Camping

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." -Author Unknown

On Saturday I got a call from Abram. He had plans to go camping with my cousin Adam, but his truck broke down. He had to spend the night at a gas station waiting for a tow truck. He and Corey had plans to go to South Padre for the week. So on their way down in Corey's car, they dropped by. Abram and I went over to Rino's house and hung out there. We got to meet his girlfriend. We drank, played poker and had a good time. It was an unexpected visit. The next morning I dropped Abram off in San Marcos and they took off the beach.

I'm dog sitting for Rino next week. That should be an interesting time. This will be my second time dog sitting in my life. Why am I a cat person? My cats smell good, dogs not so much. I'm supposed to like dogs, maybe I have just never owned one.


Monday was a better day. I went to my morning class and we got out early at 11am. It was Claudia's birthday so I joined her and Hector for lunch at this Wings place. The food was good and we tried to make her day a little brighter considering the whole bar exam studying. Then we went to St. Eds were we studyed the rest of the day. After that, I convinced them to go to dinner. I wanted some drinks to celebrate her birthday and just because I needed to unwind. We ended up going to the place we had lunch for my brother Abram's graduation right next door to the doubletree hotel. I liked that place. I had a few beers and we talked. It was a productive day and I didn't feel the least bit bad relaxing considering the day I put in.

There are so many things going through my mind still, but life is a good distraction. I hate to be taken for granted and sometimes you just reach the extent you are willing to bend before you have a little self respect and turn around. Maybe I shouldn't of drank so much tonight.

Have I mentioned I got an A in my econ class. I'm pretty proud of that. I got a B in commerical paper, which was decent considering the effort. I don't get many As, so I was very proud of that.

President Bush was presented with a letter Monday signed by 50 high school seniors in the Presidential Scholars program urging a halt to "violations of the human rights" of terror suspects held by the United States. These kids are my heros. The designation as a Presidential Scholar is one of the nation's highest honors for graduating high school students. Each year the program selects one male and one female student from each state, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, Americans living abroad, 15 at-large students, and up to 20 students in the arts on the basis of outstanding scholarship, service, leadership and creativity.The handwritten letter said the students "believe we have a responsibility to voice our convictions."
"We do not want America to represent torture. We urge you to do all in your power to stop violations of the human rights of detainees, to cease illegal renditions, and to apply the Geneva Convention to all detainees, including those designated enemy combatants," the letter said.

finances

First Day of Summer

"If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep." -Dale Carnegie

On Tuesday night I had a sleep study done. I did not know what to expect, but know that I wanted to make sure I got my sleep situation worked out. I showed up not quite sure how I should be dressed. The place was nice, but still had more of a doctor's office feel than a hotel room feel. I waited for a while in my room not knowing what to expect. First thing I noticed was all the pillows. Man, there were two normal pillows, two fancy ones on top of that, then square ones and a small square one...I think they are called throw pillows. It looked nice and all, but totally over the top. I mean, how can one or two people use that many pillows. I'll just never get pillows. The top ones were too nice to use anyway I think. But I digress. So finally the nurse lady came in and told me they would show me a video on what was going to happen. It wasn't the greatest quality, but it let me know what to expect. It was weird since I was spending so much money part of me wanted to know what was wrong, but the other part wanted me to be normal so I can just cancel that cause off my list. I was assuming there were be a few wires and such, but man I was wrong. I sat down and for 20-30 mins the lady started putting electrode after electrode on me. It makes you really aware of your body. From my legs to the top of my head. Then came this tube they put on my nose and in my mouth to check for breathing. Once I was all wired up, all I could think was that I wanted a picture, just because I don't think anyone could really understand without seeing it.

I was really glad I had gone to the restroom before hand. I then took a sleeping pill (my choice) and laid down. I told the lady that I sleep on my stomach and she said I couldn't, but that I could sleep on my side. I was worried it would make it harder to fall asleep. We then tested all the wires by me moving my arms and legs and eyes all about on her command. It felt weird knowing there was a camera watching me and this voice coming out of the wall. Then it was time for bed. The room was really dark and I was left there with just my thoughts. That is probably the largest part of my insomnia. I tossed and turned for a bit very aware of the wires...oh I had a pulse thing on my ring finger as well. I was sure that would come off at night, but it didn't. Then before I knew it, the medicine kicked in and it was 6am in a flash. I sat down and had everything removed. She told me I snored a bit, but it wasn't too bad, but that it would take a few weeks to get my results. She said her guess it would at worst just be mild. I hope they are very detailed in the report I get. I drove back home 30mins and instead of going to class, fell asleep. I don't know how to explain it, but I spent the entire day in bed, something I haven't done in a while.

Thursday morning I started my regular schedule and went to my 2nd day of class and after a doctor's appointment, went to the library to study with Hector and Claudia. I also got the notes I missed the day before. I think I should go there more, but St. Eds is so far away.

Friday was the simulated MBE. 3 hours in the morning and 3 in the afternoon. It kicked my ass, but I enjoyed every moment of it because I know that it will give me a better idea of how screwed I am. I recognized the topics most of the time, but had no clue the answer since I didn't have the rule memorized or learned. Now on Saturday and Sunday I'll be going to class from 9-5pm going over that test. That is going to be long, but it is important. I hope it helps me learn how to be a better test taker. I was able to finish early due to not knowing answers and just guessing and moving on. If this were only the test for the bar I'd be scared, but there is TWO more days of essays I need to learn for as well. Let's see how all this translates.

