Not the most Efficient Approach

"I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past." -Thomas Jefferson

On Friday, I went to class and then came back and met up with Juan who was hanging out by the pool reading. It was a sunny day and you usually don't get to hang out by the pool getting a tan in NY. We went down to Ocean Dr and walked around a bit. Juan was introduced to the small dog as a fashion accessory. We then walked over to Lincoln Road and walked amongst the other tourists looking for a restaurant that we found intriguing. We finally setted for a jazz bar called Van Dykes. We ate outside and caught up on how life was going. It was a good meal with good service.

That night was dedicated to dancing. Frank set up a night for use to go to Bongos, a latin dance club, and we met up there with some of his friends. The place wasn't as packed as it was the last time we went, but there there were enough people to have a good time. Frank and Juan danced a lot, and even I got out there and tried to learn thanks to Frank's nice and patient friend.

Saturday was a very warm and sunny day, so Juan and I made our way to the beach. The beach is a great place and I don't go often enough. I read a book, got some sun and even played soccer for a bit. The beach was really packed, and some people, the sun bathers, are better be by than the loud drunk guys. I always took for granted that you could drink on the beach, but Juan said in NY that you can't drink on public beaches. It was really damn relaxing and I felt like I was the one on vacation.

As the sun went down, we found a nice Cuban place on Ocean Dr. to eat at. I bought Juan a Mojito for him to try. It must have been strong because we were feeling them before our meals came. This is the first time I've actually enjoyed eating plantains. I still won't seek them out, but they are not as bad tasting as I once thought. I really like Moros, but I've always been a rice and beans person I guess.

Saturday night, the plan was to go out to the South Beach clubs. Considering the fun Fed and Juan had in Ft. Lauderdale, we went there instead. It was probably better, because the club scene is more fun when you go with a group of girls. We had another great night out.

Overall the trip was great. It was great seeing Juan and thanks to him, I actually went out and had some fun. These were good times I would not of had if not for him. So I am very thankful to him for coming.

I was driving to Burger King to get some food for Juan and I and I ran into a law student acquaintance who was out there in the parking lot doing a support car wash. I was in a rush so I didn't have time for a wash, but when he came over to talk to me, I donated 10 dollars to their cause. So this is a good guy who probably isn't much older than I am. I know he is married, but I don't think he has children. He was there working with his church raising money for these kids to go to a church camp. I was impressed that he would donate his time to his church like that and work with so much enthusiasm to raise money for kids that were not even his. There are some good people out there.

Monday morning, I wake up, do my reading for contracts, and walk out to my truck to drive to class. I was in a good mood, and then as I walk up to my truck, I notice that my front left tire was flat. My first thought was, how am I going to move this big truck to a gas station to put in air. Then I thought, oh, I should put on the spare. I think my mind was running slow. I have yet to need to use the spare on my truck, and I didn't have time. I thought of missing class, but due to my absences, I couldn't miss class. Fed was gone already, so I didn't know what I could do. Luckily, I ran into a classmate who gave me a ride. I am a very lucky guy. I got a ride home from another friend.

So I am getting ready to embark upon my 4th spring break. I fly out on Weds and get back Saturday night. I have sent Terri my list of groceries I will need, including but not limited to my orange juice and my special brand of ice cream. I am not happy that it is going to be raining every single day I am there, so you add that to the cold and this should make for a fun time. I am going to be very happy to see her again.

My basketball bracket is all busted up. I am in last place and am doing the worst I have done in 3 years of playing. I haven't been watching the tournament as much as I have in the past.

same background, different experience

Yellow and Blue make Green

But since you been gone

I can breathe for the first time

I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah

Thanks to you, now I get what I want

Since you been gone
- Kelly Clarkson Since U Been Gone

I can not get that Kelly Clarkson song out of my mind. Maybe because they play it 2 times a day at the gym while I am there, but it is really addictive. I like the way it makes me feel. What bothers me is that I don't like Kelly Clarkson much. I mean, I am impressed that they got her a trainer and made her hot and all, but she seemed like an average girl who could sing, but nothing special. Whomever wrote this song, knows how to write music well.

