Thursday I had a double helping of Barbri. Class from 9-4 was hard. I don't feel I was doing as well listening for that second 3 hours. Once class was done I rushed home to pack. The traffic was terrible since everyone was leaving for memorial day weekend.
I turned in my rental car and was at the airport with time to spare. I was not happy I had to fly to Houston to get to Harlingen. My flight ended up getting delayed in both Austin and Houston and I arrived at around midnight. Ana and Rick picked me up and I went to go and visit my grandmother. I always make it a point to see her whenever I am down.
I met my father on Saturday for a late lunch and picked up my truck from him. I then visited with Eliza and later Ana. At night I went to Cynthia's college graduation party. I had a good time and it was nice getting to see her before she leaves for Arkansas.
At one point I went over to a girl's house I had dated to talk about some things that needed to be said. It was like talking to a different person. Some people will never fail to let you down, but it is important that we got to say goodbye. I really need to work on my expectations. Distractions are not good for me right now, and what I thought would be simple turned out to be more complicated. There is a reason the past should be left in the past.
Today would be my sister Veronica's birthday. I don't keep track on how old she would be, but she will always be 29 to me. I'm getting close to that age and I still feel like I don't get it yet. When I think about Vero, it makes me think I need to value the time I spend with my family more. I wonder what she would be doing now, where our collective lives would be. I was hoping to see my nieces while I was home since it was their weekend to visit. Unfortunately their father can be an ass and chose not to let them come and visit because he was having a pissy fit. You want to get pissed and make an issue of it, but escalating things only makes things worse. So instead of going to the police to enforce the court order, we chose to let him cool off and forgive him and hope it doesn't happen again. I do feel it was the right thing even though I wasn't able to see Bekkah and Jamie this trip. Sometimes people don't have control over what is going on in their lives and they try to exert control where they feel they have control and I think that is what he is doing. The girls deserve so much better, but you can't pick who your father is. I don't doubt he loves them, but I do know he would put his own interests above theirs.
My mom noticed that I had this yellow clinque cream I used for dry skin due to the dry air during the winter. She gave me a huge bottle of it. It is funny how a small sample I was given ended up leading to having a huge bottle. Too bad I don't really use it too much now because there is no heater that sucks that water out of the air.I am working on fighting the feeling of not feeling at home. It is hard to explain, but I don't feel like there is a place where I feel at home. DC felt temporary, Austin feels more temporary, Edinburg doesn't feel right either. I need to pick a place and settle in. I hope to have a home base one day and then go live in other places for a few months, but that is years and years away. I don't mind being mobile, but I'd really like a place to call my own.
On Sunday I wanted to get back to Austin as soon as I could. I had lunch with my sisters and mother and then packed up my truck and drove back. It was raining and there were times my truck did fishtail a bit, but I arrived safely. It feels good to have my truck back. Seeing Koki and Mia made me feel better and I continued my habit of going to bed early and waking up early.
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