I haven't been able to shake the down, lonely and stressed feeling I've had since graduation. It isn't really the test, more so my finances, lack of a job/job search (or lack there of) and more finances (I think this might be my month to go below water). I wish I could get a handle on things emotionally. I know how not to care, but I don't feel not caring makes things better in reality. It just pretends things are not happening. I like to make things better, to fix things, to work toward my happiness. To make things right and just. Then I get down on myself, I mean shit, I just had this outpouring of love and congratulations from my family and friends last weekend, yet I can't let that lift me up longer, I'm not dealing with a life threatening cancer like one of my friends, I'm not worrying about getting married and what that means in my life, I have so many things, but not peace of mind it seems. It sounds so weak saying this type of shit, and I don't like who I am when I do. These are just moments though, moments when I feel like I don't have control. At other times I feel normal, even great at times, but I'll never complain about that. If I pass the bar I think I'm just going to move to Mexico and get away from it all for like a year. I don't even know what I'm running away from.

I recommend watching Sicko. It is very good and since I'm not going to have health insurance soon, it talked about issues that I am worried about. I have the Nader documentary coming in the mail soon, so hopefully I'll like that.

that was it, no more

Family

"You never learn from success. Success you take as the natural order of things."-David Ivor Young

On Friday I didn't have class. I waited for my cousin Rino to get out of work and then we drove down to the Valley for my graduation party. The drive ended up being longer when I took a wrong turn in San Antonio. We ended up getting home a little past midnight and Jamie was there waiting for us. We stayed up for a while catching up with Jamie and then went to bed. It had been a while since I had gone to sleep past 11pm.

The next morning we got up and drove to Mexico. I hadn't been the last few times I had been home and it is something I like to do. Rino and I crossed the bridge into Progresso and did a bit of shopping. We had a late lunch at a Mexican restaurant. We then purchased 5 bottles and then headed home.

After stopping by my mom's house, I went over to the Party. Rick was nice enough to let us use his backyard for the party. Eliza and Ana put the party together and I didn't have to worry about anything. When I arrived I was very surprised with how much effort and work that went into the party. I was impressed with the decorations, catering and all the details (including my favorite food brocolli) that went into it. The first thought that came to me was wow I am really loved. They set up tables with a casino theme, there was a bar, a cake and a table of pictures from past graduations. It was also great that the backyard was really awesome with a pool, palm trees and space. My family started to arrive and I got to see a lot of my family that I hadn't seen in a while, but want to start seeing more. My cousins, aunts and uncles all arrived and they were all very proud of me.

I tried to visit with everyone and was very thankful that they showed up. I feel like I was able to get to know some people a lot better too. As the night got later, Ricardo, Jerry and Leonor showed up. I was happy they were able to make it. We drank and talked for a few hours. Late into the night when everyone was gone, we were left with Ana, Eliza, Rino, Rick, and Alex. We stayed up until 4am and I got really drunk. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to start drinking in Mexico that morning. Overall, I had a really great time.

On Sunday, I woke up and had lunch with my mother, Eliza, Tori, Bekkah and Jamie. I made sure to with my father a happy father's day. We then started our drive back to Austin at about 1pm. I received some text messages that were sent days earlier, I wish my phone would just work normally. The drive was shorter on the way back, but felt longer.

On Monday it was back to business as usual. I went to my morning class where I learned about Trusts. Claudia did not make it, but Hector did. I left my contracts cd in Rino's cd case, so I talked to Abram on my drive back.

I have some news. It seems like everyone is getting married, well engaged as of late. I just found out that my friend Jorge and Michelle are now engaged. I am so happy for them. They are the quintessential perfect for each other couple. Jorge is a lucky man. I think that is pretty amazing news.

grand day

Broken Phone

"Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future." - Sivananda

My cell phone is broken. I don't know what it is. Maybe it is because I dropped it. It only gets text messages days late and doesn't log all my calls. I have to keep reseting it to get it to work. Communication is a big deal. Sometimes when means of communication break down assumptions are made. All I know is that I feel that a person should never intentionally try to hurt another person. For any reason. There are many things that are wrong with me right now, but now isn't the time to fix it.


I am beat after my two doubles of bar review classes. 9-12:30 and 6-9:30 plus 45 mins driving each way twice (3 hours). At least I'll have a 2 day break during a 9 day class streach. On the Wednesday night class Hector and Claudia did not come so it was a bit lonely. Then on Thursday I showed up to class at 9am and noticed it was an 8:30am class. I felt silly, but Hector and Claudia were not there either. I have Friday - Sunday off.

My sleep study got moved until next week. We had a problem with my doctor being out. I was hoping to talk about that experience. I'm still doing great at running each morning at 7am. I listen to the Fray or watch CNN and each day I can run a little bit more. It still isn't too impressive, but I'm proud of my advancements. I'm happy I have a threadmill.

Too bad the Spurs won so easily. I was hoping to have more finals games to watch.

I just heard that Pooch Cafe might become a TV series. How cool would that be? I wish I had taken Texas Civil Procedure, and consumer law...oh yeah and Oil and Gas.

married?