Juan Carlos is in town. He came down from NY and I hope to make up for Herbert's less than stellar trip by making Juan's time amazing. I have never gone out so much in my life. I hope to take him out every night he is here. I am lucky that his first night will be St. Patrick's Day, so we are going to Ft. Lauderdale where I am told they close off the streets and have a celebration. Terri will be quick to point out that it is not Boston, but not having know the fun of a Boston St. Patrick's Day/Week/Month, this should probably be the biggest celebration I have seen.

Today everyone is wearing green, all types of shade, yet I haven't really seen too much pinching going on. I am wearing yellow and blue, but yeah, nobody cares. I guess I don't care what other people are wearing either. How did beads become parts of St. Patrick's Day?

So took him down to downtown Ft. Lauderdale for St. Patrick's Day on Thursday. I have never seen so many girls wearing green in my life. Due to the rain, it took a while to pick up, but when it did, Juan had one of the best nights ever. We pretty much bar hopped among all the Spring Breakers. I am so glad I discovered this strip of bars because it is a lot more my style than South Beach. Fed went out with us and liked it so much, he went back the following night.

A good compliment I got from Juan, was that I as different and happier. Nothing like a little validation to make you feel good about feeling good. I guess I feel more relaxed and laid back now that I'm not burdened with so much stress. Juan also seemed to be in good spirits and I was impressed with his dedication to running.

Last time I casually mentioned my acceptance as a law clerk for an internship in Texas. Let me tell you now how excited I am. It feels great to have an understanding of where I am going to be and what I am going to be doing. I am very happy for the help and recommendation I got and hope to do a good job. My job next summer is going to be a big deal, so I'm going to have to really start looking early for that one because I want to make sure I find something that will help me decide what I want to do after I graduate.

I am now done with that motion for summary judgment I had talked about so much. Talk about a pain, but hopefully I did well. I worked with Ralph on it, which really helped a lot because I think had I had to do it on my own, it would have been much much harder, I would have worked for less time on it though. Now it is time to get back to law school. One thing I noticed was hard working people studying for class each day. It made me rethink my approach and study habits. I know I'll stick to my usual routine, but it never hurts to work a bit harder.

Right now my room is a mess. I tore my room apart to find an old phone before I got this new one. I have been so busy, I haven't had a chance to clean it up. My plan is to take some time soon and clean it up. I hate having a mess. I have having a conversation with a friend about the difference between messy and dirty. I can be messy, but I'm not dirty...it sucks when a person is dirty, doesn't make for a good roommate I think. Luckily, I make an effort to not be messy and actually enjoy things being clean.


So they kicked my girl off the OC, moving her to Chicago. (illegitimate daughter girl) Nobody liked her but me, which makes me happy because it means that my interests are unique. I saw that she is going to be on some shark attack movie on CBS. Ok, I know she could have picked something better, but at least she is still getting tv time. I watched it only for a bit, but her character didn't impress me much.

We get some time off for Easter, so I decided to go and visit a friend for her birthday. This should be a great trip. I am looking forward to it, despite that it is going to be cold, something I have made a point to stay away from, but I think this will be worth it. I will probably take some school books with me, but I'm sure I won't touch them. I hope to take the experience for what it is, not what I wish it to be or what it could be. I don't know if this will make the week go by faster or slower due to the anticipation.

When Julia was here, I met up with her for lunch. She was staying at her grandmother's in Boca Raton. The name of the community was called broken sound. That is a really cool name, I should start a band called broken sound. I enjoyed seeing first hand a closed gate community. I hope to own a home in Boca when I retire. It seems like a relaxing life, though very closed off from the outside world.

Feds bowls came in. The bowls he purchased for the one he broke of mine. Well I am glad that I found my bowl because his bowls were not bowls, but saucers. They were small and useless, probably made for dips, which is funny because it really makes you think about perspective when looking at webpage pictures. We will find some use for them though.

