. Their problem wasn't that they were not her, but that they did not even have a tenth of the kindness and compassion that she shared. I lie, they did have it, but not consistently, not when it mattered most to me. Maybe recently, the past few years, has been my fault, I didn't earn or deserve what I wanted. It doesn't take away the disappointment. I didn't have and still don't have what it takes to be the right person for her, and deep down I always knew that, even when I walked away for a person who I knew could never care about me like she did. I'm not bothered that he is probably a better man, because there will always be better men than me, but I felt at peace hearing the tranquility in her words about the love she found. What she has, I sadly don't have to offer, and worry I may never will. I do have a lot to offer in other ways, so I don't dare count myself out, but feeling that kind spirit for just a moment gave me hope, hope that not all people let the selfish and angry parts of their being dominate. That a person's heart is a true measure of their character. She did set a bar that was higher than who she actually was, one she couldn't even meet when we had our chance, but one that I will not settle for anything less than. Until then, I still have a lot to figure out about myself, how I tick, why I do the things I do and who I want to be. I'm complicated, and yes I've been able to make it work to moderate success, but I don't want to settle for just good from myself, I want great. I was told to watch Love in the Time of Cholera and maybe I would understand. I wonder if I will. I thought of waiting until the 4th to post these thoughts but the 3rd makes more sense for a completely different reason.




Today I did something I had been meaning to do for months. I went to the DMV to exchange my VA drivers license for a Texas one. I used to have a Texas one and didn’t change it during 4 years of living in NY, then kept it for 2 more years in DC and again for a year in Florida. It was always a sign I was coming home at some point. Then when I moved back to VA, I finally changed it. When I got back to Texas, I had grown fond of my VA license, like holding on to a past life, and dragged my feet on getting a Texas one, especially considering it didn’t expire for another year. The problem is that if I got pulled over, I could get in trouble for not updating it, so I got the paperwork I needed and went in to get it done. The wait was pretty long and boring, but I finally got it taken care of. I’m now a real Texan again, with a Texas address, voter registration, paying taxes out of Texas (no state income tax), a Texas car and a Texas Bar Member.



Back to what makes me tick, so: Fox News Ratings Remain Strong, #2 Cable Channel In Primetime You know, I just don’t get this, who are all these people that watch this crap? I mean you have CNN and MSNBC, but to watch this right wing sham I just don't understand. Especially considering that Daily Show viewers are actually more informed than those that watch Fox. So FAKE NEWS = more informed than FOX NEWS.

Then we have Texas Governor Rick Perry (R). Texas, we can do so much better. I miss Ann Richards. The Governor continued his threats to reject all or part of the stimulus plan, saying of the benefits: "This is exactly how addicts get hooked on drugs" [Austin American-Statesman, 2/24/09]. While Rick Perry compares out-of-work Texans to junkies, his Texas Enterprise Fund has corporations like Countrywide hooked on easy money from hardworking Texas taxpayers. Texans deserve better.



2001 Bush legal memo allowed ‘First Amendment speech and press rights’ to be ’subordinated.’
Isn't transparency grand?



I'll end with a laugh...
The funniest picture you will see today.


It took me a while. Check out the graphic next to the reporter. It clearly says "So good you'll suck dick". This is a news report by NBC affiliate WAGT in Augusta. Guess google images isn't the best place to get pictures.

a family

Once

“Plenty of people are on to the emptiness,” John says to Frank and April during a walk in the woods, “but it takes real guts to see the hopelessness.” - Revolutionary Road, John

"No one forgets the truth Frank, they just get better at lying."
Much later..."I hate you. You are just some boy who made me laugh at a party once, and now I loath the sight of you."- Revolutionary Road, April

As you can see I saw the movie Revolutionary Road this weekend. I had been putting it off because I felt that it would depress me, make me think about things I didn't want to think about. I'm scared of the idea of being in a loveless marriage in the suburbs with a job I hate and from what I have learned, people tend to attract the things they fear most. It was a good movie, different than I expected. None of these fears have any relation to what is going on in my life, but they easily could. I guess everyone wants purpose right.

This weekend my aunt, Rino's mom, Tia Priss stopped by on her way to Dallas. She was so gracious to make us a great meal. I really missed home cooking. She is moving to Dallas for a new job and she gets the added benefit of being near her only grandson. I'm pretty happy for her.

I spent a lot more time than usual with Max this weekend. He got walks, was able to hang out inside on a leash and free and even learned to use the treadmill. At one point during a walk, I saw a dad teaching a son how to ride a bike. The little boy was doing great, he had good speed and balance, but he couldn't remember how to break. It was a bit funny because he was going downhill. The dad told him how and he was able to stop. I never saw him fall, but at one point on our way back I did see him picking the bike up off the ground, so I'm guessing he fell.

I was adding a ringtone to my iphone when I started messing with the settings. I tried out an experiment. I played the text message ringtone. I swear I was like Pavlov's dog. There was an emotional response to it. I kept doing it, knowing that it was just me, but something inside me gave me anticipation of who might be contacting me and what they might have to say. I hope someone understands what I mean.

I saw a documentary about God, the Church and the stuff they teach to children. It was a decent documentary, but not great...nothing close to Religulous. The guy had an ax to grind because he was threaten with eternal damnation if he didn't accept Jesus as his personal savior. I don't blame him, but he should of approached it in a more neutral way. The information was great though and a lot of good arguments were made. It is hard to have a rational discussion about God because it all comes down to Faith, but faith in what? The Bible, or what people have told you about the Bible? That is fine with me, but even with that faith I still think you should be able to talk about it rationally.

This weekend I watched Rush at CPAC on CNN. It was a 90 minute speech full of so much crap such as political insults against President Obama and Democrats he even doubled down on wanting Obama to fail. Now I listened intently the entire time because sometimes I need to remember how to think like a conservative. I remember being a child watching him on TV and thinking that Clinton must really be an evil guy and how lazy the poor were. Funny how his ideas made more sense when I was young and impressionable and didn't question his bullshit. He made some good points though, mainly about strategy. If you believe in your ideals, go for them and don't water them down for the sake of bi-partisanship. Progressives really should just do the best job they can and forget about trying to placate the small minority whose interests are the top 2% of the population.

I have been writing a lot. I write each day like it really matters. I think that I do it just to reflect on things rather than doing more things. Today a lot of people I knew were snowed in and got the day off from school or work. You know what some did? They went out to enjoy the snow. Like took a trip downtown to see the snow and enjoy it. What would I have done had it been me? I would of enjoyed a day away from work/school at home, nice and warm. I would not have used the day for the opportunity it held, but instead used it to do nothing since I knew tomorrow would be a day of may responsibilities. Next time I'm going to do something instead.

hate friends you may know function