Math, it is really simple. If you put 10 marbles in a jar and one is red and 9 are black, your odds of pulling a red marble is 1 in 10. This means that if I were to make you a bet, I would say that if you pulled the red marble I'd give you 10 bucks, but if you pulled a black one you give me 1 buck. The is how odds and betting odds work. So I offered Jenny 5 dollars if Texas beats IL in the NCAA tournament, but if they lost, she had to pay me 20 dollars. The odds of beating IL are like 100 to 1, so it was a bad bet on my part, but nobody ever wants to make a bet where they can lose more than they can win. Hence no bet. Instead I joined a bracket tournament with Fed for 10 bucks. I didn't play with my heart like I have in the past, so I have some of my favorite teams going out early. I'll actually admit that I have IL winning the whole thing, even though most of the experts don't have them winning. I miss being at work where the pot is huge, since I'm sure Fed's tournament is going to be somewhat small. (Update: Texas didn't even get to play IL.)

Stay away from negativity, negative people and negative situations is my advice. That shit just seeps into your life and starts to poison your world. What sucks is when someone is positive, yet they choose to be negative around you, maybe they don't like you, maybe you make them angry or resentful. I guess though they may be good, you should keep your distance too. Another problem I have is people I can't help but be negative around. There are few people that fall into that category, but whenever I'm around them, I am very hard on them, expect too much from them and then to give off a disapproving feeling. I tell myself to stop it, but I don't know I am doing it and don't do it on purpose. So all I can do is do them a favor and stay away from them because I won't be able to add anything to their life.

tell me something sweet

Abercrombie Shirt

I missed the good part then I realised

I started looking and the bubble burst

I started looking for excuses.

I've got to tell you what a state I'm in..

I've got to tell you in my loudest tones

That I started looking for a warning sign

When the truth is

I miss you.

- Warning Sign

I can tell you a lot about a girl and her personality by the way her eye brows look. You can see a lot, their insecurities, their vanity, their friendliness, their confidence level, and even their sense for fashion. If you know a person for a while and you see how they change over time, you can see how they mature as a person too, or in some cases make bad decisions and go ways that weren't best for them. If they don't change, you then they probably didn't change much either, maybe they were scared to. If you are a girl, here is my personal advice. Too small is never good...but of course bushy isn't attractive either. Go to an expensive professional, get them done correctly and then follow their lines from here on out, instead of just trying to figure it out on your own. People see your face first and eye brows are an important part of that.

I had to make my decision on the phone situation today. I was ready to change to Sprint and join the countless other people I know who have Sprint. I walked into the store and picked a phone I liked. There was a Samsung that I liked, but it had no speakerphone, and a Sanyo I thought was cool, and was about to buy. Then I went outside, sat down and thought about it more. As I looked at the phone I was going to buy vs. the phone I just bought, the only benefit this other phone had was that it had a flash on the camera. I really like my Motorola. Then I thought about the benefits of getting Sprint. Main benefit, a lot of people I know have it and my calls to them would be free. But was the issue really about minutes, I mean I do have enough minutes on Cingular. It isn't service, cause I'm happy with service and now that money is knocked out, it is just about vanity. Change for the sake of change isn't good and there wasn't enough reason for me to try a new company out. I'll be an individual and have my own unique plan different from everyone else. So another one year contract with Cingular.


Nobody cares about your success, but you. I know this sounds really cynical and bad natured, but if you really think about it, this is really your responsiblity and not other peoples. I know people whose success and happiness mean a lot to me, and I would do what I could to help them out, but having people like that is rare and they should be counted on secondarily and not foremost, because your success is yours. I learned young when I came home with my perfect grades, being disappointed that my parents were not excited enough. They offered me no rewards and their praise was similar to those of my siblings who had far lower grades. I used to resent that and keep lists of $5 for every A so that one day I could pull the list out one day and collect a windfall. No windfall came. I think I've run into this problem with getting in shape and going to school. I start to get excited as I am dropping weight and getting stronger, and then I notice that nobody really cares. (by cares I mean by longer than the second that I get a compliment). At first I found this discouraging, not understanding how my friends could careless that I am pursing all my goals and making all kinds of progress towards them. Then it really hit me, I need to be responsible for myself and stop being dependant on the thoughts and feedback of the people around me because they are all off doing their own things to make them happy. So I could just stop everything I am doing in life and lay down and do nothing and nobody is going to come to the rescue.

I have been kicked out of the library 2 times already, not like by a bouncer, but because they were closing. I've never had this problem in my life before. Today I plan to hopefully get kicked out for a 3rd time in 3 days, and hopefully with a Motion that is almost completed. I don't think I have worked this hard in a very long time. I feel like we worked too hard in some of the wrong places, but in the end I'm sure we will turn out a good product.


Saturday night I went out with Cynthia and Michele. I felt terrible because they thought I was no fun because I wasn't up for getting drunk and staying up with them to walk on the beach in the morning after going out. Usually I would be a good friend and stay out all night and make sure they had a good time, but I have this academic issue of this motion due and I had to be at school in the morning to work on it Sunday. Cynthia gave me a lot of shit for not being fun. So I get ready and show up at their hotel at 11pm. I was hoping to go out early so that I could bounce early, but guess what, they were not ready when I got there. So I chilled and hung out as they get dressed and ready. Of course I wasn't in the best mood because I knew the time I was spending there I could be at a bar or club meeting new people and having fun. We finally get out of there and don't get to the Delano until 1am. I only planned to have a drink there, but we ended up having a really good time. We met some cool people, the girls got invited to the Keys, I got some nice compliments and one woman who we asked why Miami people were so "not very nice" quickly said I looked like I was from San Antonio. I laughed telling her how cool it was that I was a stereotype, but it was a good call. I was talking to Michele outside of CVS while Cynthia talked to some guy in who pulled over his Benz to come out and talk to her. I was laughing and telling Michele that I bet CVS was a good place to meet girls. There was a group of girls inside and while I looked their way telling Michelle, one girl smiled. Usually I wouldn't go over and talk to her, but Michelle said that she had that natural look I liked, and for whatever reason I took that as enough justification to go talk to her. So I go in and talk to the girls who are on vacation. We talked about their night and where they had been and where they were from. They were all very nice, but I didn't want to use my night to hang out with friends to hit on tourists, so I said good night and went to collect Cynthia. In retrospect, I should of talked to these girls more, but all that was going through my head was "you have to be up at 8am, you have to be up at 8am." Then we run into two girls from Mexico. I think I'm liking this talking to more people thing. They were on their way to Mangos, but were not worth going all the way to that club. I would have gotten into more conversation, but when they asked if we knew spanish, Cynthia said yes, and her spanish is probably as good as mine, so once the language changed, I didn't feel like talking as much. We get to Mint and guess what, Michelle doesn't like the music, so she wants to go to Mangos. Seriously, there is one club I learning not to like and that is it, but instead we decide to go to Crobar. We finally get there at 2:30am and before I pay the cover, I tell the girls I was going to leave. Cynthia gives me the guilt trip of how she is never in Miami and what a terrible friend I was and I took it trying my hardest not to tell her off and tell her how if we would have gone out at 11pm we could of had more time to hang out and since they spent all their time getting dressed, they were the ones to blame. But I kept it in, because I honestly did want her to have a good time. I left and stopped by a bar had a quick drink and some conversation and then drove home to catch some sleep. Another funny moment was when I was asking the girls about guys with awesome cars and they told me cars didn't matter, but during that conversation, a group of greasy guys in a kick ass car call some girls over and they were all over them. Maybe I just don't understand.

isn't getting what you want grand, saves you from what you want to avoid by having it now.

Back to the Real World

"No good deed goes unpunished." - Clare Boothe Luce

Frank and Fed both know spanish very well, but neither knew how to say "best man" in spanish. So I started asking around trying to find out the correct translation (not just literal). I talked to so many spanish speakers and nobody knew. So if you know, help me out. You can use my message board.

There is something new I have been thinking about, my life purpose. It is a big term, so I'm not just gonna pick anything to label it. I am trying to put it into words. Here are things I am ruling out. Being successful and rich...that will just happen and money will come with, but that really isn't a purpose, but a means of fulfillment. Being happy...that is not a purpose but a state. Then we have the helping other people bullshit that seems to be everyone's life purpose. I used to think it was mine, and I do plan to help other people from my family to my ultimate goal of immigrants, but everyone's life purpose is to help other people and I just can't see that as my own unique life purpose, maybe a component. Then you have the spiritual life purpose of making God happy, but that too is too general and should be done as well by living a good life with a good life purpose. So I think I can't think of a good life purpose because one, I haven't heard of any good ones yet, and two, I am thinking too large and abstract. As I try to find mine, give me ideas of ones you have heard, or what yours are. I won't attack them or tell you they are bad, but I think if I can hear a good specific one, I will be able to more clearly define mine. What if I get it and then die the next day? No matter what it is, I think I am pursuing it right now, I just don't have it clearly defined where I can explain it well. Now talking about goals, which for me is much different, those I am still working on and learning more about. I do enjoy the structure of setting goals, but I still think I'm too scared to make clear definite ones for the future in that I like the leeway of going where life's opportunities take me, though I think they are not exclusive, so maybe that is just an excuse.


In class on Wednesday, I was watching a girl type and she was very fast. I am a decent fast typist, but I don't think that all my practice has helped me get faster. I type everyday, for class notes, online chatting, writing these entries, but yet I don't feel that each day my typing improves. I remember how in the 7th grade when we learned to type, Rick was freaking fast. I've always been content with my speed, but I'm thinking, I'm going to start putting some time into my typing skills so that I could make less mistakes (backspace I don't even notice anymore) and a bit on my spelling skills. Woah, spelling, maybe I'll work on that...ok I'm gonna put that off, but I'm gonna add it to my list for later. I think since I type so much, typing faster and better would actually help me be more productive.

It is interesting how a day can go from amazing to downright crappy. I wake up early Thursday morning and decide to skip class. Instead I go to pick Terri up from her cruise. She came back with some great stories and it had inspired me to go on a cruise before I leave Miami. She had a great time, got a nice tan and got me a carved wooden cat from one of the places she visited. It was very thoughtful of her and now I am starting a collection because Herbert got me one from Mexico. Seriously dude, I'm collecting cats now...well it is better than collecting live ones. We had lunch, spent some time together and I dropped her off in Ft. Lauderdale to catch her flight to the oh so warm DC. As I drove away, I decided since I was in the area, to go to Hard Rock and play a round of poker. I had this feeling that I couldn't lose. Well I lost, and quick.

Then Julia canceled on me for Friday, but we made alternative plans. Cynthia and Michelle arrived from Texas, so I met up with them and took them out. Cynthia wanted to go to Mangos, a place she had seen on a prior visit. The place was laid back, but not worth the 20 bucks which kept me there. Then the night starts to get fun when some dominican guy Cynthia was dancing with comes up to her while we are talking and maybe we were arguing or something, but this guy starts yelling at me and picking a fight. He asks me in spanish what my deal with her is. He was a big guy, with a strong crew who could all probably kick my ass, but fuck them, I told him that I didn't know what his problem was. Well as he looked like he was going to start bashing my ass, the bouncer came in and broke shit up. Thanks Cynthia for almost getting my ass kicked. Then later I dance, and somehow my cell phone must of fallen out. So I lose my cell phone. I do all the usually things, lost and found, retrace etc, but nothing. It is gone. Honestly I could care less about the phone, but man there were some important numbers in there that are going to be hard to get plus some pictures in there that meant a lot to me. So my day went from great to losing more money than I care to mention, almost getting my ass kicked and losing my connection to the world. Did I mention I missed my workout too? This should be a good test of my positive outlook on life. Note: IF WE TALK ON THE PHONE, EMAIL ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE IT. For those of you that lucked out and I no longer have your number, well this works out perfectly for you. :) PS Young and attractive girls feel free to send me your numbers too.

Let me tell you how I turned around my day. I slept in. Usually this would be a bad thing, but I was sleep deprived from many short nights of sleep and figured I'd just catch up. I woke up, went to Cingular and got me a brand new phone, one that perfectly fit me. I found out my contract was running out, so I can switch companies, but I only have 3 days to decide. I was thinking about Spirit, but I don't know if there is a phone there I would like, I really like Motorola. So if you have any advice on that, give it to me quick.

Then I talked to my sister Ana and found out my brother got more money than he had originally planned on from his tax return, so that made me feel good. I talked to Julia and we rescheduled to meet up for lunch tomorrow, so that was good. I checked my email and guess what? I got accepted for the internship in Texas for the summer. Now my summer plans are set, how sweet is that. I started working on my summary motion project which is due Tuesday and will take most of my weekend. I am ending the day feeling much better than I did last night.

creative avoidance